You might be from ________ if

Bubba · August 21, 2002, 11:56 hrs

YOU MIGHT BE FROM Iowa, IF...
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
3. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
4. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
5. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
6. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
7. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
8. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
9. Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
10. You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
11. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
12. You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
13. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
14. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
15. You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
16. You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
17. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
18. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
19. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
20. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
21. You can spit without opening your mouth.
22. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
23. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
24. You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.
25. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
26. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
27. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
28. You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.
29. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
30. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
31. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
32. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.
33. You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
34. You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"
35. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
36. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
37. You understand all the jokes on this list

pat · August 21, 2002, 14:08 hrs

Hmmm???.

You sure those folks aren?t from Illinois and Indiana?

Bubba · August 21, 2002, 15:22 hrs

Careful now,,,,,,,, we have the Chicago "deez-dem-n'doz" kneebuster guys.

Now Indiania,,,,,,,,,,,,all it has is a flat race track,,,,,,,,,,,,,, oh yeah,,,,,, and Cleveland

pat · August 21, 2002, 18:26 hrs

Oh now Bubba don?t go and worry me with a bunch of Chicago gangster type sissies.

You are right though, Indiana is flat and people tend to spell things with an O in front of stuff. Crazy

Oh look there?s OBubba and ONeon, Oh and look over there it?s OJoanie and OCarol and OKaren. Here?s OJohn and OChandler in OBritten.
Don?t forget ODcsun and OJedi.

Yep liven close to Indiana is scary????

Hey did you here the one about OScuzzy and OAce walking onto a building?

Bubba · August 21, 2002, 18:48 hrs

Oboy,,,,,,,,,,,,OPat is having Irish flashbacks,,,,

Joanie · August 21, 2002, 18:53 hrs

Now, OPat you know OScuzzy and OAce would never walk into a building together. That would be a NoNo. One of them would find themselves splattered all over that building but I don't know which one., maybe the Jester, maybe the Kat.

OJoanie

pat · August 21, 2002, 19:13 hrs

Oh, I don?t knOw,

It?s not to hard for me to imagine OScuzzy and OAce walking along in highly animated conversation,

and along comes this building?????.

Ace · August 21, 2002, 20:03 hrs

Oh. O O O. Oh
shut up. criminy.

Fine; have it your way: Zzy Sbourne.

Geez Louise. Possum. Whatever.

It is not flat. There are rolling prairies. Woodlands. Streams. Steel mills, northwest. So what season is it in the upper peninsula; January? And, oh yes, Michigan has a Thumb. Only state to wear a giant mitten... that's a claim to fame.

And I won't even mention Illinois or Iowa, since... well. Since I haven't been to the one and not much to the other. Michigan, I've been to. And let me tell you, they were not impressed. I mean, I wasn't. Yeah.

Ace; Indiana has a bunch of stuff; bunch of it. And being pretty flat, you can see it.

Joanie · August 21, 2002, 21:00 hrs

Quote from: pat on August 21, 2002, 19:13 hrsOh, I don?t knOw,

It?s not to hard for me to imagine OScuzzy and OAce walking along in highly animated conversation,

and along comes this building?????.

Yea, I could see that happening.

Joanie

Ace · August 21, 2002, 21:26 hrs

Scuzzy and Ace walk into a building...

and Scuzzy says, "Ow."

And then this baby seal walks into a club...

Ace; proud to be a Hoosier. stupid state resident nickname.

Neon · August 21, 2002, 22:05 hrs

It's like the TV jingle said,
"There's more than corn in Indiana
At Indiana Beach"
wherever that is. Probably on Lake Michigan. Or on the Wabash by the moonlight.

Neon ~~ Proud to be a former Hoosier and current Texan, just like my hero and lifelong role model, Robert Montgomery Knight.

pat · August 22, 2002, 05:59 hrs

Hey, is that a ?Bowling for Quantex?s game or something??

Ok, back to Michigan, besides a mitten and snow in the U. P. in July they have:
?38,575 square miles of Great Lakes water
?11,037 inland lakes.
?3,200 miles of shoreline, the longest of any state but Alaska
?36,000 miles of rivers and streams
?You are never more than six miles from a lake or stream in Michigan.
?More than 150 waterfalls.
?More than 90 percent of the Upper Peninsula's land is forested.
?There are 3.9 million acres of state forest land with about 150 campgrounds and 2.7 million acres of national forest with some 80 campgrounds.
?More than 4,000 miles of snowmobile trails.
?Mackinac Bridge: Completed in 1957, the five-mile-long suspension bridge (WORLD'S LONGEST SUSPENSION BRIDGE) connects Michigan's peninsulas across the Straits of Mackinac.
?Bull shark charter-boat fishing.

Almost makes me wish I lived in Michigan, I am however here in Michiana.

Bubba · August 22, 2002, 07:57 hrs

Oh yeah,,,,,,,
Well Illinois has,,,,,has,,,, a crook for a Governor, cornfields and the Cubs.

pat · August 22, 2002, 11:10 hrs

Well Bubba, I don?t know about them Cubbies.
Every year it?s the same thing all my Chicago area relatives get all excited and say to themselves and each other, ?This is the year, I can feel a pennant?.

Talk about a lesson in futility. :P :-X :-\ :'(

Bubba · August 22, 2002, 12:26 hrs

Hey no kiddin',,,,,, can we trade the "Flubs" for a few of your waterfalls, they are both all wet, and both start out high, then go downhill, or fall off the edge of the earth.

Ace · August 22, 2002, 14:10 hrs

I can feel a pennant.

I can; I have one on the wall of the den, from Purdue. I can feel it.

That was all nice and all about all the stuff in Michigan, and all. Let me say:
* Indiana is roughly shaped like a profile of Abraham Lincoln. Roughly.
* We pronounce Mackinac "Mackinack" and not how Michiganders do.
* In Indiana you are never more than 210 yards from flat land.
* We are the crossroads of America.
* The crossroads are known as a spiritually strange and dangerous place, and where Robert Johnson made his pact with the devil and Steve Vai, and so, well, interpret that anyway you want.
* Indiana has MacDonalds and Burger King and a few Azar's Big Boys and other sources of beef.
* Texas can keep Bobby Knight. We still have Gene Keady, whose hair and demeanor is far scarier. Especially when he smiles, or brings his wife.
* We are the crossroads of America.
* We have the ever-improving Colts, who arrived under cover of darkness and semis from Baltimore. And who shall remain until they leave one cloudless night and arrive in LA...
* We also follow the Cubs. To there, in a handbasket.
* We do not border Iowa, which would seem to be a good thing.
* We have the elusive, yet mythic land of Michiana.
* We did not embark on the equally elusive yet even more troubling land of "Indigan."
* We have a nice state flag, with a torch and a bunch of stars in gold on blue. It is; it's nice.
* Michael Jackson's from Indiana.
* Ok, look, that wasn't our fault.
* Also Janet Jackson, I think. Votes aren't in on that, as yet.
* We have large, tan, amusing peanut-eating squirrels. Well, actually, we do at my house at least.
* Indiana has black squirrels and gray ones as well as brown. That has to be worth something.
* There are no pandas remaining in the wild.

Ace; it's a very nice state with a nice slightly banked brickyard and fine Universities and also Notre Dame and part of Lake Michigan and some rivers and stuff too. :-\

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You might be from ________ if