Poasters Computer Forums

Yum...are you taking orders?  Make mine a double cheese with an ice cold Michalobe Light, please.  Just cheese, extra thin crust and the Michalobe Light should be on the verge of freezing in a frosted mug.  



Karen

Peperroni with extra cheese, or black olives with extra cheese. Otherwise, cheese with extra cheese.



Let's get this straight, up front, right now. I'm not sharing my pizza with Ace. Uh-uh, no way, forget it.





Alex Garcia

Excellent question, since pizza is one of nature?s most perfect foods.

I like a thin crust with plenty of sauce and sliced tomatoes I, prefer Asiago cheese if I have the choice.

Real Italian sausage, artichokes, big slices of Portabella mushrooms, just a hint of anchovies,

black olives, and some flaked red pepper to sprinkle around a bit.



But hey pizza is pizza and I will try it in any way, shape or style.  





 

Now I'm drooling all over the Forum just thinking about it.



Make mine a thin crust, pepperoni, italian sausage, extra cheese and anchovies.



HELP!I need a roll of paper towels to wipe my mouth.



Neon, this is all your fault.



Joanie

For me, it's a hard choice between white pizza with sausage, or thin crust pizza with sausage, bacon, and extra cheese.

And now that it's supper time, after reading this, I might just have to go order some pizza for tonight.

Carol





It is never too soon to do a kindness, for one never knows how soon it will be too late.

Decisions, decisions.

Does anyone know just what the difference is between ham and Canadian bacon?

Also, do you agree that it is wrong to put chicken on pizza, or any foul (fowl? fowell?) for that matter?



I'll guess that Ace probably likes that deep dish Chicago style with Jagermeister. Or anything else with Jagermeister.

Hey, I know that one.

Canadian bacon comes from the loin just like pork chops do.

Ham comes from the hindquarters (butt). Smoked picnics come from the shoulders.

Smoked pork chops come from the loin also.



Yes, I agree no chicken on pizza. Smoked duck is ok though, or perhaps Emu.





 

All the pizza's everyone want's makes me verrrrrrrrry hungry. I can't decide what I'll have so I'll just take take a slice from everyone else. MMMMMuuuummhhh that's good. I'll have another bottle of Michelob if you please.





John

Criminy, I leave the room for a day or so and there you all go again.



Ok, first off, anyone who orders "a pizza with cheese" as a topping is a maroon. I mean, geez louise, do you mention "with crust" too?@(#!!



Extra cheese is ok, but Scuzzy's pie is safe from me if he goes with the black olives because I consider those a non-food source along with caulk and faucet washers.  Although for taste and texture, i could see the faucet washers having an edge.  I don't mind them chopped up in a burrito, but that's about it.



And, no, Mr. Neon, not with Jagermeister. That'd be like having a pizza with a carafe of cough syrup... Jagermeister needs to supplement, unless it's a cigar. Blech. If Jagermeister Girls serve the pizza, I'd still go with a beer or wine.  Actually, I'd prefer wine.  A delightful chianti. A robust Merlot. A chilled Bardolino or Valpolicella.  Beer makes me too full too fast with Pizza, so I only do that if I'm having one out.  Michelobs are fine as an appetizer, although I'm pretty stuck on the Amstel Lights right now.



I love real honest to gosh Chicago style pizza, like you can get in Indy on the circle.  But too many places just make a thick tough dough and call it that.



No, not "Thick Tough Dough with extra cheese, please...

".."Faux Chicago Style".



I would go with the Canadian Bacon; problem with ham is if they cube it into little chunks instead of thin sliced.. I don't care for that. Sausage, definitely. actually, I like chicken on frozen ones better than the usual stuff. Haven't had a stuffed pizza for awhile; that could allow more variety too.  Pepperoni is purty much a constant. Mushrooms, unless they're the canned type; ech.



An anchovy is a horrific thing... I once, as a youth, ordered an anchovy pizza as it was a friday in Lent. They are a vile, oily, despicable little sea vermin of such a gagging pungency and ill repute I thought I was gonna hurl. I scraped them off, and slathered barbecue sauce on the thing and re-baked. It then tasted as barbecued slimy stinky little fishes... gagh.  I should have ordered it with cheese.  Last time I made that mistake. You guys ordering those on one, you might as well have said "Oh Ace, I've ordered a pizza with crushed eel and a pair of my socks, would you care for a slice?" to get me to try it.



Actually, though, I'm fond of caesar salad dressing and Lea & Perrins, so go figure.



I tend toward thinner crusts now too, since it harder to botch one. But a good thick one is divine. I haven't gone for many hoity-toity things, like duck.



Ow, I shouldn't be reading this out loud as I type. Nailed the faux computer desk with my dang head again. Shoot.



Ok; I gotta go get more coffee. Let me know where we're meeting and who's taking orders. Anybody gets a pitcher of Jagermeister, I'm not pitching in. I'll sip one after, maybe, but I'd just as soon stick with my normal whine.



Wine. Dang typos. Shoot. Ok; remember, "extra cheese" but not "cheese". Cheese Louise.  Ace; had a stupid scrambler for breakfast.. that now pales, in comparison.  





 

Ah, c'mon Ace, what's wrong with a little roasted eel, mango, and sea kelp pizza with pumpernickle crust? You probably don't like mustard sardines on your pizza, either. Sheesh. And another thing - barbeque sauce can fix anything, if it's strong enough. You just needed spicier sauce on those anchovies. Sometimes it helps to roast it first.



I'll have to agree with you about the cheese - it isn't a "topping", since it's already included in the package deal. Actually, I like cheeseless pizza, but many people look at you funny if you admit that. Good thing I can't see your reaction now. The heart of the pizza is the tomato sauce. If that's not abundant and top rate, you don't got a pizza.



oh, and thanks patman, for the news on the porcine origins of popular toppings. Interesting indeed.



Now as for my previous Jagermeister comment. I apologize. Let's just acknowledge I don't know the difference between Jagermeister, Bass, Schaffer, or Rio Grande Pancho Verde Chile Cerveza. Mmmmm, chile beer.

Ok, Neon.  I am looking at you funny right now.





Can you feel it?  I bet you can.



Chile Beer? Chilled beer?  Geez louise, I gotta figure there's a difference. I like hot sauce, and beer, but not in the beer... And, no, there's no BBQ sauce that would kill the Fish Whose Smell Would Not Die.



Here's an observation; we drop a couple tons of anchovies down the cave mouths in the Afghan hills, we see a couple hundred Taliban run screaming out in a matter of minutes...



I do like the verde sauces too.. they're more piquant, and aromatic, but not as hotly contested.



Ace; porcine pizza... yeah, I'd like a porkchop pizza, please.. with extra loin, thanks...  





 

Hey Ace,

yeah, I can feel the wierdo rays hitting me, I tend to get that a lot. The secret to avoiding them is to put up aluminum foil to cover the windows, so they can't get to you. Or was it so that the government can't eavesdrop on me by recording the flickering lights from my monitor and modem? (//%22http://www.reuters.com/news_article.jhtml%3Bjsessionid=YECLPQYS3RVPOCRBAE0CFEYKEEATGIWD?type=technologynews&StoryID=675406%22) I forgot.



Anyway, Scuzzy was wondering what a porcine pizza might look like, and this is the closest thing I can find so far:





You'll understand how chile beer came to exist once you realize that in New Mexico, anything can be obtained with green chiles on/in it, at least as an option. That includes pizza, flamebroiled  Whoppers, etc. Now what would be great would be a chilled chile beer. And green chiles are good for you, because they're full of Vitamin C!

Neon, I just came in here to warn you about pig knuckles on pizza because in the 'Your age' thread Scuzzy suckered me into thinking I was in this thread, but over here you guys are beaming things at each other and putting chiles in your beer. And now a picture of Ace working his way through college. Now I'm really confused.



As a general rule, never put anything on a pizza that's better smoked, and never eat pizza more than a month old.

I yearn for the old hateful flaming chat room days where someone would poast a shot of that with Scuzzy's mug superimposed so I could have a picture of him with a big white pole up his oh never mind.



actually, Ne', I am recording your keystrokes.  



I am working my way at college (Oh, hold it.. "University") not through. I'm not through with it, yet, although you wonder when they will be with me.



Keep close watch here, for Bear is now likely to poast something along the lines of SOMETHING THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING IN THIS VICINITY.  If he does, I shall yell "LOOKOUT!"

and duck or some such alarm.



And, let me add.  I still think I can get that dang math problem of Pat's right, dangit. I think.



 

Well a big thanks to the LOOKOUT, I was sure in the wrong room to chat.

Thanks to Neon also, I ran right down to the store and bought all the foil they had, was up most of the night warping, I mean wrapping the house. Phew, I don?t want any of those beams getting at me.



But what about when your just out and about without the protection of the foil.

I think I got the answer here, thanks to the good folks over at Hats of Meat. (//%22http://www.hatsofmeat.com/HatsofMeat/index.html%22)

 

 





The PORK PIE looks like it would keep them beams out of my head,

(granted there is not a lot there they could get at)





Or the Canadian Bacon with Sausage might do the trick.







Anyway what a vision, Ace riding his potbelly pig in reverse, calculator in hand.

Hey I thought the answer was 5000. Had to get out my own calculator just to make sure.

So, poast back to this same yarn, just to keep the continuity in order.











Edited by - patman on Mar 14 2002  07:50:37 AM

I shall put on "Goodbye, Pork Pie Hat" by Jeff Beck tonight to commemorate the event. Or "Pokechop Sandwich" by ZZTop. Good idea.



Those models look good enough to eat. It was mean to say stuff about me riding my pot-bellied pork bellied pig. I didn't get one for my birthday, or anything else. Thanks for reminding me. Dangit.



Ace; he has a hankerin' for the other white meat, now.



 

Thanks Bear for the alarm. It seems your warning is too late, however. You see, all of this pizza talk has spilled over to a 3 day discussion at work about what toppings we should get for lunch. We still haven't decided (man I'm hungry), but here's a peek at our current working proposal - mind you this is a compromise by our luncheon committee:

pigs knuckles on the whole pie

on the first 1/4, rhubarb

on the second 1/4, squid

on 1/3, exclusive of the first 1/4, overlapping 1/12 of the second 1/4, black-eyed peas

on the fourth 1/4, canadian striped eel

on one slice only, lemon rice stuffed cod



As you can see, these nice folks can be a little hard to please at lunchtime.



Ace, let me make one thing perfectly clear. I do not stroke any keys around here, I've gone right off that. Often, I press keys, sometimes jab at them, and occasionally sing off of them. So don't you go thinking that you are recording keystrokes, you're not recording anything, my friend.



I have already taken certain security precautions to prevent recordings of any kind. The first line of defense is my hat made of aluminum foil, and coat of pickles. As patman noted, hats of meat also work fine, but there are some maintenance issues on my end that prevent me from fully implementing that particular solution at this time. Second, is the aforementioned aluminium foil on the windows. As a last emergency line of defense, I can set the walls on fire with my army surplus flamethrower to prevent any unauthorized snooping packets into my computer room. That should, as they say, take care of that.

So. You've stopped striking your keys.



Do you still beat your dog?





Ace; man is dog's best friend.



 

When will I stop beating my dog?



I don't have to stop beating the dog at all. No. Wait.

There's no reason to stop if I don't remember starting. OK, hold on.

Dogs don't ever feel me beating them. That doesn't sound right.



Waitaminute. I don't own a dog.

I don't take care of any stray dogs either.

I haven't cared for any dogs ever, really. No. Wait.



Allright. As soon as possible. What I mean is,

I'll start not beating dogs yesterday, and finish not beating dogs today.

As soon as I can manage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oops, I just broke the exclamation point key off my keyboard.



You know what I meant. It's time for another pizza. What toppings should I get on this one?

No, you're confusing dogs with fish.  Fish don't feel it if you beat them.



That's why it's ok to eat them.



I don't know about dogfish. They're ugly enough to deserve to be beaten.



You know, if Scuzzy was here and not vacationing wherever it was he was off to, he could wear one of them pork hats and maybe his dog would play with him.



Man, I hope he doesn't come to Indiana... criminy, that I don't need.  Having to handle all the quality control stuff here, and then him in person. I don't think I could deal with that.



I'm definitely hoping Bear doesn't bop in and mistake this chain with the "you're age" chain, and say something out of place.  I don't know who'd be here to move the thing to the right room.



Shoot, even worse.. what if Pete starts in with those jokes that children don't get... man, I don't know who could sanitize the room, after.. dang.



Great. Now I'm the dang chat room king/moderator/jester/LOOKOUT!(^janitor. Criminy.



Hey, get one with cheese.  That'd be my choice.  And a Guiness or Harp, for St. Patty's day. Go Irish!  Well, not any longer, after Duke and all.. I'm glad I'm part Irish, since I hate snakes and like potatoes.  



Ace; he's doing the best he can.  That's the sad part.



 

Ace, What do you think I do here  besides greet new Poasters. Geeeeeeeeeesh!



Joanie

Ok. Okay. Ok; hold on.. I've got this..



I can handle this one. No sweat.  Lemme think.



Ok.. Alright, there's sweat.  Shoot.  Gimme a minute.  That's a tough one.  Pat's wasn't easy... I just went with "yes" like "true" figuring I had a 50-50 shot.  I don't think it'd be any better, even with the calculator.



Stupid cat.  Stupid, stupid cat.  What the heck was he thinking.  Man.



Ok; otherwise.  

"What else do you do"... except.  I was gonna go with "Cheer Stuff", but I'm thinking that's too obvious.



man, there's a lot of "e's" in that thing.  There's more E's than Bubba used to do commas and stuff.  Dang, that does not help.



Ok; I'm gonna go with... ok, not "cheese", that's too simple..  not "4100".... not "just walk across the creek".... ok... man... alright... criminy.. Okay. I'm gonna go with.. uh.. umm...







"Yes".





Yeah.  "Yes".  Ok, there you go.  Glad to have been of help.  Whew.  This chatroom moderating adminstrative run the whole dang show thingy is gonna be ok.  Yeah.  How many days are left in the week?  We counting this one as one, or does it start with Sunday?  Geez, I hope today counted.  I'm tapped.  



Ace; he's a stand up guy, unless he's at the computer.  That wouldn't be comfortable at all.  I thought Joanie was still fishing... dangit.





 

Man, Neon, I guess you don't have to worry about people dropping in for lunch where you work. Nothing I hate worse than picking pigs knuckles off pizza. I usually give those to the dog rather than beating her. She loves pizza bones, but the pig knuckles give her gas. It's fun watching her scare herself around the house.



RahRah, yeah, what's with Scuzzy putting Ace in charge? Did I miss that meeting? Sounds to me like he's not planning on coming back.



Well, as far as I'm concerned, you're in charge. I have hoops to worry about and it's hard just to type with my fingers crossed. So far I'm in the top 6% of the half million fans who picked brackets in the Yahoo Men's Tournament Pick'em. Plus, fishing season has arrived, and that means my ADOPT A FISH volunteer work has begun in earnest. Amazing how many people just abandon perfectly good fish.



So I'll be busy. It's all in your hands. Heck, Ace was having enough trouble handling the jester/LOOKOUT!(^janitor part -- the extra work would just make him cranky. Though I guess he does have all that extra time from not having any teams left to root for.



Huh, well, you guys work it out. I just picked up a three-pound bass with a bruised fin who needs a home.

Hey Bear,



My head is sore from scratching it trying to figure out what that Kitty Kat had on his mind when he left Ace in charge. He must know something we don't.



I'm going to let him do his thing and like Neon said when the Kat gets back he can pick up the pieces. Fishing is good in the desert this time of the year, that is if you can find a puddle somewhere.



RahRah

My favorite pizza is pepperoni with sausage, extra cheese, an average coating of garlic with either a coke or a corona EXTRA.<--Preferred. Mmmm, beeeeeeeeeeer. *Drools* Hehe underage drinking is the $#!7.



(http://www.geocities.com/jcsoccer12/eldiablo.html)

This is now officially the "Poast That Would Not Die."  Congrats to Neon for starting something that might even surpass the "Hi Carol Hi Joanie" previous record for a poast that stretched around the globe a couple dozen times.



I tried the link, Japonte, and got a kinda cool El Diablo sign thingy but that was it.. was there more?  My modem is slower than dirt so maybe I just shoulda given it a few more hours I mean minutes.



Hey, Joanie, don't be a sore head.  I'd pull my hair out reading some of my poasts, but, I mean, what's the point, you know?



Ace; he's a stand up guy. and a stand in for He Who Shall Not Arrive Back For A Couple Days Or So Yet; Named After His Cat" if that helps you guess.





 

Hi Aceio,



It took at least 20 minutes to reply to your message this morning and the darn thing wouldn't save and like a dummy I forgot to copy it before trying to save it. Then I started having computer related problems and that took up the entire day and I am still in the same spot, nothing is working in Outlook 2000.



I did not forget you.



Joanie

Forget who?

PIZZA

The Perfect Breakfast Food



This just in -- you probably already knew that 4 out of 5 Americans enjoy a hot delicious pizza for dinner, or a tasty slice for lunch. But did you know that there is a growing appetite for breakfast pizza? I count myself a member of the cold leftover pizza appreciation society, but now you can get nice just-for-breakfast pizzas in many select locations. If you'd like to make your own, look at Breakfast Pizza Recipe (//%22http://www.virtualcities.com/ons/ma/f/maf78011.htm%22) for a basic fresh starter pizza

 

Now japonte, we highly mature adults here at Poasters run a repectable and family-style poasting board, and cannot condone underage drinking. If however, you decide to partake in any uncondoned activity, just be sure that you don't kill any brain cells, cause they don't grow back.



My theory is that Scuzzy is taking spring break to continue his quest to try 63 pizzas and 630 beers from each of the fifty states and 13 Canadian provinces. It might be...

LOOKOUT! HEY!



I, too, as this week's guest poasttoasties general stand-in adjunct chatroom moderator administrative top banana would like to also affirm Neon's declaration as to the risks, hazards and all around danger of underage, overage, and even just-at-the-right age drinking.



You need go no further than me to see what a toll it can take. Unless you want to wind up as I, who was deficient in brain cells to start, and then imbibed too dang many beers let alone the other stuff to become what I am today.. I mean, criminy, just read the poasts.  Nobody needs that to happen to them. There, but for the grace of sour mash and hops, go you, you know?



You know, that's gonna be the downfall to the breakfast pizza movement. I'm not talking about the one after, but the one right now.  What are you gonna drink with it?  Pour a carafe of grape juice and pretend..?  Pitcher of coffee?  Big mug of milk or OJ?  Yech.



Wish I had the technical savvy to help, Joanie, with the downtime and lagtime issues.  I just turn the dang thing off and wait when it bogs down. But Scuzzy did not hire me to handle worthwhile matters, no sir. Ma'am. He appointed me to moderate.  If I owned a gun, or at least had pictures to poast of me in uniform even if not of this century, then I could match his moderating savvy. Alas, I'm gunless and uniformless. And witless; see above about the dang brain cell demise thingy.



Bear will return to his senses as soon as Oklahoma and any of the rest of the starting 8 or so Oklahoman teams are eliminated from the NCAAs.  I don't know if N. or S. Oklahoma had more teams representing this year.



Today is Spring; weather's in the normal putrid 40s with rain and overcast. The early bird gets the worm.  That would suggest Bfast Pizza may be not a bad idea after all.



Ace; you are what you drink. I am your fearless liter.







 

Good Advice Ace,



I too would like to remind all those little ones who think a drink is cool to take a good look at Ace and his missing or dead brain cells. Just think, this too could happen to you. And while your studying Ace you might also take a look at my absent minded behavior and know that didn't happen by drinking lemonade.



Joanie

I too would like to hold Ace up as an example of the perils of underage drinking, but I can't lift him. No one tells kids those destroyed cells end up settling lower down on the frame, do they.



As for my March madness, we're down to one team of each sex, but both are dang good teams. I'm hoping it will be April before my wife can launder my lucky OU tee shirt -- not that I'm superstitious or anything. And no, I don't wear it every day, just during the games.



OK is turning into a hoops mecca, I'm telling you. You probably missed it, but two men's teams from OK played in the NAIA (small college) finals this week, plus the OKC women won their fourth straight NAIA championship. Any of the three probably would have given Purdue's teams a pretty good game this year. Seriously.



Nothing better than a halftime pizza, just to stay on topic.



You may scoff, but there's not only a North and South OK, there's an East and West too, not to mention a Central, a NorthWest, a SouthEast, etc. And they're all a bunch different, really. It gets a little confusing unless you live here and can see the geography up close. We live at the northwest edge of SouthEast OK, which isn't too far from the southeast edge of Central OK, theoretically, but in reality it's a whole nuther place. Even the pizza is different. Take my word for it.

Well, I'd stand up for Bear and Joanie but it's hard enough keyboarding while sitting.  I'd take Bear's word, for it. When can I come get it?



I've done my own hard lemonade, if it's summer and we have rum. Hard enough to chip a tooth, sometimes. Although I don't normally do hard liquor, preferring it in liquid form. I had a Long Island Iced Tea at Friday's last night (I won't call it "T.G.I. Friday's" as I think that's a bit precious and way too stupidly long). It was weak, and costly. Not a good combination, although a safe one if you drink and drive as it won't affect you and you'll be too broke to buy very many.



In Indiana, there are only a couple subdistricts.  Anything south of U.S. 30 is Alabama.  In the north the borders dissapear and we become Michiana, a mystical land of no particular meaning or reference except to the TV stations as they can glom news from across state lines and lake effect snow.



The south corner is a Kentuckiana/Indicky area of further blurring and cross state insults, just as we up here insult Michiganders. Mostly because insulting Hoosiers would be too easy.



The Ohio line is easily crossable, as there are roads. I only go into Illinois for Chicago, and that traverses the Iron City Zone of rusted buildings and rusty air of a rusty hue as one passes by the spectacle and fumes of Gary and Hammond beans.  Not exactly "spring time fresh", if you get my drift.



In my locale, we are only here to serve The University of Our Lady of the Lake. Just ask them.  The students are revolting (typically) now because hard liquor is being banned from their dorms, and restrictions are being placed on them staging tailgate parties.



I suppose ND students are well enough off financially to be able to rent an Airstream or Winnebago, to have a party in the lot.  Shoot, at Purdue we had to sneak booze in.  We knew it was wrong.



As to Bear's claim that any number of Oklahoma teams could take Purdue(s): well, duh.



Hope the coach's dad's ok.  I'd hate to have brain surgery; who knows what they'd find. Although they say the brain itself doesn't feel anything.



Normally, that's the point of my drinking. And look, everybody drinks. Shoot, you'd be really dehydrated if you didn't. And I gotta figure nobody smokes. At least, not intentionally.



ace; he sees things others do, and says "Where's my other sock...?"



 

I like Coke with my pizza, but.



Thought for the week: Do I drink water, or do I drink Coke ?



WATER:



   75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.   (Likely  applies to

half the world population)



    1.. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is

often  mistaken for hunger.



   2.. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as

3%.



   3.. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for

almost  100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.



   4.. Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.



   5.. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day

could  significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of

sufferers.



    6.. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term

memory,   trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the

computer screen  or on a printed page.



    7.. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon

cancer   by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and

one is 50%  less likely to develop bladder cancer.



    Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?





   COKE:



   1.. In many states in the USA the highway patrol carries two gallons

of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car

accident.



   2.. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone

in two days.



   3.. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl

and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric

acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.



   4.. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with

a rumpled-up piece of aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.



   5.. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of

Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.



    6.. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to

the rusted bolt for several minutes.



   7.. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking

pan,wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the

ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the

Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.



   8.. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load

of  greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The

Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze

from your windshield.



    For Your Info



   1.. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8.

It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.  [Phosphoric acid also leaches

calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in

osteoporosis.]



   2.. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck

must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly

corrosive materials. The distributors of Coke have been using it to

clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!



    Now the question is, would you like a glass of water or Coke?







Keith

That's it, Ace. You can use Coke in place of B-B-Q sauce to not only cover the taste, but obliterate any residue. Interesting...but then again, when are poasts from y'all not!







 

Ok, okay. You're right. You've convinced me.



Sure, on a pizza to cover up the stinking slimy smelly fish-whose-stench-would-not-die anchovy remains I'd go with Coke.



Otherwise, I'll have a Pepsi.  You're right.



Well, or a beer. Or even wine. It's already been proven to have many healthful benefits. It's my understanding that if a little is good then a lot must be really good.



Ace; we have frozen water covering the ground outside, and I do not think that constitutes "watering the yard" or "spring flowers."  That, too, stinks.



 

In the old days before all the California-nouveau-cuisine-put-tofu-and-pineapple-on-your-pizza, if you wanted pizza from a real Italian eatery in New York, you could get plain, or sausage, or anchovy toppings. That was about it. Yes, pepperoni came later.



At Ace's suggestion, I decided to order an anchovy pizza last weekend. Let me tell you, it was tasty. The topping was flaky and succulent, the thin crust was just the right crispiness, and the acidity of the tomato sauce balanced the more alkaline anchovies quite nicely. Nothing like a pH balanced pizza, and the enjoyment was furthered by basketball wins by IU and UMd. Rah.



Number of pizzas completed last week:1

Well, just try to get a Chicago style pizza in NY...



Ok; sure. Anchovy pizza is "tasty."  A fresh bass pulled from a lake is "tasty."  Gasoline is "tasty."  



The large fungus that grows on the tulip tree is apparently "tasty", from the reactions of the squirrels.  If I had to choose between it, and an anchovy, I'd go with the alien spore.



If I had to choose between an anchovy and watching IU, I'd rather chug the gasoline.  Or a squirrel.



Criminy.

Ace; and may I add: criminy.



 

Pizza?  I'll take it straight up, just cheese, plenty of cheese.  And it has to be a New York pizza.  There are foods outside of New York that people call pizza, but they're not.  I had something called pizza in Kentucky once; it was good, but it wasn't pizza.  Domino's, Little Caesar's Pizza Hut, etc. also are NOT pizza.



Yes, I AM a pizza snob (coffee snob, too, but that's another thread...).



- js





 

I've tried pizza straight up, but the stupid slices just tend to fall over and make a mess if they miss the plate.  

The just cheese/plenty of cheese thing sounds ok, especially to Wallace, but I'm thinking I'd still like to have some crust and tomato sauce with it, too.



ace; I'd agree with the generally tasteless depiction of franchise pizzerias. I once got pineapple on an all-meat supposedly pizza from Dominos... I actually had to deliver the ($#@* thing back to them, to prove it was wrong.  That was the last time I dealt with them.  We've got an "East of Chicago" pizza place near us now, which actually doesn't do a particularly good Chicago style but the thin crust is tasty.



 

Ace, the trick to eating pizza "straight up" is for the consumptor to be horizontal, i.e., as though you're on the couch, lying on your side, watching the tube.  After you're in this position, simply move the coffee table right up next to the couch, slide the plate (or box) with the pizza into the proximity of your mouth, and bingo, pizza straight up.



Mind you, I've never eaten pizza this way.  But I'm told that there are those that would, or do...



- js



 

Oh, that worked wonderfully.



Dangit.



I don't know; maybe it was the sequence. That's what they say about some gowns.



I tried the horizontal-hold thingy; I was doing ok, holding the hot gooey slice over the plate over the coffee table and then I remembered about having to move the coffee table over to the couch well that's all well and good but then the slice slipped and I tried to reach under it with the other hand with the plate while trying to see if I could hook my shoe under the table so's to pull it closer and I slipped off the stupid couch and cracked my head on the stupid coffee table and fell on the floor at which point the slice landed on my forehead and yes still hot so I'm like knocked senseless yet still very aware of my surroundings particularly hot cheese on my face at which point I screamed and scared the dog.





The dog down the street.  I don't own one, myself.



And, look, I'm not saying the pizza wouldn't work horizontally since, after that, I didn't want to go through with the experiment, ok?  But criminy, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't try the beer the same way.  I mean, I had no success with that, either.  Might as well own a dog if I'm going to have puddles in the living room, anyway.



Wish it would have had anchovies.  Then I wouldn't have gone near it, and the whole thing wouldn't have happened.  Sigh.  "Heuuuughh".



You know, I was just thinking.  If Cy Young had been named phonetically he woulda been Hugh Young.  Huh.



And look; everybody

LOOKOUT!! ADD TO THIS POAST!!@#! JOANIE AND CAROL ARE GOIN' AT IT AND TRYING TO BEAT THE CHAIN RECORD AND WE CAN'T HAVE THAT OK? oKAY? oKIE? alright?



Ok. Good. Hey... why do I have a red triangle on my forehead..?



Oh; hold it.  That's right.  Dang.



 

Aceio, your in the Post Office awful early today. Did school let out early cuz its Easter week-end?.



Good Luck Easter Egg hunting Sunday.



Joanie

I went to the dairy case at the grocery for the egg hunt...



I made out like a bandit.





 

What is your experience with those pizza crusts you buy in the store, and make your own pizza? Are these good tasting? I was thinking of making a special Easter pizza, with perhaps ham crosses and sliced hard-boiled eggs. Roast lamb might be an interesting topping, too, since I've never had that on pizza. What sort of toppings do ya'll recommend? Also, send in your recipes for upside-down pizza. There appears to be several here with experience making those.



Today's special pizza will have a mozzarella background with cherry tomato slices on top, arranged in the traditional IU logo. Makes me hungry just thinking about it.



Speaking of hungary, in Hungary the highest card (ace) in card games is called "pig" (diszno), and the pig is a popular symbol of good luck. Just thought you might appreciate that on this Easter eve.

I stopped by the petting zoo to check it out.  



You know, as a teenager, I wish there would've been a heavy petting zoo... Ok, otherwise, I asked a lamb if he thought it would be "interesting" if he were served on a pizza.  He didn't think so.



Also; mentioned the good luck thing to a pig there. Also the notion of ham crosses.  He wasn't seeing the "good" part, either.  As a collector of pig statuary I do concur that pigs are both interesting, and tasteful. Tasty, too.



I got a Tombstone cheese pizza for last night, since I was dining alone. Criminy, now I know why they're named that. Bleah.



Ace; he's the other other white meat.



 

I am only poasting so as to breathe life into this chain commonly known as

The Poast That Would Not Die

or

"something Neon started on the way to the store."



The other day we're all gathered for the holiday and my maroon sister in law whom a few weeks back declared that "Potatoes aren't vegetables.. they're a starch." decided to once again plunge into the netherworld of food group stupidity and state

"Tomatoes are fruit."



Apparently because they have seeds. It seemed obvious to me that a tomato is a vegetable (criminy, they're all over V8) so I looked it up and sent her the word.  Come to find out the tomato is the Only Legally Recognized Vegetable. Ha.

Yes, they fit the botanist's definition of fruit, but so would human beings. Based primarily on usage, not science, they fit the bill as a true vegetable.



I was afraid that she was right (although not much chance, the more she talks) and that would mean most pizzas have fruit on them and I would be having to swear off them all, not just the ones with anchovies.  Heck, President Reagan declared catsup (ketchup) a vegetable, and that's tomatoes, so you know he knew.



Next family get together, I'm going to hold a vote. Pretty sure we can declare my sister in law a vegetable. She fits the usage definition; appears with the main course, is bland, and resembles one.



Ace; she and her husband and daughter also wanted to argue that peanuts are "meat" since they're in that food group... Huh; maybe I'll go hunting sometime after all; go kill a legume or pod of something.



Criminy.

their heads are meat.







 

Gee Ace, you have answered your own poast again. And I say why not? If ever there was a poast that deserved to be answered, it could be this one. OK, actually, I just say "why not?" a lot. Before the TURTLE NATION ranting begins, let me tell you about my last pizza.



No, it was not a pizza with terrapin and corn niblet toppings - that would be gauche. Or just gross. There was no lamb on it, either, on account of those lambs are just way too negative. Sheesh, practically before I finish my question, the first thing they usually say is, "naaaa". It was ham and mushroom, and went very well with the NCAA Super Ball. Uh, the championship. The big dance. The end of the Madness. The Final Two.



Some of you have surmised that I am an alumnus of both IU and UMd, so this match was of particular interest and enjoyment for me. It was strange watching the guys from the two teams I watched all season playing each other. Apparently they thought the same, because it was a rather sloppy game. The two semifinals had better action.



Lets not forget the riots. In College Park and Bloomington, fans decided to riot. This seems to be a regular occurance at UMd, it's more of a sport, really, to see how many things you can get away with setting on fire. One point for a frat house plastic address number, 500 points for a police car, and so on. The subdued yet happy riots in Bloomington were different. It was of a more spontaneous nature, due to the unexpected good fortune and accomplishments of this team. And lets face it, when you feel bitter about some non-calls, you just have to taste tear gas to make yourself forget.



Ace, you can argue all you want about whether potatoes are fruit or whether it's To-MAY-To or To-MAH-To or whether peanuts on pizza is a well-balanced meal. Just let it go. Certain elements will always want to argue the point, and before you know it, a riot will break out. If we can get through a family meal without tear gas and SWAT teams, then surely we are making progress, yes?

Ace and Neon,



Absolutely "YES".



Sorry about being neglectful but Earthlink has been upgrading their servers according to the techs anyway, and I can't get connected half the day or night. I am disgusted with DSL and did much better with my regular ISP. I am paying 50.00 a month for something I can't use and that does not make any sense to me.



According to their Newsletter Earthlink has opened up in Texas and I don't understand how they can be successful their when they can't take care of business here.



I would not recommend Earthlink  DSL to anybody at this time in Texas or any where else.



Joanie

Joanie, hey don't worrry - I don't think you're neglectful. Heck, you answered YES already, and I don't even know what the question was yet. That's not bad service at all. Unless you're referring to my no-tear-gas-at-the-dinner-table-semi-rhetorical question in the last poast. Then I do know what you mean. meant. mint.



Speaking of bad service, sorry to hear about your current DSL dilemma. Did you try bribing the tech with a pizza? Sometimes that works for me.



Believe it or not, Verizon called me about 3 weeks ago to see if I wanted DSL. This was 6 months after I called to order it, and they told me it was not available here. That was after the salesdude told me that DSL was definately available here, and people were already using it. I'm confused and sticking with cable for now.



Shhhhh. Be vweree vweree quiet. Ace is hunting legoomes.

Hey Neon



Yipee!! I am back online but for how long who knows. Can't remember the question myself so it must not have been too important.



Did I ever tell you about the two incidents I had with Verizon. On two occasions I did fill out an online application for DSL. Once they were offering a free modem and a free video camera. They were supposed to send me an agreement form via my e-mail with-in the week and it never arrived. I waited around three months for my package of goodies and it never arrived. Then I get another call to see if I was interested in Verizon DSL and I told them my sad story and was asked if I wanted to sign up again and I said yes. Three months go by again and I never heard a word from them. Then I heard from Eartlink and I jumped on board and that only took two months or more but the free modem did arrive within ten days, I just could not use it because the phone lines had to be conditioned and that took at least another month.



I have had DSL for around three months now and I am still unable to use it half the time.  It is great when it works as it should but that does not happen often enough. The tech told me they should be through upgrading the server in about a week but then he wasn't sure  that was the problem.



Next time I will check to see if the tech likes pizza, that might do the trick.



Joanie

Well, geez louise, of course I answer my own poasts. Why not?

Criminy, by the time I get back to see you posed a question you've already gone and answered it and taken the dang topic off somewheres else into a broadpants debate or Deluxe-Super Large internet connection that isn't.  You know, dialing up takes awhile, so maybe it'd just be the polite thing to do to wait a couple days for me to figure out what's going on and find the right room, let alone poast.



dangit, I was gonna guess ham and mushroom, too



Man, Neon, pretty convenient to find yourself a graduate of both, huh. I'm going to a wedding this weekend; maybe I'll say "Oh, I'm with the families of both the bride and groom.  I shall sit in the center aisle."



Bad enough I'm a grad of Purdue and IU.  Just to keep my sanity I dismiss the IU side. Banish it right outta the house. Who needs that sort of trouble.



I do like that "Super Ball" entitlement. I like the sound of that. When I get a chance I'll go over and steal the new gif thingy; thanks.



You all can plead for peace after ballgames and neutrality on vegetables, but I'll tell ya, when the food fights break out you better take a side. I'm going with the vegetables, not the fruits. And as a carnivore, I take it personally when somebody says a legume tastes like chicken. Shoot, you might as well just stick with fish because they don't have feelings.  Or fish sticks. Usually when you try to warm it back up in a pan.



I still got just the normal Earthlink earthlink. It works; I suppose that's a good as it gets.  I wish I could afford one of those high-speed expensive linkages that doesn't, or a new computer that can't tell its OS from a USB hole in the ground, but I'm stuck with this pitiful pooling of parts that work. Dangit.



ace; he wants what you have.





 

I went out for a pizza the other day and ended up getting the Caesar Salad Pizza. Just the right amount of anchovies. Reminded me of a Taco Pizza I had once long ago, well except they used Romaine instead of Iceberg.



Oh, and for that tomato thing;



Botanically speaking, the tomato you eat is a fruit. So is a watermelon, green pepper, eggplant, cucumber, and squash. A "fruit" is any fleshy material covering a seed or seeds.



 Horticulturally speaking, the tomato is a vegetable plant. The plant is an annual and nonwoody. Most fruits, from a horticulture perspective, are grown on a woody plant (apples, cherries, raspberries, oranges) with the exception of strawberries.



In 1893, the United States Supreme Court ruled the tomato was a "vegetable" and therefore subject to import taxes. The suit was brought by a consortium of growers who wanted it declared a vegetable to protect U.S. crop development and prices. Fruits, at that time, were not subjected to import taxes and foreign countries could flood the market with lower priced produce. (A hundred years really hasn't changed anything.)



1993-dr



Copyright 1995 by the Board of Trustees of the University of Illinois









 

CALL TO ARMS! CALL TWO ARMS! No, not the drummer from Def Leppard but the rest of you GET IN HERE! THE POAST THAT CAN NOT DIE NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT!



Joanie and Carol are at it again!

We gotta resuscitate this thing rescusitate shoot breathe life back in this thing they're catching up...



Man, I know Pat nearly killed it by repeating what I'd already said about tomatoes being street legal and all by throwing in that dull quote from some old world book online or something, although I didn't know about the fruit/veggie tax embargo, but honestly, after I say "botanist" I pretty much tuned out anyway...



So quick! Somebody say something about Pizza!  Or remind the IU fans they didn't win the title!  Or congratulate the U of I fans for stepping up for vegetables everywhere!  



Ok! Somebody go find Scuzzy! What the heck does he get, a two month vacation or a sabbatical? Grab Bear off his tractor from his farm! Get Pat off the beach in Michigan! Tell Neon to quit making up new art work and get in here! And puhleeze, somebody grab Joanie outta the shark infested waters of her fishing hole out west and get this thing going again! C'mon!



Are you with me?!



Well, that probably wasn't the best thing to say..  huh.



Ok; here goes; I'll take the lead: I had a Pizza last night! It was a fairly thin crust! Sausage, Ham, Pepperoni! Delivered! It was good!  There.



Alright. Now one of you take it. I'm worn out.  Cheese brulee.



Ace; when the box is opened, he steps up to the plate.







 

OK OK!! I think I dried off enough to sit at the keyboard for a minute or so.



Funny you should mention pizza again since that is what dinner was all about last night. It was plain pepperoni and cheese that I took out of the freezer, does that count? And to make this even more interesting I had a slice for breakfast.



I wonder what pizza with a shark topping would taste like. We better let Carol play around with that one since she has access to the ocean and all I have to play in is my dogs bowl of water.



Joanie

Okiey dokey - I wonder if they say that in Oklahoma. Last week, I rented one of everyone's favorite box on wheels, delivered hot and fast - that's right, a Dodge Neon (//%22http://www.geocities.com/jakem_12345/neon02/neon02.gif%22).



The girl at the rental counter seemed pretty saucy. However, let me share another slice of the driving experience: from the doughy steering response, to the cheesy quality of the upholstery and paint, to the oil thrown on the windshield from the speeding delivery trucks as they passed me, the car itself was no jalepeno. The quality of this ride makes it no suprise they say that like sausages, the making of a Neon is better unseen. Anyway, all of this got me thinking about making another pizza.



As I dialed the radio to a pleasing Hertz frequency, it occurred that pizza is a Thrifty meal for the Budget and Dollar conscious, and I know if We Try Harder, it can be the #1 food Enterprise in our collective National palette.

And mine was a Plymouth, which is, regrettably, even worse.



The Neon (no, not him) is the Anchovy of the sea of motor vehicles. Mine was sold by a slimy dealership, it stunk, and no amount of oil would keep it from squeaking.  The brakes squealed, the chassis squeaked, it was an abysmal little car.



If it were in a lake, it would be a Crappie.



How much do they pay you to take one of those, instead of a real car?



I shall add nothing to this chain about pizzas per se, today. There is more to life than basketball, and pizza, and farm machinery.  There is also the pursuit of the Wild Turkey and other distilled spirits after I shake this lousy cough and get healthy. Not now, though; it'd make me gag.  I'm glad to see life is breathed (Berke) back into this chain, to keep the lead over the "Hey girlfriend" chain and keep America free. Well, at least relatively inexpensive. Even if Neon had to mention Neons. At least is wasn't something about Pandas. Nobody needs that.



ace; I'm going to watch the rest of the Yngwie concert DVD I got downstairs. I'll tell ya, the Pillsbury Doughboy isn't dead... shouldn't keep wearing the leather tights, though, that's for sure.. talk about Heavy Metal.







 

Everything but the smelly fish...naturaly



Where does it all end?

Well, I finally did it. Before, I said it was wrong. I never thought it would come to this. It was risky. I was unsure. It seemed a tad strange. The sensation was- well, indescribable at first.



Yes that's right, I finally ordered a PIZZA with POULTRY! (Insert ominous musical note here). What may be even more incredible, or perhaps one of the first hundred signs that I am going mad, is that I actually liked it. (Insert several ominous musical notes here).



The specifics: Schlotzsky?s Deli (//%22http://cooldeli.com/%22) has a smoked turkey and jalapeno pizza offering, so I tried it. It is really good, although it is really more like an open-face sandwich than it is a pizza. For example, there is no tomato sauce, they use sliced tomato. Also, the "crust" is merely their regular sandwich bun, toasted. So it's sort of a hybrid sandwich pizza.



Hey Ace, it must be CrappieThon time pretty soon. Are you participating this year? Maybe you'll catch a few anchovies as a bonus?



Where does it all end? Right back at the beginning again. It has happened before, it will happen again. Time is a cycle. Everyone knows that.

We had a Schlotsky's deli but it closed. Never did go there. I actually like the frozen chicken DiGiorno pizzas. Well, the whole thing's frozen, not just the chicken.



Sounds like you did something you knew was wrong. That would be due to my influence on those with naughty weaknesses or some such. Making you eat chicken and who knows what else. Probably make you say "whole" when you mean "hole".  Other stuff, too.  



If time is a cycle, and there's night and day, then it'd be a bi-cycle.



Ace; how come Pizzaman hasn't been in here?  Criminy, you'd think it was obvious. Must be because it's the poast that will not end.







 

It seems like someone that registers with the handle PizzaMan might want to poast in the pizza poast, but perhaps he is just biding time. You know, time is more than just a cycle, more than a bi-cycle. It is really cosmic.



After all, the universe will re-collapse eventually, and as it gets smaller, it will get more and more lumpy and irregular, and disorder will increase. (//%22http://www.hawking.org.uk/lectures/bot.html%22) Just like a pizza! If time starts over at that time, then PizzaMan can be the first to poast here. Huh.



By the way, congratulations to Ace on becoming a Master Poaster ! I think that means you get your own Genie. Jeannie. Jordache jeans.



I'm not calling him Master uh-uh, no way. How many silly poasts until he's Emperor?





Edited by - Neon on Apr 17 2002  08:40:45 AM

I'm sorry to say, I didn't even stop to count the stars. Or smell the roses. Well, actually, we don't have any roses to smell. A couple daffodils, and the first tulips today.  I gotta check that out.



I like the "Master" entitlement.  I'd tell people with Ph.D.s that a Masters is preferable.



If you get your doctorate, you're referred to as "Doctor."  But with a Masters you'd have to call me "Master"....



Works for me.  I've got the Bachelors too, but my wife won't let me use it.



In case there really aren't that many stars, after I check, I can always add my own.  I'm self sufficient that way. Autonomous.  I am an Automobile.



Ace; He's the Master Jester.  That's a claim to fame, huh.







 

Wow, that was some article. Maybe my eyes are getting bad, but all of a sudden everything started to get red and I swear my monitor was shifting. Now all that?s left is a big Black Hole.

When will it all end?? Wait maybe this is just the beginning.

Could I be having a close encounter of the third kind? Is there a vortex on my desk?

Perhaps it?s just a brief history of time. Wait what was that, a big bang? I feel my universe expanding.



No here?s the problem. There is a wormhole in my pizza.



I think I ate the little bugger.







 

Ok, sure, that makes sense.



I read the thing about cosmetology proving that the universe didn't exist, and then it did, and then people back then wrote down when it happened.



And that static causes most of the common hair problems, and that wormholes can lead you to worms.



I remember putting the electric rod in the ground after a rainstorm, and catching the crawlers as they surfaced.  I'll tell ya, some of them were huge.



And that you can wind up way the heck far away if you travel down one of them.  Sure, that makes sense.



And a black hole is only known by what isn't there... I mean, that's like seeking intelligence in coworkers. You can tell they're there, by the lack of any.



You combine pizza with beer, that whole big bang thing seems pretty reasonable.  I'll tell ya, this is the poast that won't die for a reason. It's the perfect poast food; grain, vegetables (well, fruit if you're my maroon sister in law), cheese, meat... a balanced meal, in a pie.  

Add a nice cabernet, and better that than a nice MD2020, and I think you've found Nirvana.



But not Hole.  Or Whole.  Either.  Kurt had the talent in that family.



Ace; In Michiana, guns don't kill people. Ovens do.



 

A very disturbing circumstance that I think everyone in the world who eats pizza should be aware of:



It looked just like every other pizza...sitting up there on the buffet counter next to a pepperoni and what looked like a veggie pizza.  By the time the waitress finally found us a seat, the buffet had pretty much cleared with the exception of this one pizza.  (which should have been my first clue)  I took a slice...it looked really good.  It had plenty of cheese that looked like it would just melt in your mouth...there were pepperoni and mushrooms on it....perfect!  I took this piece of pizza back to my seat the entire time thinking about how good it was going to be and how it would satisfy my hunger.  As I lifted the piece of pizza to my mouth, the aroma of the cheese I was about to eat made my stomach growl one last time.  Then it happened...the worst possible thing that could ever happen to an innocent pizza-eater.  In the place of what should have been tomato sauce was...you better brace yourself...I mean it, if you're not sitting you might get a concusion or something hitting the desk on the way down......it was.....really discusting....very thick......MUSTARD!!



You'll be glad to know that this experience hasn't turned me off of pizza completely, I am just much more cautious than I used to be!

Hi, little Chick, I'm Ace the vivacious yet bubbly adorable Asian-Anglo-American chick. Right.



You know, that was grosser than one of Bubba's unedited poasts but still I could see a value in slathering mustard on a pizza; better chance to hide the slime and stench of any stray anchovies.



Otherwise, I'm pleased to see Neon'sPOAST THAT WOULD NOT DIEstill cuts the mustard. Better than the cheese. Heck, the cheese stands alone, usually. For a reason.



Ace; he's a gourmand, more than a gourmet.





 

Trying out new and exciting pizza toppings and various combinations thereof is part of the joy of pizza. My educated guess is that this mustard pizza was simply missing a crucial topping ingredient, sardines. Sardines of course are meant to be eaten from a square tin, where they are found packed together like sardines, slathered in mustard. This is their natural habitat. Since they are related to the anchovy, and anchovies belong on pizza, I can see how this sort of transmogrification could occur. You might even consider this a derivative, or mutated pizza. A rare find, and it's great to see this sort of experimentation going on. This could really open whole new vistas to the pizza kingdom. Yes indeed.

Criminy. I would need to open up a whole new vista to the back yard, so as to hurl.



Next you people will say "Oh, and also, Pickled Herring is a delightful topping, particularly if sprinkled with a Worcestershire sauce and a dab of Tabasco. Indeed."



Shoot, I'd rather I got pickled than the dang herring, dangit. That's why I get marinated before I cook out.



Ace; Major Tom lived in a tin can.







 

How delinquent of me, I forgot to mention that I quite enjoyed another pizza with anchovies last week. OK, so nobody seemed to enjoy me quite so much just after that, but it was worth it.



And now for your viewing pleasure and to satisfy your intellectual curiosity, I present The Loneliest Anchovy by C.S.Dweck (//%22http://www.poetryzone.ndirect.co.uk/fishresult.htm%22)

The Loneliest Anchovy by C.S Dweck



He pulled out all the garden weeds,

And planted rows of pizza seeds.

A pizza grew in round and nice,

Dripping sauce from every slice.

They ate each slice, and loved them all:

sausage, pepper and meatball.

One slice left was heard to moan,

"Poor anchovy stands alone.

No one wants me on their dishy.

Just because I'm topped with fishy.

Take a bite, I'm nice, and squishy!!!"

Ahh, the Pizza Poast is alive again. Beguiling little poem there too.



I had Pizza for dinner tonight made it on Pita bread. Well two I was pretty hungry. Pita bread makes a pretty good crust for a quick no-fuss dinner. Through on a little sauce and cheese add a few favorite toppings and dinner in 10 minutes.



Anyway, what a yucky spring this has been. Didn?t even make it out of the 50s today and more rain. This cool season grass we grow up here in Michiana just grows and grows in this kind of weather though. I?m telling you if you don?t get out the mower every 4 days by the 5 day you can?t hardly even push it through the lawn.



It?s been real hard on the fruit growers too. 90% of the grapes are gone. Hit the cherries and peaches hard too. So far the apples seem to be doing ok.

I know, you might think this has very little to do with pizza, but I?m worried there will be no desert pizza at harvest time.





 

Dessert pizza??? Desert Pizza???@ Dezert? Huh?



Man, where's Scuzzy when we need someone who can spell better than him.



I was able to push the mower through the Michianayard, after our return. Actually would push easier if it wasn't on.  



As a child, I would enjoy the occasional

Bun & Mustard.



A hamburger bun, slathered with mustard. That's it. Bitey, tart, and peculiar. As was I.



But still, I'm not seeing it on a pizza. As far as the quaint yet beguiling verse on Antchovies; no.  Criminy, what's next, a tome to the greasy grime of a Panda's fur?



I am sorry there will be a dearth of Michigan wine. Thank goodness for California. And Italy. And France. And Australia.  Maybe the Indiana wine crop will supplant it.  Yeah, that'd be worth waiting for. If the Kentucky wine crop falls through...



Can't wait for the Hoosier Pineapple crop to come to fruition. Along with our local Avocados. Avocadoes.



Ace; the pizza poast lives on, in perpetuity. Unless there's an early frost, Jack.



 

Since many of my fellow poasters enjoy pizza, I thought you might take an interest in the following. If you have access to the cableTV channel Food Network (not me , then don't miss Unwrapped Monday at 9PM EDT. The topic will be Pizza in America, from NY to Chicago to California. If you catch it, let me know how good it was.

Why do I often get the feeling that Ace's font types are in random mode? Is that QWERTY automated?

LOOKOUT! FALSE ACCUSATIONS FLYING!*^$ ACE'S POASTAL FONTS SAID TO BE RANDOM; ACE ANSWERS WITH PALINDROMIC "HUH"



Well, no, they're not, actually. Nothing is random in the universe. We're not dealing with Chaos Theory here, with Newman absconding with the dinosaur eggs while getting his in the eye of the hurricane.



Typically, I poast in Comic Sans, being the Jester.



If it's poetic, or in the words of the prophet Notredamus, I'll go with script.



If I'm lazy or in a rush I'll go with the default.



There are others, but I don't know what.



and now, back to the pizza poast. It's our glimpse of eternity.



Ace; Comical. Urbane. Everything you'd want in a Jester.



 

It's a bit slow in the forum today, so just though I'd ask what everyone's favorite pizza is. Pizza is sort of the unofficial food of the 'all day and night computer user', the student, the hacker, the 'big hungry family in a hurry', and probably many Q owners and Poasters. Thus, I think it's a somewhat computer related question.



My co-worker thinks all vegetables is just dreamy, but I prefer ham and spinach.

Phew, a moment of shear panic, I couldn?t find the pizza poast.

It?s here, it is alive,????Everything is A-OK.

 8)

Hallelujah brutha!
The pizza poast has been saved!

Glad to be of service  ;D

Neon,

We need a Poaster's Pizza Special for opening day with all kinds of toppings and stuff. Bet you could come up with a real good one.

Joanie

Joanie, I decided to follow up on your most excellent idea. This afternoon I designed and made what may be the first ever Poasters pizza! It tastes good! Photos will follow after the film roll gets developed.

Neon, I just can't wait to see what kind of Pizza you come up with and I bet Ace, Pat and Bubba are sitting on pins and needles waiting.  Dave, Carol,  Jedi and John are probably salavating in anticipation as well as all the other Poasters that I forgot or don't know too well as yet.

And Karen, Gracie and Pete and Keith and poast 78 and query. I know I am forgetting a bunch of guys. How could I forget the Scuzzy Kat and our lost Andreas.

Hope those pics come in soon. Do you have a digital camera?

Joanie

Let me just say that it's one of the more unusual pizzas that I have made. Don't worry about remembering everyone's name - there will be plenty of slices for all!

The photos will be at least a few days, because it's in the middle of the roll. It's a conventional analog 35mm camera, and I'm taking pictures of a system upgrade, so maybe it won't be too long before I get the film developed.

 ::) What the heck is the dang long pizza poast doing here. Criminy, that thing glommed up the whole old room. Now there's no room at the table for anything else.

Only reason it's so dang long is that people poast to it. If nobody'd poast to it, it wouldn't be so dang long or dang eternal, dangit.

I, for one, am not going to poast to it. Enough. Criminy, get a sandwich or something different for a change. Or a beer. Heck, even a root beer; nothing wrong with those.

Ace; I didn't know we could bring carry-on baggage. Heck, I woulda grabbed some stolen picture things if I'd have known that.

Good idea Ace.
I think I?ll get a pizza burger for lunch tomorrow and sure a root beer sounds good too.

OK, the pictures of the first Poasters Pizza are back! Now, before you all start sniggling and heckling, please be aware that I am not an artist. So, you may have to use your imagination to see the picture. Ace, it's just like the Rohrshack(sp?) test with ink blots, only it's pizza.

The topping ingredients are tomatos, green onions, mushrooms, anchovies, and turkey ham. Or ham turkey, I forget. The sauce is a simple tomato puree with some oregano. On top of that is Kroger pizza cheese, which is a blend of mozzarella, romano, and at least 2 others.
(http://neon.home.texas.net/Poasters/images/pizzabefore.png)
As for the taste, it was actually pretty good. At least, it was better tasting than I thought I could make at home. After baking, the 'artwork' was a bit burned.
(http://neon.home.texas.net/Poasters/images/pizzaafter.png)

I just can?t wait to see that available in the freezer case of my local grocer.  :D

Well, now I'm hungry, and there's no pizza to found around here until noon. Dang it. Maybe I can ask one of our chefs to do a special Poasters pizza.

Hey, I really like the image of Joanie. Nice work.

That's neat.  :)

My Dear Neon,

That is just too, too Cool. What a beautiful pizza you made for us Poasters. You are very talented and creative,  who else would have thought to make a pizza as unique as that.

RahRah looks great with the red and white  PomPoms cheering the pizza on.  

Thank You  for your time and effort. We will all enjoy that pizza to the fullest. Of course Ace might be offended since there is no beer bottle visible, not that I could see anyway, it may have rolled off the top when you weren't looking.

Again, many thanks.

Joanie

woo hoo! FREE pizza for me, because I am such a great customer. My local pizza shop has rewarded me with a free pizza, and every 11th pizza hereafter shall also be free. Yay!

As I am the experimental type (in fact, someone once remarked that I put the mental in experimental, but that's another story), this pizza was a test pizza.

Purpose: I wanted to determine the difference between sausage and italian sausage, so the pizza had each topping on one half of the pie.

Results: I cannot taste a difference between sausage and italian sausage. The whole thing tasted and looked the same.

Conclusion: There are several possibilities. One is that sausage and italian sausage are indeed the same. Another is that the shop ran out of one or the other topping, and forgot to mention it to me. Another possibility is that the subtle difference between these sausage types is below the sensitivity threshold of my taste buds' detection limits. Additional experiments may be required to obtain the requisite amount of data for a complete solution.

Hey Neon,

I bet there is not a live pizza anywhere on the face of this earth that could compete with the pizza you made for us.
Everything else is simply dog meat.

Ace will tell you all about it, you'll see or my name isn't rahrah.

Joanie

Dogmeat beats Anchovies any day of the week.  I tell ya, if I do become a dog, I'm going with kibble waaaay before anchovy.

And look, her name isn't "rahrah", it's Joanie.  You can look it up.

At Pizza Hut you can get sausage, pork sausage, Italian sausage. It's like 3 toppings of the same thing.  Probably same with beef in England; beef, mad cow beef, E-Coli beef...  and chicken.

I tried to taste the "pizza you made for us."  Then I got the windex out and cleaned the screen.  G=ross.

I like cajun food, too, but a blackened pizza..?  I dunno.

Maybe some newbie will come in and say "well, I wanted a serious answer to my serious question about what should be on a serious adult pizza, and not some smart___ comment from Scuzzy. "  And then, I'd say, well: "if every 11th pizza is free, what if on the 10th one you get two?  Then, is it for the 12th one, or half of the 10th? Or do you start the count over? "

I don't trust free stuff, since it isn't lunch by definition.  The difference between sausage and Italian sausage is that there isn't Italian sausage at a Polish wedding.  Kielbasa isn't Italian.  

Ace: I put the "peri" in "experimental"

mmmkay, this is not Korea, and we will not be making any dogmeat pizzas. Blecch. However, Ace you can make the first Alpo pizza, if you like. Just be sure that it makes its own gravy in your mouth.

As for the blackened state of the Poasters pizza, it was only slighly singed, and still tasted good. No need for panic. Nor a fire extinguisher. I sent Ace a sample in a plain brown envelope. Did you get it, Ace?

QuoteAce: I put the "peri" in "experimental"

Well that's good = I heard that you put the "wink" into periwinkle, too.  ;)

Hey Neon,

Have you ever know a village idiot to have so much to say with so much personality?

Ace is a true Idiot in every sense of the word and we don't ever want anybody to take that away from him. He lives up to his name and he never lets us down, only up.

Joanie

Don't forget:

"It takes a whole village to raise a village idiot!"

No, I didn't get it Neon.  But heck, I don't get a lot of things.

Otherwise, as to being a real idiot and not just your imaginary one, fine.  You can all take credit, as villagers.  Get you guys some burning torches and pitchforks and you'd be quite a crowd to hang with.

I'm thinking of getting a dog, and calling him "Boy."  Figure that'd be easy for calling him and praising.

acE; maybe it was periscope.  Whatever.

Hi Ya Dave,

We're a pretty good size village, don't you think? There are enough of us to handle one little Idiot Jester Boy and if we all stick together we'll have a villagers chance of making something very unique out of our Jester. It's going to take teamwork but we're good at that. Pat and Neon could easily develope a plan of action for all of us to follow.

What do you think.

Joanie

Yes, I think you should all formulate a plan of action to follow.  Please, do gather your pitchforks and brickbats and torches and go follow a plan of action.  

Do gather to chase your "little idiot Jester Boy" back to his dungeon.  

Criminy sakes.  You people need a plan of action like this chatroom needs somebody bopping in complaining that the free service wasn't timely or free enough, and that humour has no place in the joke room.  Say, if I have a question about laundry, should I poast it in the "software" forum or the "laptop" forum in case it might be a napkin I'm washing?

Little idiot Jester boy... that's rich.  You are way out of line on that one.

I'm not little.  

Dangit.  

Ace; I didn't come here to be insulted.  I came here to insult, geez Louise.
(http://files.triton.net/pattrucks/poasters/jesterblk.gif)

Jester Boy.

You do too come here to be insulted and you love it and you know it. I wish you could feel all the love in those insults,  it is so overwhelming.

If your going to do laundry here I suggest we create a "Laundy Room" for all those "wash cloths" because in no way are you going to scrub stuff in the other Forums and you will have to do the laundry by hand since we have no intention of bringing in a washer or a dryer.  Looks like we will have to create a room for the clothes line,  this is getting out of hand.

You are are our Idol Idiot.

Joanie

ENOUGH!  I can see that there is only one way left to get you two to stop bickering. The only honorable means for Ace and Joanie to settle this is...a DUEL!

PIES AT 5 PACES, that is. So limber up your throwing arms, and get ready to choose your toppings! psst...Joanie, pick anchovies, Ace hates 'em

OK, the rules are you each get 20 pie crusts, as much tomato sauce and cheese as you want, but there are a limited number of toppings. You cannot both use the same topping, so choose wisely. You can throw overhand, underhand, frisbee style, whatever you prefer.

Now I want a good clean duel, no throwing the baking sheet at your opponent (OK for use as a shield, though), and may the best Poaster win!

Ho, Ho, Neon,

Bickering with Ace is so much fun. I will let him have the first  shot with his pizza dough. Right now I am busy gathering up live anchovies and that is no easy feat in the desert.

I wonder which one is my thowing arm,  remember I am a blonde without a lot of muscle. Ace probably has a few muscles left over since he is a golfer. This might not be a fair duel.

Joanie

A day without Ace  is like a day without sunshine.

A night without sunshine is like.. well,... it's like night.

Joanie, for gosh sakes, you're left-legged.  I think that should be a clue.  Only muscle I've used golfing is my brain, asking myself "who said trees are 90% air...?"  I do walk, though, so 4 hours in 95 degrees hoofing it can be a test.  At least as to how many Heinekens I can inhale after.  

Look, I'm not going to be drawn into a tete-a-tete with Neon and you and me and Neon.  He can go commit suicide by pizza if he likes.  Or put his head in the oven to check his next creation.  Or duel himself.  Well, "single" himself.  Whatever.  

No way you can toss a pizza with anchovies, anyway.  Thing will slide right off your hand by the slime.  Plus you'll be blinded by the stench, and throw it on your foot.

I'd just slather myself with BBQ sauce, anyway, if I saw one coming, as an antidote.  The best defense is a good offense, I say.  I'd rather be offensive and beat people to the punch.  Especially relocated-Hoosiers.  Like they have a place in this world.  They're bad enough when they stay home. Here, in the flatlands of the crossroads of the midwest which isn't that far west, mind you.  

Ace; I'm a muscle without much blond.

Hey Aceio,

 Guess being left legged does make a difference and how many blonds can raise their right arm and have their left leg do a wheelie.

If you walk 4 hours in 95 degree weather that would explain a lot of things, carrying an umbrella might help and should it rain you can put the umbrella back in the golf cart. A parasol might look strange on the golf course even if carried by a Jester.

Neon is going to be so disappointed if a duel between the two of us does not take place.  Let's tell him we made up since he went to a lot of trouble creating that plan of action at my request and besides I was not looking forward to a gathering of anchovies.

Joanie

(http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/mica/joker.gif)

Jester,  You must  steal that Jester pic that Carol poasted for you. It is so perfect and looks just like you.

Jrah

How do you know?  He looks like an idiot.

Oh, ok. See your point.

I will try, but I'll probably wind up hijacking the station wagon and the kids... just my luck.  Probably have to try for a ransom demand.

Hey, maybe I could sell it in the forum news room...  well, not if Scuzzy's in there.  I'll have to check.

Ace; stupid gyrating Jester doofus.

We would all miss that station wagon and the kids if you hijacked it and then Carol would be out 1 car and 2 kids and Poasters would be out 1 very smart kid. Not a good idea Jester.

If you watch the Jester image for a minute or so you can tell he is losing it,  bet he has been lurking around The Poast Office forum and reading all your poasts.  That could do it to anybody.

Personally I thought the image was as cute as it gets.

Jrah

I don't know what I'd do with a wagon, or kids.  I've been riding on a sin wagon, but what else is new.

I'd like to take it over to Illinois and hijack Bubba and drive him out to a nice lake in Michigan and pick up Pat and discuss the finer points of Midwestern Living and ..

He's cute. Cute cute cute.  

cute little idiot boy jiggling jester. Adorable.  Cute as a laughing mime.  

criminy.  Ace; your other cute jiggling jester idiot boy smart___ maroon.

Since you wouldn't know what to do with Carols wagon or her kids how about we let her keep all of it. If you kept it just think of all the traveling you would have to do taking the kids to school and then their activities AND you would have to get up at least by 4 AM to get it all done. No, no, you don't want Carols job. Hijacking Bubba would be much easier. Bubba is becomming quite a Jester himself and Neon he is a funny one. Could be we will wind up with as many Jesters as there are Modulators.

What is a sin wagon? Duh!, never heard of that description before. Don't tell me I will use my limited imagination.

Carol will be pleased to know you think the Jester is cute, although I don't think a Valium would do him any harm and it might help slow him down a little,  That guy sure can jiggle but that is what makes him so cute and so obviously a Jester. Idiot.

JRah

perhaps it's time for a poll. Is the jester:
A) overcome with multiple anchovy delirium
B) in extreme pain after trying to "trip" Carol's wagon, which was loaded with frozen pizzas, with his big toe
4) unbelievably excited at finally discovering the mystical Valley of the Giant Slices
(http://neon.home.texas.net/Poasters/images/jesterpizza.gif)

2. Stunned by remaining in Indiana (sounds like I'm stuttering..) without having ever been to Texas.

C. Justin Idiot.

2B. Or not.

Ace; wouldn't be in delirium from anchovies.  
Would be in death.

I'll vote for "B" the extreme pain one after tripping Carols wagon. Carol is probably drag-in her wagon after all the trips to college etc.. I sure hope the College Computer was not in the wagon at the time,  if and when the Jester Idiot did that.

What the heck is that thing hopping and jumping on the pizza?  Anchovie paste it is not.

JRah

JRah, it is Carol's very same jester giffy, rollicking and thrashing atop a giant pizza pie. Either that or a live anchovy.

Hey Neon,

It looks more like a Jester Idiot Anchovie now that you mention it. The Anchovy part of it being the size and the rest of it the Jester Idiot.

He is late getting here this morning,  bet  he is frolicing on the golf course.


JRah

The main difference between Sausage and Italian Sausage is the addition of Fennel Seed to Italian. Recipes  vary, but that is one.
I have been going to a local place called Capozio?s for pie. Very good, real Italian Sausage, thin crispy crust, all the Anchovies you could ask for. Mmmmm???

Here is a recipe for Italian Sausage  (http://www.thegutsygourmet.net/itsausge.html) from  The Gutsy Gourmet,  (http://www.thegutsygourmet.net)be warned this guys page takes a while to load, but there is music. This place is loaded with all kinds of recipes .

How many anchovies would I ask for... what's less than "none."  

I've got Copy Kat (no, not Scuzzy) recipes bookmarked too, just to scope out famous ones and what's supposedly in them.  Any oregano in the Italian Snausage there?  I like basil, too.  

Hope it's not Kielbasa.  That'd just be weird.  

Ace; i before e

Yes, but do they have music?

Lets see now ?What is less than zero?? Why that would be Robert Downey Jr.
Or jesters lying on their backs after eating to many Anchovies.

"too" many. Excuse you.

I guess I could hum whilst being poisoned by slimy fishes.  If that's music to melt the stars...

Ace; stinking smelly yellow-screen fish smell.  Yuck.

Last Tuesday, I enjoyed the remainder of a delicious leftover pizza. It was thin crust with pepperoni, ham, onion, and mushroom. As the complex palette of flavors blended to form the savory aromatic taste with just the right crispiness/chewiness ratio that we think of as the pizza milieu, a thought occurred to me: Dang, this is pretty tasty! Then another thought: Hey, I am eating pizza again, and forgot to update the pizza poast. Now I have lost count of number of pizzas consumed.

From there, I thought about the intersection of pizza and computers. An absurd juxtaposition at first, but witness this poast. More importantly, consider the ease with which one can order pizza online.  www.papajohns.com has nice online "eDeals", and a very convenient topping selector. Using dropdown menus and some JavaScript, you can build a pizza, selecting crust and topping types. You can put toppings on the whole pie, or either half.

A few weeks ago, I decided to put this contraption to a test. I ordered a large 5 topping pizza with thin crust, and put 2 toppings on the whole pie, 2 toppings on the first half, and 1 topping on the second half. Then I pressed the order button, and hoped the electrons would convey my instructions accurately, and that the guys at the store could figure out how to build this complex pie. Heck, its almost like making a semiconductor chip. Did they get it right? Well, mostly. Everything came out ok, except it was regular crust. And it was still tasty.  All in all, not bad. Yet another useful application of computers. :)

Geez Criminy, Ne.  Let this dang poast die, willya!(@$*  Whattya think it is, immortal or something?

I do enjoy hitting the @(#$$ or the ~)(!#*$, too.  Cool.

We're about ready to resort to Papa John's; we gave up on East of Chicago (well, I guess which is where I is) when they left us hanging for an hour and a half on a delivery with only a response of "yes, it's out there.  Sure, it's on the way...".  We canceled, and yet no one appeared. Hmmm.

Also Marco's, which is here and similar to P. Johns.  We're betwixt two delivery stations, and neither will claim us in their jurisdiction.  So, if we don't exist to them then neither they to us.

After TD Thursday, I'm thinking a pizza will probably sound refreshing about Friday or Saturday.  

I don't know if I could handle web ordering, though.  Not knowing Java I'd probably come out with a Big and Tasty.

Ace; I tell ya, if I can't kill this thing it is eternal.

Having run out of anchovies, I was at a loss as to what to top my pizza with tonight.
While rummaging around in the freezer I found a box of fish sticks. I figured, ?Hey what are anchovies?? Fish, so heck, fish is fish is fish. Right?
So I topped my Jacks Naturally Rising Pizza with fish sticks, but instead of extra marinara I used some cocktail sauce with plenty of extra cheese. The results were quite delightful. The best part was not only do I have a new way to enjoy a slice, but I also found out how Fish Stick Marinara tastes.
How cool is that?

Hey Pat,

Guess it doesn't get much cooler than that if you like fish sticks.

Have you ever tried scrambled eggs and bacon on your pizza, even Bologna has a certain charm on pizza.

Joanie

Pepperoni and cheese or vegetarian can't be beat for a good pizza, but I'm wondering if this topic has taken a completely different turn/

Yep, the immortal Pizza Poast has taken some twists and turns for sure!

Has Neon ever tried to make a twisted pizza? It would be different but suitable for some of us. hee

We have a Jester who is a good twister and I don't mean that dance they use to do in the old days.

Joanie

*groans*

Joanie, are you referring to the game with the colored dots on the floor? In my experience, that Twister does not combine with pizza particularly well, but maybe Ace has some kind of special technique...

Last night, I tried the new Papa's CinnaPie. It is a pizza pie crust baked with cinnamon topping and some sugar glaze. It is quite tasty, not too sweet, and Ah does like cinnaminnaminnamon.

I only tried Twister once with pizzas, when we couldn't find the playing vinyl sheet.  It was a goshawful mess, and it made it even harder to stay in your position when you're sliding on a pepperoni.  

I don't think I can make my computer do a cartwheel, unless I somehow knock the thing off when I'm sweeping the den.  I could make a pizza do a pinwheel, but that's gotta result in toppings strewn about as bad as the Twister episode.  I don't much care to play with food, unless it's someone else's.

Ace; cinnamon would be good on anchovies, I'm sure.  This thing is immortal; no one ever accused it of having good taste.

Yo Neon,

The Twist dance is what I was referring to not the dot  floor game, although the dot game sounds like fun. Is that the floor game where you get all twisted up trying to follow directions? I played that once many years ago, it was riot.

The cinna pie does not sound familiar but it does sound delicious, especially to a diabetic. hee.

Papa's is right down the street from me and the drivers have a terrible time trying to find my house. It usually takes them at least an hour to get here and they are one minute away.

I liked Neons Poaster Pizza better than anybody's.

Joanie

*groans*

Well, that's a topping never tried on a pizza to my recollection.  "groans"
Unless it was supposed to be groins; I've never actually heard of that, either, on a pizza although we came close in the twister activity.

Maybe pizza delivery places need global posititioning devices, based on my trouble with Marco's and JRah's with Papa J.  Or maybe they're far sighted and can't see a residence down the street.

Giving sweets to the diabetic is right up there with scaring the (#@! out of impressionable youth, like what happened with that evil Halloween screen trick.  Sometimes, this place can be dangerous to the health of its readers; at least mental.

Maybe we need a disclaimer, with the History of the Poast typo thing, like "The Management recognizes no obligation nor culpability to any visitors whom damage themselves herein whilst reading poasts and their kin" or something like that.  Doesn't apply to The Regulars, who know what they're in for.  For which they're in.  Dang, I hate English sometimes.  Not "The English", but just the language portion.  Hard to spell, too, although easy to mispell.  Misspel. Misspell.  Miss Pell.  Missalette.  

That sounds like a little missile.  Heh.  That'd be something to take to church.  There've been times I wish I had.

So what were we talking about before the conversation turned to groins?  That must've been from Bubba, based on the anatomy.  Oh, yeah, pizza.  Man, this thing is eternal, and immortal.  Goes on longer than Keith's birthday.  Or Bubba's commas.  Or times between when Travis poasts.  We made our own Bobboli Boboli Babolet I don't know the store-bought crust pizzas the other week. Came out nicely.  Normal ingredients, none of this weird stuff.

Ok; more pizza news to come.  And, please, keep the slimy little stinky fishes out of it, ok? Okay? OK?  Criminy. ??? Huh, that one looks like there are questionable fumes coming off my head.  That's not far off the mark.

It's almost been six whole months since Neon introduced the first poasters pizza.  Will someone step up to the paper plate and make another?

Look, in accordance with prophecy and not just because I'm the janitor... but pizza on a paper plate is a goshawful mess.  Even if you double them, or get one of those heavy duty jobbies, it's a gloppy goofest.

Ok; carry on.  Glad I could contribute today, and make everybody's life that much fuller.  

Ace; the really cheap wash their paper goods and re-use them.

well it is Super Bowl Sunday, and I think we all know what that means. Yes, it is time to place pizza orders. The ordering decisions can be difficult - how many pizzas to order, which toppings are in vogue this year, etc.

First, keep in mind that you don't want to run out of pizza, so plan on 1 person per pizza. If you have a high proportion of thin people, then you can adjust that by ordering veggie toppings. Artichoke always adds a touch of class; mushroom, onion, olives, and peppers remain ever-popular. Go light on the broccoli, unless someone really likes that.  

The meats: get some of everything - ham, sausage, italian sausage, polish sausage, hungarian sausage, bacon, canadian bacon, romanian bacon, linguisa, cappicolo, pepperoni, hamburger, scrapple, kebab, anchovies, duck, BBQ chicken, smokin turkey. Tofu, tuna, miso, squid, are not recommended unless you have that sort of crowd.

Long story short - know what your guests like to eat, then put that on pizza. If your local shop can't make it for you, head to the grocery, gather the ingredients, and make it yourself. Don't be afraid to add a little design flair. Although I cringe to think what a Raider pizza would look like, a little creativity may garner more attention than the latest adverts. And it won't cost as much to produce.

If there are leftovers, then you can send it with them, or just keep the cold slices for future breakfasts. I hope this guide proves useful, and expedites your super bowl plans today. Additions and corrections are welcome.

Hey! You stole my pic, Ace!  >:( ;D ;)

No, I didn't "stle" your pic.  First, only JRah and Scuzzy use the term "pic" for "photo."  Secondly, it may have been stealed but not "stle."

Perhaps I should do a lesson on acronyms and abbreviations.  I mean "abbr."

It can save time, and pixels.  For instance, you could say "Hey, Pat, why dnt yu kp yr dng stnkg snw up thr stpd lk efct crp snw dngt" instead of the full version.  Or "Bba, yu dmb ilnsian rdnk lin kng whnabe qt stlng th dng het nd lt sm gt to th Indians hr, wya?!"

We made our own pizzas; one sausage/pepperoni, one ham/ground beef/onion . Came out fine, but criminy the heartburn.  What a great way to start a Monday...  Tm fr anther stpd cpful of Ppto Bsml, gz Loise.

Ace; kp it shrt, dngt.  No not "shirt"... criminy.

Okay. Okay. Stole. I don't like it when popeye shows up where i'm not there and makes me think that that's my poast. What am supposed to call them?

What am call what?  I haven't done shorthand since high school, so I'm having a hard time figuring every other word.  

Hey; that could be another time and space saving communication tool...  like:

Pat, know should leaving Indians since might up stop lakefront next.   Or;
Neon, expatriate how Bobby doing Texas now he's wearing?

Or, maybe not.  I mean: Or not.

I'll lay off Popeye, until I can make more jokes about spinach or olive oil.  Then I may borrow him, again.

Ace; oh, almost forgot this is the eternal pizza poast and I almost forgot to even mention anything about pizza... how rude.  Hmmm.  Uh.  Ok; we ate the leftovers this week.  They were ok.

So it?s Lobsterfest at Red Lobster again. This year they have a Lobster Pizza, I just had to try it.
Quote from site:
Pizza with flair - a crisp, delicate California-style thin-crust pizza topped with lobster meat, cheese, fresh tomato & sweet basil.

It?s pretty good, not as tangy as Anchovies or as sweet as Crawdads, but definitely worth a try.

It had to happen -
Man orders pizza, man gets drunk, finds an axe, and...

Axeman Attacks Chef Over Pizza

FRANKFURT (Reuters) - Unhappy with his pizza and not content with a refund, a man in Germany has gone after the chef with an axe.

Frankfurt police said the 57-year-old man was restrained by customers after he drew the axe from his coat and started swinging it at the cook.

"Apparently, the pizza didn\\\'t agree with him," said police spokesman Manfred Feist. "He wasn\\\'t a regular customer."

The drunken man, who had been offered a refund or a fresh pizza after complaining his first one was revolting, was ejected from the restaurant after shouting abuse.

He later returned to continue his tirade and then produced the axe and attempted to strike the chef but patrons managed to wrestle him to the ground. He was arrested by police.

OK, pizza seems to be the topic. Kinda like a topical antibacterial. And toppings are all the rage with pizza's. How many toppings or how many can we eat in a day. Just a little info:

September 2002, FranchiseHelp completed its 3rd annual survey of top market
share franchised companies operating in the Pizza Industry. Comprising one
of the largest sectors in the food franchise industry today, pizza has
become one of America&#8217;s most important and popular foods, as illustrated by
the following industry statistics:

Pizza restaurant growth continues to outpace overall restaurant growth.  

Italian food ranks as the most popular ethnic food in America.  

94% of America&#8217;s population eats pizza.  

According to an American Dairy Association random sampling survey, pizza is
America's fourth most craved food, behind cheese, chocolate and ice cream.  

Statistics show that Americans consume over 100 acres of pizza a DAY, about
350 slices per second1.

Approximately 3 billion pizzas are sold in the U.S. each year.

Pizza is now a $32 billion per year industry.  

According to Food Industry News, pizza accounts for more than 10% of all
food service sales, as each man, woman and child in America eats an average
of 46 slices (23 pounds) of pizza a year.  

93% of all Americans eat at least one pizza a month.

37% of kids say pizza is their favorite food.  

34% of the time kids choose the restaurant their families eat at; and kids
are consulted in this decision 91% of the time.

According to a Gallop Poll, children between the ages of 3 and 11 prefer
PIZZA over ALL other food groups for lunch and dinner.  

A study done by a US Department of Agriculture statistician and home
economist found that in a three-day survey period, 42% of children between
the ages of 6 and 11 has eaten pizza.

Today there are approximately 61,269 pizzerias in the United States11. These
pizzerias represent 17% of all restaurants.

Today at work we had a special birthday celebration that included pizza for lunch.

Today we added a novelty to the pantheon of pizza excellence... Zucchini on pizza!

Today was a new zenith in the pizza arts. According to our brave correspondant, "The white flesh of the zucchini added to the razzle dazzling effect of the pizza's zesty appearance." Well appearance is all fine, but did it taste good? Straight from the chompers of the chomper: "My exuberance at the possibility of a zucchinized pizza was rapidly dashed  by a mush of doughy crust saturated with an ill-prepared tomato sauce.  The overall efect was that of marinara spongecake with zucchini inclusions.  This may appeal to the appetites of some tofu-loving vegetarians, but I for one was frazzled by the combination.  I have hope that with an appropriately herbified sauce and crispier toastier crust, zucchini could prove an awesomely skookum pizza topping."

Geez Louise Criminy!!?!  What is this thing, some kinda eternal pizza poast thing?!,  .

This thing goes on longer than dude's birthday, which at last count he figured was "Any day that ends in 'Y'"

Not to be confused with the eternal pizza; that ones stuck under one of the couch cushions at my sister-in-law's.

I'm sorry, but zucchini is like the ultimate tasteless non-food vegetable filler.  If tofu was made out of plants, it'd be made outta Zucchini.  That stuff is the "spackle" of food groups.  It's a starch, that you could probably rub on your shirt before ironing it.  It'd probably make a good insulation.  I don't think it goes bad... I mean, how can you tell?  It's like "Oh, this mattress liner went bad.  See?"

Ace; meat.  Meat is what goes on pizza.  Lotsa meat.  And cheese.  dangit.

It twue, it's really twue!
It's the announcement most of us have dreamed of -- you must consume copious slices of pizza to keep cancer at bay. (http://www.rednova.com/news/stories/2/2003/07/22/story009.html) Researchers make this claim in a new study of some 8,000 Italians that found folks who regularly chow down on pizza appear to have a decreased risk of several types of gastrointestinal cancers -- particularly of the colon and esophagus, as well as the throat and mouth.

Careful  not to jump to any conclusions Neon. What I mean is, pizza in America has been, if you want to call it, 'Americanized' like many other foreign recipes we eat.

Being an information freak, the History, Science and Discovery channels are  my favorites. In a program on American culture and foods a few months ago, they talked about how we've taken traditional favorite foods around the world and changed them to fit our American tastes. The program stated that American pizza differs greatly from original Italian pizza.

So as not to be long winded, the bottom line was that Americans would find traditional Italian pizza not to be up to what we expect from pizza. I guess they are more basic without all the toppings and goodies we've come to expect on our pizza's.

I love pizza, but I'm not sure I would like traditional Italian pizza from the way they were described in the program. I don't remember all the details, but do remember they would be quite bland in flavor compared to American style pizza.

I was all gung ho and ready to move to Italy till I saw that program, but decided to stay here cuz I would miss American pizza's :-)

You make a good point. Indeed, the article mentions that the cancer statistics may be more closely related to the overall Mediterranean diet, or the fact that Europeans generally get more exercise than Americans, or any of thousands of other variables.

Still, I think I would like Italian-style pizza. I prefer simple to deep dish Chicago style 18 topping gutbusters.

I may enquire of my health insurance whether they will cover importation of Italian health pizza, as a oncological prophylactic.

Uhhhggggggg!!! I wouldn't want any  prophylactics on my oncology.

Think I'll stick with pepperoni and cheese. Lotsa cheese.

And Canadian bacon. (Does it really come from Canada?)

And pineapple.

And green peppers

Onions

Olives

More cheese.

I went to Olive Garden last week for a little lunchtime celebration. And what better to celebrate with than a custom made pizza?

Yes, Roma tomatos, mushroom, pepperoni, and artichoke hearts. The Olive Garden did a nice job, presenting a personal-sized pizza on a little slicing board. The crust was fairly crisp, the tomato sauce a bit bland for my tastes, but heh I'm a Texan who eats Tabasco and jalapenos with everything.

Anyway, the meal went well with the family style insalata, and was topped off with Illy Caff? Espresso. I may have to go back and try it again sometime soon.

Someone must print this (not me) and put it in a bookstore. Sell it to Barnes & Noble. Pizza. That could be the subject. O at least it should be...oh I'm the admin and I don't see any way to port it over to my site at http://iansl.ikonboard.com (http://iansl.ikonboard.com). I guess you guys just have to go through my site (http://www.freewebs.com/iansl (http://www.freewebs.com/iansl) to my forum and redo the whole thing. Oh well. Or you could chat it out in one sitting. 8D.

I didn't steal any dang thing dangit from the dang web
hold it.  This isn't that poast, is it...

Ok; a three legged dog runs into a corn field, albeit not very fast
no. Shoot, it's not the bad joke symposium, either.  What is this thing?
What's the title..
"Re:"

Re.  Re... do?  Re....wire?  Re....lease?  Re.....sofa?   Rah Rah Re...?  

Huh.

Oh; hold it.  Ok, I see.  The interminable Pizza Poast.  I got lost in the statistical allusions and ethnic references.

Does anyone go to Olive Garden and get olives?  Or just the all you can stuff in yourself salad and breadsticks, so as not to have to fork over more for the actual meal.  Here, folks usually get a long wait, when they go to Olive Garden.  I do concur that a personal pie at an Italian restaurant is typically a worthwhile repast.  Repaste.  Well, if the sauce is sticky..

And peppers; sure, load them on.  You only live once.  Although there's times I think they exit as hot as they enter.  Yow.  

Ace; I'm usually on the hotseat anyway.

HEH! HEH! When you go to Olive Garden, order your salad and main course, but order only one main course and have them split it. (For this to be fruitful, there has to be at least two of you....... OK?)

This way, you have all the salad and bread sticks you can eat, and a main course to wash it down with. I know if I order the full course, I can't eat enough salad and bread sticks to make it worth while.

When you order, ask for butter too. That way you can split open and butter your bread sticks while you eat salad. Place your butter under the bread sticks till ready to use. This softens the butter for easy spreading.

When they grate the cheese for the salad, tell them to keep going until they think it's too much, then to keep going from there till you say "STOP!!!!"

Dang, that's good salad!!
************
For your info (might be correct, haven't tried it yet):

OLIVE GARDEN ITALIAN SALAD DRESSING

Source: Olive Garden Restaurants, Phoenix, Arizona - This is NOT a TSR clone.

1/2 cup white vinegar
1/3 cup water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup corn syrup
2 1/2 tablespoons grated Romano cheese
2 tablespoons dry pectin
2 tablespoons egg, beaten
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1/4 teaspoon dried parsley flakes
Pinch of dried oregano
Pinch of crushed red pepper flakes

Combine all ingredients with medium speed of electric mixer or in a blender on low speed for 30 seconds. Chill at least 1 hour.

Serve over mixed greens or use as a marinade.

Makes 8 servings.

Criminy, you don't have to yell "Heh" at everybody.  It's still morning, here.

That's all well and good on the salad dressing recipe, but how about the butter recipe or the breadstick recipe..?  Or that grate cheese.

If you gulped all that down, I guess you'd be gratefull.  

If they gave all the Chianti you could drink, I'd be there.  When I open my restaurant, I'm going with "all the napkins you care to eat."  That oughta keep prices, and lines, down.

Ace; I miss the days of the Noble Roman's and Pizza Keg Sicilian deep dish pizzas.  They were to die for.

Quote from: Ace on August 11, 2003, 08:41 hrs
Ace; I miss the days of the Noble Roman's and Pizza Keg Sicilian deep dish pizzas.  They were to die for.

What do you miss about those days? And why are you missing them now? Can you just go down to Noble Roman's, order a Sicilian deep dish pizza, and relive those glory days pretyy well anytime that you want?

Probably. But I still think hat this ought to be printed and bound hardcover. :D

I think Neon's hat should be printed in hardcover, too.

Ok, Guy From Texas; if you woulda stuck around these parts you'd notice there Are No Noble Romans Around Here No How No Way.

Criminy.  Like I wouldn't have thought to shop there, otherwise.

Ace; sometimes he treats me like I'm stupid, or something.  Expatriate Indian.

A. I never knew that Noble Roman's pizza exsisted until the post (that's why I have not looked back to make sure that the spelling, or even the name, is correct)

B. I said probably, making me safe from precise accusations. I could have said 'might' or 'possible', but those words did not come to me. I did not say, though, strong words such as precisely, absolutely, or without a doubt (although the latter would not fit into this catagory, as it is a group of three words, but I put it in there because the nefinition was closer to the realm of what I could have put there...)...

C. But I still want to know how many pages the post would take up, without the bars and boxes, and without using my ink.

My hat already has stuff printed on it, such as "AMD", thank you anyway.

Ace, Ace, Ace -- the reason there are no Noble Romans there is because you are in Michiana, you silly Indianian. You really need to learn some Indiana pizza history. Here's a nice article to get you started: A bite of Bloomington (http://www.journalism.indiana.edu/gallery/student/j201spring03/shiggs2/Diana's%20Final%20Project/). From this article,

QuoteAlthough Noble Romans is a national chain pizza, it has local roots in Bloomington. Steve Huse and Paul Mobley established its flagship restaurant in Bloomington in 1972.

I used to go to Noble Romans, but my favorite was Cafe Pizzeria, which is extensively covered in the article. Their Italian Beef sandwiches are uniquely tasty. Yep, I enjoyed many lunches there with friends, back when I was a student.

I agree Bloomington bites; mostly as it's full of Hoosiers.  As opposed to Boilermakers, let alone Indians.

I think the Cream & Crimson colors came from them trying to eat strawberries.  

I do enjoy finding out about wonderful restaurants that I will have no occasion to visit; it makes me yearn for other things that have no semblance to reality here.  Pizza Keg was at W. Lafayette, and originated who knows where.  The pies were larger and better than Noble Roman's, but were unique to those environs.

I wonder how much space we would take up, without bars and boxes.  I guess I'd miss bars more.

The Pub down the street, near the University, near the Mall, makes a great pizza.  Plus their micro brew beer.  That is a decent combination, too.  And good stuffed jalapenos.  

Ace; I think I'll call IU Bloomington students "Bloomies."  That sounds pretty disparaging.

The post, I mean. It would probably take up about 15 pages! I'll have to copy it sometime and look. :D

OK now, let me set you straight about Bloomington. It is a pleasant and idyllic place to live, so no disparages are necessary. You are correct about it being mostly full of Hoosiers, but not "Bloomies" - criminy, that sounds like people who spend all day at Bloomingdale's.

Now let me also offer an olive branch. I have visited several of the pubs in W. Lafayette, and they were ok. I don't remember very much, but I think we played darts, and I lost badly.

Incidentally, there is an Olive Branch Pizza near my home that entices me each time I drive by. Someday, I will have to get some samples and review it for you. Even if you never go there, you will shirley appreciate that.

I will not likely ever go to Pizza Keg, since I wouldn't know where to find it. I do hope that they mean Pizza and Keg, as opposed to pizza that they pour out of a keg. Blecch. Worst idea since pizza in a can.

This poast takes a lot of boxen and pages, though of course that depends on the size of those boxen and pages. A box the size of this planet could hold a lot of poasts or pizzas. Of course, then you'd need a fridge the size of Jupiter for the leftovers.

That is, if you want the fridge to hold the leftovers and keep them fresh until they're all eaten...I wonder what the computer would have to be for a cooling processor? Dual Xeons??? :D

Ok, but don't call me Shirley.

I would think "Pincushion" by ZZTop, that li'l ole band from Tejas, would be in your honor, as a loser at darts.

"Pizza in a can" would sure solve the table space issue, when you go out...  We have doves here, so I guess they'd wanna partake at Olive Branch Pizza.  Maybe we can meet, and Pat can buy the pitcher of margaritas.  

Ace; yeah, right.  And Bubba will leave enough beer for the rest of us.  I thought Jupiter was the consistency of a milkshake; I wonder what flavor.

A bit of sad news to report tonight.

My local Papa Johns store has been closed. :'( For the past several years, this was my main pizza source, because it was delicious and conveniently close by. The next nearest Papa Johns is about a 20 minute drive, and the pizza just doesn't stay nice and hot when it has to sit that long.

Not to worry too much. There are two other pizza joints within walking distance. Maybe one of them will offer pies as deliciously mouth-watering as Papa did.

Papa John's closed ??? Say it isn't so.

Heck, I'd move to a closer Papa John's. Or, I'd open my own store.

Quote from: Scuzzy on November 08, 2003, 22:07 hrs
Papa John's closed ??? Say it isn't so.

Heck, I'd move to a closer Papa John's. Or, I'd open my own store.

My mom works for Papa John's meaning half price pizzas for me. They aren't closing unless it is an individual store.

Boy their pizza is great! :)

Mark H

We're pretty much down to Papa John's as the only available delivery outlet, since Marco's refuses to recognize us betwixt their delivery zones and Pizza Hut has acquired a tendency to cauterize anything that arrives in a box.  And "East of Chicago Pizza" went south.  So my sympathies.  

It's too bad you don't have a Noble Romans nearby.  

Since your other venues are within walking distance, maybe you could get a discount or spending cash by becoming a walking deliveryperson for them...?  You could get a little wagon and load it up, and take them around to others also within walking distance who are too lazy to.  It would be a novel career move, without becoming a writer.  I think, around the turn of the century that turned before this one, there were wagons that would bring around pizza to city folk, as they did with ice and milk as well.  I'm pretty sure.  

Or, I suppose since it's Texas and everybody drives a horse, you could hitch one up and do it that way.  Although I don't know if I'd really care for a pizza that rode behind a horse.  I've heard you can't put the cart before the horse, so that's a conundrum.  

Ace; and this poast is eternal, if not immortal.  

So what about those Chef Boyardee mixes?
You know, the one that has the pizza in a box. You mix it up and instant pizza.
I like to mix in some olive oil with the dough after it?s done rising, makes the dough nice and chewy. Adds some good flavor as well. Don?t use that stuff that they call cheese though, man that stuff is nasty.
I like to fry up a little Italian sausage and put that on top with some Asiago and white Cheddar cheese and mushrooms and Anchovies and some peppers and some onions and some ham and some garlic and whatever else is handy and sounds good at the time.

Hi all,

My pizza:

semi crunchy base, chicken topped with BBQ sauce, sundried tomatoes on top and add a few chopped Kalamata olives finished off with loads of mozzarella and a handful of parmesan cheese.

YUM! Hey its lunchtime already...

gota go =)

Simon

MMMM! That Papa John's Pizza was good tonight. Yum Yum :P

Mark H

mwhals,

your electrons got taken by chlorine or some other group VII element.. nah im only kidding :p

I wish they had Papa John's Pizzas in Australia!

Papa John's Pizzas sound very nice... lucky for all those people who can get access to the stores...

mun69, Papa John's (http://www.papajohns.com) is not in Australia now, but:

QuotePapa John's is currently seeking experienced master franchisees and franchisees worldwide. Development Agreements have been signed in the following countries. We are currently seeking additional franchisees in some of these countries, as well as in other international markets:

Aruba, Bahamas, Canada, Cayman Islands, China, Costa Rica, Greece, Honduras, Hong Kong, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Peru, Russia, Saudi Arabia, South Korea, Trinidad & Tobago, United Kingdom and Venezuela.

If you meet the requirements (http://www.papajohns.com/franchise_opps/int_franrequire_fees.html) (i.e., have lots of money to invest), you could open the first Australian franchise. If that's not possible. then see below.

I decided to buy the parts separately and build my own. Here is a parts list:
Boboli (http://boboli.com.au/) cheese crust, plain tomato sauce, oregano, blend of grated mozzarella and romano cheeses, chopped ham, sliced artichoke hearts, mushrooms, and two sticks of Crucial PC3200.

*droool*

Pizza!

Peperoni
or cheese-louise
or porkypine-apple

"mmmmm.. Eternal Pizza Poast" - Something Homer simpson might say ;D

Quote from: Neon on November 13, 2003, 10:17 hrs
....and two sticks of Crucial PC3200.

MMM, tasty. :P

Mark H

You know, since the departure of Papa John's from my neighborhood, :'( my pizza consumption has decreased greatly. But there's good news: I have a Boboli pizza crust and some ingredients, and plan to bake a pizza tomorrow for dinner. I just might do something - daring. :o

This thread must die!

Criminy, Wade, you can't kill one of these things by poasting to it.  

Well, I can, usually, but not you.  You have to have the power vest, that comes with the jingling bell hat and stupid Jester shoes.  Only a Jester can kill a conversation that quick.

You have to step out of the kitchen, and just hope no one goes in...  Figure they left the crust out on the counter, and forgot about it.  Or cake out in the rain.  Yech.

Are penguins edible?  Is it like a chicken pizza?  We've got a new place called Papa Murphy's or something like that where you order the crust and toppings and they assemble it but don't bake it.  You do that at home.  Winds up a bit cheaper, and fresh.

Just like the idea Kramer had, pretty much.

Ace; this thing is like an immortal eternal poast.  That never ends, too.

Criminy, I mention this thread in another topic and bang - it is revived.

Mark H

Papa Murphy's?

I didn't know they were making their way that far across country. Been here for years.

They actually have pretty good pizza. Big. Not too expensive. And heavy.

We just got some coupons in the mail yesterday. All pizza's under $10.

Family Size Pepperoni - $6.99
Family Size 2 Topping - $7.99
Large Murphy's Combo - $8.99

You bake them yourself. I suggest purchasing a large pizza pan to bake with. And you want the heavy kind with small holes all over the bottom. This helps the entire bottom of the crust bake more evenly across, not just out toward the edges.

Papa Murphy

He ain't my daddy, but he's been feeding me for years :-)

What does criminy mean?

Well, criminy, how should I know.  Geez Louise.

Closest parallel is an expression like "for crying out loud".. "gee whiz".... the Aussie Crikey, I would think.  Of that ilk.

If you do a search (I just did) you can come across a history of its development, as a somewhat vulgar (of the Vulgate) expressionistic euphemism that apparently generated from earlier generations of things like Jiminy Cricket which surprisingly didn't orignally refer to a cricket.  Actual actual origin seems like it may have been Italian, from the word for "crime." Criminetly is a variation that's also been investigated.

Ace; dangit.

OK, I'm ready to start. Here's my Boboli pizza crust. Any suggestions on making this pie?
(http://www.poasters.com/photos/pizzacrust.jpg)

Well, yes.  Cover it up.  That looks horribly plain.

Ace; criminy.

Just drizzle on some olive oil and top with sun dried tomatoes and garlic. Top with a little Asiago and Parmesan and enjoy.

I decided to go with plain tomato sauce, and some oregano. Pretty standard, but now there's a problem -
(http://www.poasters.com/photos/pizzasauced.jpg)
I forgot to buy cheese! :o I've looked and looked, but there isn't any cheese at all - not even the plastic kind that comes in individually wrapped slices. The store is closed, and I'va already started working on the pizza. What can I use as a cheese substitute?

You could go with:

1. One of Mark's jokes
2. Something else dairy; did you think of Cottage Cheese?  Curdled milk?  Ice Cream, if you're quick??
3. No cheese.  Be original.  Just meat.  Lots of it, to cover up the lack of cheese covering things up.
4. Switch to a "dessert" pizza, with chocolate syrup.  Maybe whipped cream.
5. Whipped cream.  See "Other dairy #2" above
6. Put it away.  You can't make a pizza without cheese, you maroon.  Freeze it for later.  Or give it to the dog.

Ace; good thing I'm here

Thanks for those....interesting suggestions, Ace. I have now found a spray can of cheddar-flavored Cheez Whiz(R) in the cupboard, but that would not likely taste good. It may come down to suggestion #3, drown it in meat.

I'm inclined to go with Freeze It, to make it your personal eternal pizza.  You can add the meat before, or after.  

My niece came to visit, who is a vegetarian.  I told her we're meant to eat animals; if not, why are they made of meat??  She said she knew some people who are made of meat.  I wouldn't want to eat people, since I think you are what you eat and I don't want to be anyone else, at least at the moment.  Especially with a birthday coming up.  I'd hate for someone else to get any gifts intended for me.  

Oh, and I'm pretty sure Cheddar is reserved for breakfast or beef sandwiches.  I like it, but I don't think it's suitable for pizza.  Unless you have spray meat to go with the aerosol cheese.

Ace; that was nice of him to say my suggestions are interesting.  

For once I agree with Ace. We are meant to eat animals, so I will continue eating steak, sausage, pork, ham, turkey, chicken, beef, roast, fish and shrimp. Did I miss anything?

Mark H

Quote from: Mark H on March 04, 2004, 16:05 hrs
... I will continue eating steak, sausage, pork, ham, turkey, chicken, beef, roast, fish and shrimp. Did I miss anything?

Yes. In a previous episode of the pizza poast, we considered "alternative" pizza toppings such as squid and duck and baby seal. Considered and rejected, that is. Speaking of alternative, I decided on a cheese substitute. Hold onto your hats...
(http://www.poasters.com/photos/pizzachoke.jpg)
Slices of artichoke hearts! OK, it's not chewy and stringy like cheese, but it covers the tomato sauce. Any ideas for toppings to go with this? Still drown it in meat?

Add some jalopeno peppers or mild peppers if you don't like too much spice. Throw a little sauce on the top and pop it in the oven.

I do say that I would have to pass on the artichoke hearts.

Mark H

Hold Onto Your Hats?!  I'm Trying to Hold ONto My Lunch...

Geez Criminy, Neon, that's like the oldest lasagna noodles ever...   Why don'tcha just put Brussel Sprouts all over it, and go with those as depth charges.  Or sit a duck on it; it couldn't look worse.

I would far rather be facing down a plate of Calimari than that thing...  even if they can look back.  Yeeks.

I wonder; what type of hammer for a baby seal... claw, or ballpeen, or sledge?  Hmmm.

Ace; yikes.  yeeks.  yech.  I'm eating at Mark's; he knows what he's doin' in the kitchen.  Jalapeno, or even a Habanero.  If I had to eat that pizza I'd put my head in the oven instead of it.

Ace, you are invited to my house for dinner anytime. ;)

Mark H

Wacth out Ace, It's going to like the Twilight Zone episode .
"How to serve Man."  :o
Or was it The Outer Limits?

Artichokes are one of my favorite veggies, ok, flower buds. I?d like to get out to the Castroville Artichoke festival someday. What fun that would be, maybe even take in the Gilroy Garlic festival.

How about tofu? It?s white and kina looks like cheese.
They say it?s good for you but?????..

Well folks, I'm running out of ingredients in the cupboard. Let's see, we've got chocolate sauce, barbecue baked beans, celery, and leftover sauerkraut. Any takers? ;) OK, I actually decided on some thin sliced and diced ham, and yellow onion. Here it is:
(http://www.poasters.com/photos/pizzatopped.jpg)

Quote from: Wade777 on March 03, 2004, 15:10 hrs
What does criminy mean?

thats Ace's favorite word!

Ne', the onions and ham were a great idea since they covered the petals.  I wouldn't go further into your cupboard.

Mark, I'll try to make it there for Sunday dinner.  Thanks.

Trav, you're safe to do any of the award shows, because you're always on a 5 minute tape delay.

Ace; 5 day...

P.S. My original poast had "award shoes", and I have no idea what that might have suggested.  I apologize for the keyboardo, and blame it on the keyboard.

OK, here is the final product, fresh out of the oven, nice and baked:
(http://www.poasters.com/photos/pizzadone.jpg)
It turned out ok, especially considering the limited ingredients available. Without cheese, it lacked the stretchy stringiness that pizza normally has, and it also had less of a smooth greasy feeling going down. The artichoke was just tangy enough to made up for lack of cheesiness.

Overall, I liked it, but it wasn't my ultimate favorite pizza. I may try another cheese-less pizza again, but will have to experiment a little to get the right mixture of ingredients. I'll have to think about it a bit. Let me know if you have any good ideas - and by "you", I mean not Ace.

Quote from: Ace on March 04, 2004, 14:48 hrs

Oh, and I'm pretty sure Cheddar is reserved for breakfast or beef sandwiches.  I like it, but I don't think it's suitable for pizza.  Unless you have spray meat to go with the aerosol cheese.

Ace; that was nice of him to say my suggestions are interesting.  

I agree about Cheddar, and Chandler cheese....

Yes, it was nice of blue-glowing-neon-sign guy to say that those comments were nice
:)

Yummmm...pizza!  Awesome creation, Neon!

Am I too late to get in an order?  Hmm...since it's Saturday a.m., how about a breakfast pizza?  Let's see, skip the sauce, just some cheese, maybe just a little scrambled egg and some sausage and ham.

Do you have a 30 minutes or it's free guarantee?  Just in case, I'm setting the timer...go!

Karen  :)
Pizza...it's what's for breakfast!

Hey, what the... OK, I'm just seeing this, and there's 4 minutes until the 30 minute guarantee is up. I'll call FedEx to see if they can get it to you. You're in Georgia, right? We may need to use ballistic means to deliver it on time, but fortunately the friction should cause the pizza to cook fully in-flight. Now, if you would just give me your credit card number and coordinates please...

Poasters cannot live on pizza alone, so I made an apple pie with crunchy topping.
If you all hurry on over you can get some while it's still warm.
(http://files.triton.net/pattrucks/poasters/apple_pie.jpg)

very nice looking - for a non-pizza. ;)

I see oats! I see oats! Good choice - a much better choice than ivy.

Will you cut it into strips and call them CinnaStix?
I miss Papa Johns. :'(

Indeed those are Oats, but defiantly not the ones that are going to lower your cholesterol.
Those are the good kind; they have been soaked in brown sugar and butter.  :)

really, really, can i have an order for both, but u will have to fire them at my house, i am in the UK in the middle, and ill extend the delivery time to an hour, the timer is ticking, GO GO GO GO!!!

can i have some cream or custard with the apple pie please??? thanks

I continue to experiment with new pizza concoctions. Tonight's menu is artichoke-less, but the artichokes might return to a new pizza soon.
First, is an easy-going Ham, Mushroom, Pepperoncini pie.
(http://www.poasters.com/photos/pizza-hmp.jpg)
Next is a similar Pepperoni, Mushroom, Pepperoncini, and sun-dried Tomato disk o tastiness. I liked the second one a bit better than the first, even though it was a bit tricky to keep the oil-drenched tomatos from burning whilst cooking the remainder of the pie thoroughly. Perhaps next time, I'll try adding them later.
(http://www.poasters.com/photos/pizza-ppmpt.jpg)

Those look good, never would have thought about pepperoncini on a pizza, seems like more of a salad item. It?s hard to beat sun-dried tomatoes though.
We went to a little Italian bistro the other day for pizza, they make a nice little pie with a thin almost cracker type crust baked in a real brick pizza oven. They offer a choice of a traditional tomato based sauce or pesto or an olive oil base. Of course I got the olive oil base with gorgonzola and roasted red peppers and spinach and sausage. Very tasty.

WOW *eats pat's apple pie*

*burp*


*notices theres none left*....


"ah, heh, woops, sorry"

*walks backwards slowly...*

Your wish is my command.

All you have to do is ask!

But seriously ,  is there anybody besides myself that likes peanutbutter pizza?

 Dunno, I've never tried it.  I do like Peanut Butter on toast, especially with jam (that's jelly to you Yanks out there).

You don't have cheese on there as well do you?  That doesn't sound too nice!

cheee and peperoni both yeah its good....it doesnt really taste like pizza though its like its  own food group.

After all the others are dead; one lives on.

Ace.

Poasters or poasts?  



Just can't let you do this, again.   ;D

Oh, why not.  Criminy, you're worse than Travis some days.

Anyway: either.

With extra cheee.  

Ace; it's only a matter of time...

said Mr. Obvious.  

At least my light blubs are in lamps and I don't end my poasts this way-
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :P

Sooner or later it happens to all, even Arafart