Author Topic: GUDBUY T'ACE  (Read 2440 times)

Offline Ace

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GUDBUY T'ACE
« on: Mar 22, 2008, 07:03 PM »
Well, Poaster Patrons, it's nearly that time of year again.  The time when Your Resident Jester quits his job in "disgust" (actually, habit or tradition) and walks off into the sunset.

Crosses that thin blue line.  Passes over.  Does the Long Goodbye.  Here's his hat; what's his hurry.  Doesn't let the door hit him in the behind. 

It's Easter.  Eoster; Germanic Goddess of bunnies and eggs and spring.  Although, we got snowed on again.  I blame that either on Scuzzy and his stupid Mountain West Weather, or that they showed Fargo again as the movie of the day today.  So, it took all day to get to 45 and pretty much melt down the latest Pat's Lake affected snow. 

Easter is the time Ace the Jester walks off the job.  Vamooses.  So, I'll be gone as of tomorrow. 

You, on the other hand, may feel free to talk amongst yourself. 

With my passing, I would expect the usual homage and glad tidings and expressions of regret and acts of contrition.  Recommended are:

"Oh, Ace, please don't go"
"Ace, oh, please don't go"
"I'm very upset, and this sucks" (originated by the JimS, of which I'm still grateful)
"Don't Go.  Here's a Haiku"
"What's wrong with you?? Where can you go?"
"I told you so"  (probably Buff)
"I Believe in Dog, and I believe in Ace"
and also

"Ace; please don't go. Really; we can not Live Without You."  (my personal favorite)

If you look for me among the remnants in the Tech Tomb, I am not there.  If three or more are gathered and invoke my name, I'll probably be watching basketball instead.  If it's really early, like in England, I'll still be in bed. 

So, although it saddens me, I must be off.  I just had dinner, which was pork chops and peas and mashed potatoes with a smidge of garlic and pepper; and a nice S. African Chardonnay.  So, I'm fed up, and I quit.

It was a pretty good friday, and a decent Saturday, and now a Sunday of miracles and what not.  And I, in my peculiar way, re-enact the 2nd Coming of Ace in the chatroom, the first being the fool who sent for the clowns, and the second being
well, the time I left.  Again.  So, not wishing to break with tradition, and being a Good Egg, take my leave.

Ace; so long. and thanks for all the fish.
Ring bells for service.

Offline Bill

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #1 on: Mar 23, 2008, 06:44 AM »
And on the third day...bah, Humbug.

Bill
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Offline pat

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #2 on: Mar 23, 2008, 08:19 AM »
Goodbye to youuuuuuuuuuuuu,
Goodbye to you.

Speaking of good buys, I got some of that Dingus Style sausage and some Brussels Sprouts at Martins to celebrate Dingus day with tomorrow.

See you in about three days.
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Offline scuzzy

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #3 on: Mar 23, 2008, 11:56 AM »
I didn't have my reading glasses on when I first saw this thread, and I thought it was titled "Grubby Ace".

Anyway, here we go again. I guess I should sing "Happy Trails" and count my blessings, but it won't work. We've tried losing Ace several times over the years by changing sites, hosts, email addresses, font colors, etc., but he just keeps finding us. And when he does, he threatens to leave if we don't give him a raise.

Now he hints that he wants Haiku's to his glory, and this is the best that I can come up with on short notice:

Here we go again
"I need time to find myself"
Situation nor...

Scuzzy; I forget how that ends.
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Offline Ace

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #4 on: Mar 25, 2008, 03:02 PM »
Well, that was pathetic.  I even left specific instructions on preferred style and content, and scripting.  Let alone a range of suggestions.  And this is what I get...

Phoned-in "see yas."  Half a haiku.  Some poast on dinner and a movie, in the wrong dang room.  Christmas cheer.  A mapquest of where's Johnny.  Let alone the "no-shows"; don't think I won't remember you Buff JimS Lins JoeS BubbaS Plus all the tech guys who live upstairs and seldom come down to the rec room.

I tell ya, it hardly is worth it to walk off the job here.  At least, as janitor, there isn't anything to clean up.

Boy; "What if you were gone and then you came back and nobody came..."  What an Easter Miracle; Egg Goes Missing, and kids Give Up The Search.  I guess you figured if you just waited till it got rotten, it'd be easier to find.

That stinks.

While I was off, I was able to confiscate Pat's little stick Gifguy, and morph him into me.  Although he still startles me when I see him, that at least gave me something to do with my free time. 

Ace; people just don't honour traditions anymore.

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Offline Bill

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #5 on: Mar 25, 2008, 03:40 PM »
Last time we did an Ode to Ace to honour your tradition, some suffered the consequences.  I think your 'tradition,' however short lived it might be, isn't worth the risk of angering the those who can get angry, and get away with it.

Suffer not, it was comical.

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Offline Buffalo2102

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #6 on: Mar 25, 2008, 04:16 PM »
Well, that was pathetic. 

Couldn't agree more.  I didn't even notice you'd gone.

If you're going to walk out then make it count and make sure someone misses you.  I've noticed that even when you were supposed to be absent, you were actually popping into the techy areas to assist the new JoeS, JimS and LinS's.

I certainly noticed you were gone last year.  You should do what the Commercial people do with Xmas and make it last longer every year but you seem to be going the opposite way.  Before long, we'd be looking forward to the short yearly period when you are due to poast.  You'd be welcomed with open arms, instead of loaded arms.

Oh, and you'd better appreciate the fact that I've just typed this, my 1000th poastin this frankly pretty uninspiring thread.

Buff; only one mention of food so far.......
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Offline LinS

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #7 on: Mar 25, 2008, 08:47 PM »
Welcome Back Ace.
My deepest apologies for my seemingly callous failure to bid you a fondue (that was for Buff).
I for one (if I were one) thought I had more time to conjur up a suitable poetic offering. I struggled with the 5-7-5 syllable structure for writing haiku, since the Japanese count sounds and the Americans count syllables. For example, the word "ha-i-ku" would count as three (sounds) in Japan, but only count as two (syllables) in the US. American haiku tends to be wordier, and not necessarily worthier as a result. Before I could figure out how to resolve my dilemma, you were back!

LinS; Japan 3, USA 2

Offline scuzzy

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #8 on: Mar 25, 2008, 11:10 PM »
Well, it's just like ol' grubby Ace to steal something that isn't his. What a miscreant. I should charge him with theft, misdemeanor criminal mischief, disorderly conduct, crimes against the public good, and other generally hideous crimes. Heinous. Heineken.

And I'm sorry that you didn't like my half-baked haiku. I'll have you know that I worked hard on that for about 2 minutes. That's 2 minutes that I spent placating you to no avail.

BTW: Your avatar needs to go on a diet. At least Pat's avatar looks slim and healthy. Yours looks like it has a beer belly and wears Jack LaLanne jump suits. I'll bet he has a tattoo behind his head, too. Tattoo.

Ace quit once again
No surprise he came back. Oh,
The humanity

Scuzzy; burning britches.
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Offline Ace

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #9 on: Mar 26, 2008, 04:32 AM »
Actually, I think I've got a zit behind my head.  I wish I could see back there, to know if the thing on my head has come to a head.

And don't blame me for the dang techie tours.  Blame the JimS for saying my name 3 times while looking in a mirror.  I wouldn't go there if I wasn't summoned.  I don't know how Japanese count.  As long as they hire us to build their cars for us, I guess they count.

Congratulations Buff on your 1,000th.  I remember when I did my 1,000th poast here.  I was 12 years old and

As far as Scuzzy's first attempt, that's 2 minutes of your life you'll never get back.  See how many poasts I have, and count how long they take to read, and then forget, and then ponder how much of your life you've wasted on me, here.  Otherwise, the "welcome Back, Ace" was pretty sweet.  It makes me want to leave again, just to return to your heartfelt gratitudes and welcomes. 

Maybe at the end of each day, I could sign off and saying "Farewell; till next we meet" and you all could do a round of "oh, no, Ace, don't go" "Don't leave us Ace, even For a Second or an evening!" or "Huh. Didn't know you were even here" and then I could poast something the next day and you could all go "Oh! Joy! Ace is Back!" and "Ode! Joy! Ace has returned!"

Ace; you go... Ace goes.. that was for Bill. 

Ring bells for service.

Offline pat

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #10 on: Mar 26, 2008, 02:32 PM »
Ok, I'll do an owed to Ace, one margarita, offered several times and always to busy to sit down and have it.

Go figure?

But seriously, glad you're back. Just wasn't the same here without you. You are the jingle that makes the bells ring on your pointy jester shoes.

You are the smile on my fACE.
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Offline Ace

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #11 on: Mar 26, 2008, 05:04 PM »
I thought it was a liter...  Ok.  Fine; one dang margarita. 

Ace; I hope they have one of those Jumbo ones for a speciale.  Once it warms up.
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Offline Buffalo2102

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #12 on: Mar 27, 2008, 05:53 AM »
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Offline Ace

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #13 on: Mar 27, 2008, 06:05 AM »
"litre".. oh, you British guys think your spelling is so superiour to ours... with your honour and humour and lorry and loo and fawlty...  Look, just because you're better writers and singers and comedians than us doesn't mean your supper is ready...

Now, I'm looking at this recipe and trying to imagine just how this would turn out, and the closest thing I can think of is "Sangria."  Criminy, I haven't had Sangria since college.  And not like I've missed it, since, any more than Boone's Farm Apple. 

I do have a lush of a sister in law who will drink anything; I might have her try it.  She's actually made tequila Bloody Marys. 

I do not know what a mls is.  Here, it's a "multiple listing service" for real estate.  With the house market the way it is, I'm not gonna invest in real estate any more than I already have in my 401K.  I probably could slim down my Avatar Guy if I shook for 30 seconds a day.

Ace; we should order one of those for Pat at Hacienda.
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Offline JimS

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2008, 02:50 AM »
Don't leave, Ace.

Welcome back, Ace.

Late to the party, as usual.  I blame my wife (yeah, that's the ticket...) for that.
"I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good I can do, or any kindness that I can show any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
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Offline Ace

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2008, 05:44 AM »
Look, just because I poast an Easter blonde joke doesn't mean it's that time of year.  And typical that you'd change the subject from what became of me to where've you been. 

I am working on a Spelling is Phundamental Phonetic Dictionary of the States.  So far I've got:
Calaforna
Indyana
Illnoise
Mitchegan
Cantuckee
and Ohio.

Ace; some things can't be improved.
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Offline Bill

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #16 on: May 06, 2008, 07:19 AM »
Shouldn't it be dickionary?
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Offline Ace

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2008, 07:26 AM »
I figured if I went with that it would turn out *****onary.

Ace; and I'm not even going to try that Girlicious Group again.
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Offline Bill

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #18 on: May 06, 2008, 12:24 PM »
Well OK, but that was better than Richardtionary, but if you prefer.......

Bill
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Offline Ace

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Re: GUDBUY T'ACE
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2008, 01:54 PM »
That could work.  Although Ricktionary could be useful.  Here might be some other texts that would serve a purpose:

Bobtionary = easier for dyslexics to look up words

Ozzie Guillenary = obscenities useful for describing the White Sox rightful place in the world, and Chicago.  Most start with "Horse.."

Hillary's Hilarities: Thesaurus for changing boring run of the mill events into exciting ones.  Example: "The plane landed, and we got off" becomes We had to run across the tarmac under sniper fire!  And that was just Chelsea doing Cinco de Mayo in Goshen!!

Reverend Wrightionary = how to turn any personal criticism into an attack on all people everywhere

Ron Paul's Secrets of Success = if you never quit, you can't lose

Baby Names of Doom = suggestions for causing your kid grief, plus should make them tough.  Examples are Ethel, Gladys, Winifred, Sherman, Alfred, and Scuzzy.

Jester's Book of Humour = how to use negative energy to work for you

Ace; I'll be going now



Ring bells for service.