Blond(e) Detectives

[JimS]

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.  To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.  "This is your suspect.  How would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's because the picture shows his profile."  Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect.  How would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha!  He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!?  Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!!  Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect.  How would you recognize him?"  He quickly adds"... think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.  "Well, that's an interesting answer... wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.  "Wow!  I can't believe it... it's TRUE!  The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses.  Good work!  How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied."  He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

[Ace]

That was hilarious.  I took it, used it, and cracked up the crowd.  Really appreciate your offering that up.

I should now like to propose that The JimS be banned from the chatroom for all perpetuity for Poasting Denigrating Descriptions Insulting A Minority Plus Majority, And So Encouraging the Ruination Of Morality and Causing a Danger To Any Wandering Children Whom Might Wander In And So Be Soiled By Such Mean Spirited Albeit Funny Attacks.  

Them being blondes, and Women.

Or at least one of the JimS, if not all of them.  Personally, I find the second one particularly dangerous, and more of a troublemaker than the other ones.  The others can always visit, if desired, too.

Had they mentioned the Blondes religion, well then, that would have made it that much worse then, wouldn't it.  Them.  Also, impertinent to the joke, so it probably just would have seemed weird to bring it up.

Ok, then.  Perhaps Crowd Control can now stop by, and take care of this matter.  In the meantime, maybe the JimS have another offering they would like to share...?  I'm pretty sure no harm could come of it, since the charges as leveled would seem impeachable, and he or several will be in the slammer soon enough.  If Justice Be Done.  I figure It Be.

Let It Be.  Good joke, though.  Wholly inappropriate, but a good one.  Anything with monkeys or dead pandas goes over well, too, so keep that in mind.  Or just blond people in general.  Remember; they're just people too.  We ALL have faults and foibles, and I think picking at each and every one is beneficial, in the end.

Ace; about time somebody stepped up with some serious humour.  I'll miss Jim, or the other Jim, though.  Hope the others can cover.

[JimS]

Actually Ace, all of the Jims are pretty ticked off right now.  We thought that we'd finally get three stars after poasting 250 times, but NOOO, we're stuck at two freakin' little stars.  And we always tried to poast meaningful (if overly verbose) poasts, not these few word or a line of smiley faces that runs the poast counter up.  No, we played it straight and fair.

We're mad.  This is war.

[JimS]

Oops, never mind.  We just found out that the star dispenser spits out another at 251.

We're slinking out, tails between our legs...

[Ace]

I'm glad I don't have a tail, because sometimes my pants fit badly enough as it is.  I know that Jim who's soon to depart is gonna miss that third star, though.

It could have been worse; you could have wound up with 3 freaky twitching stars.  I can't think of anyone else who deserves that.

Ace; I'd just as soon not have 4, of those.

[Bill]

Actually, I only see one twitching star, one with a light in the center and one dead one.  Must be a panda relative.  Fortunately we don't yet have olifactory capablity here...sometimes smell-a-vision stinks.

The JimS have a pretty good deal...Ace demands one be banned for poasting inappropriate blonde jokes, another one poasts religious stories that get locked and there are still more JimS to poast another day.  Maybe someone should introduce them to Eve.

[iansl]

Yeah. I think one of Ace's stars dies in convulsions; a dramatic death, as opposed to certain viruses and pandas. Ace can testify for that; he as it in his 'description of his photo'.

Oh, and JimS, that was a good joke. Told it to a person or two and they laughed. Now, if we could insert a frozen monkey holding a book on how to use databases with ScriptVM, that would be great!

[Ace]

I meant "twitching" as in the teen girl squad vernacular, as in:

"Ooh, that quarterback is twitching!  Woot!" or "I just bought a twitching skirt and top ensemble at TeenieWeenie Fashion Bug Outlet...Aight!"

Like twitching, like in that.

They're all freaking stars.  And freaking little, if you want to get right down to it.  That doesn't imply I am asking Admin to enlarge them or add any; no thank you.  I am quite satisfied to quit while I am behind.

I suppose working in an olfactory wouldn't be very nice; I'd rather work in a new one.

Any JimS whom poast religious stories shouldn't feel bad for being locked up as a result, for down through history people have gotten worse than that for their religious stories.  I suppose the only thing more case-sensitive would be political religious stories.  You know you're going to be pushing some twichin' buttons if you try that.

Oh; "twitching" as in the aforementioned teen girl usage.  Not necessarily spastically flipping, as such.  

The only inappropriate blond(e) joke is one that isn't funny.  To me, that criteria works for any joke.  We will probably come to a point, as a civilization (and if we wear hats no one will notice) that either:
1. All jokes will be banned, since by nature they have to wind up poking fun at someone somewhere in some distinctive milieu or class or societal fragment or dedicated foible or unique characteristic, and that poking shall be deemed unacceptable.
2. The gloves are off, and everyone everywhere is an approved target for anything.  As long as all get their fair share of abuse.

I vote for "Plan B."  Criminy, if humour was banned, it wouldn't be funny, you know?

Ace; the flipping Jester twitched convulsively by his glowing dead stars.  Woot.

[JimS]

I thought one of Ace's stars went out also, but since I was looking at it on a smallish notebook screen, I figured the dead star was doing something that my failing eyes couldn't detect on this screen.

A dead star.  The bulb must have died.  I have all of these analogies going through my head right now (not the brightest bulb on the tree, etc.)  Maybe Travis has a spare bulb in his neck he can loan you.

As I said in another thread, I oughta take this schizophrenia thingy and run with it for all it's worth.

Thanks, guys.  This was the best blond(e) (I never know how to spell blond(e) ever since Ace pointed out the different spellings) I've seen in a while.  I just had to poast it.