Michael Jackson

[zak]

Whoa zak,
You were doing pretty good with the jokes, however please remember this is a family oriented forum.
Thanks

Edit by pat

[Mark H]

Zak,

I deleted your joke, because it is inappropriate for a family forum.

Mark H

[pat]

Dang, you do type fast Mark, you deleted it while I was editing it.

Wade 777, your joke was also inappropriate and deleted. Please consider carefully the content of your jokes.

[zak]

Sorry people, no offence intended.

[Wade777]

Oh well, its hard to make a Michael Jackson joke that IS appropriate eh?

[Chandler]

Has anyone seen Scary Movie 3?  I understand that the Michael Jackson has been cut out of some showings of it (it wasn't in when my friend saw it in the UK a few weeks ago)

[Ace]

Well, great.  Now you've got my curiosity (curiousity?) over what it was.  I'm even confused if it was Zak or Wade that poasted it.  Or if Mark was trying to delete Pat while Pat edited Zak.  Maybe Michael Jackson as a hunchback, or pickled.  Or maybe he wrote a nice Haiku in memory of me, and you guys lost it.  Or maybe it was a joke about his nose.... Like the killer joke from WWII, but instead of a dog it's Michael Jackson:

"Michael Jackson has no nose."
"How does he smell...?"

"Awful."

I hope that wasn't really it, so that this gets edited or deleted or locked up with my Ode.  

ace; it wasn't an Oder.

[Wade777]

I've seen Scary Movie 3!
One of the best parts was the one with Michael Jackson in it.

To clarify things Ace: Zak posted and Mark deleted while pat was editing it.  Mine all got deleted (even though it wasn't too bad.. don't hold any grudges)

[Whizbang]

I hate scary movies.  Having to watch for skunks every time I step out on the back porch at night makes me ready to watch "The Andy Griffith show"  or "Leave It to Beaver."  That's life in the sticks.  :o

[Wade777]

Scary Movie 3 isn't so very scary.. in fact it makes fun of almost every movie ;D

[Ace]

You know, I started thinking about Poasters playing the roles from the Andy Griffith show...

Scuzzy would be Andy, naturally.  Bubba would be Otis.  Karen would be Thelma Lou, with Carol as LouAnn (?).  Well, or Aunt Bea.  Dude would be Opie.  Pat could be Gomer.  Whiz could be Goober.   JimS could be Ernest T. Bass.  

Which would make me... huh... shoot.  Floyd the Barber.

Dang.

Well, ok.  I guess he was kinda existential, so I can do that...  Man.

Ace; I saw a skunk out the window, one night.  Close enough for me.  I mean, I like Heinekens, but I don't need one in the yard...

[Whizbang]

Which would make me... huh... shoot.  Floyd the Barber.

How about Barney Fife?  ;D

[johnamazing]

Let us please not say Barney Fife and Miccool-not-Jackson in the same thread, eh?
Sound like a good plan?
AMAzing  :)

[Wade777]

Wade777,

I don't see this joke as appropriate either as it makes fun of a very serious situation. Therefore it has been deleted.

Edit by Mark H

[Wade777]

Bleh, sorry yet again then.

[Ace]

Geez Louise, Wade, you've become a master of the Subliminal Poast.  It's been a long time since we had those in the chatroom.  A poast appears, and there's nothing there, and there you go.  

I'm glad you stepped up to do that, since Bubba apparently deleted himself along with any new poasts.  You have to be careful where you draw the line, I guess.  I like to draw it three feet from me, in all directions.

I second Whiz's nomination of himself as Barney Fife.  That's fine with me.  I forgot all about him.  Barney, I mean, not W.Bang.  

I'll stick with Floyd; it'll be the closest I've come to a barbershop in years.  I still think Mick Jagger could play Barney Fife; there's quite a resemblance that's developed.

Ace; we haven't tangented off again, have we?

[Wade777]

I'm going to be more careful from now on.. no jokes unless they are kiddie and corny.

[Ace]

Ok; there ya go.  I think you're on to something.  

Kiddie, and Corny, jokes.  That'd be... uh... hmm...

Korn jokes.

Ok, okay; let me try one:

"Munky and Head go up to Fieldy in a bar, and they say 'Hey, Fieldy, if you break a string you're in a world of hurt, but not us..."

And Fieldy says, "Huh.  Why is that?"

And Munky and Head say, "Because we'd still have 6 strings left, you Goof!"

Heh.  That was ok.  

I'll try more later.  Something like Shaffer and Welch are walking to Colonel Sanders, and Brian says "Hey, Munky, don't put the biscuits in the bucket this time, ok?"  and Munky says, "Why's that?" and Head says "Because nobody likes a Limp Biscuit!"  

Man, I crack me up.  This place is cuttin edge, I tell ya.

Ace; Hey, try this: Steven Tyler and Joe Perry are walking out of the Pyramid, and the guide says "Hey, You Two! Back In the Tomb!"  Har.  Too funny.

[johnamazing]

Just poasting so I can opt out of this one being sent in email, dig?
:)

[Ace]

I guess I poast just so I don't get emailed, too, most of the time.  I'm still trying to figure how this poast chain killed Zak.  Or he turned into Wade.  It's hard to keep up.

Ok, then, to continue in my duties as Jester, insignificant as they are:

MORE KORN JOKES! (I gotta figure a way to turn the R backwards)

Jonathon Davis is walking down the street, emoting all over the place and venting his personal angst and baring his soul, and all that, and he sees Marilyn Manson walking toward him on the sidewalk.  So Jonathon goes (this is for younger viewers, as they talk like that, saying "goes" instead of "says" and "Like" just to kill time) "Hey, Marilyn, you always remind me of that character in Monsters, Inc.".  So Marilyn goes, "Why is that?"  And Jonathon replies, "Because you've got the same One Good Eye!"  And they both laugh.

And David Bowie overhears them, and comes up and slaps Jonathon in the back of the head, saying "That's not funny", causing Jonathon to emote and show his feelings all over the place again.

Ok; I'll try to think of more.  We've never had these before, so it's not like I can just go out and cut and paste them in, you know.

ace; so Ace was, like, you know, dug.  Digged.  Hot Diggity.

[johnamazing]

Dig that.

Darned thing arrived again in email!

Guess I will just have to live with seeing Jackson in my inbox till this thread finally dies off... or gets deleted hint hint.

Talk about spam!
Never thought I would ask for spam.

That's what I get for associating with a Jackson.

ja out

[Chandler]

Do you receive e-mail notifications?

On most sites, if you don't reply to the thread, then you won't receive any more notifications after you receive the first e-mail; I don't know how it works here because I've never received notifications.  Try clicking the Notify icon at the bottom of the poast.

[Ace]

Aw, Geez Louise Chandler, what is it with you administrative Moderators around here?!
?. !.  
You come busting into this nice conversation we're having on jokes you can't tell about Michael Jackson and how scary that is and movies with him in them and the Andy Griffith show and who would play what part here and why Wade can't tell a joke to save his life and how Zak disappeared off the face of the chatroom after Mark deleted Pat, mistaking him for Wade's penguin avatar, and how amazed John was to get emails for no apparent reason, and then here you come dragging the whole dang thing and 9 yards off topic with your out of context out of the blue out of the ordinary commentary on how JohnA wouldn't get the dang email notifications after the first one if he ignored it and

And.  Ok, hold on a minute.. just wait.  MJ - scary movies - Andy Griffith - Wade's non-jokes - Zak's non-here - Mark removes Pat removing Wade - Korny jokes replace banned ones - Pat=Penquin - John's email problems - Chandler's email solution...

Ok.  Okay.  I guess someone owes me an apology, then.  Go ahead and poast it in my "Return of Me" poast, with the poems and other nice tributes and thank you notes.  That'd be fine.  

Alright.  Everybody; move along.  There's nothing to see here...  Go on; go on home.  Move along...

Ace; criminy, I almost took the dang thing off-topic.  I gotta watch that around here.

[Mark H]

I think this thread has set a record for the most posts in a thread that got deleted.

Mark H; I live in WV, wait PA, no RI, maybe TN - oh Geez Louise, I don't even know where I live.

[johnamazing]

Ace and Chandler, you are great work-arounds for the Jackxion Blues!

Ace with the mile a minute, off the wall humor that I like.
Chandler with the fantastic "fix".
I did explore the notify tab and came up happy.
If I had a brane in my head, I would have remembered that if I don't read the post from email link, I will not get any more (till I read it, that is).

Makes for a pretty funnybone evening, doancha think?  LOL
I like it so far! Yeah!

I was in the midst of a crash, so all can be forgiven, I figure.
Big Moe over here came up with a stop order that needed Windows 2000 re-installed. Some file got corrupted.
Probably just over-crowding on the freeway.
All these bits and bytes think they own the road...

I love funny, so keep up the good work, Ace.

From one A to another.. Amazing to Ace..
A out
PS Guess what.... I am opting back in. This is too good to miss.

[Ace]

Johnny; you're amazing.  Unless there's a 7th grader near you, then "your amazing."

I've hit my funnybone, and it wasn't that funny, if you ask me.  And, MarkH; what the heck are you doing.  
???!!!>!!!,,,,(r.i.p. Bubba)

We're having this helpful yet erudite explanation of prevention of stray emails, and then here you barge in with your "I don't know where I live" soliloquy.  

First off, if there's anyone who doesn't know where he lives, it's probably Scuzzy since he hasn't said if he got the out of the tent he pitched on his tree-less yard while awaiting completion of his home, and oaken kitchen fixtures.  I've gone a mile a minute, on the tollroad.  Until I hit Ohio, of which a mile a minute will take you 4 1/2 weeks to cross the dang thing.

Ok, man; get a grip.  You've got to figure out where you are.  Last we heard, you were in W. Va with thoughts of moving.  Ok, then.  W. Va is just west of East Va.  That should pinpoint your (you're) current location.

MarkH, dangit; you have got to come to your senses and start spelling "poast" correctly.  You're one of us, you know.  Your one of us. 1 of them.  

I know "Tito" Jackson had the wardrobe malfunction, but I don't care that much for any of them.  They scare me.

Ace; I think Ernest P. could play one of these poasters, but I haven't decided who.  Whom.  

[Mark H]

OK, I had to get out the Atlas and at first, I thought I was in Brazil and then I realized I was looking at the wrong American continent. Once I got the continent right, I found that I live in WV. Now, I don't know that I will stay here seeing how every chemical plant in the valley is laying off people and my plant is closing. That narrows it down to 50 possible states, of which at least 20 of them aren't on my want list. I have thought about putting in for a job in Neon's state of Texas, but then I would be too close to Scuzzy per Ace's standards, so that is probably out.

Mark H; Why am I "poasting" when I should be going to bed?

[johnamazing]

I wanna be Earnest T. Bass!  (I get to marry that woman in the cabin, though!)
Pick me, pick me!

If not, let me be the banjo-picking Dillard boy from The Dillards, my favorite Bluegrass group. (Bill Monroe is not a group.)
Anyone who saw that episode.. well, you are Aces in my book!
Haha.. I said Aces..  

About time to get some serious comedy going here! Think I will transfer my tapes of Beavis and Butthead to DVD, demux and author them suckers! Now THAT is satisfaction!  uh-huh!
....jist anudder poastrer...

[Ace]

Well, as anyone who knows me knows (phonetically, that's British for "anyone who knows me nose") I am all about serious comedy.  That would be the alternative to "funny comedy."  So, in all seriousness, that's just the kind of Jester I am.  

I hereby, by the powers vested in my power vest, proclaim
"johnamazing" to play the part of Earnest (Ernest? The importance of being earnest?) T. Bass.  We haven't had anyone play the fish for awhile, so we appreciate your volunteering.  If it was an order, it would be "You're volunteering."  We have had Largemouths in the room, but not fresh water ones that I remember.

I agree that Bill Monroe is not a group, although Yngwie Malmsteen is working on becoming one.  If not a crowd.  The Dillards sound better than some group called "The Dullards."  Although auditions would probably be easier for the viewers here.  Shoot, I could go buy a banjo again and probably lead the thing.

I am glad that no one has come by and changed the topic of this poast again.  It's time we stayed on track.  Although JA did try to imitate the "stPid PoASTrs" spelling lexicon at the end, and no one wants to go back to those remarks.  

Ace; Andy could pick and grin at the same time.  I usually grimace.

[JimS]

Whoa, slow down here, do I have any say in this?

Geez, just because I get busy, because I need to work for a living and can't keep my dial-up connection locked onto Poaster's and don't IMMEDIATELY respond to every poast, my part gets taken away from me???  Geez Louise, criminy and all that stuff; I tell ya, I get no respect around here.  Where's Bubba when I need him?  Tell him to leave a light on; I'm on my way over, to wherever he's exiled himself to.

I could be the best Ernest T. Bass you've ever seen.  If you've ever seen him, that is.  If you've never seen him, then it doesn't matter how good or bad I am, because you wouldn't know the difference.  Right?