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Started by pliskin, April 27, 2003, 15:47 hrs

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Ace, after reading a number of your messages i seea theme, an animal theme, you talk of pandas but have you really considered a giraffe?

Picture this, a giraffe driving a ferrari, not a porsche, a ferrari. You know it happens, in the jungle a giraffe will eat porsches, we hate prosches us giraffes.

I dont think you understand the true comedic values of a giraffe, with the long  necks and stuff.

Remember. the giraffes are watching yyyyyyyyyyyooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!
Somedays your the pigeon
Somedays your the statue


Ok; okay. Look.
First off, if you're hovering near the Funny room, I'm watching.  This is my turf, me being the Jester and all.  And janitor, but let's not go into that right now.

2ndly, be careful when poasting something entitled with me.  No, not "me" but "Ace.".  Anything "Ace".  Like the present tense "Ace" poast, here.  Or something along the lines of "Ace and the Indians" or "Ace and Bubba do something Stupid But Ace does it Stupider" or "Pandas Attack! Ace evacuates and Many are Grossed Out" or "Ace Doofus; Private I" or "I pirate software and download free media and then my system goes Kaflooey and I think I have a virus let alone Spyware and Even Ace isn't that Dumb".   Mainly because I'm watching, and I will laugh last.  It's my right, as the Jester.

Now, in answer to the musical question "Have I considered a Giraffe"...


"Long neck and stuff..."  I am perplexed by the "stuff" that might be considered, past the long neck.  Granted, the necks are long.  Actually, the legs too.  Funny knees, if you ask me.  After that, can't see much else noteworthy.  Camel-like head.  Interesting color scheme.  That's about it.

Hating Pandas is not just an observation; it's a lifestyle choice.  We're not describing pandas doing "cute" or "humourus" bits, like driving a Ferrari.  Geez, that would be a waste of a Ferrari.  And look, it's a Ferrari not a ferrari.  It's Enzo's name.  Same with Porsche.  Ford.  Let's show some respect, especially for finer motor cars.

Steve Chevrolet, I don't think we have to honor so specifically.  Same with Lewis Jaguar.

Giraffes hate Porsches, in the jungle.  Huh.  Also structuring sentences.  And ending a sentence with a bunch of exclamation marks.  Maybe Bubba can stop by and throw in a few dozen commas.  

Pandas are not amusing.  They stink, they are worthless, and they are in the fast lane to extinction.  

A giraffe hating a prosche; I think that says it all.  And eating it; I'm sure they're tasty.  Whatever they are.

Maybe the core of a prosciutto.  I suppose that would be edible.  And, no, pandas are not an "animal."  They are the scourge of mankind and bane of our existence.  And doormat, if that happens to be where one collapses in a smelly heap.

Ace; why do I feel more like a janitor, today... ::)

Ring bells for service.


what you fail to have considered is that a giraffe has spots whereas a panda has the boring, so last year black and white motif.

As for your situation of motorcars. Granted a Porsche is a fine automobile, yet again, mr Ferdinand Porsche was a nazi, giraffes hate nazis. When i say eating a Porsche it is a figure a speech, like swallowing a toad or a welshman claiming ownership of all the sheep in the Shetlands.

The exclamation marks are a necessary evil, like Man Yoo, they are there to add weight to my giraffe claims.

I am hereby proclaiming all Panda jokes racist. As a member of the animla kingdom myself i feel offended (go on Pat, ban him) and feel your cruel victimisation of a Giraffe is very short sighted, they are the futuer and you will bow before their funny knees and incredibly long tongue.

The punctuation you refer to is not present because it is forming a rebel group in order to protect pandas and associated giraffes from the demons that men like you bring upon them, you have been warned.

Any more offences to a member of the AAPA (Ace Animal Protection Agency) will be dealt with accordingly, (the long tongued giraffes perhaps?)

If you laugh last, then i will laugh longest as i have a special pact with the demon from the 9 1/2 circle of hell which allows me to return, laughing manically in a russian accent, dont make me use it, i will i tell you.

(I also own a porsche 328 GTS, protecting the giraffes you undersatnd, nothing else ;-) )
Somedays your the pigeon
Somedays your the statue


First; "you're" = you are.  You are the pigeon.  You are the statue.  You're.
"your" = possessive of "you."  Your hat.  Your cane.  Your sheep.  

Thirdly; I'm getting whiplash from following the aberrant bouncing occasional capitalization.  mr Ferdinand Porsche porsche Porsche.  Criminy, pick one willya.  i I i.

And they're not "spots."  Maybe patches.  Either way, it's not an animal that deserves much attention.  

A panda isn't up with fashion.  Go figure.  They aren't up with evolution, so why would they have a keen fashion sense...  Black and white suits the dead just fine, thank you.  As long as they're on track to their own personal 9th circle hereafter and aren't here, after.

Ace; quantity over quality is the order of the day.
Ring bells for service.


Congratulations, you Have just DecLared waR.

The PandAS Will fiGht
Somedays your the pigeon
Somedays your the statue