More Blond(e)...

[Ace]

I know; I am so sorry... 

I blame Bubba, mostly.  If he would have been here. to make up some dumb joke, then none of this would have happened.  I just hope no impressionable children wandered in, during that.

Ace; I am innocent until proven guiltless. 

[pat]

Ahh, if they were really blonde, they would have picked it up and shaken the s..... stuff out of it

Filaments of his imagination they were.

[Ace]

What's a "lottery winning"...?

Congrats J on your windfall; from previous dealings I always thought of them as the Anti-Social Security Office. 

Ace; were any of them blonde?

Jesters are upposed to nudity in poasts unless absolutely necessary to advance the plot

[iansl]

I'm back.
To resurrect this megapoast.
To pay homage to a poast that was started quite possibly when I was in middle school.

Despite the fact that I just wasted a few hours of my life reading the whole darned thing, complete with squirrels and repeated jokes, I won't go back and figure out exactly when it began.

So I leave everyone with a blonde joke...and no, it's 3:14 a.m. here, not 4:14...I'm in college in MDT.

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A; Glue a mirror to the bottom of a swimming pool.

IanSL; Now with signatures...make sure that mirror is in the deep end!

[Ace]

Thank You IanSLI; criminy, we needed that.  But Geez Louise don't read the whole poast... just the last part.  Shoot, you already lost an hour just by moving west.

Great joke, and great timing; I have to see my father in law for his 84th birthday today and needed something funny enough to test his survivability.  I'll see if he can take it. 

You know, actually, the joke is even funnier if the mirror was in the shallow end...  I like a healthy dose of stupid along with a killer joke.

Ace; I knew there was something worthwhile you could do at 4:14...

[iansl]

Fun fact: the BR (blond(e) ratio) here is darned low. There are some here, but the amount is small in relation to other places, IMO.

Then again, the ratio of guys to girls is pretty skewed in the former direction as well, FWIW.

IanSL; My worthwhile act for 4:14 is sleep, whether that's a.m. or p.m.

[iansl]

Gimme a break, ja :|

1) I'm at an engineering school; only maybe one or one and a half people study blonde bleach...not that anyone would want to use it for fear of failing courses here...
2) This is only my second semester sitting at my computer in a room that measures eight eet by ten feet, in a building that is two blocks from the main campus, which has a cafeteria to make McDonalds look palatable. Yes, I'm moving out and into a place where I don't have to pay for a disgusting, outrageously expensive meal plan next school year.

IanSL; this time next week, I'll be back home, this time next hour I will see whether my Macbook Air HDD survived Apple diagnostics...wish SpinRite would ron on EFI

[iansl]

Nah...we're all too busy complaining about Physics, Calculus or Chemistry. Physics 2, word has it, is in the top three for hardest required courses in the nation.

IanSL; I don't recall having a blond(e) teacher this or last semester...maybe the grey-haired ones werre blond though...

[pat]

A blonde walks into a store. She finds a great TV and goes up to the clerk.
"Sir, I'd like to buy that TV over theres so I can watch American Idol ."
"Sorry, we don't sell those to blondes."
What? she thought.
So, she dyes her hair red and goes back again.
"Sir, I'd like to buy that TV over there.so I can watch American Idol "
"I'm sorry, we don't sell those to blondes."
Uggh! This was really getting on her nerves!
So, she dyes her hair brown and goes back AGAIN.
"Sir...I'd really like to buy that TV over there so I can watch American Idol ."
"...I'm sorry...we don't sell those to blondes."
"AHHHH! HOW DID YOU KNOW I'M A BLONDE?!!!!"
"Well...because you want to watch American Idol."

BRA..HA....HA...HA.....HA.....HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pat]

Well, I suppose you could substitute wrestling for AI................ ;)

[Ace]

No; you canNOT substitute Professional Wrestling with American Idol.

There are not than many chunky men on American Idol whom wear tight clothing and show off their build.

Well, ok, besides Simon and Randy, not that many fat guys in tight clothes.  Paula was kinda banded and bonded last night, too. 

Ace; ha. ha.

[Ace]

Blonde:  "A jester says 'what'...

Jester:  "Huh?"

[Ace]

A blonde ran into a Jester on her way to work.  The Jester said "Ow."

[JimS]

Two blonds walked into a building.


You'd think maybe one of them would have noticed it...

[Dan$]

What did the blonde say when she walked into a bar???




"OUCH"

  :D

[Dan$]

Did you hear about the dumb blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?????


They went to go see the movie "Closed For The Winter"

[Dan$]

What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say?????


;D Having a great time! Where am I? ???
                                                      :D

[Dan$]

What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you? :o


You'd pull the pin and throw it back! ;D

[Dan$]

What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?  :-\



Lipstick ::)

[Dan$]

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?  ??? :-\



She didn't want to waken the sleeping pills.

[Dan$]

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? ??? :-\


She fell out of the tree. :D

[Dan$]

What's the difference between a smart blonde and the Yeti?
:-\

The Yeti has been spotted. ::) ;D

[Dan$]

What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common? :-\



Sooner or later they'll both end up in the gutter. 8)

[Dan$]

How many blonde jokes are there?  :-\ ??? :-X


Only one. All of the others are true stories :o ;D

[Dan$]

Top 10 Blonde Science Fair Projects


10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous?

9) Is lighter fluid flammable? 

8)What hurts more falling off a building, or a cliff?

7) Are knives sharp?

6) Can sharks hurt a human?

5) What happens if I stick my hand in a piranha aquarium?

4) Can I break my arm hitting it against a wall?

3) Can I eat broken glass and live?

2) Can dogs talk?

1) Are blondes really dumb?

[Dan$]

One blonde was tried of everyone thinking blondes were dumb. To prove them wrong she single-handedly memorized the capital of every American State. She goes to a bar and shes a man laughing at a blonde joke.
"Hey not all blondes are dumb I'll prove it to you, ask me for the capital of any state!"
"OK, how about California." The blonde thought for a second then proudly said
"C..."

[JimS]

Dan, it's interesting that, on your own and without prompting, you come up with 16 poastings in two days; try to get you to answer four social studies questions for homework, and it takes an eternity.

And speaking of 16 poasts in two days, if you look back, I have some poasts with 50 or more blond(e) jokes in each.  Talk about running up the score; I'd have more poasts than Ace if I used your method.

One last thing (I'll whisper it): spell check.

[Ace]

I hope there aren't 6,234 on the way.  I'm glad they weren't asked to name the capitols.  And, no, venomous snakes aren't poisonous.  With a venomous snake, it bites you and you're sick.  With a poisonous one, you bite it and you're sick. 

In hopes of the death of blondes and jokes:

Three blondes die and find themselves at the Pearly Gates.  St. Peter tells them "explain what Easter means, and you can pass through to heaven..."

The first blonde answers, "Oh.  That's when we get gifts from Santa and decorate the tree!"  To which, St. Peter shakes his head.

The second blonde says "I know! That's when we gather with family around the table for a big turkey dinner with all the fixings and give thanks, and then watch football!"  St. Peter grimaces, and says "No..."

The third blonde responds, "Easter is when Jesus had the Last Supper and was taken into custody and was crucified and then was buried in the tomb for three days and was resurrected."

St. Peter, with some relief, said "Yes!  Alright... you can go on through."

And the third blonde added "And if he sees his shadow we'll have 7 more weeks of winter."

Ace; I know, it's probably already part of the chain, but I was afraid to look past the last page.

[Ace]

THE SADDEST (BLOND) JOKE EVER

A blond guy said:

"Sure, my dog and I used to play catch... I'd throw the ball, and he'd run and catch it, and bring it back.  But I could never get him to throw it to me.  So, I just quit playing with him."

[Bill]

A fitting end.....

Bill