Holy Geez..Eddie Bauer

[Bill]

In another poast somewhere, or a distant galaxy far, far away, I mentioned we  purchased an old Explorer for the daughter to drive back to Nawlin's.  Big enough to carry the new refridgerator and some essentials but smaller than an 18 wheeler.

Off we go this morning to the not so local franchised mechanical and brake repair shop ( I don't really want to say PepBoys for fear of creating an endorsement, but there is also one in N.O. and their guarantees are terrific)  to have this beast checked out and provide critical repairs for the 1800 mile drive back.   Fearing the worst, we left the beast with the Service Guy and trundled off for breakfast, leaving the cell number for authorization for the anticipated repairs.   A half hour goes by and the eggs and sausage are great, no call.  An hour goes by, I'm tired of sitting in the stupid booth with the faux flowers.  I suggest we mosey back to see how many pieces of the beast are laying on the garage floor.  

We hit the parking lot and, lo and behold, the beast is sitting there, in a different space.   Heading for the Service Desk with my best "Why didn't you call us or would you rather just make the repairs and argue later"  attitude, I squared my  shoulders,  put on my game face and prepared to do battle with the guy responsible for spending my daughter's money without asking first.

He looked at me and said "Smile, we couldn't find anything wrong to spend your money on.  The Eddie Bauer Explorer is in great shape.  We couldn't even justify new brake pads.  The bill is $42.95."

Needless to say, I was nonplussed.  I managed "Thanks" as we paid the bill.

Before closing I must comment on the purchase.  We had been looking for days.  We wound up at a dealership in a low income town, after looking at several for sale by owner trucks, none of which impressed me in the $1500-2000 range.  The salesman (yes, it was a man) said "I'm sure we have something for you"  Surprise, surprise.  Well, I was wrong.  
We told the man the story and that the truck needed to be OK for the trip to N.O.  15 minutes later, out comes this Explorer.

The dealership paid the sales tax, registered the truck in Lousiana, agreed to pay the Lousiana use tax for out of state vehicles, filled up the gas tank, washed and cleaned a very dirty truck and generally did everything they could to make the sale easy.  The 1993 Explorer now belongs to the daughter for a bottom line, all in payment of $1,000.   We drove off the lot in about 2 hours.

If the dang thing makes it, I will, maybe, begin to believe, again.

B-

[Ace]

That is one sweet story.  Heartwarming.  Dramatic.. nailbiting.. tense.. Great plot, characters; excellent detail on the scenery and setting... Cool plot twists... inspirational theme.  Great use of dialect in dialogue ("mosey") and foreign terms ("faux") for character development.  Only one typo, but I'm thinking "refridgerator" is an Eastern term for icebox.

Not at all humourous, but still a great read.  

You know, it does make one wonder where "PepBoys" got that name...  I could think of ja and Halo as the "pepboys" when they get wound up, here.  

I think of B and me more as a the "LaconicBoys" or "LetharGicBoys" some days.  Well, I speak for myself.  Usually.  Sometimes I channel Oshikuru, a 15th Century Warrior, but that doesn't happen as much these days.  (Who's the guy who had to die?  Oshikuru!)

I think updates would be great on the travelogue of her journey back home to N.O. L.A.  Hope it's a smooth drive and stress free.  You guys deserved a break, after the trauma of the last month.  And good for Eddie Bauer; I'm glad he came through.  Probably better than a Bill Blass edition, and certainly a better deal than an Armani.

Ace; I looked at Armani suits once in Chicago; they didn't have price tags.  I finally figured out why.

[Ace]

Hey; maybe it's the same vehicle..!

Ace: oops

[Bill]

Well that is reassuring, although the CARFAX report said it was a NJ vehicle.

Geez, I've got my fingers crossed.

I will poast as to her progress.

Thanks, all.

Bill

[Ace]

I bet we'll have quite a market for nice condition N.O. cars up this way soon enough.  Squish.

Hey, make sure she doesn't head back by way of Ohio.  That'll add a week...

Ace; I've got my toes crossed.  Ow; I got a cramp.

[Bill]

I'll pass along your advice, although listening to Dad is a questionable skill.

This morning was spent at Sam's Club, foraging for supplies. By the time she's ready, she'll need a trailer.

Bill  

[Ace]

I like trailers, although a lot of time they show too much of the movie... Or they show all the best parts, and when you watch the thing there's nothing else to it.

Heck, if I knew she was going to Sam's Club I woulda had her get a Johnny Walker Black for me.  We've only got one card for there, and my wife carries it.  I don't think we've even been there this year.

I suppose there's a lot of stuff she'll need, for back home.  like a case of Lysol.  Probably a shopvac.  Towels.  Sawdust... sandbags.  A new mop.   Febreze, for the dog.

You know, no kidding, this friend of my dad's once Febrezed her dog.  It was cold out, and she didn't want to bathe it, so figured that would "freshen" it.  It died that week.

Ace; m-a-r-o-o-n

[Bill]

Trailers on TV are as close as I ever get to the movies.   Too dang expensive and my shoes are always sticky afterward.  

Bill

[Ace]

No, I don't go either.  I've gotten very intolerant of people talking during movies.  Unless it's me.  And the floor glue thing is objectionable.  I've got carpet, here.  I just buy the ones I want.  I don't even bother to rent, anymore.  

We saw "The Grudge" last week.  I'll tell ya, if you put the woman and kid from there with the girl crawling outta the well from The Ring and plopped them into the primordial sludge of N.O.

and then pulled the plug and flushed them down the world would be a better place...  Not only am I NEVER going down into a well to see whom may be down there, I'm not even gonna go up in the attic ever ever ever.  Geez Louise, that was one hideous ghost(s).

I like scary movies.  One of the first DVD's we bought was the newer "Planet of the Apes."

ace; I don't like monkeys.

[Bill]

Just to satisfy my curiosity...do you watch them over and over again?   Renting seems like a more effective use of money.  

[Ace]

YES!!

No, really.  I buy movies I know I'll like/love and watch repeatedly.  Plus, at $10-15 on average, a couple movies matches the rental fee and beats the in-seat price.  So, like CD's, I only purchase what I know I'll really really want to (re)view.

I just got the Cream DVD of the Albert Hall reunion series.  I lived them, and love to hear/see them back.  They're old, but they ROCK!  I got "Disraeli Gears" as my 8th grade graduation gift...

Mostly, I got tired of going to Hollywood Video and traipsing through the sticky floors and wavering rental fees.  Plus, I don't like to "have" to watch something within a time frame.  Of course, the problem we're having is this backlog of purchased flicks we can't seem to get to... Next up is "Hitchhiker's Guide" and "Missing" and "Cold Mountain" and I don't know what else. I'll get the Yes "Songs from Tsongas" 35th anniversary DVD, since Pat and I had our first date at the ND concert in '72.

What I hate is getting looped into a movie on TV, that I own.. I think  "turn it off!  I own this!  I can do it stop action, in surround sound, with popcorn instead of this minute...!"

Ace; someday, I'm gonna sit down and watch the Ring Trilogy back to back to back.  Probably wind up with a look in my eyes like that ghost from Grudge...

[Bill]

A fitting point in the narrative to return to topic....

And so the adventurous journey has begun.  Early this cold rainy morning, after loading the Explorer with everything but the kitchen sink (including a small refridgerator  refrigd  electric icebox)  the daughter climbed on to the crate and into the front seat of this huge beast.   Without an apparent care or second thought, armed with a cellphone, smiling broadly, she waved, said "I'm going home" and roared out of the driveway.  Leaving behind her mother, quietly in tears and a worried Dad.   Now comes the hardest part of all, waiting for the phone to ring with progress reports.  She has one planned stop and expects to hit Nawlins' on Sunday afternoon.  

To be continued....

[Ace]

Is Fido with her?  Did he sneak into the vehicle?

I'm trying to envision an 8 foot long hellhound sneaking...

You know, you guys should run a Webcam with live updates and a map that lights up where she is, at that moment.  That would have been really cool.

It would have.  Really.

Maybe you could text her messages, here.  Mention if she stops at any interesting biker bars or scenic sites.  Was it raining pretty hard?  I heard the East Coast has hurricane rains.  I tell ya, it's another ok day to be in the midwest.  Except it's 40 something and dreary.  You know, once, upon a midnight dreary

Ok. Never mind.  Haven't seen many crows around recently anyway.

It was sorta rude changing the subject from pandas having sex under satellites to getting a GPS read on your kid's journey, but it's ok.  Probably a better story to follow, anyway.  Like forgetting about Threshold and just sticking with Surface and Invasion.  At least those are going somewhere.

Ace; Bill will probably do an update pretty soon, here.  Stay Tooned! as the Loonies would say.

[Bill]

OK, the hellhound only measures 8 ft. if you count the tail.  Unfortunately, he is still here, but the cats are gone; thanks for small favors.  

An hour out she hit the first major traffic jam on Rt. 78.  Said she didn't think she'd make Atlanta which was the target with a free hotel.  
Rain here and with her has been 'hurricane' like, lots of slow downs, minor flooding and several accidents along the way.   Stopped for gas in northern Va., apparently a real hog on fuel, but all 8 cylinders are plugging away.
Fortunately, so far, just a wet and uneventful ride.

Biker bars are really not her thing but if there's a tattoo artist at a rest stop we may have a small delay.   NOLA folks have strange likes.  Maybe it has something to do with being below the Mason-Dixon line.  When the son was home for a weekend, he was sporting several new colorful decorations as well.  
Something I will never understand.

[Bill]

Well, yes, we surely need the rain, but does it have to be delivered all in 24 hours. Geez.

The saga of the Eddie B. (thanks, ja) continues.  ( Somehow the memory of the Edmund Fitzgerald came to mind.)  

Daughter called a couple of hours ago while she stopped for gas, again.  The foothills of the Appalachian Mountains along Rt 77S  were a fuel challenge, cutting it to something like 12 miles per.  But the beast sailed along at 65mph; daughter said "I don't give a d***, its getting the job done."

She has now been on the road about 15 hours and since we haven't heard, I am assuming she headed for the free hotel in Atlanta.  I'm guessing but I next expect to hear from her when she is safely off the road, somewhere.

A web cam or GPS would be nice about now..........

[Bill]

Your thoughts and effort is appreciated.  But you midwesterners should find something else to do with your weather rather than send it East.   Now, on top of the rain and wind, it's cold.

Man it was a long day.  Close to 1 am the phone rang from Atlanta, safe, sound and dry.  

more to follow.......

[Ace]

Ok, look.  Ohio is not the "midwest."  It's way more to the mideast.  Actually, if that's the case, I'm surprised we haven't invaded it...

Heh.  Ok, anyway, Indiana is in the midwest.  It's way farther west than Ohio.  From our side of Ohio, which is a couple hours from me, the other side of Ohio is over a week away.  It's more middle Earth than middle West.

Great to hear you finally got the phone to ring, interrupting your late night viewing.  I'm going to pass on Earl; there are too many people in Mishawaka and Elkhart and the west side of South Bend that resemble Earl.  I'll just do the House and Supernatural combo on Tuesdays.  Also, I assume the 12 mph wasn't mileage, but speed.  If she's getting 12 mpg at 12 mph, after 16 hours she'd be somewhere in Northern Virginia and would have spent $2,342 on gas to this point.

"Get up Trinity"?  I don't remember that one...  Unless that was a cheer we did when I was teaching in a parochial school.  

Ace; maybe the fight song?

[Ace]

You can have it.  I wonder how many rooms are in Ohio....

Hope she doesn't need a pontoon boat to get from GA to NOla.

Ace; I'm going to watch triple episodes of Earl and the Matrix Trinity.
See ya'll in about 2 1/2 weeks...

[Bill]

The local watershed is now full (spelling resevoir requires spellcheck), thank you.
Now if we could just have back our 70 degree weather for a couple of weeks.

This morning the plan has changed.  NOLA has a curfew in place which includes restricting access to the city after 6pm.   Atlanta to NOLA, now because of a couple of washed out bridges, is an 8 hour haul, the long way around.  There is, apparently no access to the city from I10 from the East.

So, today will be R&R in Atlanta until about midnight.  Which sounds like a better plan to me, anyway, providing some relief from 16 hours on the road.   Getting into the city with daylight remaining should allow unpacking the personal u-haul.  Wouldn't do to have all those goodies stolen from the beast after the ordeal in getting them there.

One more segment to go......

The sin stop in NC for tobacco products was cancelled in favor saving 30 minutes.   Guess the folks will have to forage on their own, or quit.  

[Bill]

Wow is right  I can do about 8.  When the seat gets tired, the rest of me quits.

No further news or updates...guess the new plan stands.  Cats don't seem to like driving but they want to spend time on the dashboard.  At this point they are pretty well travelled, for animals.  

TTFN

[Bill]

The saga has ended, safely and without incident, which is absolutely amazing.

The tasks of cleaning and throwing out have begun.

Thanks all for your good wishes and thoughts.

Bill

[Ace]

Tell her not to drive to the India/Pakistan/Kashmir border.  At least not this week.

It'd be kinda funny if the quake killed Osama B.L., though.

Ace; like anyone would know.

[Bill]

The daughter called today, simply overjoyed.  Yesterday she filled in as a barkeep at a friend's taproom.  Net pay, cash, for a week night, was just about $200.  
Everyone is looking for help and jobs are readily available.  

The school system in her district maybe months from opening, and then with a much smaller enrollment but life on Bourbon St. goes on, admittedly with an  unsteady step after 10pm.

BTW, the old Eddie B., after 1800 miles, didn't burn any oil.

[Ace]

BLT, I suppose one reason something didn't burn oil is if it didn't have any... but sounds like it's a good little tank and a fine machine.

Tell her not to drink and walk in N.O.; don't want her to get beat up.

Ace; I've can't imagine that getting pummeled even if you had been drinking would really help much...

[Bill]

FWIW, it happens regularly.  Just too many of the dang media types around.  Can't get away with nuthin' these days.  Sure do wish they'd all skedaddle on outta here, abouts.  Oh.  And you can leave all the MREs and water, behind.
Now go on, git.

[Ace]

AFLCIO, ok, but don't call me "behind."  It sounds too much like dumb__ or smart___ or lardb___.  Or just ___h__e.  He. Hee.

Ace; you don't often see "skedattle" in print, do you?

[Bill]

No, particularly spelled like that.

[Bill]

Well, I thought the Saga of the Eddy B. was over...guess again.

I have been calling the dealer for the daughter's license plates for 10 days.  You recall we bought the beast in NJ but the dealer registered it in LA and issued a temporary registration, good for 20 days; now expired.  
Yesterday, I fugured 10 days was enough.  So I left my friendly personality in the closet on the 3rd call of the day.  "Sure I'll check on it and call you back."  An hour goes by, no call.  Finally some young woman calls to ask a couple of questions, and her number pops up on my Caller ID.  "What state did you want this register in?" and I knew we had a problem.. "OK" says she, "I call you back." (no typing grammatical error there.)   Another hour.  I call her.  She says she's checking, I ask for her boss.  

Turns out the dealer never registered the beast at all, didn't pay the LA use tax, as promised.   "Somebody in Accounting had a problem with the deal" I was told.    " "Somebody in your great dealership let my daughter drive an unregistered SUV from NJ to NOLA and never gave it a second thought?
You ever hear of the NJ State Attorney General and the idea of fraud?"  I asked.

I was assured it would be taken care of immediately.

We'll see.

[Ace]

I agree completely with the customer service policy of promising anything to make a buck and placate the customer with the eventual resolution of forgetting all about it.  And, if caught in that conundrum, say "Hmmm... I thought for sure I 1.sent 2.responded 3.got back to you 4.answered 5.took care of  a. that."

Look, if they're going to remember what was said then they oughta be the ones to followup on it, dangit.  I'm busy.  

Busy as a bee!  Busy as a B-Side!  Busy as a B-Movie!  Busy as a bee hive, no jive!  ???


(That was my impersonation of ja.  I hope you, and he, liked it.  The emoticon was something I just thought up, at the end).

Ace; next, I'll do my impression of Bill not being friendly.  This oughta be good.

[Ace]

Ok; that worked out ok.  Whew.  

For my next impersonation, I shall do "Bill, the Joisey Guy, telling the Dealership What's What."  This should work out ok.  He's probably asleep, and Scuzzy's stuck in the other poast trying to figure if he shot his house or his horse.

Ok; here goes; Mr. Bill:

"So, Somebody in your dealership let my daughter drive cross country without plates or a spare tire?!! Youse guys are in a world of hurt then, my friend.  Dere's no way youse are gonna get away with dis ting, lemme tell youse.  Like I'm supposed to fuhgettaboutit?  What's up wit dat?  Are you talkin' to me?  Huh?  I axed you, are you talkin' to me?  Cuz I don't tink you wanna be talkin to me, like dat, do youse?  I'm gonna hurt you 8 ways to Sunday, you loser.  Don't be lookin' for no sympathy from me, you low life scum."

(that's how people from Joisey talk, from what I understand.  Or Brooklyn.  I don't know personally, since I never wanted to get close enough to either to actually hear that).

Alright.  I think that went well.  For my next trick, I shall explain The Origins of the Universe.

Ace; it ends, not with a bang, but a whimper.