Blond Q&A #1

[JimS]

Q:  What's brown and red and black and blue?
A:  A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.

Q:  What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A:  You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q:  What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
A:  The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q:  What's the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A:  You know they are out there but people have reported sighting UFO's.

Q:  What's the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A:  Elvis has been sighted.

Q:  Why are the Japanese so smart?
A:  No blondes.

Q:  Why are there so few blonde pharmacists?
A:  They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!

Q:  Why can't Blondes dial 911?
A:  They can't find the 11 on the phone!

Q:  Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A:  They always forget the recipe.

Q:  Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
A:  She needed them for the darkroom she was building.

Q:  Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A:  To see what was on the other side.

Q:  Why did the blonde jump off the building?
A:  She had just bought Always with wings.

Q:  Why did the blonde keep putting quarters in the soda vending machine?
A:  Because she thought she was winning.

Q:  Why did the blonde take 16 friends to the movies?
A:  Under 17 not admitted!

Q:  Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?
A:  It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

Q:  Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A:  She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q:  Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A:  Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.

Q:  Why did the blonde secretary cut off her finger?
A:  She wanted to write shorthand.

Q:  Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
A:  She thought it was Diet Coke.

Q:  Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A:  Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q:  Why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
A:  She wanted to go on a round trip.

Q:  Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A:  Finger on chin = I don't know.  Hits forehead = Oh I get it!

Q:  Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A:  Because they can spell it.

Q:  Why do blondes drive VW's?
A:  Because they can't spell PORSCHE.

Q:  Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A:  From eating with forks.

Q:   Why do blondes have more fun?
A1:  Because they don't know any better.
A2:  They are easier to keep amused.

Q:   Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1:  So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2:  So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

Q:  Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A:  Toes go in first.

Q:  Why do blondes like lightning?
A:  They think someone is taking their picture.

Q:  Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A:  Because that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables.

Q:  Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
A:  To avoid the draft.

Q:  Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A:  To keep from bruising their ears.

Q:  Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A:  To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q:  Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A:  So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q:  Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
A:  It's too hard to retrain them.

Q:  Why do men like blonde jokes?
A:  Because they can understand them.

Q:  Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A:  Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q:  Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
A:  You have to hollow out the head.

Q:  Why don't blondes double recipes?
A:  The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q:  Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A:  They can't get their heads in the jar.

Q:  Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A:  They don't know the route.

Q:  Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A:  Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Q:  Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A:  You can park in the handicap zone.

Q:  Why was the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A:  She was throwing all the W's away.

Q:  How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A:  You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q:  What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A:  Proofreading.

Q:  Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A:  They're too hard to peel.