The Dead Poast

[Ace]

Dangit, Ludd, you completely lost me there and usually I do that myself.  I'm thinking "Denny Crane... who the heck is Denny Crane.. I know that name... was that the guy in Hogan's Heroes?... "  So I looked it up and thought "D'Oh!" That Denny Crane.  Criminy.

Maybe Scuzzy can make up a tune with "He'll be coming 'round the chatroom, when he comes..."  I guess hearing a dingaling before I appear is appropriate.   I haven't been on a bender, for awhile.

Ace; "for whom the bells toll".. bell tolls....

[Bill]

Must be a first! A reference so obscure and trivial even Ace was stumped.  
Thats as good as it gets!
Jack

Is Scuzzy a gifted musician or ...?
I thought he gave away used stuff like Citations and appliances.

[Ace]

No, Scuzzy isn't a gifted musician.  Or magician.  Neither.  

He isn't anything, usually.  Including "here."

He's a constable on patrol and a constant reminder of why I'm not.  Who.  Where.  When.  What.  All of those, not.

He tried a rhyme once, about myself, back in the golden days of the chatroom.  I retorted with an iambic pentameter ode to his cat.  It went downhill from there.  We didn't have smileys back then to convey our true emotions... just hand-drawn ones, as primitive glyphs of our inner beings.

:^{0

He doesn't give away anything...  The yard's full of appliances for that reason.  You'd think he'd try a yard sale.  Of course, if he sells the yard, he wouldn't have any place to put them.

Ace; who's Jack?  I don't know Jack.  

[trav]

Well, even so...this doesnt relate to Scuz, but I WANT TO BE A JESTER!!!  :P

[pat]

I WANT TO BE A JESTER!!!  :P

I can only think of one possible response to that.

Why?

[scuzzy]

Well, even so...this doesnt relate to Scuz, but I WANT TO BE A JESTER!!!  :P

You can't. As a rule, jesters don't normally use smilies.  :-X

[Ace]

Well, as a rule, Jesters don't follow rules, either.

But Scuzzy's right about the smiley thing.  We abhore smileys.  Abhorr? Abwhore?  (ABwhoreAaware, by Lavvahot, makers of AdAwarn; it will remove those pesky tramps from the sidewalk outside your XP Home...)Mostly because it took me I mean us about a year and a half here to even figure out how to work them.  Plus, being as wordy as we tend, we're not about to use some dang simplistic yellow grinning bulb emoticon thingy when perfectly good words would do.  Or even not so perfectly words.

And to reinforce Pat's sentiments; really.  Whattya, nuts?

And criminy, Trav, you had your chance.  I gave you the keys to the dang jingling cap when I took off back around Easter.  I said, here you go, go be the stinking jester.  And you balked.  And then, you said you would.  That would be the mistake.  It was a trick question, see?  If you hadn't agreed to do it, then you could have.  But since you said you would, that proved you weren't yet appropriate for the role.  So you weren't allowed.  Aloud.

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.  That would not be you.  At least not yet.  Nyet  That would be me.  I know the pitfalls, the stopgaps, the ins and outs, the foibles, the roller coaster ride of emotions being Jester entails.  

I also know there isn't a stupid key to the cap.  Geez Louise, pay attention.   You gotta start learning this stuff if you're ever going to step in as the Resident Fool.

And, less anyone forget, people here may act foolishly at times, or daily, but there's only one Full Fool on the premises.  

Ace; the fool who's full of it.  Foolery.  Fooly full.

[Bill]

Well, let's get one thing perfectly clear: I don't want to be the Jester, or the janitor.  Much too much work, the pay stinks and I hate hats with bells.

Not fond of over zealous admins. either.

[Ace]

Well, now, hold on just a minute there.

(I said that with a Jimmy Stewart accent).

I'M a dang administrator... it says so on my badge, right by my twitching freaking stars.  I am a Full Fool Administrator.  And I approach my job with GREAT ZEAL.

I am as zealous as anyone.  People get jealous because I'm so zealous.  I am a zealot from the word "go."

Go on.. someone say "go."  I'll show ya.

I bolt from my desk and hurl from my chair and leap from my feet just to proclaim the Good News Of Jesterdom.  And, yes, that's how you spell "dom".  Dangit.

I go whole hog and full force and full speed and low bandwidth (I'm on  dial up, you know) and no holds are barred and all systems are go.  I can jest till the cows come home.  

Plus, if we'd just add an administrator whose sole function is to keep kids out we could get away with a lot more stuff.  Just card them, check ID's, send the little ones outside to play.

I know we might lose Trav in the process, but that's the price you pay for adults-only pay for poast.  You win some, you lose some.

Personally, I'll miss Travis... I missed ThatFridayGuy for awhile, too, until he came back.  But now that he's left again I miss him, again.

Ok; then.  Zeal is Good.  Heck, it rhymes with "veal" and that's good.  

Ace; Zeal; it's the Real Deal

[Bill]

Not going to say"g-", I'm afraid what  your reaction might be.  Certainly would want you to "g-"as in out the door, or as in "leave".  Then you'd have to come back.

Some zealots make the world go around.

[Ace]

Well, no.  I wouldn't expect you to say "g".  

As far back as I can remember, I don't recall any poaster ever saying "g."  If I drink a corona fast, I sorta go "g g g g g g."  But not just one "g."  Maybe if I slice a golf ball and see if heading for the railroad tracks, I'd go "g."  Usually, then, I'd follow with (##)(!!%&@.  

Shoot, I shoulda asked Buffalo to step in and say "!(@Y@^^$$" for me.  Dangit.

I think maybe one time Trav had a poast that went
g :-* ;D :D
but it might have been k  :o ;) :) instead.

"K" is more used, as by teenagers expressing acceptance. "g" is just more of a guttaral hitch.  I pronounce it "guh" with the tongue doing the pop on the soft palate.  I like pop on my soft palate, but corona more.

Ace; I haven't studied linguistics for years.   :-\ I still don't care for smileys, much.

[iansl]

I'm finally back from gallavanting around the wilderness for five or so days, and I came back with a FranklinCovey planner. Wish it was computerized, as I now am renting a Palm Zire 72. Ah well. I guess I'll just have to take the planner to class every Thursday until the next break (this is a break day). Unfortunately, the computerized version I think costs a bunch, probably even with the school discount that I'd get. It also doesn't work except with Outlook, and I consider Outlook malicious bloatware (I use Palm Desktop), so I wouldn't be able to use it anyway the way I'd want.

As to Trav being a jester, let him for a few days. Give him the title "Jester's apprentice", show him the caveats of being a jester, give him a carbon copy of your life. Except maybe not for the shoes and the cap. That'd hurt.

Well, gotta go. It's luch. I record-broke on typing this one (upwords, er, upwards, of 80 wpm, maybe even 110). But it still wasn't enough to cram everything I wanted to say into the small period of time I had to say it...so so long, and Custard-style Yoplait yogurt is the best...

[Ace]

Well, yes, if you're going to leave out letters of course you can type fast.  Maybe after luch you can have dinr.  Criminy.

I agree on the custard Yoplait.  It is.

Look; nobody is gonna carbon date my life.  Criminy, we don't have the time.  The shoes don't hurt that much; as long as you get them so the curve is past your toes, and not "on" them.

Now, Scuzzy's shoes would hurt.

If Trav wants the key to the cap, it's his.  I wonder if Stephen Covey uses a FranklinCovey planner.  I guess.

Ace; I'm gonna go galavanting in the wilderness too, first drive off the fairway.

[iansl]

He probably has all four types of planners, from the huge bumbly Monarch (come on now, Monarch Computer, sue them ;)) to the teeny pocket version. I have the compact version. Of course, It'd be nice to have a computerized version, but outlook has too mny bugs to use instead of even a monarch ;). As you can see, I use Palm Desktop for my palm, not Outlook. Gotta go now.

[Bill]

'K, ian said "go". Be zealous or a zealot or a Yopliat, just don't be custer, he was shot by Indians.  Was that in Indiana?

What have you against emoticons ???
Some folks use them all the time ;D
And some folks use a lot of them-

I  think we don't need any more monkey jokes or monkeys right now.
geez, Crikey

[Ace]

Monkey jokes are dead, in a dead poast.

Hey; dead monkey jokes!  Those are the best.  I wish we had monkey emoticons; see no/hear no/say no/spell no... the whole group.  Even smell no and get your dang hands I mean paws off no.

I don't actually eat Yoplait.  Just, if I did, I'd choose the custard kind.  And, no, Custer didn't go down in Indiana.  First thing is, it's hard to find a hill to hide behind.  Secondly, we marched all the original Hoosiers I mean Indians outta here.  One of those death march things, that the welcoming committee threw together when they moved in.  That's why we have a Pottawattami Park but no Pottawattamis in great numbers.  Although they did a pow wow this weekend.  I'm against death marches, at least in principle, unless it's used for pandas.  For them, run'em right off a mountain side.  Just warn the people below first.

I don't use the Monarch for planning.  At work, I usually use the agenda from the meeting for making notes.  Then I lose it.  Or Post-It notes; I'll plan on those, and slap them around.  The rest I just keep in my head, instead of an electronic device.  You can imagine how slow downloads are, for me.

Ace; I know, I don't use technology often or well.  And, no, I'm not going to call myself a "l....."   Not when somebody else already took the name.  I call myself a bunch of things, but that one's reserved.

[Nestor]

Kill this thing dead. NOW.

Hi! I'm back but gone again, until friday. Wute! as we say in the biz, because it's not n00bish or 1337 like w00t or woot.

ThatGuy; wute, don't pollute.

[Ace]

Well, I personally like Woot.  I mean, Teen Girl Squad says "Woot" and Wade said "Woot" and that's goot enough for me.

Sehr Gut means "my gut" I think.

You know, I've heard of 6 pack abs, but my brother in law must be going for a pony keg.

Ace; this poast can't die, because we won't let it.  We're like the mortician that keeps going "HEY!  WAKE UP!  HEY!!"

[Bill]

Woot is good.  Its almost a top line word, but it isn't.  If it were, it would be "2995".  Now if those were letters it'd be a top line word.  
Crikey.

There is nothing wrong with calling yourself "l.....", or "el" or "ell" for that matter.  'Course what the connection is between not using technology and calling yourself "el" is beyond me. But then, a lot is.

Some technology just doesn't work for some people, or vice versa.  Kinda like the "Peter principle".  Hey if Post-It Notes suffice why use a mainframe?

Ever wonder what will happen to all the paper clips in the world when everything is really paper-less?  Same thing happened to banking pins?

[Ace]

Microsoft tried to introduce an electronic paperclip into the paperless computer environment...  a sorta cartoon-talking-helpful little paperclip.

I slammed the cloying helpful little jerk with my fist.

Then I got the new monitor, and learned to right-click and hide him.  I hope he's hiding where pandas hide, as they await death.

As far as Peter, I'm pretty sure I've reached my level of incompetence in all manner of things.  I think being called El is kinda cool, though.  Especially if the El is followed by Conquistador.  I could go for that.

You'd think people would try to stick up banks with bank pins, so maybe that's why there aren't any around.

Ace; I gotta remember that when 2995 comes around.  It's gonna be a big year, apparently.

[Bill]

"El  Conquistador", as in conqueror, master, victor, winner?  
More likely "El Farceur" !

Or "El Jester" def2.:One who subverts convention or orthodoxy or varies from social conformity.... who typically demonstrates an outspoken passion against the continuing existence of pandas or other stinky creatures.

[Ace]

Or Le Jester.  I took French, so that's ok too.  I gotta look up "farceur".  I hope that isn't some gastronimical distress reference...  I don't think I'd care to be referred to, as that, then.

I like being Unorthodox.  If it was still the Olympics, I'd try for Greek Unorthodox.

Ace; or geek unorthodox, here.

[Bill]

Given your mastery of BIOS  and other assorted high tech planning technology, I think "geek", in this context, doesn't apply very well.

"gastronimical" ???  Sounds like something that should be referred to Buffalo in his new role as avante garde poaster of risky stuff.

Le Farceur sounds perfect.
Even that looks like a keyboardo- borrowing a Jesterism!

[Ace]

That's what makes me an Unorthodox Geek.  I am the anti-geek.  I am so far from a geek, I'm a ... a keeg.  As Trav would spell, staring into his mirror.

And look, dangit, the dang Bios mishap only happened that one time.  It was a long time, as it turned out.  I mean, if they don't want you to play around in there, they oughta lock the dang keyboard when it boots, you know?  I tried to flash it, even, but then figured I oughta quit because I had the shutters open on the window over my computer desk.  It's a sorta faux Scandinavian computer desk, if I hadn't mentioned previously.  But it was nice of you to say I've mastered that thing I do with the BIOS when things are working pretty well and I decide to change them.   This week, I spent an hour downloading the latest nVidia drivers from their site.  And then found my Links 2003 game wouldn't play at all, as the monitor stuck on some bizarre resolution it couldn't, and I couldn't get INTO the game to change its video setup... And Madden 2003 looked worse.  So I rolled back to the previous ones, and it's ok.  

The used to make Avantis in South Bend.  And they had guards at the Studebaker plant.

Maybe Buffalo could poast something really risque, or risky, here, and kill this poast.  That'd be a two-fold accomplishment.  Probably his poasting future, too, but somebody's gotta step up and take one for the home team on occasion.  If he gets banned for it, we can do a commemorative series of poasts like "Where'd Buffalo go? Huh." or "Was Buffalo the same as Bubba?" or "Are Igloo and Iansl the same person(s)?" or "How many dang JIms are there, anyway?" or "Why would someone name their cat 'Buffalo'...?" and wish him well.

Well.

I like coming here, because you never know what's next.  It's like a Restaurant (French) where you might get soup for breakfast, or ham and macarroni on your grilled cheese, or the french fries (not French) dumped in your lap.  Who can say?

Ace; I think gastronomical is a combination of gas, and astronomical.

[Bill]

Well they needed guards to protect the award winning style-certainly borrowed from plans from  a WWI torpedo.  Avantis, P1800s, gull-wing Delorens. ah, those were the days, to quote Mr. Bunker.  Speaking of gas-

I am glad to hear you were able to get the drivers resolved.  Otherwise we'd be going through another series of "Where's ACE?" - enough already.
American fries, or deep fried fries or "chips" if you will, if you please but not in my lap, thankyou.

[trav]

I WANT TO BE A JESTER!!!  :P

I can only think of one possible response to that.

Why?

Because...uhhh.....you know? I dont know...heh heh heh......Crimminy..... Im trying to lay off of the smilies as well, so thats good!

[trav]

And, thats not true, Scuzzy,

:P

:o !! :P

[trav]

Personally, I'll miss Travis... I missed ThatFridayGuy for awhile, too, until he came back.  But now that he's left again I miss him, again.

"I'll"? Does that mean its happening??


Nooo! :o! If i left, or had to leave, id be soo sad! I'd miss all of you! :(

[Ace]

Oh, and we would miss your smiling face.

Faces.

too.

Ace; we would.  ;D

[Nestor]

Dangit, shoot, criminy, and gorsh! Can't you let this thing die?

ThatGuy1079; I'm sounding like Ace, now.