Author Topic: You know your computer sucks when...  (Read 3596 times)

Offline trav

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You know your computer sucks when...
« on: Nov 12, 2003, 04:43 PM »
1. It has Windows ME
2. You have to format everyday you use your computer
3. you dont have a mouse or keyboardios
4. You have more memory than your harddrive has space
5. You use DOS as an operating system
6. You have a snake in your PC
7. you dont have the internet :o
8. Your DVD drive doesnt work at all (like over here, wil leave that for another poast) ::)
9. I  think thats it....
10. Yeah, thats it..unless anyone else thinks of anything :)
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Offline Neon

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #1 on: Nov 12, 2003, 08:13 PM »
11. All of the fans draw air into the center of the case, creating a lint ball with the density of a white dwarf.

I am not sure whether it would be worse to have badgers in the computer or a snake. Hmmmm. ...

Snake. Definately snake would be worse. AHHH! SNAAAAAKE!!
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Offline Ace

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #2 on: Nov 13, 2003, 04:05 AM »
Well, I'm sure all would agree it would really su*k if you had a jester on it, and not in it.  I mean, everyone is filled with joy and wonder to find a Jester pop up in the poasts they pop into when wandering the web.  

But could you imagine finding a jester keyboarding on your PC when you walk into the room?  Especially sitting there in sweat pants and tee shirt, in the early morning hours, with a mug of coffee...  Like, right about now.  Head uncombed.  Unwashed, as yet.  Kboarding away, wrists resting on his gel padded wristrest.  About to head to the restroom.  

Just think if you wanted to do something on the computer, and he wouldn't get his fat **youknow out of the way.  Just kept flipping back and forth from Poasters, to Amazon, to WNDU-TV to Harmony Central to Madden Football to RTCW to who knows what next.  I don't; it's pretty much completely random, to me

I'd imagine that would just about take the cake.  Oh, I'm sure he would, if you had any.  He didn't get to be the density of a white dwarf just like that.

Worse than not having the internet would be having no computer at all.  And, let me tell you, you get some sweatpanted curlytoedshoed bell-festooned teeshirted slippered Indian jester parking his pants at your PC, you ain't getting on, Jack.   It'd be like living a nightmare.

Ok. The snake would be goshawful, if we're actually looking at scary stuff IN the computer.  But on it, I'd rather try to get rid of the stinking snake than a Jester.  

Oh; just thought of something worse than a snake, or actually, anything.  Worse than even a half awake big doofus Jester.

A panda.  Geez Louise, there's nothing worse than a panda, anywhere near anything.

Ace; I wonder if a badger could kill a panda.  I'd hope so.
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Offline Mark H

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #3 on: Nov 13, 2003, 10:19 AM »
12. When your processor is no longer manufactured by Intel or AMD.

13. When your main drive is a 5.25 inch floppy drive.

14. When the motherboard is mounted on the front of your vehicle. I actually have a friend who has an old 486 motherboard mounted to the front of his Dodge Ram.

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Offline Red Squirrel

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #4 on: Nov 16, 2003, 05:51 PM »
15: It is bigger in square metres then in Mhz
16: It has windows ME (this one is worthy to go twice)
17: It takes over 20 minutes to reboot (ex: my host's server)
18: It's a compaq
19: It's a packard Hell

;D

Offline Mark H

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #5 on: Nov 17, 2003, 07:39 PM »
20. When you can't give it away.

Mark H
Enjoy the nature that is around you rather than destroying it.

Offline trav

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #6 on: Nov 18, 2003, 12:34 PM »
20a: when you put it in the bargain finder and the bargain finder goes out of business but your computer is still there ;D
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Offline Nestor

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #7 on: Jan 21, 2004, 09:43 AM »
(Insert Mumber Here)
When you start the computer it requires a big tin key in the back...
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Offline Igloo

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #8 on: Feb 25, 2004, 08:44 AM »
21 when your best mate wonders why your moving into a mansion, and you tell him becus the computer needs more space!

(pretty bad one)
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Offline Whizbang

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #9 on: Feb 26, 2004, 07:10 PM »
your cat thinks it is his cat box.  :P

Offline Mark H

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #10 on: Feb 26, 2004, 07:14 PM »
your cat thinks it is his cat box.  :P

I better watch my cats closely. When they start eyeing the computer for uses other than trying to get to the wires, I will get the message and replace the PC.

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Offline Wade777

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #11 on: Feb 26, 2004, 07:50 PM »
you have to wiggle around cables to get your hdd's spinning
*points at self*
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Offline trav

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #12 on: Feb 26, 2004, 11:09 PM »
:o really?
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Offline Igloo

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #13 on: Feb 28, 2004, 11:44 AM »
yeah well, i just took out my IBM 40gb after trying to do that, and cutting through a cable, and shocking myself :(

they pack a punch :\'(
« Last Edit: Feb 28, 2004, 05:05 PM by pat »
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Offline trav

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #14 on: Feb 28, 2004, 11:52 AM »
:o ouch!
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Offline Igloo

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #15 on: Feb 28, 2004, 12:11 PM »
yeah, lukily the door broke my leap, even though it is about 8ft away form weere i was working on comp, it was actually very very very very painful :\'(' but the pain has nearly gone now
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Offline Wade777

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #16 on: Feb 28, 2004, 12:45 PM »
Yeah.. ummmm.... unplug it before ya do that ;) I guess you already learned?

And yes, I do have to wiggle it around every once and a while ... If you could only see what I've done to my computer.. you would laugh so hard.  The power supply isnt ATX, so I had to ghetto-rig it into fitting into my new case... lets just say I have a block of wood in my case and keep it at that.
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Offline trav

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #17 on: Feb 28, 2004, 12:59 PM »


And yes, I do have to wiggle it around every once and a while ... If you could only see what I've done to my computer.. you would laugh so hard.  The power supply isnt ATX, so I had to ghetto-rig it into fitting into my new case... lets just say I have a block of wood in my case and keep it at that.

:o
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Offline Wade777

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #18 on: Feb 28, 2004, 01:01 PM »
ehh it works..
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Offline Igloo

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #19 on: Feb 28, 2004, 01:13 PM »
so thats what that sticker on my PSU means, " reove plug before attempting anything inside" but i wasnt "ATTEMPTING" i was definatly doing it right :P . nvm though, nothing too major, just gave me a bit of a shock and threw me 8ft (thats little to me) ???
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Dual Layer DVD Burner.

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1x 40gb 1x 60gb IDE drives.
DVD - Rom.
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Offline Nestor

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #20 on: Mar 04, 2004, 01:33 PM »
(Insert another number here)
When you push the button on your computer, the mise start running in their wheels...

(Hope you get that)

Let's try again: When you crack open yuor case, it is somhow powered by mice running in wheels.
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Offline trav

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #21 on: Mar 04, 2004, 07:30 PM »
;D ;D ;D ;D
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Offline Chandler

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #22 on: Mar 05, 2004, 01:56 PM »
20. When you can't give it away.

Mark H

20aii) When you can give it away but it comes back 5 minutes later with more stuff inside it

22) When someone steals your desk and chair but leaves your computer

23) When your deaf aunt comes around and asks if you're living under a flight path

24) You no longer need central heating in your house
« Last Edit: Mar 05, 2004, 01:59 PM by Chandler »

Offline trav

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #23 on: Mar 05, 2004, 03:32 PM »
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Offline Chandler

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #24 on: Mar 06, 2004, 07:13 AM »
25) You still have to type WIN to start the GUI

26) You don't have enough hard drive space to install DOS

27) You try to install MS Office but it tells you "This application can only run under Microsoft Windows"
« Last Edit: Mar 06, 2004, 07:19 AM by Chandler »

Offline trav

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #25 on: Mar 06, 2004, 02:13 PM »
;d ;d   However, 27 would apply to *nix wouldnt it?
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Offline Chandler

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #26 on: Mar 07, 2004, 12:55 PM »
OK then...

27a) You try to install MS Office but it tells you "This application can only run under Microsoft Windows" and you have never used Linux in your life :P

28) Your processor is slower than your mates RAM

29) Teletext can produce better graphics than your PC (or for US poasters, Closed Captioning has better fonts than your PC)

Offline Wade777

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #27 on: Mar 07, 2004, 02:10 PM »
;d ;d   However, 27 would apply to *nix wouldnt it?
umm.. yeah, it would. Its called WINE/WINEX :p
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Offline Chandler

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #28 on: Mar 07, 2004, 02:18 PM »
30) Your mate wants to play your latest game after you, but you tell him you've got to rewind the tape first

31) Your parents ask you to turn the sound down - you can't because it comes from the internal beeper

or

31a) You can't play your games late at night because the beeper is too loud
« Last Edit: Mar 07, 2004, 02:18 PM by Chandler »

Offline Whizbang

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Re:You know your computer sucks when...
« Reply #29 on: Mar 07, 2004, 07:11 PM »
You can do your math homework faster on your Grandad's sliderule than on your onscreen calculator.