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The Dead Poast

Started by scuzzy, May 16, 2004, 11:17 hrs

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scuzzy

No, the subject isn't "The Dead Poaster". This is not about Bubba,,,,,,,,,,,,,

As the subject implies, this is a dead poast. Right from the start. I got tired of Ace constantly killing poasts before they had a chance to take off. So, I figured I'd get a leg up on him and kill this poast myself.

By the incredible powers I have as King of Poast, I hereby declare this poast dead. As in finished. This poast has no life whatsoever, and it stands no chance of ever becoming anything of value.

Scuzzy; he can pull you over for trespassing in a "No Poasting" zone
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Neon

No, it's dead. As dead as a dead penguin.

And good riddance, I say. I always hated this particular poast, it's about time somebody knocked it down. For the good of everyone. Good. There.
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Ace

Get your dang leg off me, dangit.  I have no intention of entering your "No Poast Zone."  So don't be shooting any warning shots over my bow.  Bough.  Bow Wow.  Bow Wow Wow.. I like candy.

No I don't.  I feel like I need to brush right after.

It wasn't very nice to drag Wade into this either, as we're talking about Bubba's demise.  Even though there is guilt by association, and neither one can get a dang joke out of the garage without it stalling.

Ace; Scuzzy's powers are incredible.  Sans credible.  Without credibility.
Ring bells for service.

scuzzy

Quote from: Neon on May 16, 2004, 12:14 hrs
No, it's dead. As dead as a dead penguin.


I'm not sure if that's a good example, since I've seen some pretty lively penguins. They can be pretty comical, too.

Maybe "As dead as a live panda" is more appropriate.
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Ace

Ok, now.  I'm seeing things.  This is not funny.  

This dang poast was dead.  No; I mean really dead.  Like in "Ode to Ace" poast dead.  Waay past dormant.  Really "sans life".  Now it's "Nosferatu."  

The Undead Poast.

Geez whillikers louise.  This is too bizarre.  

I mean, it was pretty much born dead.  And, criminy, my poast woulda killed it off anyway.  I mean, it's what I do.  And Neon even cursed it with a dead penguin, which is like what happened to the Cubs with that goat or the deal where they throw squid or octupuses octuppuses Octopi on the ice at that hockey arena.  Like in "The Curse of Wade", where the penguin appears and then the poast disappears.  Dissapears.  Criminy, I really can't spell can I.

I don't know if an actual dead live panda would be creepier than this.  

It's like April Fool's day, which, to a fool like me, is a pretty big holiday all in all.  The Lazarus Poast appears after how many dang days dead, there's birthday parties all over the place for non-celebrants, and I gotta figure a vampire is gonna celebrate what...?  Date of Birth?  Date of Death?  Both?  I guess no big deal, since you're not aging so birthdays probably couldn't do you harm anyway.

Ace; I am weirded out.  

Ring bells for service.

Nestor

...It came luching out of it's shrouded and festooned crypt, leaking strange fluids and groaning in ancient, cryptic agony. Bony fingers scrabbling for purchase on the crypt door, it slowly pulled open the ancient stone door, and stared at the sun with unblinking, pitted sockets. It then realized, once and for all, that it was the Undead Poast.

The end.
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Ace

Oh, I was just kidding about Travis' new photo.  It's not that bad.

Ace; big, but not that bad.
Ring bells for service.

iansl

Big, but worse than before, but not too bad. And worse than before...only by a little bit.

Nestorath, you need to write a book like that, then email it to me...
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Mark H

I thought this poast was dead. It sure has a lot of life to it for a dead poast. Maybe it is the beginning of the "Dawn of the Dead?"
Enjoy the nature that is around you rather than destroying it.

Nestor

Fictional writing is one of my many hobbies. One of the few passions i have left in this *sniff* horrible world!

;D

It's really, really hard to come across as facetious on a forum...
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trav

Quote from: Neon on May 16, 2004, 12:14 hrs
No, it's dead. As dead as a dead penguin.

:o Uh-Oh, here comes Linus!! AAH! ;D
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Ace

Take a journey with Ted Nugent... just don't stand in the way of the bow.
Or arrow.

Criminy, Travis, that's the most you've said in weeks.  Actual words, and everything.  Being 14.125867076 years old is working out for you.

Fictional reading is one of my hobbies.  I read things and figure it's made up, even if it wasn't.  And I agree that things do look lousy when you have a head cold ("sniff").

The root word of "facetious" is face.  A giant, grinning, face coming out of the sky...

Ace; stupid dead poast is alive.  Nothing works right some days.
Ring bells for service.

Nestor

You're intimidated by that insane rictus grin and wide staring eyes, giggling as it looms down from the ceiling as you lay quivering in a puddle of sweat... :o

Now I've managed to go and scare myself.
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trav

Quote from: Ace on May 21, 2004, 06:04 hrs
Take a journey with Ted Nugent... just don't stand in the way of the bow.
Or arrow.


???


QuoteYou're intimidated by that insane rictus grin and wide staring eyes, giggling as it looms down from the ceiling as you lay quivering in a puddle of sweat...

Now I've managed to go and scare myself.  

:o
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iansl

Whoops, travis. You put two posts there. If you hadn't, this post wouldn't be on fire. But now it is...a dead poast on fire. Let's crem...whatever you do with a dead poast that's on fire. Then it'll really be ashen and dead.
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scuzzy

I'm not sure I've ever met a more difficult group of people. Wait... okay, maybe I have in Cell Block Alpha, but not anywhere else. Well, except for that woman who took her... oh, nevermind. I probably shouldn't talk about that here. Aside from that, you folks are difficult.

I clearly stated that this poast is dead, but you folks continue going to its funeral. Once might be understandable. Paying your respects is nice, but it's time to bury this puppy once and for all. Geez, it's starting to smell bad. This thing should be pushing up daisies and rag weeds.

Okay folks, it's time to move on. Put it drive and move forward. Release the parking brake, take your foot off the brake  pedal and stomp on the accelarator. Don't forget to start it first. Go on, get moving. There are other poasts to look at, such as Ace's now famous poast about nothing.

Did I mentioned the stupid suspect who took his socks, turned them inside-out and wiped... oh, I probably shouldn't talk about that one either. Nevermind.

Travis, you need to poast something other than smilies. We're gonna lower your poast count by 5 for every smily  you poast. No, not really. But we're thinking about it. Maybe it's time for us to disable those stupid smily things. I hate them. :P
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trav

Quote from: Scuzzy on May 21, 2004, 11:31 hrs


Travis, you need to poast something other than smilies. We're gonna lower your poast count by 5 for every smily  you poast. No, not really. But we're thinking about it. Maybe it's time for us to disable those stupid smily things. I hate them. :P



WHA?! NOO YOU CANT I LOOVE SMILEYS!!! :'(
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iansl

Quote from: Scuzzy on May 21, 2004, 11:31 hrs
Maybe it's time for us to disable those stupid smily things. I hate them.
Quote from: Scuzzy on May 21, 2004, 11:31 hrs
:P

Um...what about that?
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Ace

Travis; you can do it.  Give them up.  You'll be a better man for it.  You can use words, and whatever else, instead.  I know it's an addiction, like poasting in all caps and adding too many vowels, but I have faith in you.  Heck, if you give up smileys maybe I'll give up heavy beer.

Ian, that's not a smiley.  It's a frowny.  Or, actually, a tongue sticker outy.  

The smilies serve a purpose; they can pad a poast and also convey an emotion or clarify intent.  All smileys is like just poasting a giant head, grinning, on a red tee shirt.  Not that it's bad, by itself, but it's just not sufficient.  You need to say something too.  

Like, when you put the confused looking smiley after my Ted Nugent. I mean, what did you want to know?  I couldn't tell, just by the perplexed little yellow face.  

And let's not overdo the dang cut and paste poast duplication, where we repeat a poast in our poast so as to make this horribly long redundant poast that doesn't say a dang thing past the original poast except to repeat it again and add a stupid smiley face or some such.  Criminy.  I like reruns as well as the next guy, but I like new shoes too.  Shows.  Whichever.

Ace; I want to hear more about the guy with the socks.  Did he make puppets?  Was that it?
Ring bells for service.

iansl

I think that's in the Re: poast.
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Macbook Air 1.6GHz 80GB HDD, OS X 10.5.2 + WinXP Pro, SuperDrive addon

The man, the mac user, the cell phone

Ace

#20
Ok, this has gone on long enough people.

Look; this thing's a dang dead poast.  It started dead, it was even killed by Scuzzy after being born dead and I've worked to kill it and now the dang thing not only perpetuates ad infinitum or carpe diem or veni vedi vici or other Latin which I never took, remember, it is now ranging into other poasts per Ian's reference to "Re:" and, I'm sorry, I for one am not going to go jumping around this thing and that thing looking for this thing there or that thing here like there's going to be a quiz, later.

There isn't, is there?

Well, I should hope not.  Now, as an Undead Poast That Refuses To Die, I'm kinda stuck on how to get rid of it.  I've tried killing it, but, criminy, how do you kill something that's already dead?  Why do you think zombie movies are popular?  Besides most of your coworkers are them?  You know?  It's like trying to make a panda stink.  I mean, how could it be more so, when it already is to the maximum allowed?

So here's my plan:

I, Ace, Jester of The Chatroom LOOKOUT Janitor et al., By The Powers Vested In Me Do Proclaim The Dead Poast

Alive.  

There.  That, I would think, should take care of it.  It's like "Bizzarro Superman."  Do the opposite.  The oxymoron.  We went over that elsewhere.  No, don't go look it up; geese louis, it's not important.  What is is that what was here, ends here.

Ace; I hope that did the trick.
Ring bells for service.

Igloo

i am confused, so its not dead, but alive or is it dead but re-surected, so it is now immortal, or is that something else?

???
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Ace

NO IT'S NOT IMMORTAL DANGIT IT'S NOT ABOUT PIZZA NOW WOULD EVERYBODY JUST EVACUATE THE PREMISES AND LET THE DANG THING DIE OR LIVE AND THEN  DIE WHATEVER IT TAKES AND QUIT RETURNING AND QUIT POASTING TO IT AND CONTINUING ITS GOSHFORSAKEN ABOMINATION OF AN EXISTENCE AND QUIT YELLING AT PEOPLE AND

Oh.  Ok.  Alright then.  Just tiptoe out.. don't make a sound.. let it sleep.  Like a panda, 6 feet under, sleeps...  Let the air outta it.  Leave it alone.  There.

Ace; criminy, we could use some rules around here.  And let's have a dang smiley emoticon moratorium.  I mean; who needs a little guy whose head stinks?  ??? what's up with that?

Ring bells for service.

Igloo

so its not immotal, but gaining strenght at every poast?
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2gb PC 3800 RAM
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2x 250gb Maxtor S-ata drives
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32x DVD,
Dual Layer DVD Burner.

Server:

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1x 40gb 1x 60gb IDE drives.
DVD - Rom.
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Ace

Immotal? Immodium?  "T" before "H"?  
This thing needs Van Helsing to come in and end it.  Or at least Wesley Snipes.

Ace; Maybe a good shot of Round-Up.
Ring bells for service.

Nestor

I don't know what sort of life this poast has, and frankly, if this poast is less than alive, or more than dead, it probably feels like I do right now. That last beer i had last night? The one where I raised it up and tipped you a salute and said, with a slur, "Ace, this one's for you."? Yeah. That one was the one over my limit, and now I'm feeling downright BAD. Hung over. nauseous. ugh.

Travis: You didn't get the Ted nugent thing, because you probably didn't know that Ted Nugent is also known for his highly cool skill as a bow hunter.
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Ace

Well; good morning to you.  

We had a housefull yesterday, plus a cooler full.  I went with multiple Coronas.  For better or worse, I really don't get hungover any more.  Or inebriated.  Probably because my alcohol-blood level stays under .15, regardless of consumption.  Also, I did something to my left foot (hey, that was a movie!) and the pain is excrutiating.  So I saluted Canadians after the Coronas, and the ibuprofen.  Thanks for the toast.  That's spelled like "poast."  We figured that out, a long long time ago.

Cool bow hunter?  You tell Bambi's mom...   Ted doesn't like to have an unfair advantage when hunting, so he won't use a gun.  Of course, to be absolutely fair, a hunter should then have to go with teeth and finger nails.

Ace; anyone who isn't feeling too alive is welcome to doze here.
Ring bells for service.

Nestor

Oh, it was great- right after I was done poasting, I went into the bathroom, and bowed before the mighty porcelain king.
After my amazingly facinating gastric pyrotechnics, I slept for about 5 hours and when I woke up, i was raring to go. Everything was back on track and i was grooving. My computer was bogged down because of all the windows updates, so my Call of Duty mad LAN spree was brutally ended at the wrong end of an mp-44. I showed them what for, though.
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Ace

Many's the time I've stopped by to read poasts and felt like throwing up.  I mean, really, some of them make you want to gag.

Well, sure, mostly my own.  But still.

That, or doze off. Usually right in the middle of them.  Or sometimes, while I'm writing them.  There've been occasions where I've come to and wondered where I am... just to find my head resting on the keyboard, and myself staring up at the screen.  If you drool while you sleep it doesn't help the "shift" key, I've found.  And all the poast is is a row of smiley emoticons, stretching across the page.  And I think to myself, "What am I, caught in a Dude poast?" and realize it was just me snoozing away.  It's hard, at that point, to even figure the whole point of the poast I'd started.  Even after, I just can't get it.

ace; I'm a sleep poaster.  That would explain a lot now, wouldn't it?
Ring bells for service.

Mark H

Zzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzz. What? I must have fell asleep! How did that happen? It must have been an Ace poast. ;D
Enjoy the nature that is around you rather than destroying it.