Author Topic: Make The English Language Dance  (Read 22338 times)

Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #60 on: Jul 07, 2005, 06:14 AM »
Maybe it should be "Only a sneaky little Trace"?  
 
Or  "Can predators play nice"?  Well, yeah, if you're bigger than they are.

Bill:

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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #61 on: Jul 07, 2005, 02:54 PM »
editor's note:  Bill would like to apologize for hijacking what began as an ode to the wonders and mystery of the English language. or at least cheesy puns, and interjecting his personal opinions on Disney World and popular TV programming.  

He'd like to, but right now he's too busy with the dog dragging him around his yellow-skyed yard to be able to attend to it.  I'm sure, first chance he gets, he'll be able to make it up to the original authors, Jims Lins.  

Ace should also apologize profusely for aiding and abetting in this same incident, but as with the accident with the students, none was hurt and he's not the type to take willingly to responsibility anyway.  Plus, if he ever started apologizing for his transgressions here there'd be no stop to it, so we're better off with him just running out of breath or keystrokes for a time and those occasional moments of silence, and peace.

That those bothersome allusions to dead artists stopped was a good thing, however, especially as they never got to a pun about "Picasso" which would have resulted in the banishment of the author, if it had, due to the context.


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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #62 on: Jul 07, 2005, 08:25 PM »
Good thing it didn't start out as hy cus.  I would have really messed it up.  BTW, the dog is still running, I got tired.

Bill; leave it to Ace, that's a good solution.
« Last Edit: Jul 07, 2005, 08:31 PM by Bill »
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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #63 on: Jul 08, 2005, 05:44 AM »
ed. note: Okay, second chance he gets Bill will be more than happy to go look for his dog and also apologize profusely if not accurately for his letting it go.

The dog, if not his track here.  

I'm not really sure what "more than happy" feels like... it's a common expression.  Happier?  Happiest?  More happier?  Very happier/est?  Giddy?  Up?  I guess.

Since we've reached a dearth of blond(e) jokes as well as lyrical puns, today's show will feature "Chatroom Predators" and some disparaging remarks about pandas.  At some point.

The jester will be played by "Ace."

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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #64 on: Jul 08, 2005, 05:51 AM »
One doesn't really have to look very hard to find Fido.  All that is necessary is to follow the trail of torn up flower beds, shredded newspapers in the driveways,screamiong neighbors, and, of course, the blood.

You bet, second chance I get,  I'll write   wait  no, I won't even attempt celebrity puns.  

Bill
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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #65 on: Jul 08, 2005, 05:58 AM »
When did you sneak in?  How the heck early is it out there..?  

First I thought you really mispelled "blond" but then realized you meant "blood."  I thought it weird your neighbors would scream at a blonde...

Unless she was painting your car, instead of your porch.  Then I'd probably scream at her, too.  

I think celebreties deserve every slight and insult they can get, so fine by me to let loose at any.  Pun or dirty limerick or just taunt... whatever you've got.

Ace; I just noticed "screamiong"... I guess that's Vietnamese for "screaming."
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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #66 on: Jul 08, 2005, 06:03 AM »
Not bad really. I only scored a 50 on the
TOEFL.  And worse on the TOENL.  

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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #67 on: Jul 08, 2005, 09:35 AM »
It must be Friday, if it's "let's trick the Jester into looking up Acronyms day."  Ok, I did.  Maybe there's one for "third language" instead of second.  That could make it easier.

You know, for most English users, it might as well be their 2nd language.  Like your 2nd car, where you could sorta dismiss it; "Oh, I know it's lousy, but it's my 2nd language." or "Oh, I know it isn't good, but it's my wife's language."  That sorta thing.

I should take it; I bet I could get half of them right.

Ace; I hope spellling doesn't count.
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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #68 on: Jul 08, 2005, 01:17 PM »
Yeah, that's what Meatloaf said.  Or was it 6 out of 8?

Oh, and BTW, a couple of poasts back, you misspelled "star".

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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #69 on: Jul 08, 2005, 01:49 PM »
Geez, a few years back I think I mispelled "Ace."  I usually get the 4 letter words right.

I miss Mr. Loaf.  He was alright.  Although it's hard to watch baseball after hearing "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" a few hundred times.  Of course, I think it's hard to watch baseball anyway, since it's so mind numbingly boring. At least on TV; I don't mind it live since I can look around and watch whatever I want.  Plus, there's beer.

There's beer at home, too, but I usually grab one and go do something else...

Ace; otherwise, I'm not a meatloaf fan.
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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #70 on: Jul 08, 2005, 01:58 PM »
Good ole Phil was interviewed about that song a couple of years ago.  You would have enjoyed hearing what he had to say about Mr. Loaf.   He was conned into doing the recorded narrative without knowing the rest of the lyrics of the song.  Even his local priest was publicly critical....

Such fun.

Bill; wish I was that creative.
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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #71 on: Jul 08, 2005, 03:18 PM »
"Phil"?  Collins?  Donahue?  Harmonic?  Listine?  Who the heck is Phil?  

Shoot; if you're gonna make me look up something that dang trivial like "voiceover from "Bat Out of Heck" album cut "Paradise..."  I can't even remember the name of the dang lyricist, at the moment...I know it was Jim something.  Man.  Or what's her name, who was the other half of the heavy breathing/singing.

HEY!  What the heck is that priest doing listening to "Bat Outta Hell?"  (sorry, kids; actual title.  Probably bleeped out by now).  Is he trying to gain some dang insight into "the other side"?  Prepare for Armageddon, or at least recognize the other team's songs?  What'd he think "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" was, a spiritual?  Some gospel number about a plastic figurine who comes to life and..?  

Geez Louise.  Some people will go SO out of their way to be offended.  

Ace; I know I don't.
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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #72 on: Jul 08, 2005, 03:24 PM »
Well think about the Baseball bit in the song and do you recall who the annoucer was for the Yankees, the venerable shortstop?  That Phil.  Don't know why I remember that, I feel the same about baseball as you do.  Sort of a game of catch between the guy on the hill and the squatty guy behind this funny shaped piece of rubber nailed to the ground.

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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #73 on: Jul 08, 2005, 03:30 PM »
Rizzuto?  Look, I'm not looking it up, and didn't.  That was an honest guess.  I'm tapping the memory banks for this...  that name popped up.

Ace; I hope I get this one.  It's been awhile since I've known anything, here.
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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #74 on: Jul 08, 2005, 03:51 PM »
You're RIGHT!  Another gold, twitchy star for the Jester.

Song was pretty racy for the time, too bad baseball wasn't/isn't.  

Guess who want to go out in the dang rain?

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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #75 on: Jul 08, 2005, 07:43 PM »
ACE* WINS!! ACE* WINS!! I AM A GENIUS!!

not his real name...

That is great... I tell ya, my powers of recollection are keen.  Youi name me any dang oldtime long forgotten baseball announcer, and I bet I'll tell you who you named.

Tony Kubek... Curt Goudy... Heck, I remember hearing Harry Caray late nights in broadcasts from Philly.  I used to listen to the Cubs, and the Sox, especially the heartache of *69.  The Sox, when Luzinski and the Shorts ruled.  The Dick Allen era.  Klingman, bombing away.  Lee Elia, cussing up a storm...  Bill Melton leading the AL in homers with 33..  what a deadball era.

Our local team won the class A title for the first half.  We also banned $1 beer Mondays, as fights broke out.  Go figure; cheap drunks fighting.

Ace; serve $12 long island iced teas and people will mellow out...
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Offline Buffalo2102

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #76 on: Jul 09, 2005, 11:57 AM »
Serve some decent wine and they'll Merlot out.

Buff; Back. Briefly.
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Offline LinS

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #77 on: Jul 09, 2005, 07:10 PM »
Hey, I've got a funny bone to pick with you guys.
I leave the dance school under your venerable stewardship for a few days, and what happens?????  Talk about tangential! Talk about non-sequential!  Sine me up for dance lessons!

LinS; Criminal, I mean criminy.

Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #78 on: Jul 10, 2005, 09:59 AM »
Well, like Whiz says, what the heck is a vacation, huh?  Look, anyone who's been anyone here under a different name would know not to leave anything under our vulnerable stewardship.  I mean, the root word of stewardship is "stew."  Well, it might be "ship."  Same difference, if you're not going to steer the thing anyway.

I haven't done sequins since I didn't get the dang queen job, so I am going to remain nonsequential.   I'm glad Buff brought back the mention of wine.  I wish he'd bring back wine instead of the mention of it, but I'm just glad for anyone in England who's ok.

If this thing became a spam-like hip hop play on words, I'd say LinS is Rapunsell.

Ace; don't say "criminal" with Scuzzy lurking.
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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #79 on: Jul 10, 2005, 10:08 AM »
LinS
Glad you're back.  Yor're right, of course, it's all JimS fault.

As for the quality of activity since you've been gone, please see above.
Apologies are referenced earlier, not given,  but referenced.  You left the door to the chicken coop open....

Bill


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Offline LinS

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #80 on: Jul 10, 2005, 07:36 PM »
Some daffynitions to get us back on track:

archeologist; someone whose career lies in ruins

egotist: someone me-deep in conversation

gossip: someone with a keen sense of rumor

committee: a group that keeps minutes and wastes hours

income tax: capital punishment

LinS; Victim of a coop d'etat

Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #81 on: Jul 11, 2005, 07:15 AM »
oxymoron: a blond(e) poaster.

Bill
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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #82 on: Jul 12, 2005, 05:44 AM »
Normally, I'd steer clear of a poast if I didn't want it to die, but this one seemed DOA after Bill called another poaster "Oxy" so I figure maybe we can rescusitate it.  Boy, I bet I just butchered "rescuscitate".  I've no clue.

Maybe it was Oxy Oxy Allen Free; I remember him from when I was a kid.  You don't see too many kids named "Ozzy" either, which is good.  They're all Josh and Kaitlin and Katelynn and Caitlin and Amber and Ashley and Paris now.

If I was going to name a kid after a city, I'd go with "Bronx."  That'd be an attention getter.

Ace; ok; now LinS can do some more of those word association things.  I like those.

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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #83 on: Jul 12, 2005, 06:22 AM »
Since you're "raising the bar" in these rooms, I feel required to point out that you misspelled "CPR".

This is getting to be like one of those game shows on the tube.  It's easy to get the answer when you're sitting in camera.  Not so easy when you're on camera.  

 Just ask Alex, eh.

Bill; what is English 101?
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Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #84 on: Jul 12, 2005, 07:25 AM »
I'm not asking Alex anything.  Why the heck would I try to discuss anything with Scuzzy's cat?  

I'd sooner try to take a bowl of scrapple away from Shelby.  Or Fido.

Ace; ENGL101 is the prerequisite for ENGL202
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Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #85 on: Jul 12, 2005, 02:22 PM »
There'd be no discussion with Fido.  He doesn't discuss anthing, particularly if it smells like food, or even looks like food.  He has a passion for pointy hats with bells as well.  

You're certain English 101 isn't an antecedent?

Bill

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Offline LinS

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #86 on: Jul 12, 2005, 03:10 PM »
Antecedent, anteshmedent.  I'm becoming anti-antecedent.

How about some signs of the times?  Is it time for some signs?

On a beauty parlor:  Curl Up and Dye

On an antique store:  Remains To Be Seen

On a music store: Gone Chopin. Bach in a Minuet

On a real estate office:  Get Lots for Little

On a savings bank: No Deposit-No Return

LinS; Signing off.

Offline Ace

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #87 on: Jul 12, 2005, 04:02 PM »
Those are great.  I don't know where you steal I mean make those up from...

Here; let me try some.  I bet I can come up with some clever ones...

Ok; jugglers juggling produce:  We Throw Up Food

Sale at Bait Shop:  Bait Rebate

suspicious sandwich after horse race:  Filly Steak Special

New owner of a Minnesota town :  Great Falls of Buyer

Jersey store belonging to some guy: Disguises

Alright.  I feel I'm losing some momentum, here... this is harder than I thought.

Uh.  Oklahoma coffee shop sign:  Sooner or Latte

Shoot.  c'mon, think...  Company that protects you from Jesters:  Foolproof Security

ahhh....  dangit.  What to dial if you just need a late night snack: 711

stink.  What to take if you see pandas and feel sick: Pandaimmodium.

geez louise.  I'm losin' it...  

Ace; I lost it.


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Offline LinS

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #88 on: Jul 12, 2005, 06:54 PM »
Ace, I loved those. I felt so inspired after I stopped laughing, I came up with these:

Sign on a bakery: Get Your Buns in Here

Sign on a pizzeria: Give Us Your Dough For Some of Ours

Sign on a shepherd school: Don't Be Sheepish; This Way to Ewe U.

Highway sign for pregnant women:  Tolls For Belle Wombs

LinS; What's your sign?


Offline Bill

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Re:Make The English Language Dance
« Reply #89 on: Jul 13, 2005, 06:32 AM »
Sign on Fido's room:  Welcome!
Sign inside Fido's room: Lunch now being served.

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