Author Topic: HECK'S KITCHEN  (Read 1109 times)

Offline Ace

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HECK'S KITCHEN
« on: Jun 06, 2007, 04:41 AM »
"You've ruined the risotto!  You donkey!  Get out of my kitchen!  Shut it down!  Shut up!  Bleep bleep!"
screamed:
A. Shrek
B. Chef Gordon Ramsey
C. Pat
D. Scuzzy, mistaking his jester for a donkey.

You know, I am so glad Heck's (family forum... sigh) is back.  I like cooking shows, and I like survival shows where people are miserable and backstab and cry and become hospitalized so I really think Gordon and the Gang is a good time.  Plus, he's more down to earth than Donald Trump and his hair isn't as scary.  This year has a fat guy who's already near death and women who aren't even subtle about undermining each other and a couple guys who think they're going to stand up to Chef Ramsey (Ramses) yeah right.  I only worked in restaurant for 3 days, when I was in 8th grade, and that was enough for me.  I like cooking, but I sure don't like pressure cooking or multitasking that much.  So watching the panic as quail eggs don't fry right or they run out of chicken is pretty cool.  As long as I'm nowhere near.

I would say you'd have to be nuts to actually go there to eat, though.  Especially early in the show... I mean, they close the kitchen about every single night and send folks home hungry after waiting a couple hours for nothing.  Might as well just call it "He_l's Bar."  This Monday's first show almost had him close it down BEFORE anyone cooked anything...

If they had a survival show that involved cooking your opponents, that would be something.  "Biggest Loser Kitchen Cannibals"... 

Ace; "Gee, I miss Bobby too, but I sure am full now."
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Offline pat

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Re: HECK'S KITCHEN
« Reply #1 on: Jun 10, 2007, 12:28 PM »
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Offline Ace

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Re: HECK'S KITCHEN
« Reply #2 on: Jun 11, 2007, 05:35 AM »
I'd think squirrel tales taste like umbrellas.

"Fear Factor"...  I got tired of the grossout section.  It just got stupidly sick.  "Here are hissing cockroaches and earthworms in risotto with a doggy doo doo sauce."  You know, they could probably make people eat western ground beef from April, as a challenge. 

They could have John Daly's wife chase him around Heck's Kitchen with a steak knife.  Not like he's a tough target to hit.

Ace; I had McDonald's for breakfast, and I'm watching the Today Show, if that counts as a meal and movie.

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Offline pat

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Re: HECK'S KITCHEN
« Reply #3 on: Jun 11, 2007, 03:46 PM »
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Offline Ace

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Re: HECK'S KITCHEN
« Reply #4 on: Jun 12, 2007, 06:35 PM »
I can't stay up that late.

So, Daly's wife says he got drunk and assaulted her, then scratched himself to make it look like she tried to get him.  Like I believe that.


Well, ok.  Yes.  I do believe that.  Big fat drunken slob.  I mean, shoot, I really liked the guy when he came up and won two majors after learning the game on a driving range in Arkansas.  But geez louise, he's just gotten fatter and drunker and smoker and more of a big loose cannon since.  Call him "Big Bertha" I guess.

So last night's Kitchen was kinda a big tease.. show someone collapsing and catastrophe enveloping the kitchen... but not last night's show.  Maybe next week. 

Oh, and the risotto got ruined.  Little Eddie over peppered it, and now he's gone.  Let that be a lesson to you.

Ace; once you figure out what risotto is don't get all crazy with pepper, ok?

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Offline scuzzy

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Re: HECK'S KITCHEN
« Reply #5 on: Jun 13, 2007, 04:14 PM »
I don't understand what the heck this poast is about. I've read it several times to no avail. The best that I can figure is this is a food poast about food. Not that I ever considered eating an umbrella.

I recently discovered Tabasco Sweet and Spicy. I've tried it on just about everything, including popcorn. It is very sweet. And spicy. Just like the name implies. It's also very addicting, thanks to all gobs of corn syrup. It sort of reminds me of a red Karo syrup with Tabasco mixed in. Hot stuff.

I once worked in a restaurant for 3 days. Back in the summer of '74. I hated every minute of it. It still gets my blood pressure up when I think about it.

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Offline Ace

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Re: HECK'S KITCHEN
« Reply #6 on: Jun 14, 2007, 07:52 AM »
Well, if you don't have a veil I don't know what your problem is in seeing.  It looks ok to me.

I like pepper sauces but usually something more involved than Tabasco.  Hot and spicy sounds like a good combination, but I don't want to mess with the natural state of popcorn..  I'm using Dirty Fingers barbecue sauces and like those pretty well.  We had the sweet NC sauce and the TN whiskey one.

Ace; Scuzzy probably wore the veil at the wedding, so his bride wouldn't get scared.
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