Eternal Pizza Poast

[Joanie]

Hey Neon,

I bet there is not a live pizza anywhere on the face of this earth that could compete with the pizza you made for us.
Everything else is simply dog meat.

Ace will tell you all about it, you'll see or my name isn't rahrah.

Joanie

[Ace]

Dogmeat beats Anchovies any day of the week.  I tell ya, if I do become a dog, I'm going with kibble waaaay before anchovy.

And look, her name isn't "rahrah", it's Joanie.  You can look it up.

At Pizza Hut you can get sausage, pork sausage, Italian sausage. It's like 3 toppings of the same thing.  Probably same with beef in England; beef, mad cow beef, E-Coli beef...  and chicken.

I tried to taste the "pizza you made for us."  Then I got the windex out and cleaned the screen.  G=ross.

I like cajun food, too, but a blackened pizza..?  I dunno.

Maybe some newbie will come in and say "well, I wanted a serious answer to my serious question about what should be on a serious adult pizza, and not some smart___ comment from Scuzzy. "  And then, I'd say, well: "if every 11th pizza is free, what if on the 10th one you get two?  Then, is it for the 12th one, or half of the 10th? Or do you start the count over? "

I don't trust free stuff, since it isn't lunch by definition.  The difference between sausage and Italian sausage is that there isn't Italian sausage at a Polish wedding.  Kielbasa isn't Italian.  

Ace: I put the "peri" in "experimental"

[Neon]

mmmkay, this is not Korea, and we will not be making any dogmeat pizzas. Blecch. However, Ace you can make the first Alpo pizza, if you like. Just be sure that it makes its own gravy in your mouth.

As for the blackened state of the Poasters pizza, it was only slighly singed, and still tasted good. No need for panic. Nor a fire extinguisher. I sent Ace a sample in a plain brown envelope. Did you get it, Ace?

Ace: I put the "peri" in "experimental"

Well that's good = I heard that you put the "wink" into periwinkle, too.  ;)

[Joanie]

Hey Neon,

Have you ever know a village idiot to have so much to say with so much personality?

Ace is a true Idiot in every sense of the word and we don't ever want anybody to take that away from him. He lives up to his name and he never lets us down, only up.

Joanie

[dcsun]

Don't forget:

"It takes a whole village to raise a village idiot!"

[Ace]

No, I didn't get it Neon.  But heck, I don't get a lot of things.

Otherwise, as to being a real idiot and not just your imaginary one, fine.  You can all take credit, as villagers.  Get you guys some burning torches and pitchforks and you'd be quite a crowd to hang with.

I'm thinking of getting a dog, and calling him "Boy."  Figure that'd be easy for calling him and praising.

acE; maybe it was periscope.  Whatever.

[Joanie]

Hi Ya Dave,

We're a pretty good size village, don't you think? There are enough of us to handle one little Idiot Jester Boy and if we all stick together we'll have a villagers chance of making something very unique out of our Jester. It's going to take teamwork but we're good at that. Pat and Neon could easily develope a plan of action for all of us to follow.

What do you think.

Joanie

[Ace]

Yes, I think you should all formulate a plan of action to follow.  Please, do gather your pitchforks and brickbats and torches and go follow a plan of action.  

Do gather to chase your "little idiot Jester Boy" back to his dungeon.  

Criminy sakes.  You people need a plan of action like this chatroom needs somebody bopping in complaining that the free service wasn't timely or free enough, and that humour has no place in the joke room.  Say, if I have a question about laundry, should I poast it in the "software" forum or the "laptop" forum in case it might be a napkin I'm washing?

Little idiot Jester boy... that's rich.  You are way out of line on that one.

I'm not little.  

Dangit.  

Ace; I didn't come here to be insulted.  I came here to insult, geez Louise.

[Joanie]

Jester Boy.

You do too come here to be insulted and you love it and you know it. I wish you could feel all the love in those insults,  it is so overwhelming.

If your going to do laundry here I suggest we create a "Laundy Room" for all those "wash cloths" because in no way are you going to scrub stuff in the other Forums and you will have to do the laundry by hand since we have no intention of bringing in a washer or a dryer.  Looks like we will have to create a room for the clothes line,  this is getting out of hand.

You are are our Idol Idiot.

Joanie

[Neon]

ENOUGH!  I can see that there is only one way left to get you two to stop bickering. The only honorable means for Ace and Joanie to settle this is...a DUEL!

PIES AT 5 PACES, that is. So limber up your throwing arms, and get ready to choose your toppings! psst...Joanie, pick anchovies, Ace hates 'em

OK, the rules are you each get 20 pie crusts, as much tomato sauce and cheese as you want, but there are a limited number of toppings. You cannot both use the same topping, so choose wisely. You can throw overhand, underhand, frisbee style, whatever you prefer.

Now I want a good clean duel, no throwing the baking sheet at your opponent (OK for use as a shield, though), and may the best Poaster win!

[Joanie]

Ho, Ho, Neon,

Bickering with Ace is so much fun. I will let him have the first  shot with his pizza dough. Right now I am busy gathering up live anchovies and that is no easy feat in the desert.

I wonder which one is my thowing arm,  remember I am a blonde without a lot of muscle. Ace probably has a few muscles left over since he is a golfer. This might not be a fair duel.

Joanie

A day without Ace  is like a day without sunshine.

[Ace]

A night without sunshine is like.. well,... it's like night.

Joanie, for gosh sakes, you're left-legged.  I think that should be a clue.  Only muscle I've used golfing is my brain, asking myself "who said trees are 90% air...?"  I do walk, though, so 4 hours in 95 degrees hoofing it can be a test.  At least as to how many Heinekens I can inhale after.  

Look, I'm not going to be drawn into a tete-a-tete with Neon and you and me and Neon.  He can go commit suicide by pizza if he likes.  Or put his head in the oven to check his next creation.  Or duel himself.  Well, "single" himself.  Whatever.  

No way you can toss a pizza with anchovies, anyway.  Thing will slide right off your hand by the slime.  Plus you'll be blinded by the stench, and throw it on your foot.

I'd just slather myself with BBQ sauce, anyway, if I saw one coming, as an antidote.  The best defense is a good offense, I say.  I'd rather be offensive and beat people to the punch.  Especially relocated-Hoosiers.  Like they have a place in this world.  They're bad enough when they stay home. Here, in the flatlands of the crossroads of the midwest which isn't that far west, mind you.  

Ace; I'm a muscle without much blond.

[Joanie]

Hey Aceio,

 Guess being left legged does make a difference and how many blonds can raise their right arm and have their left leg do a wheelie.

If you walk 4 hours in 95 degree weather that would explain a lot of things, carrying an umbrella might help and should it rain you can put the umbrella back in the golf cart. A parasol might look strange on the golf course even if carried by a Jester.

Neon is going to be so disappointed if a duel between the two of us does not take place.  Let's tell him we made up since he went to a lot of trouble creating that plan of action at my request and besides I was not looking forward to a gathering of anchovies.

Joanie

[Carol]

[Joanie]

Jester,  You must  steal that Jester pic that Carol poasted for you. It is so perfect and looks just like you.

Jrah

[Ace]

How do you know?  He looks like an idiot.

Oh, ok. See your point.

I will try, but I'll probably wind up hijacking the station wagon and the kids... just my luck.  Probably have to try for a ransom demand.

Hey, maybe I could sell it in the forum news room...  well, not if Scuzzy's in there.  I'll have to check.

Ace; stupid gyrating Jester doofus.

[Joanie]

We would all miss that station wagon and the kids if you hijacked it and then Carol would be out 1 car and 2 kids and Poasters would be out 1 very smart kid. Not a good idea Jester.

If you watch the Jester image for a minute or so you can tell he is losing it,  bet he has been lurking around The Poast Office forum and reading all your poasts.  That could do it to anybody.

Personally I thought the image was as cute as it gets.

Jrah

[Ace]

I don't know what I'd do with a wagon, or kids.  I've been riding on a sin wagon, but what else is new.

I'd like to take it over to Illinois and hijack Bubba and drive him out to a nice lake in Michigan and pick up Pat and discuss the finer points of Midwestern Living and ..

He's cute. Cute cute cute.  

cute little idiot boy jiggling jester. Adorable.  Cute as a laughing mime.  

criminy.  Ace; your other cute jiggling jester idiot boy smart___ maroon.

[Joanie]

Since you wouldn't know what to do with Carols wagon or her kids how about we let her keep all of it. If you kept it just think of all the traveling you would have to do taking the kids to school and then their activities AND you would have to get up at least by 4 AM to get it all done. No, no, you don't want Carols job. Hijacking Bubba would be much easier. Bubba is becomming quite a Jester himself and Neon he is a funny one. Could be we will wind up with as many Jesters as there are Modulators.

What is a sin wagon? Duh!, never heard of that description before. Don't tell me I will use my limited imagination.

Carol will be pleased to know you think the Jester is cute, although I don't think a Valium would do him any harm and it might help slow him down a little,  That guy sure can jiggle but that is what makes him so cute and so obviously a Jester. Idiot.

JRah

[Neon]

perhaps it's time for a poll. Is the jester:
A) overcome with multiple anchovy delirium
B) in extreme pain after trying to "trip" Carol's wagon, which was loaded with frozen pizzas, with his big toe
4) unbelievably excited at finally discovering the mystical Valley of the Giant Slices

[Ace]

2. Stunned by remaining in Indiana (sounds like I'm stuttering..) without having ever been to Texas.

C. Justin Idiot.

2B. Or not.

Ace; wouldn't be in delirium from anchovies.  
Would be in death.

[Joanie]

I'll vote for "B" the extreme pain one after tripping Carols wagon. Carol is probably drag-in her wagon after all the trips to college etc.. I sure hope the College Computer was not in the wagon at the time,  if and when the Jester Idiot did that.

What the heck is that thing hopping and jumping on the pizza?  Anchovie paste it is not.

JRah

[Neon]

JRah, it is Carol's very same jester giffy, rollicking and thrashing atop a giant pizza pie. Either that or a live anchovy.

[Joanie]

Hey Neon,

It looks more like a Jester Idiot Anchovie now that you mention it. The Anchovy part of it being the size and the rest of it the Jester Idiot.

He is late getting here this morning,  bet  he is frolicing on the golf course.


JRah

[pat]

The main difference between Sausage and Italian Sausage is the addition of Fennel Seed to Italian. Recipes  vary, but that is one.
I have been going to a local place called Capozio?s for pie. Very good, real Italian Sausage, thin crispy crust, all the Anchovies you could ask for. Mmmmm???

Here is a recipe for Italian Sausage from The Gutsy Gourmet, be warned this guys page takes a while to load, but there is music. This place is loaded with all kinds of recipes .

[Ace]

How many anchovies would I ask for... what's less than "none."  

I've got Copy Kat (no, not Scuzzy) recipes bookmarked too, just to scope out famous ones and what's supposedly in them.  Any oregano in the Italian Snausage there?  I like basil, too.  

Hope it's not Kielbasa.  That'd just be weird.  

Ace; i before e

[pat]

Yes, but do they have music?

Lets see now ?What is less than zero?? Why that would be Robert Downey Jr.
Or jesters lying on their backs after eating to many Anchovies.

[Ace]

"too" many. Excuse you.

I guess I could hum whilst being poisoned by slimy fishes.  If that's music to melt the stars...

Ace; stinking smelly yellow-screen fish smell.  Yuck.

[Neon]

Last Tuesday, I enjoyed the remainder of a delicious leftover pizza. It was thin crust with pepperoni, ham, onion, and mushroom. As the complex palette of flavors blended to form the savory aromatic taste with just the right crispiness/chewiness ratio that we think of as the pizza milieu, a thought occurred to me: Dang, this is pretty tasty! Then another thought: Hey, I am eating pizza again, and forgot to update the pizza poast. Now I have lost count of number of pizzas consumed.

From there, I thought about the intersection of pizza and computers. An absurd juxtaposition at first, but witness this poast. More importantly, consider the ease with which one can order pizza online.  www.papajohns.com has nice online "eDeals", and a very convenient topping selector. Using dropdown menus and some JavaScript, you can build a pizza, selecting crust and topping types. You can put toppings on the whole pie, or either half.

A few weeks ago, I decided to put this contraption to a test. I ordered a large 5 topping pizza with thin crust, and put 2 toppings on the whole pie, 2 toppings on the first half, and 1 topping on the second half. Then I pressed the order button, and hoped the electrons would convey my instructions accurately, and that the guys at the store could figure out how to build this complex pie. Heck, its almost like making a semiconductor chip. Did they get it right? Well, mostly. Everything came out ok, except it was regular crust. And it was still tasty.  All in all, not bad. Yet another useful application of computers. :)

[Ace]

Geez Criminy, Ne.  Let this dang poast die, willya!(@$*  Whattya think it is, immortal or something?

I do enjoy hitting the @(#$$ or the ~)(!#*$, too.  Cool.

We're about ready to resort to Papa John's; we gave up on East of Chicago (well, I guess which is where I is) when they left us hanging for an hour and a half on a delivery with only a response of "yes, it's out there.  Sure, it's on the way...".  We canceled, and yet no one appeared. Hmmm.

Also Marco's, which is here and similar to P. Johns.  We're betwixt two delivery stations, and neither will claim us in their jurisdiction.  So, if we don't exist to them then neither they to us.

After TD Thursday, I'm thinking a pizza will probably sound refreshing about Friday or Saturday.  

I don't know if I could handle web ordering, though.  Not knowing Java I'd probably come out with a Big and Tasty.

Ace; I tell ya, if I can't kill this thing it is eternal.