THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD

[Ace]

Oh, if you met me I'm sure you'd find me memorable.  Heck, everyday at work, people seem to remember me.  Well, sure, some don't, but the majority do.  I even get biscuits for the stupid pooch.  I maintain its her fault.

Yes, I know I referred to her as "he" earlier... it was a typo.  Geez.  Like the dog's gonna read this, you know?

My dog could read.  Well, she could read me... she knew if I called her into the hallway, which meant crossing the kitchen tile, it was all going to come to no good...  The jump.  The shout.. The wheels spinning... the skid.

And then the infernal barking.  Criminy, that dog would bark for absolutely no reason.  

Ace; dog's need to trust their masters.  First, I had to convince her who was leading the dang pack.  You'd think she'd get that, over time.

[Bill]

If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes. Why should she get it?  Think she wanted to follow you around?   Geez  Pointy hat with bells would make anything bark, or at least object, loudly.
You know,  first there has to be a master....

Bill; you misspelled my favorite vodka.

[Ace]

Your favorite vodka is called "biscuits"...?  That's just weird.

"Yes, I'll have the buttermilk biscuits and a martini, thank you. Make that with Biscuits, if you would my good man."

Ace; unless he meant "lead dog."  I've had Mad Dog, but that's not good in a mixed drink at all.  Maybe it's a vodka called "Wheels Spinning."  I could see that might be appropriate.

[Bill]

Actually it's Master's, with the apos - you know one of
these  " ' ".

Although "buttermilk biscuits" sounds interesting, but then anything goes with vodka.

[Ace]

I know "ER" goes with pancakes.  

"Master's vodka."  What grain did they use for that?  Rye? Wheat? Potatoes?  Onion buns?  Pumpernickle?  

I'll have to send Bill a bottle.  That would be a nice jester.  Gesture.

ace; after I drain it.

[Bill]

If you can find some in Iana, that would be a nice gesture.  It would help you celebrate life.   But if you decide to sample it, don't bother to refill the bottle.

"ER" goes with pancakes like Bacon goes with "EKG"
"Stress tests" go with fun like "Hangovers" go with smiles.

Don't get me started on analogies.  

Bill; I didn't have to run for mine.

[Ace]

We can have an analogy game called "Simile Smilies."  Pose different ones, with an appropriate emoticon.  That'd be a swell way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Or not.  

The snow's melting, so at least that's keeping me inside.  I'm doing the treadmill, to practice for Tuesday.  I hope to set a record.  Hey, wouldn't it be something to have Treadmill in the Olympics?  

Right up there with "floor exercise" and "synchronized poasting."

Getting to the bottom of a poast is like getting to the bottom of your vodka bottle; it seems like clear sailing, but then it gets foggy at the end.  8)  those are foglasses, not sunglasses.

Ace; there's no place like homepage.

[Bill]

If we just skip the analogies and move right to the emoticons Trav could play too.   :P :P :P :P

Swell, now we'll trade hipboots for snowboots.   Water, water everywhere, and the boards ain't shrinking.  Water, water everywhere and the furball has lots to drink.

Practicing is futile, except for the benefit of the exercise.  
It's either gonna pass or not, one.  [A little Southern syntax for all the linguistic Higgins's here.  (Two s s just didn't look right and a dash has to be incorrect.)]

Brackets prolly ain't right either.

Bill; dangit.

[Ace]

A flooded Monday can't be good.  They're hard enough without being wet too.  I think that was a song title..."Flooded Monday.."  Oh, hold it.  "Stormy Monday" maybe.  It was a little before my time.

My time is 7:52.  Wait; hold it.  It just changed.

Of course it's for the benefit of exercise.  Geez, it's not like I eat All Bran because of the "taste."  

Bracketing parenthetical statements is getting pretty high tech.  Half the time I'll use a paranthese(s) and forget to include the other one, so it's like I lower my voice to make an "aside" and then just drift off without finishing my thought...

So..

Huh.  I forget what I was going to say.  Probably something about bathing a furball, since it's wet out anyway.  

Ace; I don't have either hipboots or snowboots.  I've just got one pair of hightops.  ??? I almost forgot to use an emoticon

[Bill]

Ah, the master of the stage whisper...if only you could remember what

[Ace]

What what?  

You know, I was just looking in the mirror and reflecting on the giant dome forming in the crater at Mt. Saint Helen's.

Ace; I always get stage right and stage left confused.

[Bill]

Must be one heck of a mirror to pick up reflections from Washington.  Or were you contemplating something closer?  

Sounds like you and Ledy could belong to the same club.   Both Winners, at least Saturday.  Hey, one out of eight isn't too bad for a guy about to retire.   He could already be asleep at this desk or on the floor, if he still goes in the gym.

Bill; exit stage up.

[Ace]

Ledy?  Who the heck is "Ledy"?  I know Marv Levy...  I am completely at a loss as to whom this is.

I need Johnny to poast a Ledy link, or something.  I am clueless.  "Go down to the ledy...?"  I'm lost.

Ace; I hate it when stuff stumps me.

[Bill]

So I misspelled his name....Not being a Boilermaker myself, it was close.  " one of eight"  and "Saturday"  and the "gym" should have been enough....

You must be distracted by something.  
Oh, yeah, I remember - Tuesday.

Bill; I hate running.

[Ace]

Well, sure, except it was Sunday... And there's no "L" in Keady.  Otherwise it was a great clue.  Like in that "Where's Waldo" where they're all hidden behind the wall.

Nice photo of King Keady.  His hair is more black this year; darker than an eel's esophagus.  It's a color not found in nature.  And good coverage, for the middle part.  It's hard to get a side part to come up from your shoulder...

Maybe Trump and Keady could compete in "Hair That's Not Human."

I nominate you for Honorary Boilermaker, for thinking of them.  I don't think much of them, this year.  I had hoped they'd carry Keady out on their shoulders... and dump him in the Wabash.

Ace; 1 in a row.  

[Bill]

That's one heck of a winning record!
Thanks for the nomination but I'd prefer to be served a Boilermaker than be one.  Think I'll stay a Bronc.

By the way, if you don't own an umbrella:



Bill;  Jimi played the dice and lost.

[Ace]

Flying Pigs; at war.  That is too cool.

Here's some "Worst Feelings" I thought of:

1. Looking in the mirror and seeing Gene Keady looking back.
2. Looking in your bed and seeing Mrs. Gene Keady.
3. Having a boatload of Purdue caps, shirts and sweatshirts you can't wear in public, out of embarrassment.
4. Any day IU wins.
5. Finding out a Boilermaker actually tastes like a Boilermaker.

Bleah.

Ace; I'm glad I'm not a bucking bronc, just because I don't want to say that 5 times fast.

[Bill]

I had one this morning:

The kid is too smart to come back home in the winter and the son's puppy is now Dad's albatross...at 7:15, pre-coffee.


bill: Broncs didn't do much bucking when I was there.

[Ace]

That has got to be one heavy furry necklace to wear around.  I suppose it's like in the poem, with water water everywhere.  Although ours is still solid and white for the most part.  Well, grayish white.  Well, brownish grayish... offwhite.  Really dirty white.

That's almost an oxymoron.  I think that's the stuff you add to the laundry, to make whites whiter.  OxymoronClean.

Ace; a whiter shade of pale, I guess.

[Bill]

Thank somebody the the Oxymoron that was hyping that stuff is gone from TV.  Talk about an anoying commercial!

How about just dirty, sloppy, used to be pretty for about 5 minutes, slush underfoot  that makes walking a trial.

Speaking of trials,  magic man shows up in white for for jury selection?  What's that about?

[Ace]

Well, geez, he is white.  Maybe he thought it'd be like camouflage, and nobody could see him then.


ace; he's all white by me.

[Bill]

That's fine, except I was talking about the defendant.

And, yes, I know. I misspelled annoying - just to see if you'd catch it.  Too bad.

Pigs with wings, hmmm, with special sauce and a sesame seed bun.  

Glad you're back, again.

Bill

[Ace]

Well, if I described what's in the briefcase in YOUR bedroom accurately and then it was taken custody into evidence, I guess YOU"D have some explaining to do.

Or "splaining" if you're Ricky Ricardo.

Ace; I always felt a strange affinity to Lucille Ball.  Although I've only smoked one Cuban.

[Bill]

How the heck did you find out about that stuff anyway?
Two copies of PC World and Nerds R Us, and a bootleg copy of AOL 9.0 Optimized.  That would be the Killer at trial.

I don't 'splain to nobody.  Ba ba loo!  

Wha I red is my bisinezz.

[Ace]

I go with the PC Worlds too.  Not like I understand it, but I like the pictures.  And Car & Driver, and/or Motor Trend.  And Guitar Player.  And Edwin Watts golf equipment catalogs.  

Sometimes I'll sneak a peak at my wife's "O" for "Oprah" mag.  I like the ads.  Wait; it's all ads.  

Ace; I was just guessing on the briefcase.  I keep mine in a drawer.

[Bill]

You keep your drawers in the bathroom.  I generally wear mine.  I take Karl's advice: "Don't leave home without them."

[Ace]

I wonder if lawyers wear legal briefs.  I do; I wonder.

Here's a new one:
Worst feeling... Seeing a new poast chain devoted to underwear of Poasters.  

Ace; can't wait till Johnny sends an explanatory link.

[Buffalo2102]

Had the worst feeling in the world yesterday.  A server at work decided to lock up which was very unusual as it is Unix based.  Anyway, the worst feeling came when I rebooted it and the screen just decided to display the same error message over and over.

Device I/O error writing to target......

It took various parts "borrowed" from other machines, lots of cursing and over 14 hours of sweat and tears before I could get it back to it's former state.

Now all I've got to do is fix the other machines that I dismantled......

[Ace]

Boy, I read that about the server crashing and error message and all the work and trouble you had to go through to get things fixed and how hard that all was and discouraging and I kept thinking

"Man, Angelina Jolie sure is hot.  That's a good photo."

Ace; while you're doing all that other fixing of other stuff, keep poasting those photos.  

[Bill]

That's really funny.  I read about Buff's "worst feeling"
and was thinking: man, that's cool, Buff gets to work with servers all day and all those high tech toys - better than an all day visit to Best Buy.  

Who the heck is this Jolie person?  Some funny stand-up comic?  Are you sure it's not spelled "Jolly"?

Bill; Techies R Us is another super pasttime.