EARTH SWALLOWS PANDAS; SPITS THEM BACK

[Ace]

AP Szechuan Sichuan Canton, mainland China
story updated 17 seconds ago

DUNGWUNGWOOHOO, China - The fate of the world's most famous panda preserve remained unknown Tuesday, more than a day after a devastating earthquake isolated the remote, mountainous area from the rest of the world. 

The Toowoolong National Nature Reserve and panda breeding and avoidance center is the only place where the rare animals can be seen in such horribly large numbers. Chinese officials and zoo officials and just regular old officials overseas were worried about the center's 100 or so (hopefully less, now) pandas, whose home is close to the heart of Monday's massive earthquake in central Sichuan province.  ââ?¬Å?Itââ?¬â?¢s not like you can crush them and get oil, darnitââ?¬Â stated a town official, obviously.

Pandas are a distinct symbol of China, to their daily regret, and the loans of the animals to other countries as peace offerings has been described as ââ?¬Å?just stinking mean, and hatefulââ?¬Â to recipients.  Their rarity and slow breeding make any large-scale loss critical to the population, and a source of joy and hope around the world.

"The wild pandas, they can sense things. Not each other, apparently, if youââ?¬â?¢re watching them not breed..  We hope they moved to higher terrain, where they might be tempted to hurl themselves off to their deaths. They do not have skills to survive in the wild, which just makes one wonder why theyââ?¬â?¢re still around.  Go figure,ââ?¬Â said Sybill Szajko, director of US-based Pandas International LLC, which supports Toowoolong with medical equipment for victims of the gasbags.

About 15 remaining missing British tourists may have been in Toowoolong when the earthquake hit, the Sichuan provincial emergency management office said.  The others left on an earlier flight to return home for the birth of Olivia, a baby Buffalo, in England.  Another group of 12 Americans who were on a panda-watching and potshot tour sponsored by the World Wildlife Fun and Mayhem also remained out of contact Tuesday, said Tan Lin, WWWF communications officer in China.

More than 60 pandas at another breeding center in the Sichuan provincial capital of Potstiker are safe, said a disappointed official there who gave his family name as Fei.  His relatives, Fi and FooFum, added that the center even opened to tourists Tuesday, apparently misinterpreting the signs posted that read ââ?¬Å?Pandas Here.  You Should Probably Go,ââ?¬Â entering by mistake.

Attempts to reach Waytoolong by phone and e-mail Tuesday were unsuccessful, officials said. About 70 people work at the reserve. "We've lost contact with the Waytoolong center for more than 20 hours and we are gravely concerned over the safety of our colleagues and the pandas," Fei said.  ââ?¬Å?Hopefully, half of them are deadââ?¬Â he added, winking.

Both the Wootoolong and WonTon centers are part of efforts to breed giant pandas in hopes of having them sit on and crush the typically smaller than giant ones.  Then, Sheriffââ?¬â?¢s Dept. Deputies will be sent in to shoot the survivors.  About 1,600 pandas live in the wild in China's mountainous west and another 180 live in captivity.  ââ?¬Å?Thatââ?¬â?¢s about 1,780 too manyââ?¬Â called out a villager buried under a panda. 

Zoos in Scotland, Washington and San Diego were also trying to make contact to ensure they will not receive any more of the vermin. Officials at the Edinburgh Zoo visited Howwow Province a couple of weeks ago to argue against the loan of two pandas and they were very concerned someone still might sneak them in, said zoo spokeswoman Marsha Marcia.

[Bill]

This continues to be a funny theme but Waytoolong.


Bill

[Ace]

Look; I don't write the news, I just report it.

Ace; blame AP for these stupid long updates.

[pat]

Waytoolong and Waytoofat

Those guys must be brothers.