JESTER'S NEAR DARTH EXPERIENCE

[Ace]

as in "Ideas"...

* Viagra (no, you're not looking at your dang email right now; don't delete this or block sender) is now tied to blindness.  Another old wive's/mom's tale proven true.

* Danica Patrick cheated during Indy because she doesn't weigh enough.

* IRL teams are now recruiting drivers named Ana.

* Prediction: Ace purchases SACD player just when HDDVD or BluRay disks burst onto market.  

* Prediction; competition between the two in format war will remind many of the VHS-Beta conflict.  I was so close to going Beta.... criminy.

* Despite urgings by JohnnyA Ace refuses to torch his Fender, but instead lights up a couple foot pedals and an old cord.

* 15,000 French Open fans go nuts over umpire's call in match, refusing to call a ball out after player hits it twice and then protests it missed the line.  Crowd is outraged.  Crowd is also wrong, naturally, as that's the rule...  With their logic, they'd probably want to replay a bowl game from January thinking a receiver stepped out of bounds.  Then.

* French fans own fault for playing in the dirt.  British fans at least have the decency to play on the grass.  U.S.  fans take a more practical approach and pave the lawn...

* Ace considers this, looking out his window onto the front yard.

* Jester celebrates 1st anniversary of his gout attack and decides to jab toe with scissors to recall last year.

Ace; speaking of which, time to go to work.

[Bill]

You might have saved the wear and tear on the sissors and substituted a bit 'o gin.  Maybe alot (yes, I know -  really 2 words) of gin.  Then you wouldn't have cared about going to work, or much else, probably.  You wouldn't have, but just coasted into the week end.

Talk about slow to change, acouple of years ago I purchased a Sony VCR and the default setting was still Beta, long after Beta disappeared.

Probably the same group that vetoed the Euro Constitution, good for US, bad for them.  Well think about it.  Does the U.S. really want a unified Euro economy?

As Jester peers out at the world, tries to snap a picture of a really tiny bird and silently falls out of the Watchtower.  A near-death experience.

Bill; I'd settle for artificial turf.

[Ace]

I was listening to an appoggiatura, outside my window...

Ace; I was.

[Bill]

You're suggesting the bird's song is a non-functional discord that resolves itself?   Bet you can't do that with your lit pedals, even sitting down with 2 feet!

Pretty dang sophisicated for a tiny litle bird.  Or, do we have a case here where the overly structured concept is being superimposed upon reality?  I wonder?
Must take a particularly fine ear to discern such subtlety.  Huh?

After I read the banner the first time I thought  maybe you were talking about losing your bells.

Bill;  on the niight train.

[Ace]

Sure, that too.  And I even spelled it correctly.

That should be good for 7 minutes of fame, if not the whole 15.  Criminy, David Tidmarsh rode the thing for a year, from My Old School.  He's a foot taller than he was when he gained fame and fortune.

aCe; I'll take the fortune, first.

[Bill]

But he certainly and correctly  pointed to the Jester as he spelled 'gaminerie'.
And then hid behind his placard to avoid the admonising glances....from his school mate alum.

[Ace]

I hate looking up words, especially French ones.  It's either some collection of fiction or a nasty joke about chewing gum.

Ace; I've run spelling bees but never competed in one.

[Bill]

Even the Engish speaking suffer from American, as do we them, or theirs.  Or something like that.

[Ace]

Succotash is the martyr of the vegetable kingdom.

Ace; In the kingdom of the Deaf the one-eared man can't wear glasses.

[Ace]

This isn't the poast about pandas; this is the poast about me, dangit.

And so, in honour of me, I should like to comment on the photo just poasted:

"No comment."

Ace; I ain't touchin' that one...

[Buffalo2102]

Yeah, me neither.  I coud be really risque about that one but it would likely get me banned.

Buff; gutter-minded.

[Ace]

Hey! Buff is back!  Go for it, buddy!  You can do it!  

You are our Designated Risque Taker!  If you can't do it, no one can!  G'wan!  Take a shot!  I'd be "lion" if I didn't say I know you can do it!  Go for it!  Life's too short, and so's the stay here for some people, so know that we will Honour Your Memory and do some really nice Farewell Poast In Your Honor.  Ur.

Ace; is he doing it yet?  How about now?  

[Ace]

Shoot, I'm not little.  But it was nice of you to say it.

Ace; I thought he was cooking rapscallions in that other poast about pizza, and food...

[Buffalo2102]

Great, another food poast.

Can't log onto Poasters these days without  getting hungry.

Buff; there goes the dye-it.

[Ace]

What I do to lose my appetite is seek out recipes using radishes, or advice on how to cook eggs in fruit.  That usually does it for me.

ace; or eat All Bran.  It's filling, as would be ingesting Wood.

[Bill]

I must say, that is either one very large cat or one very small woman.  

The only thing risque there is being in the same locale with the beast.  Yes, I meant the cat.  

If fried radishs and eggs&fruit are the menu, you won't need a diet.   Things will take care of themselves.

Bill

[Ace]

I vote for "all of the above."  

No, see, the obscene vulgar thing Buff was going to say was "well, let me

Ok; hold on a minute. I'll let him say it.

ace; soon as he gets here.

[Bill]

Oh, g'wan , Ace.  Go for it.  If Buff can do it, you can too!  Where is your spirit of adventure, the devil may care attitude?

Bill; but not me.

[Ace]

That could become something... "Oh be G'Wan Ace", like Obi Wan Kenobi.  Sorta.

No, I am going to let Buff handle this and get ALL THE CREDIT since he will do it at the highest quality standard and QC and JIT and other industrial terms I'm not sure of.  Oh, and MSRP.

I would never attempt to steal his thunder...

Maybe a hailstone, or two...  Brief downpour; sure.  Lake effect snow, I guess.  A drizzle.  Some partly clouds, you bet.  But no thunder.

Ace; I am like a ray of sunshine, here.  Through a magnifying glass, cooking an ant...

[Bill]

Like this?

http://www.robrob8.com/games/ant-city.htm

Bill; one hot number, eh?

[Ace]

That's a good game.  I'd forgotten about that.  Except on dialup it takes about a week to load.  Heck, what doesn't.

Many was the day I spent as a child roasting things in the hot sun.  Including myself, since I had to be in it to do it.

Ace; what a dissolute youth.

[Buffalo2102]

Ok.  The thing about the woman with the big....cat.  I don't think I need to go there do I?  I mean,  it seems as though Ace has already got it anyway.  I'm sure that you others have too.  It's not as if mine is the only gutter-mind here.  Is it?

Anyway, I'll not say another word on the subject.  No siree, Bob.  Case closed.

Buff; chickened out.  

[Ace]

You Buffalo Chicken. Wing. Geez.
Criminy.  Way to step up, and sit down.  Way to set a goal and protect it.  No wonder you get to use your hands.

Ace; man, if Johnny Carson was alive he'd take it...

[Buffalo2102]

Sure, but he's not a Poaster and so doesn't have as much to lose.

Buff; he's lost it now, anyway

[Bill]

No, I don't think he's lost.  Fairlawn.  And, I doubt he'll wander off anywhere.

He was never one for much in the risque department; not you you Buff.

[Ace]

I finally figured it out; "You You Buff" is a lot like "Yo Yo Ma."

I wonder if Raquel Welch ever visits him at the cemetary... with her cat.

Ace; I don't miss a thing.