JESTER RISES, THEN SURPRISES

[Ace]

From under my rock, as it were... And at 7:00, just because I have to get a hair shave and bathe before travelling East.

So on this day:

[size=8]LOOKOUT!!!!![/size] YELLED THE EASTERJESTER, Jumping out from the bushes causing small children to scream and throw their egg baskets about.

On this day last year, the Jester mistakenly returned to the Chatroom from 7 days in the desert, and Returned The King.  In hopes not to resurrect Scuzzy at this time, I have decided for this year's holiday fest to do something entirely different:

Leave.

I figure I can depart the premises, and head to Elkhart, and entrust the place to my cohorts.  Yes, I'll miss a few poast points in the process, but this holiday teaches us that sacrifices must be made for the greater good.  And so, I depart.  Goodbye.


Since Whiz already knows what I'm going to say, I suspect others do as well.  And with this new push to have the inane unaccounted for, my work here is the usual suspect.  With that in mind, I figure I don't need to poast as it will just be redundant to what you were already thinking and I wouldn't get credit for it anyway, on my point totals.  So I go.  Away.  Bye.

I'll be back, after dinner.  Probably check in then.  Maybe someone could poast what I would've, had I been here.  I hope it's better than my usual drivel.  I'd like to be pleasantly surprised, and finally read something I didn't expect, from me.

Have a nice holiday, whether it's in church or scurrying about your yard looking for chicken remnants or inhaling potato chips during the tournament games.  Know that I am with you, even when I'm not.  Know what I would've said, if I had.  You know what I mean.

Oh, and LOOKOUT!!!  You never know when some bell festooned psycho will jump out of the bushes.  You can never be too careful, when carrying eggs.  And don't count them, before.

Ace; your EasterJester.  But just for today.  Tomorrow I'm the JesterDyngus.  Dingling jester dyngus...

[Bill]

Well, thanks for the warning, about returning after dinner.

I can just see the Jester at Easter Dinner.  
"Ok, then, I won't take all the gravey."
" You misspelled Grace."
"LOOKOUT, you stepped on my dang pointy shoes, again, dangit."
"Geez, Louise, you knew I was going to say that; here too?"

Happy Easter.

Bill; not going anywhere, but I could.

[Ace]

Of course it's ok to repeat things I say.  I repeat things I say.  I repeat things you've said... I'll repeat this, at some point, in the near or far future.  

Thank you, Bill and Joh for stepping up and stepping in.  I would hate for the little children here to be disappointed in not having something new, if not entirely, in place today.  I get your points, and appreciate the teamwork we show each and every day, including weekends and holidays.

I don't know if I would recommend having the Cheerleader be brought back to life, any more than the Beat Cop.  Although I'd rather that than have to go back to Elkhart... A day in Elkhart is like a week in most places.

I could use an endemic, after all I ate today.  Now that Lent is over, and my feasting, I gotta start fasting.  Although I'm sure not too quick until this back straightens out.

Every body go get some rest; tomorrow is the Monday After, and Dyngus Day.  My grandmother, who was Polish (and married to the Irishman) would tell me "Dyngus Day is the day when the boys would switch the legs of the girls."

Taking her literally, as you know is my habit, I thought she meant that literally, and besides seeming to be anatomically impossible it was troubling to me just from a pain standpoint, as a child.  

What she meant was "switching" as in hitting/striking with a stick...  That made me feel better to understand that, although probably not the girls.  

So; go out tomorrow and switch the legs of some girls.  But don't forget to poast, too.  People's lives depend on it.  Whether we be Musketeers, or Stooges, there is a reason for this cooperation.

Oh; and I got dibs on Angelina Jolie's legs, as far as switching them.

Ace; that's probably where that photo editing software can pay off...

[Bill]

Hey, I'm glad you survived the the trip East and the tomb - of Elkhart.

Fasting and the associated shrinkage of the waistline would be helpful for your ailing back.  So would some vicodin vicodan  codeine with some aspirin, and would work faster than fastin'.

So you were off glomming dinner from some unfortunate soul or souls and then complain about the company and having to travel there to get it.  Geez.  Next you're going to tell the world er maybe just us, that the meat was overcooked while it was being kept warm in the oven, the gravey was lumpy and the wine was poorly matched to the menu and not to your taste.
Some people's kids....

Bill; we ate in, wife, Fido and me, in between walks in the rain.
Meat was overcooked, no gravey and the wine was warm.

[Ace]

Well, I was going to say the ham was overcooked and the gravy sorta thin and the Pinot Grigio was too fruity but I suppose I won't, now.  Sigh.  

My annoying Brother in Law made a point of telling me 5 or a million times how he picked Kentucky and North Carolina in his basketball pool at work, which consists of all of 5 people or so.  And Illinois.  And that he hoped to have 3 of 4 in the final 4.  Of which I told him 6 or a zillion times that 1. I dislike NC and KY intensely, and didn't care  2. And didn't pick any of the kind, except IL  3. And to shut up, due to 1.  So I could only enjoy the Michigan State game, since it made him unhappy.  Schadenfreude at work; it's the holiday craze.

My 81 year old father in law hid the Easter eggs... from himself.  My wife finally located them, to hide again.  From him, mostly.

It's to get to 70 degrees here tomorrow, after weeks with highs in the 40s.  The back is loosening up, so hopefully the Spring Runs start soon.  I'd make a pun of that, but Johnny scared me out of trying any today.  

It's a day for Polish Sausage and Beer.  Personally, I'll probably go with a ham sandwich and a Pepsi, later.  Close enough.

Ace; Kielbasa.

[Bill]

"Schadenfreude"?  My, aren't we out there on the cutting edge of the the lingua franca.  Ever wonder why there isn't an English no wait American word for such a common human feeling? In the word's of Andy Rooney, "Well I have.   Look here, I've gathered samples of all these human emotions on my desk...."

"The Spring Run... of salmon?  The only Spring Run here in NJ is the stream that is coursing through our back yard.  The dang ground is so saturated that after it stops "coursing"  we'll have a pond for a day or so.  While the Koi appreciate the additional free space, I could do without the added landscape design feature.
It demands so much more effort.  Put the water wings on Fido, let him swim, take the water safety things off, dry him off, etc. By the time I get finished, he's ready to start over again.  

Schadenfreude, indeed.

Bill; a new Polar Bear Club member.

[Ace]

Fido the Fish.

duh duh  duh duh  duh duh  duh duh

Ace; I'd hate to have Andy Rooney floating in my backyard.

[Bill]

"Fish" is a bit of an understatment.

http://tinyurl.com/6d5o7

He really dislikes the rain.

Bill; good thing he knows who feeds him.

[Ace]

You should take Fido to Australia and let him swim off the beach.

He could bite the arm off the hand that feeds him...

Ace; dogfish.

[Bill]

Speaking of "Schadenfreude", the local paper this morning was bemoaning the demise of American phrases in favor of the more catchy Brit equivalents.
"At the end of the day",  "went missing", etc, rapidly replacing good ol' "in the end", "is missing", etc.  I, for one, favour the Americanisms, what?
Maybe our chaps across the pond can shine the torch on some of this, eh?

Bill; catfish I can tolerate.

[Ace]

Hello, Harold.

Sure, our compatriots across the waters might share their thoughts and maybe the Americanisms they find most favourable, if they weren't in shock from the "Camille will be Queen/Will Not/Will Too" rollercoaster.  

I'd bet they use Americanisms like:
Criminy.
Geez Louise.
You maroon.
Your welcome. Dangit.


And the universal sign of peace:
Stinking pandas stink.

And the ultimate insult:
You're so inane you should be pointless.

ACe; all the time.  

[Ace]

Ok; look.  I have never poasted 8 tons in this dang place.  At least not at once.  Over the course of a week, maybe...  But not in a single sitting.

Ace; c'mon.  

[Bill]

Well I was fooled.  I looked at the "blue" Americanisms and thought "Geez, Ace found links to his favourite phrases.  Bah.  Blue look alike links that don't do anything or go anywhere.  "Blue" should be stricken from the colour spectrum, here.

Omitting the "the", particularly in the phrases "go to University" or "at University" always strikes me.  
Yes, it would be interesting to hear the "other side" thoughts.

Why would he be blamed?  Sounds like the "load" was delivered.  Here, too.

Bill; Bet he smells like a panda, now.

[Ace]

I was here.  I was here before all of ya were.  I was in the Quantex room before there were Quantexes.   Criminy, I was here before there was a dang Jester.  I was

Ok. Hold it.  Alright, never mind.

Ace; I am at University, dangit.  

[Ace]

No way.  I don't want a "gift."  I earn my dang points.

And my dang twitchy stars.

And that grinning doofus deathshead emoticon Jester thing.  Along with the tricorner tricolor stupid bell festooned cap.  The whole kit and kaboodle.  

Ace; if I was 3,300 lbs. I know who I'd sit on, first.

[Bill]

Maybe, but your back would hurt, a lot more than it does now.  But, you'd probably do some major damage to the SUV, and the sidewalk.

Do points still count for recycled stuff?

Bill; recycled stuff gets picked up tomorrow.

[Ace]

I'm not putting any out if I don't get any dang credit for it.

If "inane" comments aren't tallied, then they oughta not count any poast with:

1. Some URL to nowhere
2. More emoticons than words
3. Any plea for advice on purchases by anyone without spending cash
4. Any joke without a blond()e in it.
5. Any blue link to nowhere
6. Any photo of snow.
7. Any attempt at a joke featuring "ChinChin" the panda
8. Anyone without a tilted twitchy star

Heh.  That last one was a joke.

Oh; shoot.  That's only 8, and any top ten list has to have 10.  Ok.  Lemme think.

Dangit.  I thought my work here was done... man....

Ok; here:

9. Any poast from anyone from England that doesn't include a nice photo or mention of Angelina Jolie.

10.  Uh.

Ok; any poast that gets you banned.  I know, sometimes people can't help it, but it doesn't help if you're not here to be part of this, here.  Although I will say the banned are very cheery, going by their final poasts.  A lot of Mea Culpa, too.

Ace; man, I never thought I'd get that dig back in... Point for moi.

[Bill]

That  your new favorite word?  You have only used it about a gazillion times in the last week, across an equal number of threads.  And you were right a couple of days ago, about the "s".

I don't know any Ms. Culpa.  Mia Farrow maybe.
Isn't she related to Su, and Woody?

And on top of that, I have NO idea what you're talking about, banned indeed.

Bill, I'm still here and was here last Easter, for a while.

[Ace]

That's right.  HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Oh. I hope you don't try that, as a link...  Especially back in time.

I tell ya, somebody once said you need a good memory here.  Ain't that the truth.  I wish I could remember whom...

Personally, I'm glad the points don't matter.  I'm not going to gain anymore stars, thank goodness, or some "Masterblaster" title enhancement.  Once you're a full fool and you're at your twitchy max it's all status quo.

Criminy.  Greek, then Latin.  And German, earlier this week.  I don't even have a favorite language, let alone a word...

I'm hoping the big dork billionaire administrator on House gets some mysterious ailment; to be the first one the team doesn't save...

Ace; I gotta run.  No, really; I'm gonna run.  It's over 50 this morning.  Well, who isn't, huh...

[Bill]

Yes, I agree and it should be very painful as well.  And then he can die.  But that wouldn't give us, or House, the satisfaction of hearing the big dork recant.  Either way would be OK.

The alternatives to a good memory are to take notes or make copies of everything.  I don't do any of the above.  Life here is more fun that way.

Speaking of fun, going back in time isn't.

Bill; keep it in the day.

[Ace]

Every day's full of surprises once your memory is gone.

I make mental notes, myself.

No, that doesn't work...

Ace; I'm trying to keep it in the month.  At least till Friday.

[Bill]

My mental notes are usually very pleasant.  At the moment they're sounding like Clapton.

Bluesy Bill

[Ace]

Yeah; me too.

Ace; Bob Clapton, accordionist with "Bob's Polka Princes"

[Bill]

Must be left over from Dyngus Day.  They get to ride in the back of the truck with the equipment?

Billski

[Ace]

Better than the top.

Speaking of stupid news items:  Local station here just reported a fire at a place that "manufactures palates."

I sure hate a burning palate.  With cajun food it's almost a given.  

Ace; that's gotta hurt.  To be that dumb.

[Bill]

Geez, talk about "inane", what an excuse to be the one to take this to  page 2.

Where are you now, about 5000 points?

Ya, dis is da polka place, sure.  Bob's Polka Palace or should that be Palate?
Last time I checked it wasn't burning, yet.

Bill; just stupid, not domb.

[Ace]

Well, you'd have been up to 2,300 or so if you wouldn't have kept changing your name.  You don't see me changing my dang name every dozen poasts or so.  Any more.

Bob's Polka Emporium.  Acapolka U.  Polka Your Palate.

Ow.  That's not good.  Dangit.

Ace; c'mon baby light my palate.

[Bill]

My name has always been "Bill" - er just not always here.   We all have our little skeletons or alter personas or slightly dirty laundry hiding in the closet or under the bed.   I happen to keep mine in the hamper though.  

While I'm staring at this screen I realized I don't have the vaguest idea what a "YABBC tag" is. Yes, I know , its dangling.  Smilies I think I understand. ;D

Bill; more greek to me.