The Dead Poast

[Bill]

Thank goodness he DOESN"T talk. He does enough as it is.  The latest annoyance is his invasion of football games, plastered across the field in semi-transparent form, always headed in the same direction, regardless of which way the Offense is pushing.  Next thing you know, he'll be invading beer commercials.

Brilliant!

[Ace]

Geez Criminy Louise.

I'm reading this dang thing, page 9 as it were, and I'm thinking
"Yeah, probably good Trav doesn't talk... Huh.  I don't recall seeing him running across football games; either on TV or Madden.  That would be annoying.  And Trav in beer commercials..?  For what, Labatts?  Molsons?  TG I could see in a beer commercial, if there was any left, but dude..? What the hey..."

Ok.  The little handicapped AOL guy.  Not Trav.  Thank goodness.

Ace; I just remembered I have short term memory loss.

[Bill]

Well,
A: Trav may be little but he isn't yellow.

2: Trav does have a lot to say.

III: Guiness would do.

Directions out of here would be helpful.

Brilliant!

Crikey

[Mark H]

This "The Dead Poast" thread is hot on the heels of the record set by the "Recent Poast" thread.

[Ace]

Yeah, but the Dead Poast is made up of living poasters while the Recent Post is made up of dead poasters.

Ace; 'bout time the Pizza Poast came to life.

[Bill]

Wrong room  but, hey. ;D

[Ace]

Well, if there were directions here maybe that wouldn't happen.  

Ace; all the rooms are the same, and the points don't matter.

[Bill]

Seems like you and the vest finally did it.

[Ace]

Shhh.  

Ace; I put new batteries in it.  I didn't know they'd run down.

[trav]

Ressurection!


Muwahahahha...Yes, im short, but i dont run like that and carry around a big sign that says "Try our internet service for 59 Years FREE!". Me: I run around carrying a sign that says "I want to be the next Jester!"

[Buffalo2102]

Well, if running around and carrying a sign was the main requirement, you'd be in there.  Like a shot.  But I think you have to be quite mad too.  The blub in the neck contributes towards that but I'm still not sure you qualify.  Almost though.  Perhaps you could become the Apprentice Jester

Besides, we already have a Jester.  I think the only way that you would get to be Jester is if Ace "steps down" or (god forbid) "shuffles off".

Still, keep carrying the sign.  You never know......

[Ace]

Look; I haven't shuffled since I had gout, back in June.  Dangit.  I walk perfectly fine, pretty much, otherwise.  

I'd step down, but I've already hit bottom...  

Ace; he lost the election.  Tough luck.  Live with it.  Criminy.

[Bill]

Ace was declared the winner but the Iowa votes haven't been counted, probably won't be.

Maybe time for a brighter light blub, attract more attention.  Or, make the avatar bigger, no, wait mm, any bigger and it will take over the thread, maybe the whole room.

You haven't hit bottom until the batteries die.  Even if the Heineken bottle is empty.

[Ace]

That wasn't the battery-operated Heineken bottle. I can plug them in directly on the desktop, since the Belkin power strip is right there.

Maybe Iowa should've had a caucus, instead.  Then people might have paid them some attention.  Or a straw poll.  Well, a corn poll, I guess.  

Funny their team's the Hawkeyes.  I guess others might consider:
Cowsears.  Pigsnouts.  Goathooves. Eagletoes.  Falconbeaks. Chickenlips.  Oysterarms.

We don't want any eternal avatar showing its giant perpetual face in here...  This place is haunted enough, as it is.

Ace; the poast is off life support. It's breathing on its own.

[Bill]

If Iowa held their caucus now it would give election officals enough time to count the results.

[Ace]

Casper looks like the lovechild of the Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man and the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Ok. wait a minute.

That's not right...  I don't think that's even legal now, in 17 states.  Let alone Iowa, if they ever get a chance to offer an opinion.

"Friendly Ghost."  I guess that's like "Nice Clown" or "Playful Pitbull" or "Pleasant Nightmare."  Oh, and "Funny Jester."  Yeah, right.

Ace:  Colon Powell.

[Bill]

Funny and Jester is redundant, assuming  'funny' is other than comical.  

[Ace]

Yeah, it is.  How the heck do you write a 1-line poast and then have to EDIT the dang thing...?   Criminy, what did you start with?

Ace - Not funny "ha ha."  Just "funny..."

[Bill]

Correctness in all things.  I started with the wrong verb for a compound subject.

Ask a picky question....

not funny, at all. ;)

At least Trav has a new toy.

[Ace]

I appreciate your restraint, or at least oversite, in not noticing I edited my dang short poast immediately upon poasting.

Criminy, I don't serve well as an example.  

Ace; I do ok if someone says "Let's make an example of him.."

[Bill]

congratulations on your new found acumen with avatars.  Not only are you linking, your using your own pictures.

Squirrel doesn't look that fat to me.  Another Jerster exaggeration?

Far be it from me to to exercise restraint.  I flat out missed it, darn it.  Another missed opportunity.
But, I am certain there will be others!

Poast more pictures.

[Ace]

Oh, he's fat alright.  Look at the pants on that guy.  He's not life sized.  I would've shot him from the back, but I don't have a wide-angle on the Canon.

Heck, it'd take a cannon to knock one of the lard-b's over.  

Ace; I'll poast a photo of my pet rabbit later.

[Bill]

Its not very sporting to shoot things in the back.  
Even fat, nasty, dangerous, donut-eating, peanut stealing squirrels.  

[Ace]

It's ok if you shoot them from the front, as long as you yell "This one's playing dead."  

I'm afraid to stand behind the squirrels, in case they'd back up over my camera and crush it.  I'd stand behind any of you guys, though.

Ace; as long as you don't back up.  

[Bill]

Now Bob qualifies as 'fat'.  Too many bananas or "Greenies".  

I don't remember seing him at your desk, if it was really your desk.

[Ace]

Criminy, no, Bob doesn't work at my desk.  Geez Louise, he's a dang monkey.

I mean, sure, I could mount him on my keyboard and take a photo, but that could be misinterpreted.

Hmmm.  That gives me an idea.  And you know that's never good.

Ace; dead monkey + dead poast = trouble brewing

[Bill]

I can smell the wood burning from here, or is that the turkey?  

[Ace]

No, we have the turkey chilling.  I wonder how many "hands" a turkey would measure?  I'm thinking "two."

Ace; around its throat.  And to think that ugly thing was almost our National Bird/Icon.  Heh; could you imagine a flagpole with a Turkey planted on top?  That'd gain respect and awe in the world...

[Bill]

It at least would have had the advantage of putting the world to sleep.

Imagine if turkey were the daily fare in the Middle East.  Everyone too sleepy to build bombs and argue about anything.

Hormones do serve some useful purposes.  

[Ace]

Well, I know what's fatter than a big fat roasted turkey.  I think they oughta give turkeys peanuts to fatten them up, because it works on the yard apes here with their plump arms and bloated bellies and fat furry pants.  These guys wandered up today and shook the lawn chairs.



Ace; and they said they weren't all that fat.