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Overly Long Bar Joke

Started by Bill, April 29, 2005, 09:08 hrs

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Ace

See "overly long bar joke; the middle thingy."

I love commencement addresses where the speaker says "Your degree doesn't mean anything.  It's the journey to the goal that matters.  It's the effort, and struggle, not the achievement."  I gotta figure there are a bunch of people going "Dang... I thought the degree was important... shoot."

I think it would be like someone saying at a birthday party "It's not the celebration of your birth that's important.  It's all the other days that led up to your birthday that matter."  And you think "You mean I should've been getting presents during those, too?"

But, I digress.

Ace; heh.  Must be a day that ends in "Y".

Ring bells for service.

Ace

You know, I read "The Keep."  And saw the movie.  It was sorta like that.

I'm gonna wait for the midnight hour.  Do all the things I told you.  In the midnight hour.

Ace; Foghorn. Leghorn. Longhorn.
Ring bells for service.

Ace

It was like a castle; a fortress.  But designed to keep something in, not out.  Scott Glenn played the evil thingy that was sorta like a steroid-induced demon.  Nazis had control over it.  The final section of Return to Castle Wolfenstein is somewhat like it.

I agree on books.  I don't read them either.  I get halfway through and then I wander off to something else.  I do read magazines thoroughly.  I had enough of them in college.  Well, half of them.

Ace; who was that girl Zeus couldn't get off his mind?



Ring bells for service.

Bill

A "keep" you  say?  A dark and foreboding place...The Druid's Keep at Paranor, the safe-holding place of the Ancient  Knowledge of the World, where the Secret of the Sword of Shannara can be found.  From the series by Terry Brooks.

It also happens to be an overly long bar in Philadelphia.
http://tinyurl.com/8nduu





Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Ace

Ok; so the couple was "signing."  No sound?  Just gestures?
I suppose in a loud bar that wouldn't be a bad idea.

I like the idea of a bar that looks like a house. I suppose mine does.  You'd think Druids would have bars that look like trees.  Well, at least the restrooms.

Ace; I'm the Poasters Gesture.
Ring bells for service.

Bill

You're suggesting they are one and the same? Funny, I didn't notice any neon (no, not that Neon) beer signs in the windows.  I did think I noticed a keg under the faux desk, next to the squashed pig.  

When are your "open hours" and what time is last call?  I'll be sure to let Pat know.  I doubt I'd visit though, not being a beer drinker.  
Yes, I heard that sigh of relief all the way over here.  Besides, the hellhound doesn't care for stuffed pigs, or live ones, either.   But thanks for the invite....

Bill; I used to be a "pub crawler", then I learned to walk.

Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Ace

"Happy Hour" is a constant at a Jester's House.  

Last Call is when I run out, or someone needs to make a run.  We also serve Merlot and Pinot Grigio and Cabernet Sauvingnon and I'm starting to think the spelling is getting away from right about now and Chardonay.  Chardonnay.  Criminy, who taught the French to spell, anyway.

I'm glad the Mexicans kicked their fannys at the Cinco de Mayo thing, just for that.

The only way you noticed a keg under my desk is if I was on the floor.

Ace; we could meet Pat at the Pub.  That's close by, too.
Ring bells for service.

Bill

If you moved your monitor and keyboard, you could stay there all the time.

I used to know a "drinker" that used a long straw with the vodka on the floor, usually for breakfast.  Unfortunatley, he died in bed.  Guess what from?

Bill; I normally like to wait 'til the sun is up.
Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Ace

Well, keep looking.

(it sure wasn't in any of that..).  

Ok; this is like CSI/House, trying to guess the cause of death.  Here's what we know:  the vodka was on the floor.  He used a straw.  It wasn't just for breakfast, anymore.  They were deaf, or at least it was a sign.  She told him to speak up. so he raised his hand...  She said to lower his voice, so he touched the floor...  

I'm guessing it was straw stuck in the nasal passage...  He blew his mind out in a car...  He didn't notice that the light had changed.

Wait a minute; that sounds more like Special victims unit.   Shoot.  We need a medium to figure out the other side.

I'd like a cold glass of cold beverage.  That's my favorite before dinner drink.  In the winter I might have warm glass of cold beverage, if the dishwasher was just emptied, or cold glass of warm beverage, at Nick's Patio.  Either way.  

Here's a Murphy's Law; keeping in mind Murphy is an idiot:  The Sure Sign of Your Propane Tank Running Empty is the Purchase of a couple of Semi-Boneless Ribeyes, to Grill.  Indoors.  In a Dang Skillet.

Criminy, you'd think I woulda seen that one coming.  I got the valve twisted, I'm throwing blue tip matches, I'm getting Butkus.  Ahhhyaaayaa.

Ace; trip to the Gas Station, soon.
Ring bells for service.

Ace

I don't think you're allowed to use that excuse "it wasn't meant to be funny; I was being serious."  Only the officious Jester can do that.  It's in the employee handbook.

Speaking of that old house bar; I remember going to the White Horse in Rhode Island, which was supposedly the oldest bar in the U.S.  It did seem old.  Not very entertaining, either.  It got old, fast.

Maybe that's the joke; "the joke was on them, as they searched for days for a joke they thought might be hidden in the thread.."  Like a "House" where somebody comes in with a cold and they try to figure all manner of causes for his condition, like leprosy or accidental inhaling of new car vinyl particulates from the Ford Fairlane they had when he was a kid.

ACe; "She couldn't see what he was saying, since he was signing in the rain."

Ring bells for service.

Ace

You have our gratitude for having ended the Cold War.  And for doing your part to keep it from becoming a Hot War.  I suppose you were stationed in Bermuda to watch over the Warm spots, in case they got caught in between.

No, it hasn't come to this.  It came to that; that then came to this.  

Ace; I don't write to be read.  I read to be right.
Ring bells for service.

Bill

But since you only read half, that would make you a half-  oh, that wouldn't be nice- never mind.

And, you  know the White House was moved to D.C. a century or so ago.
Geez, could you at least try to stay current?

Bill; I'm 120v.
Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Ace

Finally coiled...?  

They could've moved the White House today, since they finally got everyone out of it.  Heck, I live in a White House.

AC/DC
Ring bells for service.

Bill

But your office faces East.   Leave it to the Jester to pick the wrong Wing.

Buncha wussies.  Can't smell the fuse burnin', ain't no reason to leave.

Bill
Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Ace

"You never smell the fuse that gets you..."

I just made that up.  It's like "you never see the bus' squeeling tires that gets you" or "you never hear the ham that chokes you" or "you never feel the loose shoelace that finally trips you up."  Like those

Maybe the next overly long bar joke could have Singing Signers, a couple who do billboards.  Or Singeing Slingers, a couple who serve flaming bar drinks.  

Ace; or maybe not.
Ring bells for service.

Bill

#45
Spring has arrived in New Joisey.  Grass needs cutting,  pollen count is high, along with the pollution, and we awake to the melodious sounds of leaf blowers and lawn mowers (not mine)  that start at dawn.  Beech and oak trees are dumping their usual volumes of spring "foliage", temps have been 65 -70 and I haven't watered the new seed because the weatherliars have been forecasting "showers" for the last 3 days.  Alas, tomorrow I get to play with the sprinkler systems, I guess.

Bill;  guess I'll stake him out on the lawn to see if he likes sprinklers better than he likes rain!  

Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Ace

Well, if he's like most dogs he'll do his own sprinkling.

We had pretty nice weather here in magical/mystical Michiana, but right now it's preturnaturally cold and gloomy.  We've got the furnace on as well as CSI.  I read where one of those pitbull owners (2 of them) was attacked and killed, by them.  

Ace; in a pack, that's a quorum.
Ring bells for service.