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Ace and Chin-Chin in Jail

Started by scuzzy, March 06, 2005, 13:52 hrs

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Ace and Chin-Chin ended up in the local slammer for crimes against the state. Sitting on their bunks, the two schemed their escape.

"I've got it!" said Chin-Chin. "We can escape through the keyhole!"

"Escape through the keyhole?" laughed Ace. "You stupid ball-of-stink. I've never heard anything so idiotic in my life. It'll never work! Haven't you ever heard of the rich man vs. the eye of the needle theory? How can someone as pathetically stupid as you even have enough sense to breathe?"

"You're just jealous 'cause I thought of it first." snorted Chin-Chin.

"Fine!" responded Ace. "Do what you want you stinking, ignorant wretch. I'm taking a nap. That is, if I don't gag on your stink first. How in h*ck I ended up in the same cell with you simply defies all logic."

As Ace snoozed, Chin-Chin quietly waited for Deputy Scuzzy to complete his rounds. Once the fine deputy was out of sight, Chin-Chin went to the back of the cell, ran toward the cell door, and smashed his head against the keyhole. He fell back with a terribly hard landing.

"Huh? What happened?" asked Ace as he awoke from his deep slumber.

"Dang Scuzzy!" yelled Chin-Chin. "He must have left the key in the keyhole!"
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I know; the jail was in the land of Deja-Vu...

Geez louise, if it wasn't for my short-term memory loss, I'd be wondering about my powers of recollection, today.  Plus, playing the part of the "snoozing doofus" who misses all the action, as usual.

I would think, if I was encaged with a panda, I would find a way out.  

ACe; they coulda made it through the eye of the needle if they woulda taken the camel... idiots.
Ring bells for service.


Johnathan, why in the world of all the poasts in the poastal world did you choose this one to resurrect??  .! Geez.  It's probably #11 on the "Top 10 Poasts That Shouldn't Have."

Scuzzy promised me he'd never attempt another panda and Ace joke, particularly if set in a prison.  I then promised I wouldn't read it, if he didn't.

Ace; a panda has the chance of an Escalade of squeezing through anything...
Ring bells for service.


But you could gey through the keyhole.  Kinda like Alice and the mushrooms?

Why not pick this one.  It was there just waiting for someone to think cop jokes are still funny.  At least here.



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Well, of COURSE it was funny if you changed it to two humans.  Or even one human, and Ace.  But it isn't funny at all with a panda because

Any more than other vermin, toxic waste, refuse of our teeming shores, biohazards, medical debris or sewer run-off.

And any 81 year old who is trying to taunt a 98 year old with a panda story is just being mean.  Sorta like "Ha, ha, in 17 years I'll be you but you'll be as extinct as pandas are extinct. Stink."

I was reading a National Geographic on King Tut, which is sorta counter to the "the rich can't get to heaven/you can't take it with you" theorem.  As they figured they could dry you out and pack it in and you'd be set for the hereafter.  Now, you'd resemble Jerky and not have a whole lot of playthings left after a couple thousand years...  So, looking at the kid, I'm not seeing a lot of victory in his preparation.. just a piece of dried meat with a bad overbite and a flat head.  

If greasy fat becomes a fuel source, then pandas will serve a purpose.

Ace; probably stink more than an ethanol plant, even.
Ring bells for service.