Re:

[Ace]

Thank you; I needed new material.  Criminy, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have any sense of humor at all.

Between you keeping me supplied with material and Bear keeping me up on crafty football picks and Scuzzy reminding me why I avoided military service I gotta figure I'd be half the man you used to be if I didn't tune in.  Thank goodness I had the hindsight to print the dang monkey joke so I don't have to harass you about that, either.  

Keep them coming; I heard Sen. McCain say humor will be very important in these stressfull times, so you get commended for doing your patriotic duty and keeping us LOL. WOAP. ROTFSHIHMN.



Really. I did.  Ow.



Ace: he doesn't steal jokes, but he will borrow them indefinitely..







 

[scuzzy]

I was going to accidentally delete your message, but decided against it. This time, anyway. I can't make any guarantees for the next time, though. After all, I have to do my part in protecting the integrity of this forum, which includes deleting any and all monkey jokes. And monkies, too. Or Monkees. Whichever. You never know what they're carrying these days. Besides bananas, and a briefcase of blond(e) jokes. Not that Pete is a monkey, mind you, although he's made it obvious that he likes monkies. But, we won't go there. Really, let's not.



Hey, talk about Monkees - who the heck is Smash Mouth? What's that all about?



http://www.poasters.com/images/scuzzy.gif" border=0>

Alex Garcia

[Ace]

Who in the heck are you talking to, excuse my Dutch?!?#2

Him or me? Me, or him? He or I?  I don't know if you're accidentally threatening to delete Pete's joke or my acclimation for his joke.

Criminy; what an idle threat.  Or idle threat, as in the Topaz we used to own that would generally stall out while doing that.

That's like sending an anthrax loaded terrorist letter "Dear Occupant" or "Current Resident"...

Yeah, that'd be sweet. "To Whom it May Concern:  I hate you. You die now. Take penicilin. Say. Those look like B-52's over my cave. Oh. Oh oh. Sincirly, He Hate Me."



The Smash Mouth thing; I didn't find them appealing either. There's some days I could refer to my sister-in-law as that, though. I wish.



"One of these days, Alice, one of these days.." as Ralph would say.



I'm figuring your antecedent for Pete is Pete, and not Peter, who is/was a Monkee.  Geez, I hope they don't "reinact" that. That Gilligan thing looked scary.  Hey, here's one that would be good Halloween fare: bring back the "I Dream of Jeannie" group for a reunion show.  Eeek.



Sorry. That scared the heck out of me, too. Yow.  Well, I gotta get the mail. I'm running it all through my Cobalt beam concrete maze set-up. I programmed it in COBOL.  Got it from the COBOL Cobal Cabal group. By Cable, naturally. You can't be too safe.  You know, I'm still thinking cows might be behind all this mail terror, being anthrax affiliated or dominant or whatever. I'm thinking there's some connection with all this and that Omaha steak deal.  Sending cows by mail, you'd figure they'd retaliate. You know, after having poorly cooked ones at my dad's that was terroristic enough right there. Blech. In the old days, the cows would've surreptitiously (how in the world is that spelled..) written the chatroom. Man, those were the days, when you could poast anonymously sorta and do subliminal stuff and things. Sigh. Good thing we still have monkeys or monkies and blonds or blondes and Pete and jokes and stuff, just to remember the good old days.

Huh; nobody's effigy has gone up in flames, recently... guess hindsight is 20-40 like they say.



Ace: he keeps wondering who "they" are..





 

[Pete]

You didn't mention Munkee, repeat Munkee, jokes so I will seek one to poast, or maybe for  benefit of Ace I will just change the spelling in my original one.

I Lik!!!!!!!!!



Pete

[Ace]

No, I did not. Neither did I mention Munkey Shaffer jokes, being not that big a Korn fan. Nor Monk Key.  Nor do I know any other spellings.  Although I could create some, as it were.



And do not go by my spelling. Criminy, it's abysmal. I just type too dang fast and if I don't notice my fingers going off then there's no chance of me going back over anything to correct it.  Someday I'll probably get run over by a homonym, and then that'll be that.



Stupid Qwerty keyboards. Supposed to slow you down enough to prevent that sort of thing. Dangit.



Ace: spelling better really wouldn't help his poasts any anyway.



 

[Pete]

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:



She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.



She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:



She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.

She thought General Motors was in the army.

She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here:",she put

"Sagittarius."



She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:



She tripped over a cordless phone.

She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it

said,"concentrate."

She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."

She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.



She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:



She studied for a blood test.

She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."

She sold the car for gas money!

When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she

turned around and went home.



She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:



When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.

She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In

Front



Pete