Eternal Pizza Poast

Neon · April 17, 2002, 07:35 hrs

It seems like someone that registers with the handle PizzaMan might want to poast in the pizza poast, but perhaps he is just biding time. You know, time is more than just a cycle, more than a bi-cycle. It is really cosmic.

After all, the universe will re-collapse eventually, and as it gets smaller, it will get more and more lumpy and irregular, and disorder will increase. Just like a pizza! If time starts over at that time, then PizzaMan can be the first to poast here. Huh.

By the way, congratulations to Ace on becoming a Master Poaster

http://poasters.com/forum/icon_star_blue.gif" border=0>

http://poasters.com/forum/icon_star_blue.gif" border=0>! I think that means you get your own Genie. Jeannie. Jordache jeans.

I'm not calling him Master uh-uh, no way. How many silly poasts until he's Emperor?

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Edited by - Neon on Apr 17 2002 08:40:45 AM

Ace · April 17, 2002, 17:55 hrs

I'm sorry to say, I didn't even stop to count the stars. Or smell the roses. Well, actually, we don't have any roses to smell. A couple daffodils, and the first tulips today. I gotta check that out.

I like the "Master" entitlement. I'd tell people with Ph.D.s that a Masters is preferable.

If you get your doctorate, you're referred to as "Doctor." But with a Masters you'd have to call me "Master"....

Works for me. I've got the Bachelors too, but my wife won't let me use it.

In case there really aren't that many stars, after I check, I can always add my own. I'm self sufficient that way. Autonomous. I am an Automobile.

Ace; He's the Master Jester. That's a claim to fame, huh.

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pat · April 17, 2002, 18:15 hrs

Wow, that was some article. Maybe my eyes are getting bad, but all of a sudden everything started to get red and I swear my monitor was shifting. Now all that?s left is a big Black Hole.

When will it all end?? Wait maybe this is just the beginning.

Could I be having a close encounter of the third kind? Is there a vortex on my desk?

Perhaps it?s just a brief history of time. Wait what was that, a big bang? I feel my universe expanding.

No here?s the problem. There is a wormhole in my pizza.

I think I ate the little bugger.

Ace · April 18, 2002, 18:47 hrs

Ok, sure, that makes sense.

I read the thing about cosmetology proving that the universe didn't exist, and then it did, and then people back then wrote down when it happened.

And that static causes most of the common hair problems, and that wormholes can lead you to worms.

I remember putting the electric rod in the ground after a rainstorm, and catching the crawlers as they surfaced. I'll tell ya, some of them were huge.

And that you can wind up way the heck far away if you travel down one of them. Sure, that makes sense.

And a black hole is only known by what isn't there... I mean, that's like seeking intelligence in coworkers. You can tell they're there, by the lack of any.

You combine pizza with beer, that whole big bang thing seems pretty reasonable. I'll tell ya, this is the poast that won't die for a reason. It's the perfect poast food; grain, vegetables (well, fruit if you're my maroon sister in law), cheese, meat... a balanced meal, in a pie.

Add a nice cabernet, and better that than a nice MD2020, and I think you've found Nirvana.

But not Hole. Or Whole. Either. Kurt had the talent in that family.

Ace; In Michiana, guns don't kill people. Ovens do.

chickenlittle · May 22, 2002, 15:59 hrs

A very disturbing circumstance that I think everyone in the world who eats pizza should be aware of:

It looked just like every other pizza...sitting up there on the buffet counter next to a pepperoni and what looked like a veggie pizza. By the time the waitress finally found us a seat, the buffet had pretty much cleared with the exception of this one pizza. (which should have been my first clue) I took a slice...it looked really good. It had plenty of cheese that looked like it would just melt in your mouth...there were pepperoni and mushrooms on it....perfect! I took this piece of pizza back to my seat the entire time thinking about how good it was going to be and how it would satisfy my hunger. As I lifted the piece of pizza to my mouth, the aroma of the cheese I was about to eat made my stomach growl one last time. Then it happened...the worst possible thing that could ever happen to an innocent pizza-eater. In the place of what should have been tomato sauce was...you better brace yourself...I mean it, if you're not sitting you might get a concusion or something hitting the desk on the way down......it was.....really discusting....very thick......MUSTARD!!

You'll be glad to know that this experience hasn't turned me off of pizza completely, I am just much more cautious than I used to be!

Ace · May 23, 2002, 05:15 hrs

Hi, little Chick, I'm Ace the vivacious yet bubbly adorable Asian-Anglo-American chick. Right.

You know, that was grosser than one of Bubba's unedited poasts but still I could see a value in slathering mustard on a pizza; better chance to hide the slime and stench of any stray anchovies.

Otherwise, I'm pleased to see Neon'sPOAST THAT WOULD NOT DIEstill cuts the mustard. Better than the cheese. Heck, the cheese stands alone, usually. For a reason.

Ace; he's a gourmand, more than a gourmet.

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Neon · May 23, 2002, 08:34 hrs

Trying out new and exciting pizza toppings and various combinations thereof is part of the joy of pizza. My educated guess is that this mustard pizza was simply missing a crucial topping ingredient, sardines. Sardines of course are meant to be eaten from a square tin, where they are found packed together like sardines, slathered in mustard. This is their natural habitat. Since they are related to the anchovy, and anchovies belong on pizza, I can see how this sort of transmogrification could occur. You might even consider this a derivative, or mutated pizza. A rare find, and it's great to see this sort of experimentation going on. This could really open whole new vistas to the pizza kingdom. Yes indeed.

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Ace · May 23, 2002, 09:04 hrs

Criminy. I would need to open up a whole new vista to the back yard, so as to hurl.

Next you people will say "Oh, and also, Pickled Herring is a delightful topping, particularly if sprinkled with a Worcestershire sauce and a dab of Tabasco. Indeed."

Shoot, I'd rather I got pickled than the dang herring, dangit. That's why I get marinated before I cook out.

Ace; Major Tom lived in a tin can.

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Neon · June 05, 2002, 07:17 hrs

How delinquent of me, I forgot to mention that I quite enjoyed another pizza with anchovies last week. OK, so nobody seemed to enjoy me quite so much just after that, but it was worth it.

And now for your viewing pleasure and to satisfy your intellectual curiosity, I present The Loneliest Anchovy by C.S.Dweck

The Loneliest Anchovy by C.S Dweck

He pulled out all the garden weeds,

And planted rows of pizza seeds.

A pizza grew in round and nice,

Dripping sauce from every slice.

They ate each slice, and loved them all:

sausage, pepper and meatball.

One slice left was heard to moan,

"Poor anchovy stands alone.

No one wants me on their dishy.

Just because I'm topped with fishy.

Take a bite, I'm nice, and squishy!!!"

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pat · June 05, 2002, 17:12 hrs

Ahh, the Pizza Poast is alive again. Beguiling little poem there too.

I had Pizza for dinner tonight made it on Pita bread. Well two I was pretty hungry. Pita bread makes a pretty good crust for a quick no-fuss dinner. Through on a little sauce and cheese add a few favorite toppings and dinner in 10 minutes.

Anyway, what a yucky spring this has been. Didn?t even make it out of the 50s today and more rain. This cool season grass we grow up here in Michiana just grows and grows in this kind of weather though. I?m telling you if you don?t get out the mower every 4 days by the 5 day you can?t hardly even push it through the lawn.

It?s been real hard on the fruit growers too. 90% of the grapes are gone. Hit the cherries and peaches hard too. So far the apples seem to be doing ok.

I know, you might think this has very little to do with pizza, but I?m worried there will be no desert pizza at harvest time.

Ace · June 05, 2002, 18:29 hrs

Dessert pizza??? Desert Pizza???@ Dezert? Huh?

Man, where's Scuzzy when we need someone who can spell better than him.

I was able to push the mower through the Michianayard, after our return. Actually would push easier if it wasn't on.

As a child, I would enjoy the occasional

Bun & Mustard.

A hamburger bun, slathered with mustard. That's it. Bitey, tart, and peculiar. As was I.

But still, I'm not seeing it on a pizza. As far as the quaint yet beguiling verse on Antchovies; no. Criminy, what's next, a tome to the greasy grime of a Panda's fur?

I am sorry there will be a dearth of Michigan wine. Thank goodness for California. And Italy. And France. And Australia. Maybe the Indiana wine crop will supplant it. Yeah, that'd be worth waiting for. If the Kentucky wine crop falls through...

Can't wait for the Hoosier Pineapple crop to come to fruition. Along with our local Avocados. Avocadoes.

Ace; the pizza poast lives on, in perpetuity. Unless there's an early frost, Jack.

Neon · June 23, 2002, 18:02 hrs

Since many of my fellow poasters enjoy pizza, I thought you might take an interest in the following. If you have access to the cableTV channel Food Network (not me

, then don't miss Unwrapped Monday at 9PM EDT. The topic will be Pizza in America, from NY to Chicago to California. If you catch it, let me know how good it was.

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poast78 · June 24, 2002, 01:52 hrs

Why do I often get the feeling that Ace's font types are in random mode? Is that QWERTY automated?

Ace · June 24, 2002, 05:50 hrs

LOOKOUT! FALSE ACCUSATIONS FLYING!*^$ ACE'S POASTAL FONTS SAID TO BE RANDOM; ACE ANSWERS WITH PALINDROMIC "HUH"

Well, no, they're not, actually. Nothing is random in the universe. We're not dealing with Chaos Theory here, with Newman absconding with the dinosaur eggs while getting his in the eye of the hurricane.

Typically, I poast in Comic Sans, being the Jester.

If it's poetic, or in the words of the prophet Notredamus, I'll go with script.

If I'm lazy or in a rush I'll go with the default.

There are others, but I don't know what.

and now, back to the pizza poast. It's our glimpse of eternity.

Ace; Comical. Urbane. Everything you'd want in a Jester.

Neon · March 11, 2002, 13:47 hrs

It's a bit slow in the forum today, so just though I'd ask what everyone's favorite pizza is. Pizza is sort of the unofficial food of the 'all day and night computer user', the student, the hacker, the 'big hungry family in a hurry', and probably many Q owners and Poasters. Thus, I think it's a somewhat computer related question.

My co-worker thinks all vegetables is just dreamy, but I prefer ham and spinach.

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pat · July 12, 2002, 03:36 hrs

Phew, a moment of shear panic, I couldn?t find the pizza poast.

It?s here, it is alive,????Everything is A-OK.

8)

Neon · July 12, 2002, 11:10 hrs

Hallelujah brutha!
The pizza poast has been saved!

Eric M. · July 12, 2002, 11:36 hrs

Glad to be of service ;D

Joanie · July 12, 2002, 14:46 hrs

Neon,

We need a Poaster's Pizza Special for opening day with all kinds of toppings and stuff. Bet you could come up with a real good one.

Joanie

Neon · July 14, 2002, 15:34 hrs

Joanie, I decided to follow up on your most excellent idea. This afternoon I designed and made what may be the first ever Poasters pizza! It tastes good! Photos will follow after the film roll gets developed.

Joanie · July 14, 2002, 18:05 hrs

Neon, I just can't wait to see what kind of Pizza you come up with and I bet Ace, Pat and Bubba are sitting on pins and needles waiting. Dave, Carol, Jedi and John are probably salavating in anticipation as well as all the other Poasters that I forgot or don't know too well as yet.

And Karen, Gracie and Pete and Keith and poast 78 and query. I know I am forgetting a bunch of guys. How could I forget the Scuzzy Kat and our lost Andreas.

Hope those pics come in soon. Do you have a digital camera?

Joanie

Neon · July 14, 2002, 18:54 hrs

Let me just say that it's one of the more unusual pizzas that I have made. Don't worry about remembering everyone's name - there will be plenty of slices for all!

The photos will be at least a few days, because it's in the middle of the roll. It's a conventional analog 35mm camera, and I'm taking pictures of a system upgrade, so maybe it won't be too long before I get the film developed.

Ace · July 15, 2002, 07:42 hrs

::) What the heck is the dang long pizza poast doing here. Criminy, that thing glommed up the whole old room. Now there's no room at the table for anything else.

Only reason it's so dang long is that people poast to it. If nobody'd poast to it, it wouldn't be so dang long or dang eternal, dangit.

I, for one, am not going to poast to it. Enough. Criminy, get a sandwich or something different for a change. Or a beer. Heck, even a root beer; nothing wrong with those.

Ace; I didn't know we could bring carry-on baggage. Heck, I woulda grabbed some stolen picture things if I'd have known that.

pat · July 15, 2002, 19:31 hrs

Good idea Ace.
I think I?ll get a pizza burger for lunch tomorrow and sure a root beer sounds good too.

Neon · July 22, 2002, 18:37 hrs

OK, the pictures of the first Poasters Pizza are back! Now, before you all start sniggling and heckling, please be aware that I am not an artist. So, you may have to use your imagination to see the picture. Ace, it's just like the Rohrshack(sp?) test with ink blots, only it's pizza.

The topping ingredients are tomatos, green onions, mushrooms, anchovies, and turkey ham. Or ham turkey, I forget. The sauce is a simple tomato puree with some oregano. On top of that is Kroger pizza cheese, which is a blend of mozzarella, romano, and at least 2 others.

As for the taste, it was actually pretty good. At least, it was better tasting than I thought I could make at home. After baking, the 'artwork' was a bit burned.

pat · July 23, 2002, 05:53 hrs

I just can?t wait to see that available in the freezer case of my local grocer. :D

scuzzy · July 23, 2002, 09:31 hrs

Well, now I'm hungry, and there's no pizza to found around here until noon. Dang it. Maybe I can ask one of our chefs to do a special Poasters pizza.

Hey, I really like the image of Joanie. Nice work.

dcsun · July 23, 2002, 13:25 hrs

That's neat. :)

Joanie · July 23, 2002, 13:50 hrs

My Dear Neon,

That is just too, too Cool. What a beautiful pizza you made for us Poasters. You are very talented and creative, who else would have thought to make a pizza as unique as that.

RahRah looks great with the red and white PomPoms cheering the pizza on.

Thank You for your time and effort. We will all enjoy that pizza to the fullest. Of course Ace might be offended since there is no beer bottle visible, not that I could see anyway, it may have rolled off the top when you weren't looking.

Again, many thanks.

Joanie

Neon · August 24, 2002, 19:26 hrs

woo hoo! FREE pizza for me, because I am such a great customer. My local pizza shop has rewarded me with a free pizza, and every 11th pizza hereafter shall also be free. Yay!

As I am the experimental type (in fact, someone once remarked that I put the mental in experimental, but that's another story), this pizza was a test pizza.

Purpose: I wanted to determine the difference between sausage and italian sausage, so the pizza had each topping on one half of the pie.

Results: I cannot taste a difference between sausage and italian sausage. The whole thing tasted and looked the same.

Conclusion: There are several possibilities. One is that sausage and italian sausage are indeed the same. Another is that the shop ran out of one or the other topping, and forgot to mention it to me. Another possibility is that the subtle difference between these sausage types is below the sensitivity threshold of my taste buds' detection limits. Additional experiments may be required to obtain the requisite amount of data for a complete solution.

News:

Eternal Pizza Poast

dcsun