Overly Long Bar Joke

[Bill]

http://tinyurl.com/8e3h6

Now then, I've set the stage....let's get back to Biff/Tina/Sick Doctors/ Mounted Monkeys/et. al.

Bill; you start, I'll correct the mispeled words

[Buffalo2102]

Yeah.  And try not to hit your head this time....

Buff;  a big No Parking sign out the front would help.

[Bill]

Yeah, leave the gas-hog home, or at least out of the way of flying patrons.  

The local cop is also relentless and we wouldn't want anyone to face CWI charges, be brought before the Bar and face the wrath of the Jester's  er Queen's court.

B-

[Ace]

I'll "er" you...

Nice bar.  Great place for a long, cool one.  Instead of Coyote Ugly, I guess they'd go with Dachsund Ugly.

Ace; to er is human; to forgive, divine.  And don't be comparing me to him/her.

[Bill]

Looks nice but somehow the idea of an "Island" in Ohio seems a bit of a stretch.  The Island is in the lake, after all.  The idea that the lake is "in" Ohio is more of a construct than reality.  

Humph! Crikey.

Bill; just "rubbish".

[Ace]

A lake would be in Ohio like a rain drop would be in the solar system.

Now, if Johnny was here, he could explain that.  

I was going for "inane" but I guess rubbish would do.  I feel like the expression on your Eggo avatar.  That one is too cool; I don't know how you pull those things out of wherever you pull them out of it.  Me, it takes 20 stupid minutes posing an egg on the stove top and then having to edit the dang shot just to make it presentable.  And even then it looks like an out-take from 2001.

Or "Alien."

I saw a story today that being fat at 40 could lead to dementia...  I didn't read further.

Ace; like, who could tell...

[Bill]

Well, thanks, I think.  Google images is the answer.  The really hard part, and the fun, was trying to tie the image to the eggs and your two footnotes for Revelations.  Surprising we haven't seen the Sword yet, but then it's not over.

"At that time shall Michael rise up, the great prince, who standeth for the children of thy people."

Bill; the End of Poast.

[Buffalo2102]

Wow, this poast is getting deep.

Buff; never mind the overly long joke, where's the bar?

[Ace]

Maybe we can get a litre of Merlot.  And a long straw.  

That'd be something; a bar joke with a doctor and monkeys and Armageddon.  That sounds like the makings of something special.  Memorable, even.

Indiana is facing the Beginning of Days.  And saving of them.  We've passed the Daylight Savings Bill (named for "Bill.").  Now, we're debating WHICH daylight savings to opt for: Eastern or Central.  One would put us with Chicago, and Bubba.  In that order.  One with Michigan, and Ohio (which you'd think would have 3 separate time zones, due to its immense girth) and I think Kentucky, if they actually tell time down there.  Eastern would gain an hour of extra daylight at night, and basically keep us where we have been during the winter.  Central would keep us where we are now in the Summer, and lose an hour of daylight at night in the Winter.  To me, it already gets dark enough too early in the Winter (around 5:00 and later) so who needs darkness at 4:30, you know?  I'd just as soon add the summer one and leave the rest alone.  Eastern woud put me on the same time as Pat, too, if not the same page.  That would assist us in setting a date for a margarita, if not a time.

Of course, the high point of the sun ("noon") would be 2 pm.  I'm usually a little slow anyway, so probably wouldn't bother me that much.

Ace; I'd hate to change my clocks.  I couldn't afford any more.

[Bill]

The other option, of course, would be to opt for PDT.  Or, better yet, go with Buff.

Ianians have been out of sync. for so long, it wouldn't be that much of an adjustment.  And it would certaily be easier to coordinated your Poastings.

Bill; I don't wear a watch.

[Buffalo2102]

No good going with Buff if you don't want it dark at 4:30.  It gets dark here that early in the winter.  Sounds like you need to "winter" in Antarctica - constant daylight.

Buff; enlightening

[Ace]

If I wanted to live in Antartica I'd just slip across the state line into Michigan.  I suppose the merger of Indiana and that could be Indianartica.  Indiarctiantartica.  

I suppose I'll just stay put.  

Ace; I'm gonna need more coffee just to pronounce my poasts today.

[Bill]

You never "stay put". You're gone now.

Speaking of stories, I saw a story today that said 40lbs overweight ain't all that bad.  Guess you're safe.

Bill; bring on the cheesburgers.

[Bill]

If he knew, he wouldn't rely on you to explain it.
 
Like a breath in a tornado....

Bill; you mispelled AWOL.

[Ace]

You know, the more I look at that puppy the more it looks like a Badger...

Bill, loan me the Michelin Man and I can poast "I really do look like that" underneath.

And as far as the 40 lbs; what about the other leg?

Heh.  Now I'm pulling my own.

Ow.  I forgot that's the one I hurt in the war.

Ace; during the food fight.

[Bill]

The Miche er Tire Guy was second choice.  I went looking for the giant size Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man but, alas....  "Fat Albert" would have been OK too.
But a bit obvious, like the spare tire.

Bill; I didn't see you there with John.  Musta been under the table.

[Ace]

Oh, and this from the kid holding a Badger.  Criminy, couldn't you find a nice cuddly Wolverine to hold and pet?  

I wish I could poast my childhood pics.  I'd do the one in my Superman costume, and the one in my Zorro costume, and the one where I'm sitting on the couch in a fedora with my arms crossed in consternation...

The problem with digital pics is they're all current.  I'd have to put on the tights and my big S and cape and

Ok; hold it.  I'm sorry... just the thought of that cracked me up.  I mean, if you could imagine...   Yeah, and put a Badger on my head and go as "Daniel Boone"... right.

Ace; I guess there's a reason Jesters aren't superheros.  Duh.

[Bill]

Now that would be an interesting "self-portrait".  'Course you could substitute a "J", and use an apron.  That would bring it up to date.

Bet you didn't many "treats" being "consternated".

Bill:  you're being "watched".

[Ace]

Who's constipated?  I don't know if that's an appropriate topic for a family forum, with kids present.

Well, Johnny the Kid present.  I don't know what happened to the badger; now he's camping.  I would think while camping you'd want to avoid the dang badgers, let alone the wolverines.  

My digital photos are pretty current.  Heck, I've only had the thing for a couple years.  And not like I'm going to dress in short pants and a tee shirt and wear some tennis shoes and white socks like some kid from

hold it.  Hold on a minute... shorts... tee shirt...white socks...

Ok. Not before tonight, when I get home from work.  Not a dang minute before then.

Ace; I'm 21st century, dangit.

[Ace]

J'Oh; and don't think we didn't notice you changing your name, again.  I wish I could see that photo better, because it looks like you're tying the puppy to the tent post.

And, no, I didn't mispell "poast."  Criminy, it's a homonym.  Homophone.  There are so many punchlines taunting me, right there, I'm not even going to go with a joke.

The longer the bar, the more frequent it gets swept.  Which would be a frequency sweep.

Ace; boy, is it early here, even if we are still losing daylight.

[Ace]

Well, Hello Quad.  I guess if you're Quad I'm "Hamstring."

Bill can be "Abs."

You know, I look at that Quad with all the zeroes zeros 0s and I'm humming "I've got plenty of nothing... and nothing's plenty for me."

I suppose Quad Jr. would be 0001.

Ace; I'm glad I don't change my name all that often.

[Bill]

Ok, look. I haven;t been absent or abs., as it might show up on the attendance record.  I've been here several, no, many times today.   Where were you, huh?

Just because you have to work is no dang excuse.  I'm here now, so there.

Jeanne (French?) is better than naming him "Sue".  

Bill; I just call junior  "lazy" when he's here.  "Hey, it;s your dang dog, take him for a walk."

[Ace]

No, I didn't mean you're absent makes my heart grow fonder.  I meant "Abs" as in "6 pack."  Or whatever serving size.  I figured that was a nicer muscle group to apply to you than going with "Gluteus" or "Bicep."

I hardly ever notice who's not here when I'm gone.

It is poetic justice that a poaster would not recognize himself under an alias.  Well, prose justice.

ace; right now it's just us.

[Bill]

OK, so now, not only am I "gone", I am presumed to be "thick" and drinking too much!   Geez.   Hours of scanning the rooms, looking for some place to "contribute" and to awake to such..  Wait   Not absent?   Muscle?  Between my ears maybe, certainly not anywhere else.

Biil;  I really prefer semicolons anyway.

[Buffalo2102]

I'm not thick either - I like to say "well built".  I might drink too much, but too much for what?  I definitely haven't been AWOL - I had permission.  Anyway, I've been popping in but just haven't really had time to poast.

I'm working really hard at the moment to help implement a Video on Demand solution for the cable company I work for.  Can't really see the end at the moment (which is not a reference to how fat I am).

Buff;  What a zero.  Well, four of them.

[Bill]

Never seen a sunrise here.  These seem to be enclosed rooms without a window on the world.  Unless you're in the WatchTower, then you get to look at Murphy, and a tree.

Bill; subterranean blues.

[Ace]

I wasn't homesick.  I was more worksick.  Actually, now that the Birch has blossomed (little leaves and brown worm like things) it's harder to spot much of anything out the window.  Unless a squirrel or cardinal plops itself right outside.  Murphy's taken to mowing his grass every 3 days, and then watering it inbetween.

Seems unclear on the concept.

I have to go to Graduation tonight.  All staff.  And have to dress in the gown and stupid mortarboard and "colors" for the degree and blah blah blah.  Criminy, I hate graduations.  I didn't attend my own.  And now I have to go serve at other people's.  Plus drive an hour there and back to attend.  On a Friday night.

Sweet.  

aCe; like the dilly bar stick when the dilly bar is gone.

[Bill]

And find a place to park and then fight with the celebratory crowd when it;s over.

You really an hour away.  I thought ND was "around the corner"

"Colors" for your degree or their;s?  Which one to you pick if its University wide?

Bill; My parents went, I was high, I think.

[Ace]

Geez Dome DeLouise, no, not ND.  ND's is next week.  I have no affiliation with ND.  Just the living down the street.  Pretty much most of my life.  And I sure don't need to be affiliated with a place known for a big golden dome shining in the sunlight.  That's why I wear the cap.

I made it back.  It's one of those trips that, no matter how many Mapquest cheat sheets you have, the streets can turn you around.  This year I picked the right street, and discovered it's a one way.  Wrong way.  

My degree.  This year I chose the Masters, with the funky sleeves with the little extra hangy thingy on each one.  So your arm sorta sticks out of the middle.  And the blue and gold neckerchief (in Cub Scout lore).  I did get caught in the milling crowd when I stopped to use the Joh sorry Bathroom before heading home.  It was 30 miles, one way.  So 60 miles, both ways.  I sure wasn't gonna stay over.

Ace; ask me why a Masters degree is better than a Doctorate.

[Bill]

Ok, why is a Masters Degree better than a Doctorate?

Geez, used to More of the Same and Piled on Highter & Deeper.

Bill