Re:

[Joanie]

Ohhhhhhhhh Carol, that is all so true.



Your Right!!! Santa is a Woman.



Joanie



 

[Don G]

Hrrrrmmmph!



Well, maybe....but I know who She??/he sends the bills to.



Don G

[Don G]

And what about the "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus" story.....



hehe....What does that make "HER"?....hehe



Don G

[QQQ]

Are you sure Santa is a Woman?



You said that, even in jest, a guy wouldn't like  his physicque to be described as a "bowl full of jelly."  Many women are always asking if clothes make a certain part of their anatomy look big or fat.  How would the description of a "bowl full of jelly" be accepted by a female Santa?



You said guys can't pack a bag.  I must vehemently disagree.  Guys can pack *a* bag. It's the women who can't pack a bag-- they pack several because they always carry around much more than they will ever need.  Correction, they make the guys carry around their bags.  I don't think Santa is a woman.



While some of the team may be tied to the sleigh and on their way to the taxidermist, there would still be a few reindeer left to pull.  You contend that a male Santa couldn't possibly be up to the task because he would get lost and refuse to ask for directions. At least he would be able to get the sleigh to fly and adeptly maneuver the vehicle. Santa couldn't possibly be female.



You describe this holiday as a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal that a guy could not possibly pull off. That seems to be a gross exaggeration. The reality is, is that people are shoving, pushing, cruel, mean, insensitive and downright inconsiderate.  They fight in the stores and use expletives when they can't get what they want, when they want it. Then they drive with blind abandon to run around and get more stuff, cussing at all of the other drivers, traffic lights, etc.; what a wonderful example of "good will toward others." Finally, when they have everything they can possibly afford, they spend hours trying to wrap it, cussing about paper cuts, uncooperative tape and the excessive time it takes. This frustration is compounded by the thought that it will only take a few seconds to have the wrappings ripped off and no one will notice there was even any effort put into making the packaging look nice.  All of this frustration is supposedly endured because it is the time of year to be loving, kind and considerate to others.  You're right, if this is your description of an organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, then it is definitely NOT the type of situation a male would create.



As for the Ronco products and socket sets, those really aren't a bad idea.  And, if Santa *is* a woman, she would be well advised to deliver more socket sets.....



Men *do* answer their mail.  They just refuse to respond to irrational requests/ demands.



A man may not feel comforable wearing red velvet.  But, then again, I don't think the color is the issue.  As for the elves, if a guy is comfortable with his masculine identity, it doesn't matter who his friends and co-workers are.



Guys are not afraid of commitments.  Usually the "fear" of commitment is related to the individual to whom the guy is supposed to commit.  On the other hand, it is not difficult for a guy to commit that person when the need arises.



I don't think Santa is male or female.



Santa is what people want and need it to be. It fulfills the fantasy that there is an embodiment of love and cheer that is visited upon the earth once a year.



But the lessons of "good will toward others" should be practiced on a daily basis, rather than hypocritically once a year.





 

[Joanie]

QQQ, I am at a loss for words. That's funny stuff. We need Ace here to tackle that one.



Did you ever meet Ace?? We wanted him to Moderate the Funny Bone Forum. Perhaps when he sees we have a rival for him he may change his mind and join us once again.



You are a funny one.



Joanie



 

[Joanie]

Must have been a gay song writer Don.



Joanie

quote:

And what about the "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus" story.....



hehe....What does that make "HER"?....hehe



Don G

 

[Carol]

QQQ,



Well, points well made.  I guess it could be either one.



 

[QQQ]

I haven't met Ace, but I do miss his wit. Hopefully he will return.







 

[Joanie]

Hi QQQ,



All we can do is BEG and the three of us have been on bended knee.



Do you have any suggestions? You have a gift for saying the right things.



Joanie



 

[Carol]

SANTA'S A WOMAN

 

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!  For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.

 

Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the shopping bag.

 

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed,desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

 

Even if the male Santa DID still have reindeer, he'd also have the transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

 

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:

 

-Men can't pack a bag.

 

-Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. -Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen  with all those elves.

 

-Men don't answer their mail.

 

-Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly."

 

-Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.

 

-Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.

 

-Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

 

I can buy the fact other mythical holiday characters are men:

 

-Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous.  Definite guy.

 

-Cupid flies around carrying weapons.

 

-Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.