Poast Keyboardos and other anomalies

[Ace]

Well, I'm not "typing" I'm "keyboarding", hence.

First, a word on our sponsor, Forum King and Policer of Poasts:  Scuzzy.  To the unitiated or newly arrived, it might seem Scuzzy and I fester some deep-seated ill-will toward one another.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  

We have deep affliction for each other, having both arrived to the chatroom in its earliest incarnation in a prodigal way.  Mostly, from the outside.  When the last one left and the lights went out, it was us whom brought the place back to life, ending our self-imposed banishment with abandon.  Over the years, we have posed as the Yin and Yang of the Room.

He, the Alpha(phalfa).  Me, the Omega(man).  Scuzzy, named after his scruffy cat Alex.  Me, for a time, after my deceased parakeet Buddy.  In ways we are opposites, whom yet attract.  Me, with my pretty much normal-sized feet, he with his abysmally small ones.  He, serving in a key capacity protecting the safety and interests of others.  Me, pretty much shoved into a corner office trying to stay out of the way of people expanding their brains.  He, the Keeper of the Peace and Lord Of The Roost and King Of The Poastoffice.  Me, the Jester.  He plays the straight man, the heavy.  I play the Fool.  

There could be no light, without the dark.  Good would be unrecognized, if not for Evil.  The positive + the negative -.  I won't go into which one of us is which.  

Some might think it unfair for him to have the run of the place, and be able to pop in and out of all the rooms equally, while I am pretty much restricted to the funny farm.  But that isn't a bad thing.  Better to Rule In Funland than serve in a lesser capacity to 87 other people who know a heck of a lot more than me somewheres else.  I'd rather be a big fish in a small pond, than coral at the bottom of an ocean.  

huh.

Ok; otherwise, that's pretty much all I could think of, which wasn't that much, nor necessary.  Heck, its Monday, and the 7th Day of Neon's Birthday Bash, and probably some other occasion I can't remember.  You'll find both Scuzzy, and Ace, are at your service here.  He takes the order, and gives them.  I clear the table, and try to pocket any change I find while not actually touching a used napkin.  Ech.

Ace; oh, and Happy Leif Erickson Day, too.

[scuzzy]

As always, I have no clue what Ace is babbling about. I just came here to clean up whatever mess he's created, just to find another pile of garbage in the corner.

However, I would like to immediately claim the title of "Yin" as well as "Yang". Or, "Ying Yang" since most people get that confused anyway. Yes, I am fire and water, black and white, high and low, top and bottom, in and out, the sun and the moon, light and dark, as well as Ace and Scuzzy. Well, maybe not Ace and Scuzzy, but I am as all those other things. Sometimes all at once. Heck, you have to be in order to be a good administrator. Just check the job poasting.

Ace on the other hand comes from crAZEd. Or close to it. Close enough. The C and Z are not that far apart on the keyboard.

Okay, well. I'm glad we got that straight.

Scuzzy; he's the hero as well as the villain. Village Hero. Whatever. It took a village to raise Cain. As well as Ace.

[Neon]

Ace; oh, and Happy Leif Erickson Day, too.

OH! So now you're taking a shot at COLUMBUS, funny man? And on Columbus day, no less. He's not even here to defend himself. Have you no shame? Leif Ericsson, indeed - he only discovered Vinland, and he didn't name it America.

I thought Yin and Yang were a pair of rare red pandas (say that 10 times fast) in the Detroit zoo.

[Ace]

Well, geez criminy Neon Columbus didn't discover "America" anyway, let alone Texas.  Unless you figure some islands out in the ocean count.  And anyway, it's kinda presumptious to "discover" a place that people are already living in.  "Hey, neighbor... I just discovered YOUR CAR!  And HOUSE! Heh! Thanks."

Otherwise, I find the oxymorons that Scuzzy posed emphasized his role as a moron.  And look, if my dang janitorial skills are lacking, well, you get what you pay for.

I nominate Scuzzy for the Policeman role in the Village People.  I knew I recognized him from somewhere.

I'd rather be the Indian Chief.  Then I could discover a dang hole in the hull of Columbus' boat after they disembark...

Ace; I sorta like the "Vinland" moniker.  Like they woulda brought wine with them, or at least mead, and had a good time here in the states.  If Scuzzy's "Ping" then I get to be "Pong."  I used to play that, back when there weren't video games but there was Air Hockey.  

Dang, I think I mispelled "maroon."  Stupid Kwerty Keyboardos.

[Allie-Baba]

OK - I know I'm going to put my foot into a pile of something (in the corner?) that I won't easily be able to shake off. And frankly - like most of my friends - you'll probably just ignore me anyway (some friends - they're the best I can afford). But I feel that I need to make a couple of points.

Firstly - Yin and Yang can NEVER coexist, or cohabitate if you will, the same  spacial coordinates simultaneously. It would be like anti-matter and matter, the future and the past, all existence would come to an end as we know it, or as I know it at least, "Cats and dogs living together".

Bee-ly - or secondly as the case may be - the Indians didn't discover it either, at least ways not the kind of Indian as the Indian in the Village people. Columbus, an Italian sailing under a Portugese flag, or was it the other way around, I was there and can't remember,  was lost anyway. The actual finders of America, or at least the homonid variety, were actually either Chinese, Russians, or Alaskans, take your pick. Maybe we should be celebrating Red September day or whatever - bit your tounge you communist pig.

Thirdly - I'm an idiot and butt into things I don't know anything about all the time, with superflous trivia. That's just who I am - so take me or leave me - I suppose that might explain the friend thing.

THNX
BRAD

[Ace]

Ok; okay "HoTO" 'If that's your real name...'  
I'm sure.

I read that, and re-read that, and then I had supper.  After that, I came back here.  I think we're getting off track here, and it's time to get back to the task at hand; namely, who discovered where we are.

Well, in a Poasters sense, I discovered where we were some time ago even though Scuzzy tried to get me lost and not found, blind and unseen.  But, by golly, I showed him a thing or two.

First, the thing.  Then the other two.

After that, Neon got all perturbed as it was no longer his birthday and he took offense that "Columbus" was somehow denigrated on his most holy of days...  Geez Louise, like he's an Italian with a Portugesan flag or something.  I mean, it's not like the Alamo was over-run by Italians and he's still upset about it...  

So, then, "BRAD", if that's your real shouted name; you seem to draw the conclusion that a great many people wandered to these shores, mostly overland, by way of Alaska when it wasn't even that anyway.  And whether they were Chinese way before China or Russians, even though that's a long way from Siberia let alone the Aleutians, is an interesting notion.  Heck, maybe the Vikings headed East instead of West and hiked here.  Yeah, that could've happened.  

Or a sloth and a Woolly Mammoth and a Sabre Toothed Cat with a small Human Baby walked on over the ice flows.  You betcha.

Here's the Historical Fact:  Columbus Thought He Was In India, and so Referred to the Locals As Indians.  Thereby: The Natives Became Known as Indians, even though he was way off in his thinking.

And where Do Indians Come From, the Jester Hominid Asked?

Why, From Indiana he Answered.

Being From Indiana, and thereby an Indian, I lay claim to This Land As that of My Forefathers and Foremothers and fore anyone else I'm descended by.  From.  This Land Is My Land, and Only My Land.  Land of the Indians.  Indian Lake Is a Scene You should Make.  Indiana wants me; Lord, I can't go back there.

Well, I'm already there, so I can't go back.  And I celebrate my descendants and antecedants and ancestors and anyone else Indian.  Not Hoosier; that's just insulting.  Shoot, back then Michiana probably stretched from the Great Lakes to the Gulf of What Would Come To Be Known AS Mexico.  So an Michianan Indian would really be held in high esteem.  

Much as I am, today.  And, no, Cats and Dogs don't and shouldn't live together.  I mean, you have your cat people on one hand:  Scuzzy.  Roy.  Then, you have your Bear people; those two who decided to lunch up there in Alaska recently.  And finally, the Dog people: me.  I like dogs.  They are Man's Best Friend, and we, theirs.  Unlike cats, they have enough sense to go potty outside.  And, unlike large cats, they're unlikely to dine on you.  

I hope that helps to put our national origin, and the nature of Neon's birthday, in greater focus.   I will also offer I did have a keyboardo in my last poast.... I meant "Ying and Yan."  They are found together, much as Bizarro Superman and Superman might be.  Or your Doppelganger and you.

Ace; I wonder if a communist pig is less likely to commit to breakfast, or more.   And, if one bites one's tongue, finds it tastes like pork.   A pig who butts into things is a ham.

[Allie-Baba]

Ace - Et to Brute .......... Me thinks Ace has 'wandered' off course or perhaps strayed a bit on the Michiana, or Michigana, or Mish-againa, side ....... For I am an Algonguin - the widest ranging of all the tribes of the land we call - Korn, or maze, or Maize - whatever ....... as I use my alphabetic input device to slay - nay - dismay those who overlook my inout - I have but one thing to say.

OK - I give, I know when I've been mastered - you know, it's not really so much your ability to role out the quality drivel, it's your ability to do it in such vast quantities - and I haven't even had dinner yet for crying out loud. ;)

THNX
BRAD - The Great Algonquin chef

[Ace]

Ok; now we're getting somewhere.  Quantity over quality, that's my motto.  When it's up to me I'd rather have more on commentary than less.  I'm not sure if I like the sound of "quality drivel"...  Even if we're talking copious quantities of quality drivel.  I guess if the root word is "drive" I'm ok with it.

I would now like to welcome and acclaim:

BRAD (say it loud) The Great Algonquin Chef.  
I don't know how to pronounce "Algonquin" let alone spell it, so I'll leave it at that.  We haven't had a chef in here for sometime, let alone an Algonquin one, so I think you will play a unique role.  That is preferable to a eunuch role, I've found.

You know, being a chef, you might want to go into our file cabinet and haul out the Immortal Eternal Pizza Poast and add your ingredients, especially since the dang thing died and nobody kept it going even though they promised.  

Tracing back the footpaths and boat wakes of mankind, plus womankind and kidkind although I don't know how many of them did the cruises back then, is intriguing.  I think, like Ho mentioned, you can see where folks originated, maybe even to a single starting point way way back when.  In the fertile crescent or wherever.  Like the original Adam and Eve, or a couple better-than-average looking couple of near primates.  And the earliest of peoples probably split into two factions...  The Dog Lovers, who prospered and traversed afar and utilized their faithful canine pals for protection and watchdoging (hence, the name) and useful companionship.  And the Cat People, whom became dinner.  Or chew toys.  I mean, cats were pretty darn large back then.  To the point of the Egyptians, who must've worshipped cats and held them in high esteem and who figured if they had their brains pulled through their noses and were gutted and then wrapped up with their toys they'd live forever and be able to play with them, in the dark.  

Geez Louise.  They make Ted Williams and the idea of cutting off your head and freezing it away from your body so as to live happily thereafter seem intelligent.

Ace; don't be concerned if his poasts overwhelm you at times.  Even I've been overwhelmed on occasion.  Unless I just get to the point, attempting to underwhelm.

I still just own the one Korn cd, as I found that was sufficient.