• Welcome to Poasters Computer Forums.
 

News:

Welcome to the ARCHIVED Poasters Computer Forums (Read Only)

Main Menu

More Blond(e)...

Started by JimS, August 02, 2004, 16:12 hrs

Previous topic - Next topic

Bill

Well they'd be right, half the time. 'bout how my day went.

TGIM, soon anyway.

Bill; dang dandelions.
Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Ace

Normally I wouldn't look forward to a Monday, but this one is aight since JimS have to reappear to poast new Blonde material.

See, the joke was the Blonde wouldn't have gotten any right on the True-False test, since the answers wouldn't be "Yes" or "No."  That's an example of very subtle humour.  Very.

Subliminal, almost.

Ok; that's why Jims Need To Appear and poast Blonde Jokes and not me.

Ace; Poasting activity is known as Poast Op.
Ring bells for service.

Bill

Obscure, even. I don't understand your explanation, either.  But at the end of the the day, who cares?  Just another bit of magical Michiana that sailed over head.

And about the typo, "it;s"  - that better?  Actually it wasn't a typo, there are contextual situations where "its" is correct,  I just can't remember when or what the rule is for the semicolon.   Yes, I know...

Bill; true or false?

Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Chandler

It's better if blond(e)s are tall because that way there's less chance of stuff going over their heads.

Ace

See? Chandler got "It's" right, and he doesn't even speak American.

Ace; I might give English a try, one of these days.
Ring bells for service.

Bill

#95
Yes, you should have a go at it. :P

FYI:  http://tinyurl.com/dmg6f

Altho the semicolon is easier to use.

Bill; as opposed to a run at it.  That might hurt.  
Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Ace

Geez, it's not for me.  I got it right.  

I was thinking I could use Chandler's avatar statement with my avatar.

Of course, the semicolon is easiest to use.  It's a peach of a punctuation.  It pauses, but not completely.  It sets up a statement; everybody has to love that.  You can squeeze it in; almost anywhere.  Well, ok, not there, but a lot of places.

You know, I've seen people spell a lot "alot."  Like it's a real word.

I should probably think up some "blonde mispelling something" joke.  Criminy, if he doesn't get back in here will probably have to.

Ace; all those JimS and none of them shows up for work...
Ring bells for service.

JimS

#97
Monday???  MONDAY???  AAAAHHHH, THE PRESSURE, I (oops, I mean we) CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE!!!

There, that's better, I'm (oops, I mean we're) okay now...

It's Wednesday.  Okay, we're late.  So sue us...


A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Florida.  She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking for the highly prized shoes.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a decent price!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile.  "Little lady, ya'll just go and give it a try, why don'cha!"  The blonde turned on her heel and headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch herself an alligator.  Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky swamp water, shotgun in hand.  Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.  With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and, with a great deal of effort, hauls it onto the slimy swamp bank.  Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper stands on the bank and watches this scenario in amazed silence.  Just then, the blonde struggles and flips the gator on its back.  Rolling her eyes heaven ward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out, "Darn, this one is barefoot, too!"


TO: Boss
FROM: Blondie
RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K

I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me.

At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year.

The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months:
Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk

I also changed all the days of each week to:
Sundak
Mondak
Tuesdak
Wednesdak
Thursdak
Fridak
Saturdak

We are now Y to K compliant. Have a nice dak!!!
"I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good I can do, or any kindness that I can show any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet

Ace

UROK2.

Thanks.
Ace; it's ok these came in on Wednesday, since it's probably Wednesday somewhere in the world anyway.
Ring bells for service.

JimS

Two blondes were building a house.  One saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out.  She thought that this was weird and decided to look into it.

"Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?"

"Well, when I pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, I nail it in.  If it is facing away from the house, it is defective and I throw it away."

"You idiot, those nails aren?t defective, they are for the other side of the house."


Why do blondes leave empty milk cartons in the fridge?
In case someone wants black coffee.


Two women jump off a bridge, one was blonde and the other brunette.  Who hits the ground first?
The brunette.  She just fell but the blonde had to stop to ask for directions.


How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
"I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good I can do, or any kindness that I can show any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet

Ace

Excellent! You nailed it, didn't airmail it, set sail to it, detailed it.

Criminy, now I'm starting to sound like Johnny...  Ok; those were good.  One was recycled, but that's aight if it's a good one.  

Ace; I'm having black coffee.
Ring bells for service.

JimS

"I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good I can do, or any kindness that I can show any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet

Ace

Dang! You JimS are not only great wordsmiths but now you do graphic arts too!  That is too cool.  You guys are something else.

Ace; I wish I was something else.
Ring bells for service.

JimS

I should have given credit for those to Al Lowe's (the creator of Leisure Suit Larry) Humor Site, allowe.com.

My bad, Al.  Credit given where credit's deserved.
"I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good I can do, or any kindness that I can show any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet

Ace

Ok.  That's understandable.

Ace; but you mispelled AI.
Ring bells for service.

Ace

Good Job, JA!  For picking up the mantle and running with it.

(and for our German readers, that does not say "Good Job, Yes!").

Ace; I especially liked the "weasel" touch.
Ring bells for service.

Ace

You done good.  JA.

(to our Euro friends, Ace just poasted: "You did good.  Yes.")

Ace; he did.  He done.
Ring bells for service.

Bill

That must have been a creative substitution.   Weasel is too good a word.

Bill
Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

Ace

I wonder what weasels call each other, to be mean?

Ace; I do. I wonder.
Ring bells for service.

Ace

Of course.  I would have thought of that, but I refuse to think about them.

I am not thinking about them, now.

Ace; I will not.
Ring bells for service.

JimS

Gotta reclaim my thread... dang hijackers...

A blonde applied for a job and was given a form to complete.  On a form was a box labeled, "Salary Expected."  After much thought, the blonde wrote, "Yes."
"I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good I can do, or any kindness that I can show any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet

Ace

It's your own fault for leaving the door open.  And good for her; I hope she gets what she asked for.

Ace; a good day for me is if I get what I want, and not what I deserve.
Ring bells for service.

LinS

Hi. Just wanted to introduce ourselves...we're married to JimS.
We felt compelled to poast after reading this Blonde thread while JimS went on a Friday fast food foray. (We're into alliteration.)
I thought you might like to know that JimS has a v. blonde son, and that I have been known to pay good money for blonde highlights, although I am now seriously questioning the logic behind that decision.

Bill

Welcome.
Are you going to follow suit with a new line of gender jokes?

Bill; thank goodnes they don'to find gray funny.
Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

JimS

WWHHAAAAA!!!!

I don't believe this... geez, my last bastion of virtual privacy, and look, she's found me...  

:'(

Honey, do I need to pick up any milk or bread?
"I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good I can do, or any kindness that I can show any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet

Ace

I'm still trying to figure out "nurd" instead of "nerd."  I guess it rhymes with

Oh, never mind.  I am glad at least two of the Jims have revealed themselves, if not their roots.  As soon as the rest of that group appears, we'll know their real names.  Well, besides "Jim."

Gray is better than nothing.  That's my theme.

I will say I'm not in any hurry to come to the JimS for dinner, if that's what they pick up at the store... I suppose if they did French Toast it wouldn't be too bad.  And I don't have to shovel, so I'm ok with a big breakfast.  We made Quiche and Croissants today, in honour of the French Open.  I played tennis yesterday, and can't move my legs today, in honor of that.

Ace; Good thing I didn't try the Sunburst marathon or 10K.  I'd lose it on a 1K.
Ring bells for service.

JimS

I'm really messed up by my wife/wives finding me/us here.  It raises a few of questions:
1)  I thought I'd married one woman, but now there's more than one.  I thought I was the one with the problems...
2)  Does this make me/us a polygamist?  And what does it make her/them?
"I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good I can do, or any kindness that I can show any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet

Bill

No, it's polygamistS.  And, the same.

Bill; glad my wife is non-user.
Antec 3700 | Gigabyte GA-EP45-UD3R | Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 Wolfdale 3.0GHz | 4 GB (4x1GB) DDR2 PC 5300 Kingston RAM | Antec NeoPower 550W | eVGA GeForce 9500GT 1GB 128 bit PCI Express 2.0 | Intel SSD X25-M 80GB | VelociRaptor 150GB | WD 80GB 7200rpm |Samsung 22x SATA Burner |Windows 7 32-bit

LinS

An original blonde joke:

A young blonde woman and her friends were returning from a spring break trip to Europe.  Walking down the ramp after having disembarked from the plane, her attention was drawn to a large sign over the doors. The sign, which directed passengers to the appropriate gates for luggage retrieval, read ? Americans 5 Visitors 3?, to which the blonde loudly cheered, ?We?re winning!?

This is no joke?it really happened!

Ace

I think it's funny to call Lee Ann Rhymes a nerd.  Really.  So's Carrie Underworld.  

JimS. LinS. JimLinS.  LinJimS.  JimJams.  LingLings. ChinChin the Wonder Panda.  JimmyJamminLinOTypes.  The Thin Blue Lin..  

Ok; that's enough.

This is the first Poaster's Couple since ThatGuy introduced us to his Significant Other, and both disappeared Without A Trace.  And Travis, in the mirror.  Never to be seen, or heard from again...  That's kinda scary.  Whenever Two appear here, then Both Are Gone Forever.  Almost like when Bill and that other guy were sharing the same space, and that kid and his dog entered the Bermuda Quadrangle at that tent.

There is some strange psychic stuff goin on, here.  

Ace; I wonder if there are as many Lins as JimS.
Ring bells for service.