Author Topic: CRIKEY; NATURE CALLS: DON'T ANSWER  (Read 1535 times)

Offline Ace

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CRIKEY; NATURE CALLS: DON'T ANSWER
« on: Aug 17, 2006, 04:41 AM »
they're only hit and run...  Elvis Costello

Things I was thinking while pondering what's next with a DOA Monarch Butterfly:

* JonBenet's killer says her death was "an accident."  Hope he meets with one, soon.

* I still say her folks did it.  (it takes me awhile for information to set in...)

* Studies have apparently shown that "exercise reduces abdominal fat cells."  So; excersice can reduce fat.  Huh.  I guess that could be something to try...  Who ever would have thought.

* Scientists have just announced that water aids in hydration.

* I tend to dream of winter, with snow, when the air conditioner runs at night.  That stinks, because I hate winter.

* Any way, the flat screen and speakers and surge protector work wonderfully.  Maybe I can make a stereo TV out of them.

* "Butterfly morphs into black dead caterpillar."  Wonderful; what a twist.

* Maybe I'll wait to buy "Snakes on a Plane" packaged with "Arachnaphobia" and watch them back to back, and just die then.

* Guess that's another reason to not bother flying any time soon.

* What the mideast needs is a model democracy to spring up to show folks how it's done, like... uh, Lebanon.

* With all the ink, Tommy Lee looks like he's wearing a shirt even when he isn't.

* With the divorce, I guess Dave Navarro is really going to start hitting on Brooke Burke.

* Maybe he'll add an "O" to the tattoed "CE" on his stomach and go into business.

* Personally, I would have a hard time going out with a woman who was intimate with Dennis Rodman.

* And I actually like Dennis Rodman...  

* My wife says I'm going to have a problem going out with any women.

* I wonder if I could hang out with Dennis Rodman.  It'd probably be fun.

* Murphy's getting his motorcycle out this morning.  He has his helmet stuck on the back seat support.  That's a good place for it; you'd hate to have it get hit in an accident.

* His head is probably thick enough to take it, anyway.  He waters his grass, then has to mow it more.  You'd think he'd see the connection.

* Hope the pansies make it through the drought.  I don't care if fire ants dry up, personally.

* We've had really nice weather for the most part in Michiana.  The only thunder we hear is when Notre Dame practices...  From "Charlie (the) Tuna".

* I tell ya, if they want to discourage people from doing a gastric bypass just show them a photo of Charlie Weiss.  Talk about a before, and before, picture.

Ok. I gotta go kick this thing in its piano black stupid case.

Ace; you know who else it'd be fun to go drinking with?  Mel Gibson and Robin Williams.  Oh, and Dennis Rodman.
« Last Edit: Sep 04, 2006, 08:42 AM by Ace »
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Offline Bill

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Re:Accidents Will Happen
« Reply #1 on: Aug 17, 2006, 10:31 AM »
What the mideast really needs is for all the locals to play a game of ICBM chess.  And then, start over.

Someone should bring Rodman back, if only to liven boring games.
Watching him take off his sneakers and get comfortable during a game was very funny (I can't spell 'hilarious'.)
But then, there is T.O.  Bill, no not me, should get a kick out of him.


Water mixed with scotch works better.

Listen, the only problem you will have going out with women will be another one, your wife.'

Bill;back to work.

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Offline Ace

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Re:Accidents Will Happen
« Reply #2 on: Aug 19, 2006, 04:06 PM »
I was impressed you spelled ICBM right.  I don't know if they need to go intercontinental, though.  They're pretty tightly packed.  I guess they could fire a couple toward N. Korea just to b mean.

I think I oughta get an award or something for coming up with "Charlie Tuna" for Weiss, since Bill is The Tuna.  Neither one is Light Tuna, that's for sure.  Last year my idea was for ND to do a T-shirt that said "Weiss Guys."  

Well, anyway, that was a nice break from having my head up my Monarch.  I've spent the day loading things and downloading things and trying to get the old one to give up the email messages so I could export/import them, but I finally gave up on that and just sent the ones I wanted to save back to me.  It's nice to get mail, but having 22 arrive usually just means spam.  I have lost the connection to most of the previous spam, so at least there weren't a couple bags of garbage sitting outside my mailbox.

Ace; I never mix water in scotch.  Nor ice.
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Offline Bill

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Re:Accidents Will Happen
« Reply #3 on: Aug 20, 2006, 12:37 PM »
That's neat.

Bill
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Offline Ace

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LURID GRISLY HOAX
« Reply #4 on: Aug 27, 2006, 05:48 PM »
Updates are available.

* The cease fire in Lebanon is in jeopardy tonight, as Hezbollah insurgents fired Dell laptops into Israel and Israeli forces retaliated by sending Apple G4 Sony batteries into Lebanon in a fire fight.

$ John Karr's family has stated he could not have killed Jon Benet, since he was with family that Christmas holiday, although they don't know just where.

THIS JUST IN I MEAN JUST: Ok; the DNA doesn't match. So the whole notion of a deviant child killer who got away with the crime and then went a decade or so with no one on his trail but leaving little hints and email insights and finally just calling the cops and saying "Oh. I did it; I'm over here, please come and get me" who presents some bizarre fascination with the event even though evidence starts appearing he was no where near it when it happened is found Not Hardly Guilty since his damaged DNA doesn't match that from the crime scene..?! I guess somebody's 15 minutes are up.

) Preseason does not matter. The Bears will score when they feel like it.

* Madden matters; at least MY Bears have an offense.

_ Tiger One; everyone else less than zero.

@ Everything is pretty darn quiet after Bardolino, too.

)( huh. An hourglass figure.

! The "z" in Grizgio is a "j".  But the t in Pinot is silent.

# Unless they're White Castle Sliders, in which case they are Burgers Greazio

6 if Marion Jones raced Justin Gatlin they'd both lose.

9 and so would we.

3 To Johnny: "if a 6, turned out to be 9... I don't mind"  James Marshall Hendrix

0 I spent most of the day burning DVDs.. well, trying to.  Are they all copyright protected?  It would seem.

2 Should have just waited until the grill was ready.

- Go Go White Sox

Ace; go into the postseason out of the playoffs... Only wild card around here is me.



« Last Edit: Aug 29, 2006, 04:12 AM by Ace »
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Offline Bill

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Re:LURID GRISLY HOAX
« Reply #5 on: Aug 29, 2006, 09:53 AM »
Is it just me or are your musings more abstract than usual?

Go White Sox??  What does that have to do with preseason football.  

Madden matters??  Hey, 'course he matters.  Best dang color announcer in the business -no that's not racist- IMO.

Bill
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Offline Ace

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Re:LURID GRISLY HOAX
« Reply #6 on: Aug 29, 2006, 02:55 PM »
Pot? This is Kettle; you're black.

Geez Picasso Louise: "more abstract than usual.."  Yes, it is just you.  

How abstract are they typically?  Pretty darn abstract? Somewhat?  A Little? Way?  How in the world would I know; I'm on the other side of them.

Look: I'm a Sox fan.  And a Bears fan.  And I play Madden 06 (waited to get it for the new pc, at $9.95. Gave the 05 away with the old computer).  I'm near Chicago.  Go figure.  The only thing Abstract around here is the shape of Michigan, and you'd have to ask Pat how that came about.

If Indiana had a thumb it'd probably be stuck in Michiana.  

Yes, Madden is ok.  I'd prefer buses to planes too.  At least if they choose a short road they don't crash into trees and burn.  Well, if they make the turn.  Although I do think at some point Madden is just going to start babbling sound effects and onamatopeia (no, I am not gonna look that up) and just go "Blooey!  Wham!  BiffZipBlam!  ZingCrashBop!" and Al Michaels is gonna have to carry on alone as they carry him off...

Ace; maybe I'll be more impressionistic or cubist next time.  
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Offline Bill

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Re:LURID GRISLY HOAX
« Reply #7 on: Aug 29, 2006, 03:29 PM »
How about instead of "impressionistic or cubist" we try for lucid and obvious, or plain and simple -wait we are already that, simple - or revealing and elucidating?


)( - huh?

Bill; lost in space.
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Offline Ace

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Re:LURID GRISLY HOAX
« Reply #8 on: Aug 29, 2006, 05:58 PM »
Oh, what fun is there in that.  

You know, if it was
LURID GRIZZLY HOAX
that could be a whole 'nother take.

I'll call you "Billy Mumy"
Criminy, I hated that kid.  I wish the robot would've taken his head off.

See, the whole thing is Chaos Theory, like in Jurassic Park.  Where we grow dinosaurs, and compress them, and get oil.  It's the answer to the energy crisis.

For Pat and Neon:
Your blood to oil,
Your flesh to coal,
Enrich the soil,
Not everybodys goal.


Ace; I miss Earl Sinclair, too.
« Last Edit: Aug 29, 2006, 05:59 PM by Ace »
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Offline Ace

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Re:CRIKEY; NATURE CALLS: DON'T ANSWER
« Reply #9 on: Sep 04, 2006, 08:50 AM »
I tell ya, I hear Steve Irwin was killed by a Stingray and I thought, "Heck, I think those old Corvettes are cool too but they probably aren't safe."  I guess he shoulda stayed around crocodiles, where it was safe.

He's probably the only guy I can think of who wouldn't have been bothered flying with snakes on a plane.  He did meet up with a lot of fearsome things, and walked away.  It's too bad he couldn't have swum farther from this one.  

Of course, I'd run screaming from a puddle of uric acid right now, so not like I foresee myself facing down some horrible beast.  Although there are a couple squirrels out back that could crush a foot, if they were to sit on it.  I gotta figure it's the peanuts...  Elephants eat them, and look how big they get.

I was just thinking it'd be kinda funny if Scuzzy got gout; with the swelling, his foot might reach a normal size.  heh.

Ace; unlike the stupid balloon clown foot I'm looking at.

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Offline Ace

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Re:CRIKEY; NATURE CALLS: DON'T ANSWER
« Reply #10 on: Sep 05, 2006, 04:33 AM »
He's really most sincerely dead, as they say in Oz.

The crocodiles called in to say "Ha!" I guess they have it on tape, but naturally aren't showing it as yet.  To me, there's two levels of bad luck with risk taking; you could die skydiving, as happened to that one newbie this year who slipped out of the chute.  Or worse yet, you could die in a crash of the plane while it's taking off, which happened to a group of rookie skydivers this year.  I don't know which level of bad Steve ran into.

No, not that Steve, or the other one.  Irwin.  It's funny, I once taught a kid named Steve Erwin, so that name always struck me as funny.

When Irwin caught all that flak for doing the Michael Jackson bit dangling his kid in front of a crocodile a couple years ago, he said he wished he had gone surfing instead.  This week he probably wishes he had stayed out of the surf and played basketball or something.  Or dangled something in front of a croc instead of a stingray.

Ace; crikey, crokey, crud.
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