ACE'S BACK

[Ace]

is not all that hairy, dangit.  

As Jester, I am expected to instigate I mean initiate a certain number of poasts, per year, as part of my contract.  So, it's time.

*Concern for the missing Travis (a.k.a. Dude a.k.a. Bulb Neck a.k.a. Jester in Waiting) reaches the "orange" threat level within the chatroom.  

*Attempts by the chatroom Jester to derive a poem that would allow a rhyme with "orange" are futile.

*A Michigan carpenter is startled by the first appearance by the state mascot Wolverine in two hundred years, causing him to blow off work and run to Indiana to catch a cheap matinee in fear of running into the mean spirited little monstrosity in his own neck of the woods.

*Martha Stewart is shown with the wolverine around her neck exiting the courthouse after her conviction.

*MarkH ventures to Indiana in search of bigger and better things, and finds the only high ground in the state involves venturing nearly into Illinois and Kentucky.

*THE RETURN OF THE KING
Illinois' favorite son and rube Bubba returns victoriously to the Funny Room, poasting a joke that makes fun of Hoosiers.  Residents of the state would rise up in outrage if  1. it wasn't true  2. they could leave the couch long enough to leave their "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns.

*Bubba returns to the chatroom, and poasts start getting removed and edited... Coincidence?  I think not.

*THE REFUND OF THE KING
Poaster's King Scuzzy wanders the barren dirt of his new yard, looking for signs of the completion of his new house.  Delay on his new home construction is discovered to be consternation and confusion by the developer in his vain attempts to find oak paint for Scuzzy's kitchen cabinets.

*Chatroom Multi-Name Maverick Chevy-Mayg-Steve-The Other Steve-Gunslinger finds a home and happiness in his very own chat chain "Recent Posts", causing much amusement to himself and consternation to Poaster children as another eternal poast is implemented which unfortunately mispells "poast"

*Neon attempts to kill the immortal pizza poast by introducing artichoke hearts as a topping, and banning cheese

*WADE77777, Igloo, Carsick Sheeep and other poasters whose names I can't pronounce step up to the plate in the absence of Travis, who is being investigated for steroid use

*Ace considers renaming himself "XcgroWLKDe93" to follow the current naming conventions, but decides to forego it as he figures he'd misspell it within the week.

"Ace nearly commits to a new name of "BoB" but foregoes it after figuring he'd mispell it within a week.

*Ace decides to keep to just one birthday this year, after the eternal spectacle of Scuzzy's and thinking he's getting old enough fast enough as it is

*KMart continues with the Martha Stewart Line, since nobody shops there anyway

*Papa Neon's Pizzas venture into a national market, promoting their cheeseless onion-Artichoke pie.  Customers venture away in horror and nausea.

*Ace tries in vain to poast a photo of himself in the chatroom but decides against it after Wade's attempt to also poast something horrifying is halted.

Ace; well, my work here is done.

[44mayg]

I bet your back is hairy, unless you wax it. Probably just that big old house sized wart back there, big hairs and all.

You could always put up a picture of the back of your head. At least we would know if you had hair on it or not. Might even catch a glimpse of that wart. Probably looks like a panda, that wart, it does.

And Dang it........ it's spelled right. Just like at the bottom of the page.

post. Post. POST! RECENT POSTS!

It's not my fault either. I didn't have anything to do with it.

And all records are there to give others a chance to break them. When the thread took on a life of it's own, I could see a chance to challenge that pizza poast thingy. And even if it doesn't de-throne the pizza thing, it's come in at a strong second place.

And it ain't over till it's over. I still haven't gone back and tried to turn out the lights again.

Ace; Wants to live with Scuzzy. In Colorado. Basement dweller lemming. Be a target. Wash Scuzzy's little feet. Adopt Dude.

[Igloo]

ok... well... i dont think that this makes sence, but could u prehaps forget dude, and adopt me instead?? i make a good airconditiong system!!

[trav]

I make cents!!  lots of cents!!!  and scents too! But not Scence, nope, never any of that :( ;)  and I am the Goof noone can take that away from me dagnabit!!

[Igloo]

r..i...g...h...t... you never replyed about adopting me, my offer stull stands.....

[Ace]

No.

[Igloo]

short sweet and to the point..... Y????

[Ace]

Yes.

[Igloo]

*looks stumped* :-\\

[trav]

Huh.

[iansl]

I think the short answers were the precursers (pre curse) to Ace's departure. I dunno. And I dunno either why this is the second poast on the poast office. :/