EXCERPTS FROM KERRY'S CONCESSION SPEECH

[Ace]

I believe I'll have Vienna Sausage with pickle and onions, nachos, and a large Coke."

(concession stand.. get it?  Ok, never mind)

I actually voted for President Bush before I voted against him

I've seen the President photographed on one of those fast boats too, you know.

I feel particular empathy for the people of Iowa.  Mostly because they have to live in Iowa.

I would think we could have waited for the Ohio votes to be counted, but apparently there was a vocal minority here in the states as well as in Great Britain clamoring for an early concession.  Apparently they wanted the whole thing over with before Wheel of Fortune came on Wednesday.

My staff assures me that the Ohio vote would not significantly have changed the results, due to the fact that it would take longer to canvass Ohio for all ballots than it would to count the grains of sand on every beach.  Twice.  Geez Louise, they oughta just call Ohio the "Continent between Indiana and Pennsylvania".

Ohio is the only state that requires air travel to play in-state rivals.  And even then they have a lay-over.

Where the heck is Cheney, anyway?  Anyone seen him?

Yassar Arafat is hovering between life, and death.  Most of the rest of us are stumbling around between birth and death.

I was really shocked when I first saw him arriving at the hospital... I thought "Geez Louise, what's wrong with Ringo and why's he going to a hospital in Paris..?"

They think he might be brain dead, so I'm wondering "How can you tell...?"  The Israelis offered to bury him, but his supporters asked that they hold off until he's actually dead.

I know there are some out there who hoped for a short concession speech... Criminy, I'm a senator, ok?  That'd be like asking a Jester to show some restraint while keyboarding.  Or a fat-pantsed squirrel to stick to just two peanuts for breakfast.

No, I didn't eat the dang goose yet.  I know mine's cooked, but I didn't shoot the thing to eat it.  It's a photo op, okay?  Anyway, it was Canadian, so no great loss.  Probably would have to have a Molson's with it, eh?  Heh.

All in all, I'm ok with not winning the election... I think after the mess the President's made of things here and abroad, he deserves to be the one to clean it up.  And I've still got a job to go back to, although it's tiring to talk that much every stinking day.  Plus, my wife's rich.  She's a bit batty, but heck, she's rich.  I know after some of her comments people probably wondered "What the heck.. is she brain dead, or what?"  And, you know, how can you...?"

Ace; I think I just saw the first political ad for 2008

[pat]

How can you, what?
I think I missed that part.

Nice reiteration though.
Thanks for that.  ::)

[scuzzy]

Oh, great. Another tale left unfinished by Ace.

How can you... do brain surgery?

How can you... tell the difference between Ace and Scuzzy?

How can you... build the world a home, and furnish it with love?

[Ace]

I'll never

TELL

Ace; subtlety is lost on the literal.  Illiteral.

[trav]

How can you have a poast about building a computer without actualy building it??

Ohh...its posible, trust me  ::)  :P

[Buffalo2102]

I heard on the radio that Yasser Arafat is in Acoma just outside of Paris.  I've never heard of it and I can't find it on the map......

Trav.  That Briteny Spears doesn't sound too brite to me.

[scuzzy]

Actually, I believe Yessir Arab Fat is in a comma,,,,,,,,,,,,,, somewhere near Bubba's house. But I can't find it on the map, either.

[pat]

Yikes, Ace.
You don?t have to shout.

I hit my head on the back of my chair.
I did, really.

[Ace]

Cool. Take a picture.

Ace; I think a margarita would numb the pain.