More Good Ideas

[Bubba]

Gosh, I hope Ace has not already posted these before,,,,,
I am feeling like Milton Berle.


"Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm stupid".

That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?  You  wouldn't ask them
anything.  It would be like, "Excuse me ... oops ... never mind, didn't see
your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved.  Our house was full of boxes and
there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway.  My neighbor comes over and
says, "Hey, you moving?"  "Nope.  We just pack our stuff up once or
twice a week to see how many boxes it takes.  Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of  mine.  We pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of  bass and this
idiot on the dock says, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"  "Nope.  Talked
'em into giving up.  Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit.  And there's only one way
to test it.  "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good.
They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts
when they bite you."  "Well, all right, but hold my sign.  I don't wanna
lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations.  The attendant walks out, looks at my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?"  I couldn't
resist.
I said, "Nope.  I was driving around and those other three just swelled
right up on me.  Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago.  A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes.  We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe,
then says, "Darn that's hot!"  See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could
have stopped him.

This is my favorite - really made me chuckle.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of  adventure.  Wouldn't you
know, I misjudged the height of a bridge.  The truck got stuck and I
couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried.  I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report.  He went through his
basic questioning.  Okay ... no problem.  I thought for sure he was clear
of needing a sign until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?"  I couldn't
help myself!  I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to
him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge.  Here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said,
"Are you still here?"  I replied, "No.  I left about 10 minutes ago.
Here's
your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today?  Send this to all your friends.  The
next time someone says something stupid ask them where they left their sign

[Ace]

No, I didn't.  Somebody did, but I didn't.

Shoot, you look like Milton Berle.  

Those were good though, even for a re-run.  Have a beer.  Heck, have 8.  

Ace; my sign is Pisces.  I wouldn't deserve a "stupid" sign, if there was such a thing. JRah would suggest "idiot", but not a stupid sign.

[Joanie]

Could it be that all Pisces are Idiots?

JRah

[Ace]

Well, let's see.... Pisces include:

Galileo, Rex Harrison, Quincy Jones, Nat King Cole, Albert Einstein, Harry Belafonte, Chopin, Bruce Willis, Shaquille O'Neal, Edgar Cayce, Caruso, Sidney Poitier, Voltaire, Washington, Nureyev, Renoir, Kurt Russell, David Niven, Ted Kennedy, Fats Domino, Billy Crystal, Ron Howard, George Harrison, Jerry Lewis, Tony Randall

Yeah, that Al Einstein was a dunce.. Chopin; yep.  Galileo; what a maroon.  Will withold judgment on Shaq, and Bruce.

Jerry, I could do without.  Jabba the Lewis....

Ace; I'm in fine company. Huh.

[K. Roberts]

I wouldn't want Ted K. on my list.

[Ace]

Well, no.  I would agree.

Unless it's an ad for Beetles, or something edible.  Otherwise: no.

Ace; definitely would sink if he went in, now.