What Do You Call Someone Like Me

[Ace]

Ok; hold it a minute.  I have a suggestion.

I've been thinking, and I know that can take awhile.  Seems folks from most states have a state identity that includes the state name.  Makes sense.  But here in Indiana, for some mostly unknown and suspect reason, we're commonly called "Hoosiers."  

We're probably called other things by people in Michigan, and Kentucky and Illinois.  But it's not about you people, is it.  

Pat and I share a region, mostly mythical, called "Michiana."  But to my recollection, there is no term for people from this fantasy land, such as "Michianadiers" or something like that.  

Texas has Texans.  Colorado has Coloradians.  Florida has Floridians.  Michigan has Michiganders.  Illinois has Illinoisians, or lions.  Iowans.  Alaskans.  New Yorkers.  Ohioans.  Californians.  I don't know about Wyoming, but I don't think many people live there, anyway, so who cares.

Nevadans.  New Mexicans.  South Dakotans.  West, East, whatever Virginians.  Maine... I don't know; see "Wyoming." Georgians.  South Carolinians.  

But we're supposed to be "Hoosiers."  Makes no sense.  

So Iwas thinking, how come Indiana doesn't follow the usual naming conventions, and do the obvious?  

And so, going by the formula, I decided people from Indiana Should Be Called

hmm.


huh.  well.

that's interesting.  I didn't think of that.  

shoot.  


Ok.  Okay.  


I guess we're


"Indians"


dang.

That didn't come out the way I planned.  Dangit.  I don't know if we'd be "East" Indians, or native ones.  Couldn't be East.. we're definitely Midwest.  I guess it doesn't matter.  Sorta like playing "Cowboys and Hoosiers", putting it that way.

Well, that's just weird.  I guess it'll have to do, though.  It follows the State Name Calling and "The Name Game" rules.

Ace; Jester. Janitor. Lookout; I'm an Indian.  man

[Neon]

I would call you Late for Supper.
Heh, heh -- more corn on the cob for me!

Oh, and Maine folk are called Mainers. Not that you can ever find one, mind you. They're too busy fishing and eating lobster rolls. Dang downeasterners.

Ace, you might be the corniest Indianan I know. acquaint. how quaint. who's here? No more beef for you, either.

[pat]

Actually some of the locals around here have another, somewhat colorful, name for you folks from Indiana and Illinois. It is FIP; I won?t say what it means. I?ll just leave that to your imagination.
Not me though, I like all you out of staters coming up and spending lots of dough and paying those outrageous prices for that lakefront property. Yep, so?k by me.

There ain?t no such thing as a Michigander, they call those people from Michigan, wolverines. Never could figure out why though.

I actually live in the smaller subsection of Michiana known as Harbor Country, I guess that would make me a Harbor Countryian.

I just think of Indiana people as Aliens.

[Ace]

No, I'm not an alien.  I was born here, dangit. I'm indigenous.  A native.

A Indian, dangit.  From Indiana.  

I guess it's better than a "Hoosier", at least.  The very least.  

I don't know if I like that sound of that FIP protocol.  I'm having a hard time figuring that haiku out, and none of it's sounding very nice.

Ace; better than a wolverine, too.  What a nasty thing to be known as.

[pat]

So I?m thinking indigenous is kind of an odd word. Since I go to Indiana on occasion, does that make me outdigenous? Just what is a digenous anyway?
See what I mean? That?s just weird.

So I was at the Red Lobster yesterday, ordered the Crab Alfredo. They brought it out and it looked so good. There was what looked like a little hair on the side of the plate. I went to take it off and that thing just kept coming. For goodness sake, that thing must have been a yard long. Well, that was enough of that, Yuk. The server was sure awful sorry and they offered me up another entr?e. I went with the deep fried clams figuring any hair or miscellaneous body parts would be indiscernible anyway. Yeah, that was better. Oh and I got my dinner free.
All?s well that ends better.  ;D

[Ace]

Well, don't blame me.  It sure didn't come off my head.  And my moustache isn't that long, either.  It isn't one of those gigantic Scuzzy-ish ones.

I suppose people could carry around a baggie of hair to restaurants, and drop one in their meal to try to get the thing for free.  I suppose DNA testing could confirm the owner, and assess blame.  I saw that on CSI once.

I had the Navaho pasta at Houlihan's... I figured since I'm an Indian I might as well get with the program.  Probably have to start going to casinos, now, too.  Shoot, it's not like I have extra funds to throw away like that.  The lottery is about all I can afford to lose at.

I don't know about being digenous.  I'm disingenuous.  And I don't know what sort of "occasion" would require coming to Indiana, of all places.  Unless you had a Reservation.  Or were just figuring to bilk some local diner out of a meal, figuring you had better not try that at home since they'd recognize you or know where you live or be in a militia.

Ace; I think "entree" means "enter" in French, if I remember right.  I'd sure be showing somebody the door if they came in with terrorist hair, trying to start something. :P

[pat]

So why not just be known as Children of the Corn or child as the case may be or situation warrant.

Good idea about the baggie with the hair, if I only had some.
Hair that is, baggies are easy enough to get.

What Do You Call Someone Like Me

How's about this kid with the lawnmower? Could we call him someone like you?

Well, there is this kid who cuts this old lady's grass every week, and on this particular day it was so hot, she invited him in for a glass of lemonade. He drank her lemonade and he also noticed a jar of plain peanuts on a top shelf. He had some, but that wasn't enough so he ate them all. When the boy left he said to the old woman, "Maam, I sorry for eating all your peanuts." She replied, "That's ok sonny- at my age all I can do is suck the chocolate off."

[Ace]

I told that one to my wife and her reaction was "Eeewwwww."

Good one.  If he woulda found a hair in it, it would have been really "Eeewwww."  

I still have the one corn, on my pinky toe, but not any others, so I'm not sure I qualify.

Ace; what I wouldn't give for a big bag o'hair. ???

[scuzzy]

What do I call someone like Ace? Geez... that's easy.

Dork.

[poast78]

I'm hurt...  :'(  No mention of us "Seattleites", or even general Washingtonians.  In accordance with Prophecy-sy-si-sea-see.

[Ace]

Jeez Criminy, Scuzzy, you even mispelled "Pork."

Unless you were trying to write "Duck" and if so you're way off the mark.

I shall now accede to P78's wishes and mention General Washingtons.  I know of the one, but I'm sure there were more.  He crossed the Potomac to go get his silver dollar that he threw over it, since those things would have been worth a lot, back then.  Well, at least a dollar, but even at that rate it was worthwhile.

I shall not mention Scuzzy. Not with his altitude, being all high and mighty and all.  The problem with "Coloradinians" or "Coloradans" or "Colorfuls" or whatever it is they call themselves is readily apparent.  Reddaly.  red-dilly.
Ritalin.

Huh; I just saw that "Gracie" was also online here, and I just figured it was Scuzzy mispelling his name again.  And it seems to me Washingtonians is waay too long a name; maybe just go with "Washers" instead, for brevity.  

Ace; maybe the folks from Colorado can be "Collies".  Or "Rads".  That'd make Indians from Indiana "the IN crowd."  cool