The Dead Poast

[Bill]

If Mother Nature intended squirrels to eat peanuts, they'd all be in Georgia.  Fat they are and an insult to the natural order of things.

Nice fotos, by the way.

[Ace]

They're quite unnatural.  They're freaks of nature; my hands were shaking while that one towered out there, sticking his tongue out at me.

Ace; big fat-pantsed little men.

[Bill]

You certainly provide enough natural greens for her to eat.  Or are you simply behind schedule with the weed wacker?
Nice blacktop.

[Ace]

I asked my wife if I could keep a Bunny in the yard, but she wouldn't let me.  We do have rabbits, though, but I had something else in mind.

Ace; cute little cottontails.  And those ears.

[Bill]

Keeping a Bunny in the yard would be cruel, heartless and inconsiderate.  Even the garage would be better, and, a little more private.

[Ace]

When I was a kid my brother and I built models.  I guess that's where I got the idea.

I had a salad tonight, which is broaching upon excessive greens.  Most golf courses have excessive rough(age).

Ace; I had one of Carol Alt, and Cheryl Tiegs...  

[Bill]

And you kept them in a cage?

Here is a model that would be appropriate, particularly with 'greens':

[Ace]

Well, no.  They were 1/24 scale.  Although I wish we could've gotten a full-size model...  

Our mom probably wouldn't have let us keep her I mean it, though, then.

Dangit.

My avatar said he's turned on by the Miss Piggy photo.  I slapped him, which makes him jiggle and laugh hysterically.

Ace; first I thought it was a photo of Kirstie Alley...

[Ace]

Ok; look.  I'm with Johnny on this.  I mean, everybody has a right to their belief system, and all.  I guess what bothers me is when people choose not to REVEAL their (entire) belief system.  You can look it up.  I did.  

That truly lousy Travolta movie, with the aliens and all..?  That's pretty much it.  Aliens will be coming, and that's when it all comes together.  Which, again, is fine... if that's what you think.  And, if that's how you feel it's going to go down, then say so....  Plus, open up to the internal conflicts and goings on, too.  If there are Scientologists here, among us, then I hope you take no offense. It's just that I don't hear them talking about the true mysteries of their faith.  Probably anymore than other fairly secretive groups say much about what they're about...  Like our fore-fathers hiding that big treasure thingy.

I would add that I'm saying all this as one who belongs to a faith that is under close inspection, and some degree of scandal.  And deservedly so.  And to not admit that, and face it, is bogus.

Personally, I believe in aliens.  Criminy, there are enough of them here to warrant closer inspection.  Just the Canadians alone are worth our while to study.

I did not know about an Earthlink guy linked to Scientology.  I shall check that out; thanks for the tip.  Keep in mind; the birth of this chatroom was in the Revelation of the Fountain behind Quantex.  If we hadn't pursued the Truth then, then whom knows where it wouldn't have led us.

Ace; oh, and you mispelled "fowl".  Like I said, it's been a rough spelling week.

[Bill]

Ace said fowl...
I must correct an earlier poast in which I called
tryptophan a hormone.  Its actually an amino acid and technically: L-tryptophan.  Just the name is enough to put you to sleep.

You might ask: "Who cares what the heck it is?"
Not me.

[Ace]

Well, I still say if J. Ron Howard really thought that aliens will come back and

Hold it.  That doesn't sound right...  I'm thinking Opey doesn't necessarily believe in... hmm.  

Oh; no, wait.  I'm right.  He's doing the Da Vinci Code movie, which I'd also rate in the category of "Made Up and Totally Bogus Things Presented as Historical Facts Which In Fact Aren't DUH And Even The Real Life Allusions And Historical Locations Do Not Appear As They Are Described In Said Text."  So it probably is him.

Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, Vinnie Barbarino; that is a brain trust unmatched by any other I mean group.  

Ace; I almost said "cult."  Good thing I didn't.  

[Bill]

Well Good morning, and Welcome Back ACE, yet again.

In any cross-sectional group there are bound to be a few who rank as "genius".   Kerry and Bush are stereotypical examples.  

[Ace]

Thank you.  I enjoyed my sabbatical, but it's always nice to get back to work.

Like it's always nice when the scissors slip when you're cutting your toenails and you jab your foot.

And since when is tryptophan a hormone...?!  You know, I wonder if in nature it's ok for two hormones two join together in a bond, recognized under the laws of nature as a legally binding union

Ok; wait a minute...  I'm thinking of something else.  As usual.

Ace; I gotta keep on task today; there's a bunch of live poasts still out there.

[Bill]

I poasted a correction,  somewhere,  So many rooms, so little time....

[Ace]

Oh, I know that.  I just like to see people get defensive.  That helps me in my pursuit of being offensive.  

Unless I wasn't paying attention, and missed it.  Then, the blame is yours.  

Ace; so many rooms, so little mind.

[Nestor]

Good lord man! It's still alive in that not-alive meaning dead but not really sort of way?  :o

Speaking of attractive women ( I love to talk about them ;) ) I've been collecting pics of Miho Yoshioka. Quite the cutie.

[Bill]

Who?

Thats not a bad trick, read a poast, ignore it and question the accuracy of the original poaster.

If this were anyone else, I'd suspect you were looking for another star.  But in your case....
Too many stars already.

[Ace]

Yeah, "Thag."

As far as the senses go, "Talking" would be my least favorite involving attractive women.  

As far as Miho, I can't even pronounce all that let alone know who it is.  Criminy, I thought that was one of those Asian swords you guys are into...

Ace; no poast dead before its time.

[Nestor]

3AM, what am I doing awake? I'll tell you.

Ace, I think it's dead. Pretty sure. Maybe.

...poke it with a stick, willya? I'm not sure I want to.

[Bill]

Ace is probably suffering from the  tryptophan syndrome, or maybe is waiting to make another grand re-entrance.  He seems to cherish the ballyhoo and hoopla surrounding his arrivals and departures.  Trumpets and drum roll, please.

Enter Indiana Ace in the Temple of Tome!

[Bill]

ja,
Good idea, except I'm no the 1 to aske.  I hav trouble wid bof.

[Ace]

Well, ok, we're sorry to hear that, then.

Oh, and you mispelled "beef."

Ace; probably thinks the plural would be "cowz."

[Bill]

No, now wait.  The plural would be "bofes"

I never said anything about bef or cowz.  If you ant to talk about food, I prefer chiken.

[Ace]

Ant about food would make it a picnic.

Or "beafy tee shirt" as Scuzzy would say.  Once.  

You know, this dead poast has now shifted to meat.  I think that's appropriate, since the meat we eat is dead.  You know, another anomaly is that the "ea" in meat is pronounced "ee" and the "ea" in eat is pronounced "ee" but the "ea" in dead is pronounced "eh."  You'd think it would be pronounced like "deed."

Or "the met we et is ded."  Or if you're from the south "The mayt we ayt is dayd."  Or Britain; "The moyt we oyt is doyd."  Heh.

Ace; sometimes I don't need anyone else around to crack myself up.

[Bill]

Which brings us back to the question raised earlier, I think, about discerning between a typo and a misspelling.  Which do you think 'ant' was?

I''d vote fot a server malfunction myself.  Couldn't ahave been atipo.

[Ace]

Ok; I've got this one.

One's mental, and one's physical.  

A typo is mechanical, when your fingers make a mistake.  They take off by themselves and hit the wrong keys, and are to blame. So it's a physical defect you have.  

A mispelling is mental; your fingers are just following instructions from your faulty brain.  You think a word really is spelled that way, and they follow your orders, but you were wrong in the first place.  It's not spelled that way.  Well, "It's" is, but not what you were typing.  Well, keyboarding.  You know.  

For some here, both the brain and hands are at fault.  The poaster is mistaken on the spelling, and the fingers botch it up anyway.  That synergy is something to behold.  If your stars are aligned you might accidentally blunder into the correct spelling, by mistake, if both your brain and fingers seize up simultaneously.  If you're lucky.

You have to be careful, though, since some will do intentional typoes just for the sake of a few laughs.  Well, maybe one.  Like in "your welcome."  I mean, using the possessive instead of the contraction is just wrong, but amusing nonetheless.  Oh; and running words together like nonetheless is another ploy: that can suggest haste and an acceleration of speech, like in:

"WhattheheckdoyoumeanIleftitopen...?"  If you capitalize them it heightens the excitement: "WHATKINDOFDOOFUSDOYOUTHINKiAMHUH?!"  

Shoot. That first one will probably get banned, or me.  Well, I'll just say it was a typo, and that oughta get me off the hook.

I generally only make mistakes intentionally, so any criticism of my brain or fingers is inappropriate.  Keep that in mind, everyone.

If you're not a native speaker of English, meaning American, that too can result in some egregious errors.  Or attempting words you really don't know, like "egregious."  That gets me into trouble a lot.  Or homonyms; they are my bane and downfall.  

Ace; although I don't care if they get married, or not.

[Bill]

Your pontification was elucidating but, as explanations go, it was a stereotypical Kerry-ism.  

How about a simple civil union and avoid the whole marriage question entirely. If 'bane' and 'downfall' were joined, it would be baleful, and depressing.

And, you misspelled 'misspelling', leading us back to the question: fingers or brain/ error or intent/ careless or lazy/ or Ace vs.the Keyboard.

[Ace]

Geez Louise, it was intentional...  criminy, you must have missed that whole section.  I told you, that's what I do.  There are no mistakes on my end.

Well, I still wear a cap a lot, but all the same.

Most civil unions don't seem to be that civil, anyway.  So making it legal doesn't make it right.  Also, I'm leaning toward baneful, or awful.  Actually, they oughta ban bane, since I find using it awkward.

I think a Mono Kerry is enough; there's no need for stereo with him.  And "Ant" wasn't all that funny on Last Comic Standing, so I'd figure him a mistake as well.

Ace; I wonder if anyone ever carjacked a car that was already carjacked.  Or kidnapped a kid from a kidnapper.  That'd be a twist, wouldn't it.  Or carjacked the kidnappers... heh.

[Bill]

I think a Kerry off my TV is perfect. He, at least, is not broadcasting in stereo or mono at the moment.

Bane, as in, "nonsensical attempts at humor are the bane of....."?


I didn't miss any sections, I chose to ignore it, just another way to not admit I didn't understand it. ???

Which end?

[Ace]

It depends.  I've sat on them about as often as I've worn them.  I was thinking more like "wolf bane."  

I would not admit I didn't not understand it, too.  I bet somewhere Kerry and Gore are sitting in a cabin, commiserating, putting on weight and growing beards...  

Well, actually, that sounds like Al Qaeda more than Al Gore.  ::) Huh.  You know, if Hillary was to run, I suppose Bill would be all for her getting the job.  I'd have to think he sorta enjoyed hanging out at the place.  

Ace; I hope that came out right.