Recent Posts

[Mark H]

Yea, your right about the cake Steve. I don't eat it all, but what I want. I too trim the fat off of the meat I eat. I love steak! I'm not really overweight and don't plan on getting that way. I do need to work out more though to insure I don't get "the belly."

I too would pass on the Escalade. I can just see Travis hovering over the streets in his 2014 Pontiac Floating Enterprise. I will probably still be driving my truck at that time. I guess at least the roads will be less crowded as everyone hovers above me.

Mark H

[Ace]

Well, that takes the cake.  At least this didn't spin off into "Whose Wife Makes Better Cake Than Mine? NObody's!".  Actually, I tend to bake the cakes in our house; I have a knack.

You can't have your cow and eat it, too.  

Ace; it's the eternal meat poast, now. High protein - high fat - high carbs - high life - high SUV's.  

[Mark H]

Ace; it's the eternal meat poast, now. High protein - high fat - high carbs - high life - high SUV's.  

We need the eternal meat poast to counter the eternal pizza poast.

Mark H

[44mayg]

Ace has a Knack. Probably keeps it in His Sharona. (You younger poasters will just have to wonder)

OK Mark, I think we can get something going here concerning an eternal meat poast. And as usual, we have to use Ace as the fall guy. After all, that's what he's here for, and he wanted (begged) for the job anyway. I think we can somehow integrate this all into an Ace, meat, eternal, pizza, mad cow kinda thing. (See below)

Ace made eternal pizza with mad cow brain? No, too obvious. (See above)

(Snicker! Dude's gonna get stuck in an eternal  loop on that one! :-)

Hmmmmmmm, what do we really know about Ace?

Pinto, panda, jam, feet, jester, clown, maroon, cake, Indian, salt, rust, buffoon, mustache, Taurus, misspells misspell, 68 Mustang, hums to lunch meat, idiot, marguerites, Heineken, twitching DNA, doofus, janitor.

Ace's pizza delivery special:

"PANDA JAM PIZZA"

Spicy crust made from large sections of well rusted and seasoned Pinto panels, dipped in Heineken and mixed with all natural salt extracted from street runoff.

Tomato sauce with a hint of panda jam flavoring for that original old homeland tangy flavor.

Large slices of marguerite marinated mad cow brain liberally spread over a generously thick layer of crusty green stuff strained from a mustache.

All of this cooked and delivered, piping hot, by the patented hot humming Taurus enclosed exhaust box oven method, directly to your front door in 27 1/2 minutes or less, or your next mouth watering panda jam pizza is totally free.

Order now, and receive a one quart container of our mysterious sweet and sour twitching DNA pizza dip absolutely free!

Ace: "I not only bake the best cakes in the world,  but my pizza's are second to none!"

[Ace]

Well, Grr-oss.  I don't know what I'm second to, but I've worked with nuns and I do not want to go back to that.

I suppose the pizza as described is better than a cow pie, although I don't see why at the moment.  It's early, though, and maybe the next cup of coffee will open my eyes to the experience as described.

Ace; the fall guy, not the winter guy.  I look forward to further news on Dude growing up.  

[JimS]

I like the car part of this poast, let's keep it going...

My regular rides are a 1995 Ford Taurus wagon and a 2000 Dodge Grand Caravan, but my REAL rides are a 1957 Chevy and a 1983 BMW R80RT motorcycle.  The Chevy was my grandfather's; I have the original sales receipt.  My sons, ages 10 and 7, are already fighting over who gets which one.  Charming...

Dude, I agree with 44mayg.  The Escalade is a wussmobile.

[Ace]

Dude, I agree with JimS agreeing with Chevy.  Besides being way too big and cumbersome, those things are huge.  It's a boat.  Criminy, if you want something to impress girls, or guys, or just ride above the crowd, get a Maybach or an ocean liner.

You know, I saw where Greg Norman's yacht actually carries a small yacht, on board.

There are still some raised 4wheelers around these parts; back when guys used to jack up their cars to about 4 ft. off the ground, so as to run over other guys and cars.  And, serioiusly, there's a Pinto around that did that.  That is just too funny and weird.

So the Beemer is a driveshaft?  I always thought that was really cool of them.  A guy around here who had worked at Bendix and built custom cars (had a beautiful sky blue Willys) had a beemer bike, and I was always impressed by that.  Don't you think BMW's new design team ruined the cars, though?  Like they chiseled them, and forgot to put the pieces back.  

The new Vette looks great, I think.  If I get really rich, I'll do that instead of the new Mustang.  

ace; really rich.

[44mayg]

I must say, Jim, you have the classic of all classics. And the thing that will demand a premium price, if ever sold, is the fact it's been in your family since new and you have the original sales slip. Probably isn't cluttered up with all the extra crap and legal talk like what you walk out of the dealer with today.

I never buy new, but we keep our cars a long time. I don't like playing their stinking "Let me check with my manager (again and again)" routine.

Last time we bought a car, I looked the salesman straight in the eyes and told him what I wanted to pay a month, what I wanted done to the car and that I wasn't going to waste my time playing their games. He went to check with his manager, came back and started to play. I got up, my wife got up, I looked him straight in the eyes and flatly said, "I told you, I'm not playing this game!" I was dead serious. We had a cherry 89 Camry to trade and didn't need the new car anyway.

We were on the way out the door when he stopped us. I let him go tell his manager what was going on. When he came back, the deal was done. That was the 92 Celica, which we've now driven for about six years. It's a good car, runs great, power everything and has a deluxe factory stereo system. A very important option, if you know what I mean :-)

Dude, if you ever come back, here's something I didn't think I'd ever say. "I agree with Ace agreeing with Jim agreeing with me" Don't even think of that over priced piece of disposable iron on wheels.

[trav]

Ace made eternal pizza with mad cow brain? No, too obvious. (See above)

(Snicker! Dude's gonna get stuck in an eternal  loop on that one! :-)

huh?? lol your right!

[44mayg]

OK, Jim. Keeping the subject on cars, here's a picture of my Chevelle in the garage. I took this one night to see what it looked like in the dark. Actually, it's also a picture from inside our fridge with the door shut.

[Mark H]

That car even looks nice in the dark! It looks exactly like my truck in the dark. Imagine that.

Mark H

[scuzzy]

That darkness is exactly what Ace did to the old chatroom when he decided to stay. It's also what his chair sees when he sits. And it's what Ace looks like when the lights are on.

[44mayg]

Yeah, that's my wife and I in the front seat. Just like it was when we were dating in the early 70's. If you notice, the car's a little dusty....... just like the people in the front seat :-) Can't get away from that dust around here.

HEH! Ace in the old black chat. And he thought we were ignoring him. Heck! We just couldn't see him.

[JimS]

Yup, the Beemer got a driveshaft, no muss, no fuss.  It also has a dry clutch and uses 90 wt. oil in the transmission, which is what cars have done forever but was unusual on bikes back then.  Infinitely better than using crankcase oil to lube the tranny.

I like the new Beemers, but now being married with kids, they're way, way out of my range.

44mayg, if you look at your Chevelle at the correct angle, you can see its lineage from my '57.  I'd never noticed this before.  Under the dust, I can see that it looks very straight.  Very nice!

The only option my '57 has are backup lights.  No radio, no carpet, no power steering or power brakes, no A/C, no A/T (it's got three-on-the-tree).  My grandfather was rather practical, driving it to church on Sunday, and not much else.  It had 29,000 miles on it when he died in 1975.  When my father died in 1991, it had 59,000 miles.  It's got about 61,000 now.  I wish I had more time to work on it.

Dude, SUV's are the most unpractical and irresponsible vehicles ever made, especially if you don't need one, and especially the huge ones.  The Ford Explorer and Chevy Blazer are basically five-passenger vehicles; this is a lot of car to carry five people.  Who really needs four-wheel drive?  Everyone has four-wheel brakes; four-wheel drive just makes it easier for idiots to get into trouble.  I lived in upstate New York for 15 years.  If you know how to drive in snow, and use the right tires, you'll seldom even wish for 4-WD.  Granted, some people do need 4-WD, and some need the towing capacity that some SUV's offer, but this is the vast minority of SUV owners.  Hummers, Escalades, Navigators; what a waste of resources.  I'd be embarrassed to drive one.

I'm ranting again, aren't I?  And I'd promised not to...

If you want to hear me rant, though, mention the Superbowl halftime show...

[Mark H]

If you want to hear me rant, though, mention the Superbowl halftime show...

Now that is something to rant about! >:( I am certainly glad we don't have kids yet to see that trash.

Mark H

[Ace]

I know things were going to go badly when Y.A. Tittle came out for the coin flip.  

I didn't know Tito Jackson was going to perform.

I knew there was supposed to be a "mystery guest," but hadn't thought of Mr. T.

Ace; stupid boob tube.

[44mayg]

Guess I'm one of the lucky ones. Never saw a minute the super thing. Not even a second. I think I was watching the science channel. Maybe the history channel. Discovery. Well, all three, but not at once. Could have even been a movie.

I wonder why Michael doesn't look like Janet any more? They used to. Like twins. Kinda. He's so white, and his nose really shrunk. Really red cheeks. Lips disappeared too. Must be that disease.

Yeah....... right!

[Ace]

Even though the stadium is covered, there was a nip in the air....

Ace; oops my wardrobe just malfunctioned.

[44mayg]

They had a Kamikaze air show too? Man, I woulda watched it for that alone. Not the ads. I'll see them later.

Can you believe how many people admit they watched it for the ads? Hope the stupid networks don't jump on this like they did these boring reality(?) shows.

I can see the TV lineup now.

8:00 - Ads, Ads and more ads. By the way, there will be some lame reality show between the ads. Tune in to these ads. 98 central.

98 central? Yeah, you heard it. Something else the stupid networks all started doing. One at a time, now all of them all the time.

In the old days, like a year or two ago when a second wasn't so important, you'd hear an evenings program being advertised. Then, they'd announce the time it was going to be on.

"Tonight on DumBC TV.......... 9, (with another pause)........ 8 Central"

It's become more like,

"TonightonDumBCTV98Central"

Now the dumb jerkwads don't even toss that little second of pause in there any more. Like there's some kind of time call 98 central.

Maybe on Mars. Sol 98, or something like that. But not on my world. Wherever that is.

[44mayg]

WOW! I can't believe Ace didn't jump on the Kamikaze thing. He must be getting slow in his old age. Maybe he just didn't get it. Maybe he's scared of being politically incorrect. Maybe he had a relative that was a Kamikaze pilot :-)

[Ace]

Geez Louise, Chevy, I got it.  Shoot, Dude probably even got it.  The halftime show crashed and burned, so why not.  I don't understand why they wore helmets, though, or carried parachutes.

I've got a Japanese Stratocaster, actually.  And, it would be a relative "who" was a Kamikaze pilot, not "that."  Well, I didn't, but if I had it would have been that:  "who."

Ace; it was a good game.

[trav]

get what Ace?

[Mark H]

get what Ace?

Well, Ace was wrong as usual. You didn't get it. ;D

Mark H

[44mayg]

Uhhhhhhhh............., Dude! Like, I'll give you a hint. Read closely and think about it over and over.

Ace wrote "there was a nip in the air"

OK Dude, read that line a couple times, or more if you need to.

Done yet? Now look at what could be considered the 'click' words. The words that prompted my reply are  'NIP' and 'in the air'.

Now, my reply concerning the Kamikaze. A Kamikaze was a pilot, of sorts anyway. And what was the nationality of Kamikaze pilots?

I won't say any more as I don't want to offend anyone unintentinally. If I want to offend someone, I'll do it on purpose. But since this is America, and it was a joke, no offense intended.

Dude, watch a WWII (World War 2) movie, and see what the slang for the Japanese enemy was at the time.

Nip in the air............. Kamikaze.

Get it now?

Ace got got it: Score 1
Ace thought Dude would get it: Score -1
Ace total: 0

Dude didn't get it: Score 0
Dude total: 0

HEH! Dude and Ace are in first place with each other!

[Ace]

We now have a contestant for "Longest Poaster's Poast Spent Explaining A Previous Poast To The Exhaustion Of Many."

Ok, I know this won't be easy, but I think I can win this.  Dude is tough, and darn good looking, but it's not like that light bulb goes off in his neck all the time.

Here's another clue:
Nippon
Nipponese; people living in Nippon.

I'm usually up to my neck with National Socialists (Nazis) in RTCW.  I think I'm getting to the final battle in it, but it's one looong game.  

That clue about "what was the nationality of Kamikaze pilots" might deserve an update, after 9-11.  

Ok; I hope there's a tiebreaker soon.  I'm calling "tails" on the toss.  If it's sudden death.  Well, like in a successful Kamikaze mission.  

Ace; what'd they do if they messed up; Hari Kari?  Harry Carray?  Yeah; HE should have been committed.

[44mayg]

Ace, you do have to remember that Dude is our youngest(?) poaster here. Sometimes you have to sit young people down and draw them a picture. And art isn't a quick thing to do.

Also the most likely to be experiencing puberty. Small spurts of hair growth around the chin. Zits. Shyness around girls his age, or women who actually need a bra, with the frequent blushed cheeks showing innocence. A light bulb on one side of his neck.

Hey! If he had one on the other side, we could call him Dudenstein! Travestein. Travenstein. Young Dudenstein. Dudenshtein.

"If Harry Carrey committed Hari Kari, then they would have to carry Harry!"

[trav]

Oh now I get it :D , Im studying Japan in Social Studies (which I( do at home and LA, the rest at school), thats a pretty EDIT: cool place Japan :)

[44mayg]

There were a couple cities that weren't so pretty toward the end of the war. Actually, that was the end of the war.

I've been to Pearl Harbor three times, and each time, we've gone to the Arizona Memorial, and museum close by. They have some pretty impressive stuff to look at.

Among all the things from the attack on Pearl Harbor, they have a large piece of bomb shrapnel in a display case. I hadn't realized the iron was so thick at around 2 to 3 inches. I can see how they could damage most anything they hit.

[Mark H]

There were a couple cities that weren't so pretty toward the end of the war. Actually, that was the end of the war.

For a further history lesson, it was a B29 bomber named the Enola Gay that dropped the first nuclear bomb in history.

Mark H

[44mayg]

And for just a touch more history..........

Little Boy (uranium gun-type device) was the first nuclear weapon used in warfare, and was dropped on Hiroshima, August 6, 1945. It's force was equal to 13,000 tons of TNT.

Fat Man (plutonium implosion weapon) was the second nuclear weapon used in warfare, and was dropped on Nagasaki, August 9, 1945. It's force was equal to 20,000 tons of TNT.