Poasters Computer Forums

Off the Wall => The Funny Bone => Topic started by: scuzzy on May 16, 2004, 11:17 hrs

Title: The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on May 16, 2004, 11:17 hrs
No, the subject isn't "The Dead Poaster". This is not about Bubba,,,,,,,,,,,,,

As the subject implies, this is a dead poast. Right from the start. I got tired of Ace constantly killing poasts before they had a chance to take off. So, I figured I'd get a leg up on him and kill this poast myself.

By the incredible powers I have as King of Poast, I hereby declare this poast dead. As in finished. This poast has no life whatsoever, and it stands no chance of ever becoming anything of value.

Scuzzy; he can pull you over for trespassing in a "No Poasting" zone
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Neon on May 16, 2004, 12:14 hrs
No, it's dead. As dead as a dead penguin.

And good riddance, I say. I always hated this particular poast, it's about time somebody knocked it down. For the good of everyone. Good. There.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 16, 2004, 12:16 hrs
Get your dang leg off me, dangit.  I have no intention of entering your "No Poast Zone."  So don't be shooting any warning shots over my bow.  Bough.  Bow Wow.  Bow Wow Wow.. I like candy.

No I don't.  I feel like I need to brush right after.

It wasn't very nice to drag Wade into this either, as we're talking about Bubba's demise.  Even though there is guilt by association, and neither one can get a dang joke out of the garage without it stalling.

Ace; Scuzzy's powers are incredible.  Sans credible.  Without credibility.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on May 19, 2004, 17:51 hrs
Quote from: Neon on May 16, 2004, 12:14 hrs
No, it's dead. As dead as a dead penguin.


I'm not sure if that's a good example, since I've seen some pretty lively penguins. They can be pretty comical, too.

Maybe "As dead as a live panda" is more appropriate.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 19, 2004, 18:05 hrs
Ok, now.  I'm seeing things.  This is not funny.  

This dang poast was dead.  No; I mean really dead.  Like in "Ode to Ace" poast dead.  Waay past dormant.  Really "sans life".  Now it's "Nosferatu."  

The Undead Poast.

Geez whillikers louise.  This is too bizarre.  

I mean, it was pretty much born dead.  And, criminy, my poast woulda killed it off anyway.  I mean, it's what I do.  And Neon even cursed it with a dead penguin, which is like what happened to the Cubs with that goat or the deal where they throw squid or octupuses octuppuses Octopi on the ice at that hockey arena.  Like in "The Curse of Wade", where the penguin appears and then the poast disappears.  Dissapears.  Criminy, I really can't spell can I.

I don't know if an actual dead live panda would be creepier than this.  

It's like April Fool's day, which, to a fool like me, is a pretty big holiday all in all.  The Lazarus Poast appears after how many dang days dead, there's birthday parties all over the place for non-celebrants, and I gotta figure a vampire is gonna celebrate what...?  Date of Birth?  Date of Death?  Both?  I guess no big deal, since you're not aging so birthdays probably couldn't do you harm anyway.

Ace; I am weirded out.  

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on May 20, 2004, 09:31 hrs
...It came luching out of it's shrouded and festooned crypt, leaking strange fluids and groaning in ancient, cryptic agony. Bony fingers scrabbling for purchase on the crypt door, it slowly pulled open the ancient stone door, and stared at the sun with unblinking, pitted sockets. It then realized, once and for all, that it was the Undead Poast.

The end.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 20, 2004, 09:51 hrs
Oh, I was just kidding about Travis' new photo.  It's not that bad.

Ace; big, but not that bad.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on May 20, 2004, 16:27 hrs
Big, but worse than before, but not too bad. And worse than before...only by a little bit.

Nestorath, you need to write a book like that, then email it to me...
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Mark H on May 20, 2004, 17:55 hrs
I thought this poast was dead. It sure has a lot of life to it for a dead poast. Maybe it is the beginning of the "Dawn of the Dead?"
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on May 20, 2004, 19:04 hrs
Fictional writing is one of my many hobbies. One of the few passions i have left in this *sniff* horrible world!

;D

It's really, really hard to come across as facetious on a forum...
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on May 21, 2004, 01:42 hrs
Quote from: Neon on May 16, 2004, 12:14 hrs
No, it's dead. As dead as a dead penguin.

:o Uh-Oh, here comes Linus!! AAH! ;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 21, 2004, 06:04 hrs
Take a journey with Ted Nugent... just don't stand in the way of the bow.
Or arrow.

Criminy, Travis, that's the most you've said in weeks.  Actual words, and everything.  Being 14.125867076 years old is working out for you.

Fictional reading is one of my hobbies.  I read things and figure it's made up, even if it wasn't.  And I agree that things do look lousy when you have a head cold ("sniff").

The root word of "facetious" is face.  A giant, grinning, face coming out of the sky...

Ace; stupid dead poast is alive.  Nothing works right some days.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on May 21, 2004, 10:00 hrs
You're intimidated by that insane rictus grin and wide staring eyes, giggling as it looms down from the ceiling as you lay quivering in a puddle of sweat... :o

Now I've managed to go and scare myself.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on May 21, 2004, 11:16 hrs
Quote from: Ace on May 21, 2004, 06:04 hrs
Take a journey with Ted Nugent... just don't stand in the way of the bow.
Or arrow.


???


QuoteYou're intimidated by that insane rictus grin and wide staring eyes, giggling as it looms down from the ceiling as you lay quivering in a puddle of sweat...

Now I've managed to go and scare myself.  

:o
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on May 21, 2004, 11:25 hrs
Whoops, travis. You put two posts there. If you hadn't, this post wouldn't be on fire. But now it is...a dead poast on fire. Let's crem...whatever you do with a dead poast that's on fire. Then it'll really be ashen and dead.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on May 21, 2004, 11:31 hrs
I'm not sure I've ever met a more difficult group of people. Wait... okay, maybe I have in Cell Block Alpha, but not anywhere else. Well, except for that woman who took her... oh, nevermind. I probably shouldn't talk about that here. Aside from that, you folks are difficult.

I clearly stated that this poast is dead, but you folks continue going to its funeral. Once might be understandable. Paying your respects is nice, but it's time to bury this puppy once and for all. Geez, it's starting to smell bad. This thing should be pushing up daisies and rag weeds.

Okay folks, it's time to move on. Put it drive and move forward. Release the parking brake, take your foot off the brake  pedal and stomp on the accelarator. Don't forget to start it first. Go on, get moving. There are other poasts to look at, such as Ace's now famous poast about nothing.

Did I mentioned the stupid suspect who took his socks, turned them inside-out and wiped... oh, I probably shouldn't talk about that one either. Nevermind.

Travis, you need to poast something other than smilies. We're gonna lower your poast count by 5 for every smily  you poast. No, not really. But we're thinking about it. Maybe it's time for us to disable those stupid smily things. I hate them. :P
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on May 21, 2004, 11:51 hrs
Quote from: Scuzzy on May 21, 2004, 11:31 hrs


Travis, you need to poast something other than smilies. We're gonna lower your poast count by 5 for every smily  you poast. No, not really. But we're thinking about it. Maybe it's time for us to disable those stupid smily things. I hate them. :P



WHA?! NOO YOU CANT I LOOVE SMILEYS!!! :'(
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on May 21, 2004, 13:13 hrs
Quote from: Scuzzy on May 21, 2004, 11:31 hrs
Maybe it's time for us to disable those stupid smily things. I hate them.
Quote from: Scuzzy on May 21, 2004, 11:31 hrs
:P

Um...what about that?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 22, 2004, 07:58 hrs
Travis; you can do it.  Give them up.  You'll be a better man for it.  You can use words, and whatever else, instead.  I know it's an addiction, like poasting in all caps and adding too many vowels, but I have faith in you.  Heck, if you give up smileys maybe I'll give up heavy beer.

Ian, that's not a smiley.  It's a frowny.  Or, actually, a tongue sticker outy.  

The smilies serve a purpose; they can pad a poast and also convey an emotion or clarify intent.  All smileys is like just poasting a giant head, grinning, on a red tee shirt.  Not that it's bad, by itself, but it's just not sufficient.  You need to say something too.  

Like, when you put the confused looking smiley after my Ted Nugent. I mean, what did you want to know?  I couldn't tell, just by the perplexed little yellow face.  

And let's not overdo the dang cut and paste poast duplication, where we repeat a poast in our poast so as to make this horribly long redundant poast that doesn't say a dang thing past the original poast except to repeat it again and add a stupid smiley face or some such.  Criminy.  I like reruns as well as the next guy, but I like new shoes too.  Shows.  Whichever.

Ace; I want to hear more about the guy with the socks.  Did he make puppets?  Was that it?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on May 22, 2004, 08:35 hrs
I think that's in the Re: poast.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 22, 2004, 10:14 hrs
Ok, this has gone on long enough people.

Look; this thing's a dang dead poast.  It started dead, it was even killed by Scuzzy after being born dead and I've worked to kill it and now the dang thing not only perpetuates ad infinitum or carpe diem or veni vedi vici or other Latin which I never took, remember, it is now ranging into other poasts per Ian's reference to "Re:" and, I'm sorry, I for one am not going to go jumping around this thing and that thing looking for this thing there or that thing here like there's going to be a quiz, later.

There isn't, is there?

Well, I should hope not.  Now, as an Undead Poast That Refuses To Die, I'm kinda stuck on how to get rid of it.  I've tried killing it, but, criminy, how do you kill something that's already dead?  Why do you think zombie movies are popular?  Besides most of your coworkers are them?  You know?  It's like trying to make a panda stink.  I mean, how could it be more so, when it already is to the maximum allowed?

So here's my plan:

I, Ace, Jester of The Chatroom LOOKOUT Janitor et al., By The Powers Vested In Me Do Proclaim The Dead Poast

Alive.  

There.  That, I would think, should take care of it.  It's like "Bizzarro Superman."  Do the opposite.  The oxymoron.  We went over that elsewhere.  No, don't go look it up; geese louis, it's not important.  What is is that what was here, ends here.

Ace; I hope that did the trick.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Igloo on May 22, 2004, 11:42 hrs
i am confused, so its not dead, but alive or is it dead but re-surected, so it is now immortal, or is that something else?

???
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 22, 2004, 13:49 hrs
NO IT'S NOT IMMORTAL DANGIT IT'S NOT ABOUT PIZZA NOW WOULD EVERYBODY JUST EVACUATE THE PREMISES AND LET THE DANG THING DIE OR LIVE AND THEN  DIE WHATEVER IT TAKES AND QUIT RETURNING AND QUIT POASTING TO IT AND CONTINUING ITS GOSHFORSAKEN ABOMINATION OF AN EXISTENCE AND QUIT YELLING AT PEOPLE AND

Oh.  Ok.  Alright then.  Just tiptoe out.. don't make a sound.. let it sleep.  Like a panda, 6 feet under, sleeps...  Let the air outta it.  Leave it alone.  There.

Ace; criminy, we could use some rules around here.  And let's have a dang smiley emoticon moratorium.  I mean; who needs a little guy whose head stinks?  ??? what's up with that?

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Igloo on May 23, 2004, 04:22 hrs
so its not immotal, but gaining strenght at every poast?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 23, 2004, 10:34 hrs
Immotal? Immodium?  "T" before "H"?  
This thing needs Van Helsing to come in and end it.  Or at least Wesley Snipes.

Ace; Maybe a good shot of Round-Up.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on May 23, 2004, 13:29 hrs
I don't know what sort of life this poast has, and frankly, if this poast is less than alive, or more than dead, it probably feels like I do right now. That last beer i had last night? The one where I raised it up and tipped you a salute and said, with a slur, "Ace, this one's for you."? Yeah. That one was the one over my limit, and now I'm feeling downright BAD. Hung over. nauseous. ugh.

Travis: You didn't get the Ted nugent thing, because you probably didn't know that Ted Nugent is also known for his highly cool skill as a bow hunter.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 23, 2004, 13:53 hrs
Well; good morning to you.  

We had a housefull yesterday, plus a cooler full.  I went with multiple Coronas.  For better or worse, I really don't get hungover any more.  Or inebriated.  Probably because my alcohol-blood level stays under .15, regardless of consumption.  Also, I did something to my left foot (hey, that was a movie!) and the pain is excrutiating.  So I saluted Canadians after the Coronas, and the ibuprofen.  Thanks for the toast.  That's spelled like "poast."  We figured that out, a long long time ago.

Cool bow hunter?  You tell Bambi's mom...   Ted doesn't like to have an unfair advantage when hunting, so he won't use a gun.  Of course, to be absolutely fair, a hunter should then have to go with teeth and finger nails.

Ace; anyone who isn't feeling too alive is welcome to doze here.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on May 24, 2004, 11:53 hrs
Oh, it was great- right after I was done poasting, I went into the bathroom, and bowed before the mighty porcelain king.
After my amazingly facinating gastric pyrotechnics, I slept for about 5 hours and when I woke up, i was raring to go. Everything was back on track and i was grooving. My computer was bogged down because of all the windows updates, so my Call of Duty mad LAN spree was brutally ended at the wrong end of an mp-44. I showed them what for, though.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 24, 2004, 12:08 hrs
Many's the time I've stopped by to read poasts and felt like throwing up.  I mean, really, some of them make you want to gag.

Well, sure, mostly my own.  But still.

That, or doze off. Usually right in the middle of them.  Or sometimes, while I'm writing them.  There've been occasions where I've come to and wondered where I am... just to find my head resting on the keyboard, and myself staring up at the screen.  If you drool while you sleep it doesn't help the "shift" key, I've found.  And all the poast is is a row of smiley emoticons, stretching across the page.  And I think to myself, "What am I, caught in a Dude poast?" and realize it was just me snoozing away.  It's hard, at that point, to even figure the whole point of the poast I'd started.  Even after, I just can't get it.

ace; I'm a sleep poaster.  That would explain a lot now, wouldn't it?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Mark H on May 24, 2004, 12:32 hrs
Zzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzz. What? I must have fell asleep! How did that happen? It must have been an Ace poast. ;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 24, 2004, 12:41 hrs
Well, howdy Mark, how've ya been?  I can understand that.  We were trying to put this poast out of our misery, so maybe we finally succeeded.

I don't know why there are swarms of bees around your poast... I sure hear them.  But the boring part, sure.  

There's been some criticism made of people who don't say anything and depend on smiley emoticons to convey whatever it was the meant to.  I don't believe in that, myself.  I believe in freedom of speech.  

ACe; speech.  Not the smiley thingy part.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on May 24, 2004, 16:05 hrs
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...I hope this will aid and abet this poast being, once and for all, dead.

Maybe if noone posted here, except for me, this thing would be dead. If someone else poasts after I do, I naturally poast. And the chain goes on...
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on May 25, 2004, 11:57 hrs
Instinctive poasting. Like Pandas that do nothing... instinctively.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 25, 2004, 13:13 hrs
Criminy, Nes, your avatar's a blond joke.  

Here's a symbolic reading of "The Dead Poast" by Travis Goof:

One day Shaun and Ian were walking in the woods and came upon a large smelly panda, which appeared to be either asleep or dead.  Knowing that startling a sleeping panda can result in it not only waking suddenly but also evacuating its own premises, the two lads were careful to tread lightly near the great stinking furball.  Shaun, peering closely at the still contagion, whispered "Ian, we had best walk quickly and quietly away, in case."  Ian nodded, and whispered back "For real.  If it's dead, we sure don't want to be near it, even though a dead panda surprisingly smells better than a live one. And if it isn't dead, we don't want to awaken it in case it's trying to be.  Better we just leave it to its own devices, and eventual demise."  

And so, both of the strapping young lads agreed to let the dead or sleeping heap do whichever it was attempting.  Especially as they knew that, if no others happened upon the scene after them, then it was sure to die and the world would be a better place.

The two then tiptoed down the path, eventually venturing out of sight and sound of the silent ursine.  

They then each grabbed a pointy stick and ran stumbling back to it, at which point they both jabbed it repeatedly.


The End.

Ace; let. The. Dumb. Thing. Die.  Criminy.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on May 25, 2004, 15:03 hrs
Shaun and Ian went back to the rotting carcass that was smelling better and bett  and wondered whether Scuzzy might kill it, since all of their petty attemps were in vain. They had seen him seem to do so before, but, as it turned out, it was as alive as ever, frozen for only a little while. Ahhh, if only Scuzzy had kept it frozen longer

The end.

Could Scuzzy make it die like before or something? Or maybe change it to the vivacious poast and make it die that way. Or maybe you could kill it in the conventional, unmeaning way, Ace...

:)
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 25, 2004, 16:42 hrs
Huh; you said "pretty" and "vivacious."  This has the makings of a pretty good blond(e) joke.  You might be on to something here.

Scuzzy usually has difficulty keeping things frozen, as his refrigerator is out in his yard according to recent photos.  Or "dirtbowl" as it's more commonly referred to.  Unless he gets some really long extention cords, I could see that's going to be a recurring problem.

Is this the dead one or the nothing one?  I forgot to look when I came in.  It's getting harder to tell.  

Ace; I don't know what unmeaning way I don't mean things.  I usually mean to not mean it.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on May 25, 2004, 20:37 hrs
Getting there very quickly...suddenly there's nothing to talk about.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on May 25, 2004, 21:11 hrs
Quote from: Ace on May 25, 2004, 13:13 hrs

Here's a symbolic reading of "The Dead Poast" by Travis Goof:

They then each grabbed a pointy stick and ran stumbling back to it, at which point they both jabbed it repeatedly.

The End.

Ace; let. The. Dumb. Thing. Die.  Criminy.

Well? Did it wake up or what?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 26, 2004, 07:23 hrs
Aw geez, Travis...  It's a DEAD POAST. Criminy; what kind of panda is going to live there?

Fine.  A false ending it was.

It was as alive as ever, like Ian said.  Now, for a panda, that's a relative term.  "Alive" being like in "We strolled up to see Plymouth Rock, down in its pitiful pit, recipient of spit, like a lifeless thing in miniature when one might expect a majestic outcropping on the beach, much as a panda might appear if it was a stand-in for a boulder.  Or, lie-in, as it were.  A day of great activity for a panda is to lie motionless in its own filth and fur, waiting patiently for extinction, feeling bad its blight was put on the world.  That is, if they were smart enough to have a conscience, which they aren't.  Or, if nudged toward mating with another of its species by zoo staff, recoiling in repugnance to the idea of getting close to itself.  Then, lying back down motionless in the worst of places it can find, finding comfort in being in a dump, after having recognizing itself as refuse.

The two looked to kill the foul thing, but then thought to themselves "Why waste two perfectly good pointy sticks on this thing, after all?  I mean, should we kill it, or what?"  At which point they both thought "better to leave sleeping or dead pandas sleep, or die.  Whichever.  Criminy, even when they smell not as much, they still stink.  Let's instead use our pointy sticks to Rid The World Of Crime And Evil, and Chase Poasters Who Include Quotes of Prior Poasts and too Dang Many Smiley Emoticons, Huh!"  And, at that, their quest was on.


Ace; or what.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on May 26, 2004, 09:11 hrs
I look a lot like the guy in my avatar, thank ya thank ya.

Shaun and Ian could both see the ragged breathing of the panda, each wondering how something so huge could smell so foul; and yet be alive.

And yet, off in the distance, they could hear what seemed to be a cross between a plaintive cry for help and some savage suburbanite war cry. They turned as one, just as Ace, the mythical Jester, clad only in corporate logos and sporting a wash instructions tag out of his right ear, crashed headlong into the clearing, brandishing a homemade spear like a cro-magnon neophyte.

He was immediately brought up by the smell, however, and lowered his spear.

"Well, boys... The thing's dead. Nothing could smell like that and live." Ian and Shaun looked at each other doubtfully. Ian seemed about to object, but Shaun forstalled him with a touch to the shoulder.
"Ace, " He began, "This panda, as much as it smells, is alive. It lives as pretty much the same way that your dead poast lives. vainly trying to die, but everyone seems to come visit, and spur it onward. If you want the thing to die, go ahead and use the spear."

He turned to Ian. "Come on, man... This guy wears too many corporate logos... and not enough clothing. Let's go hang out somewhere else... Like Travis's birthday poast!"
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 26, 2004, 12:37 hrs
That oughta killed it.  Criminy, it almost took me out.

Ace; he wishes he had logos. Leggos.  One of them.  Eggos.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on May 26, 2004, 13:45 hrs
Yeah. I'm a poast killer. Not a panda killer.

You WISH i had a logo!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on May 26, 2004, 14:49 hrs
Ah, you wish I wish you had a logo.  

Shoot, most poasts have enough sense to die off all by themselves.  Not like a panda is ever going to come to its senses in that regard.

ACe; I thought it was pretty cool that I got a spear, when all they got were pointy sticks.  It just shows you that credentials count around here.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on May 26, 2004, 15:39 hrs
That's right! Besides, the thought of a suburbanite weilding a neo-phallic representation of his pent up his desire to kill a panda was a mild pun too mild to pass up.  ;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on June 03, 2004, 01:40 hrs
Well, it's about time this stupid poast finally died its final death.

Okay, there's nothing more to see here folks. Move along now. Besides, the smell is getting kinda smelly from smelling bad.

Scuzzy; May as well go home, 'cause I did on my own, alone again, naturally.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on June 20, 2004, 12:26 hrs
SSOO00OO.........


Is it dead yet?


HAHAHAHAAHHHAHAHAHA GOTCHA ALL! I RESSURECTED IT!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 20, 2004, 12:56 hrs
Travis, I found a new group for you.  Maroon 5.

You can be 4 of them.  Criminy.

Ace; it's bad enough he resurrects dead poasts, but he'll probably bring back Scuzzy too.  Noobody needs that.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on June 20, 2004, 13:14 hrs
Sorry to disappoint you, Travis, but it's still a dead poast. Nothing you can do about it.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 20, 2004, 16:03 hrs
YEAH TRAVIS SORRY TO DISSAPOINT DISAPOINT DISSAPPOINT criminy BURST YOUR BUBBLE NECK BUT IT'S DEAD THERE BUDDY SO QUIT POASTING TO THE DANG

thing. Dang. Criminy.

Ace; the 5th maroon. Dangit.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: pat on June 20, 2004, 17:04 hrs
Is that like an element?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 20, 2004, 18:18 hrs
Yeah, I think it is.  Like Neon, with two good toes.  Too.  Toos.

Ace; "Abandon hope, ye whom poast here."   The Undead Poast.  Like trying to kill a stupid Gollum.  And I thought it was weird Niles Crane played the part.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on June 21, 2004, 09:11 hrs
You know Ace, i swear- you gotta track Travis down to keep him from ressurecting dead poasts. beat him with your jester hat. cram a bell up his nose.  poke him in the eye.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 21, 2004, 14:38 hrs
What is it with you and eye poking today?!  Did you just get out of a 3 Stooges film festival or something?  

The dang Jester cap isn't all that threatening, especially after I sat on it.  There's worse places than your nose to get a bell up.  Plus, I don't think I'd like anything festooned with a bell he had in his nose.  It'd probably smell.  Since his nose does.

Ace; I'd sooner track a panda with a spear than Travis on a rampage.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on June 21, 2004, 15:03 hrs
Well, since you asked, I just quit smoking a day or so ago, and I'm really irritable. The typical thing you'd do to rid yourself of withdrawl symptoms is to ingest citrus. But I'm allergic. So i suffer.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 21, 2004, 19:41 hrs
Oh, criminy.  Get over.  It's bad for you, and you'll be glad you're done.  I haven't had a cigarette since the reception at Speedway 3 years ago.  I really like tobacco, but I don't miss it.  Plus, I don't miss smelling like it.  Let it go.  

I had a cigar in October; caught a fierce cold right after, and it was a mess.  None since.  Same thing; let it go.  

Eventually, you won't be so irritable, and will come to like Travis.  Until then, just hang in there.  Find a panda; poke it in the eye.   It's ok; it's why they're here.

Ace; Stuff tastes better if you aren't smoking.  Really.  You smell better if you're not smoking; really.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on June 21, 2004, 23:07 hrs
But ladies and gentlemen, think about how many poor state and federal government employees would lose their jobs without tobacco taxes.  In some states even property taxes would go up if people stop buying tobacco products (can't spel cigarettes).

And, the tobacco companies would not have all that money that allows States' Attorneys General to sue for retribution to use for public education.
Proper and fitting topic for a Dead Poast

Its a built-in mainstay in the nation's economy.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 22, 2004, 07:16 hrs
Well, that's true.  Then eat tobacco.  Kiss your lips away (that's harder than it sounds) but go that route.  It's probably an excellent source of fiber in the diet.

Ace; maybe the farmers could grow Opium poppies instead. Or corn.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on June 22, 2004, 09:24 hrs
Every time I see the word 'luddite' i am drawn back to Stephen King and his depiction of the denizens of Lud, the forsaken city. which makes for an amusing cross-association.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on June 22, 2004, 22:39 hrs
Well would you rather I use Stephen or King?
King is nice, usually a large dog in an old movie or maybe Sky King winging into the night to save the world.  Or, The King, but I can't sing.

Not familiar with Lud, is that somewhere in midwest?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 23, 2004, 07:34 hrs
If we're voting between a Stephen, and a King, I'd say go with King.  We have one king, and he could stand some competition.  

I don't think Lud is in Michiana.  Although we have Amish, who I guess are luddites.  Unless they need to borrow a phone or car in an emergency; then, they're ok with technology.  That's not a religious joke, by the way.  And I want any Amish who may be online to know that.

Ace; I bet Lud is in Michigan.  Sounds like a Michigan town, to me.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on June 23, 2004, 09:05 hrs
Since Lud is fresh out from Dante's Inferno, it must be in Michiana.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 24, 2004, 07:06 hrs
Which level of He*k?  Most of Michiana is 5 or lower, I think.  

Probably some Cruddites in Mishawaka.  Let alone Osceola.  Which I pretty much leave alone.

Ace; you learn a lot of Geography at Poasters.  Or Geology.  Whichever one deals with triangles.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on June 24, 2004, 08:55 hrs
Duder, I read Inferno a Looooooooong time ago. couldn't tellya.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 24, 2004, 20:26 hrs
Well, that's not going to cut it.

Look; you read the thing, albeit awhile back.  Me, I never read it.  So, it's not going to take you as long to re-read it as it would me to read it.  

I think you had best just get back into it, asap.  Let me know what you find out.  I'll busy myself with other things, while you do.  There's no rush, but I don't think you should unnecessarily delay.  Soon as you're done testing, and trying to get an A+, then get back into the Italian Lit thing.  Maybe I'll listen to some Dio; probably the next best thing.

Okay, then.   Soon as you know, poast it here.  Then, we'll be on the yellow sulfur road to Lud.  O-ee-O.  Ee-O-O.

Ace; you'd think he'd have remembered that.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on June 25, 2004, 09:23 hrs
I tell you what: Instead of reading Inferno, you go ahead and see where YOU'RE going!

www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv (http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv)

I made it to the 8th level!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: pat on June 25, 2004, 10:27 hrs
For a modern take on The Divine Comedy, have a look at Inferno by Larry Niven and Jerrry Pournelle. I have an autographed copy, it?s a good read. I believe it?s now out of print, but you may be able to find one at a library or perhaps on E-Bay.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on June 25, 2004, 10:31 hrs
Guys, I think you should move these infernal poasts over to another thread, and, as Ace once said, Let. The thing. Die.

Or you could use malpracticed CPR on it and kill it. Whichever way is fine.

Or you could let it live. I think everyone's fine with that...except for Scuzzy.

I'll have to read that Dante book sometime when I'm about 4 or 5 years older, when I have the true, bona fide time, when Poasters isn't time-wasting enough.

And it isn't. I meant time consuming. Yeah. Poasters is great. :)
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 25, 2004, 12:05 hrs
Ok; look... we're on topic.  We're talking about the dead.  Death.  AFter-death.  Taxes.  Post-life experience.  The light at the end.  The train.

I'm in the 3rd level, I guess.  Funny thing; it made me hungry.  

Ace; I suppose it won't be so bad, since they said there's a doggy to play with.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on June 25, 2004, 12:15 hrs
Only the 3rd level? that's not ... that's nothing! I boo you! Booo, and a third time, boo!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Mark H on June 25, 2004, 12:56 hrs
I guess I was at zero level - purgatory. At least it wasn't indicated as bad.  ;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on June 25, 2004, 14:16 hrs
So I really am the only villainous person.  :o Darn shame.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 25, 2004, 16:38 hrs
I would think you'd at least drop a level below purgatory for taunting people with undelivered margaritas.

I know what Shaun meant to say, too.  People that low wouldn't even say "darn."  

Part of the reason I came out only at the third floor is I lied.  I mean, they oughta factor that in, you'd think, as far as the statistical validity.  I didn't lie on everything; just some of the key ones.  What with morality being relative, and all.  

I did notice they didn't have one for "I have killed several or more people with one of my pointy bladed swords or other weapons of no good, including my feet and/or hands/belt."   My fear is I'm gonna get to the Pearly Gates, and they're gonna have that test.  But, the trick is gonna be that it's the one where you're only directed to put your name on it and turn it in.. if you answer anything you fail for not following directions.  And I'm not gonna catch it.

Ace; criminy.  It'd be my dar* luck.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on June 25, 2004, 17:23 hrs
Oh. OK. I see the connection between the dead poast and inferno, etc.

I mean, this poast is a panda of a poast, right? And pandas go there, right? Ace, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't incorrect me if I'm right. :)
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on June 25, 2004, 19:17 hrs
I'm sorry, Ian, but I gotta tell you you're right.  Hate to do it.  

Pandas would be at the sub-basement under the sub floor under the cellar under the lowest level of perdition.  Down the stairs.  To the left.  They're lower than low.  

Ace; take the stairs, not the elevator.  They go lower.  Then dig a hole.  Then drill.  They're down there.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on July 26, 2004, 17:30 hrs
It's about time this stupid dead poast died. Hmm. Seems I've said that before. Anyway, the dead poast was never intended to come to life in any fashion - Frankenstonian or otherwise. It was born dead, remember?

What a shame, too. Just think of how alive it would have been if it had been alive. Or not dead. Kinda like me.

Where's Ace? I haven't seen him in several weeks. Come to think of it, I've never seen him.

Scuzzy; Great Scot. Scott. Mexican. Whatever.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on July 26, 2004, 17:52 hrs
Now you be careful with the Scots, great or otherwise.  I kinda admire them what with kilts and bagpipes and all.  Sorta pre-technology pants and pipe organs.  Not very PC.
If this poast is dead, a funeral would be fitting.    Maybe the Court Jester would preside over the ceremonies.  He could incant the policeman's name three times who'd then show up and chase everybody away in the name of crowd control.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on July 29, 2004, 07:20 hrs
Ah don whan mah freydom....

Scuzzy, you wouldn't know me if you saw me, let alone if you haven't.  And what the heck would you know about Mexicans, let alone Scotsmen on a horse.  Heck, what would I know about them either, except I've got Coronas in the fridge and I am getting hungry for Don Pablos.  Heck, even Hacienda, if I knew when Pat was there although I wouldn't recognize him anymore than me.

I mean, he than me.  You know what I mean.  

Franken-steen.  Werewolf?  There, wolf....

I will say, for a guy named after his cat, Scuzzy is probably the best one here of controlling the crowd.  And, I know people wonder what they wear under those kilts, but I don't.

Ace; Ah don wahna Gao Thare...

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on July 29, 2004, 13:03 hrs
I am now exercizing (howevuh ya spellit) my right to say that Scuzzy this time was the one who resurrected this poast. Now, everybody back away and

QuoteLet. The thing. Die
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on August 05, 2004, 22:40 hrs
Being to the right of center, I would hate to see anything "die a borning."  Just think of the potential contribution this poast might make to the culture of  Poasters.  Why, some child might wander in here in the future and learn a great deal about humanity or culture or something.

Can't just let it die or get thrown away like some excess embryonic stem cells.  

It's rested a week, probably too strong to die now.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Igloo on August 06, 2004, 14:54 hrs
I got level 8 too
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on August 29, 2004, 15:40 hrs
I've been gone (again) for over a month and this thing hasn't died yet???

KILL IT!

(Or at least, wipe it's chin and stick it in a retirement community)
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on August 30, 2004, 07:25 hrs
I've been gone a day, and now you're back? Your back? Its chin? Cheese.

How's Jaime or Jamie or trav's grandma?   How's your hardware? How's your software?  I add Downy liquid to mine.

Ace; I thought this thing was dead.  Somebody must've wandered in after a month or so and stuck it with a stick and woke it up.  Waked it up.  Awakened it.  Awokened it.  Wacked it.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on August 30, 2004, 08:11 hrs
I must confess. It was a panda, they seem to be drawn to old, stinky things.
Birds of a feather....
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on August 30, 2004, 18:58 hrs
Sheesh, ThaG. It was dead until you resurrected it. Who will be the next one to resurrect this poast after it has been dead for another month? Ace? Lud? Andrew? Jim?

Once again, after giving it a parting something, I'm not sure what, maybe a push into the dumpster or coffin, whatever the case may be,

Quote
Let. The Thing. Die.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on August 31, 2004, 07:19 hrs
I thought feather boas were creepy, but a feathered panda would have to be worse.

If people would just realize that it would go away if they wouldn't pick at it, this thing would be gone.  They just have to ignore it, and it will keel over all by itself.  Just don't look at it, think about it, and by all means don't poast to it.  It will end.  You just need to not

oh.  Sorry.

Ok, then.  Back to the Funny Bone!  Where's the dang door...

ace; Oughta call it the Elbow Room.  We need more of that, here.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on August 31, 2004, 12:16 hrs
Well..ok, yes, i shall try to refrain from using slimeys.....smileys, smileys arent good on your Resume For Being A Jester At Poasters (BAJAP)..


But, neither is listening to Rush,  I guess...I Gotta learn stuff from Ace.


Crimminy.

Trav; Im looking for a new job, I dont like xTreme Poaster anymore.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 01, 2004, 07:36 hrs
Crimminy?  Criminy, that was from "Crimm-crimminy, crimm-crimminy, crimm crimm, caree... a something chimney sweep something" or other from that old movie.

Sorry to hear you have to learn stuff from me.  That's a raw deal.  Good luck on that one.

I suppose you could delete some poasts, and not be xTreme any more.  Except you might lose a star or two, in the process.  Hopefully you won't pick up any twitchy blinking ones.... I know how the admin likes to slip those in, when you're not looking.

Ace; that's why I'm always looking.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on September 01, 2004, 19:12 hrs
Quote from: Ace on September 01, 2004, 07:36 hrs


I suppose you could delete some poasts, and not be xTreme any more.  Except you might lose a star or two, in the process.  Hopefully you won't pick up any twitchy blinking ones.... I know how the admin likes to slip those in, when you're not looking.

Ace; that's why I'm always looking.


Ahh...yeah, sorry about that, its true that i havent deserved my status. I should delete the "one-linders" and "smiley" poasts...sorry about that really. No harm done?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 02, 2004, 07:37 hrs
Well, who does deserve their status, really.

Scuzzy acts as sherriff, sheriff sherrif town marshall and appliance mover, but it's not like his cat deserves all that attention.

Neon goes to trade shows impersonating William Shatner, but it's not like the Trekkies appreciate it.

Ludd can diagnose the human condition, plus pose hypothetical rhetorical questions that probe blonddom, but that doesn't mean blondes get it.

I went to Hacienda in Elkhart and that doesn't mean I deserved the free margarita I did not get from Pat there.

ThaG comes and goes as he pleases, but that doesn't mean he's earned the right to be called Shawn.

Karen and Carol and Carsick are down in temperate and scenic Florida, but that doesn't mean they deserve the status of "Residents of the State Most Likely To Get The Cr)*# Kicked Out Of It By Aberrant Weather Systems Every Few WEeks".

JimS are out there blasting blond(e)s, of which you apparently aren't one, even though you think so, while Wade is, but his car isn't, so... well, I don't know on that one.

And I don't deserve to live in Infamy as the Jester, even though I've earned that right.  So, all in all, I'd say Pete deserves his status as Purveyor Of The Great Monkey Joke and that's about it, for this crowd.

Ace; the legend of the thick-legged UPS woman was a myth, though, I think.



Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 02, 2004, 08:29 hrs
Not even Price Line appreciates Willam Shatner any more.
Objection, your Honor....

Denny Crane.

If we really received (i before e, except after c")
what we deserved, we'd be back talking about the levels of the Inferno.  Except of course for Ace, he gets what he deserves, 3 malfunctioning stars and a hat full of bells that let you know when he is coming around the bend.


Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 02, 2004, 19:17 hrs
Dangit, Ludd, you completely lost me there and usually I do that myself.  I'm thinking "Denny Crane... who the heck is Denny Crane.. I know that name... was that the guy in Hogan's Heroes?... "  So I looked it up and thought "D'Oh!" That Denny Crane.  Criminy.

Maybe Scuzzy can make up a tune with "He'll be coming 'round the chatroom, when he comes..."  I guess hearing a dingaling before I appear is appropriate.   I haven't been on a bender, for awhile.

Ace; "for whom the bells toll".. bell tolls....
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 02, 2004, 22:53 hrs
Must be a first! A reference so obscure and trivial even Ace was stumped.  
Thats as good as it gets!
Jack

Is Scuzzy a gifted musician or ...?
I thought he gave away used stuff like Citations and appliances.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 03, 2004, 07:07 hrs
No, Scuzzy isn't a gifted musician.  Or magician.  Neither.  

He isn't anything, usually.  Including "here."

He's a constable on patrol and a constant reminder of why I'm not.  Who.  Where.  When.  What.  All of those, not.

He tried a rhyme once, about myself, back in the golden days of the chatroom.  I retorted with an iambic pentameter ode to his cat.  It went downhill from there.  We didn't have smileys back then to convey our true emotions... just hand-drawn ones, as primitive glyphs of our inner beings.

:^{0

He doesn't give away anything...  The yard's full of appliances for that reason.  You'd think he'd try a yard sale.  Of course, if he sells the yard, he wouldn't have any place to put them.

Ace; who's Jack?  I don't know Jack.  

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on September 03, 2004, 14:43 hrs
Well, even so...this doesnt relate to Scuz, but I WANT TO BE A JESTER!!!  :P
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: pat on September 03, 2004, 14:53 hrs
Quote from: trav on September 03, 2004, 14:43 hrs
I WANT TO BE A JESTER!!!  :P

I can only think of one possible response to that.

Why?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on September 03, 2004, 15:34 hrs
Quote from: trav on September 03, 2004, 14:43 hrs
Well, even so...this doesnt relate to Scuz, but I WANT TO BE A JESTER!!!  :P

You can't. As a rule, jesters don't normally use smilies.  :-X
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 03, 2004, 16:53 hrs
Well, as a rule, Jesters don't follow rules, either.

But Scuzzy's right about the smiley thing.  We abhore smileys.  Abhorr? Abwhore?  (ABwhoreAaware, by Lavvahot, makers of AdAwarn; it will remove those pesky tramps from the sidewalk outside your XP Home...)Mostly because it took me I mean us about a year and a half here to even figure out how to work them.  Plus, being as wordy as we tend, we're not about to use some dang simplistic yellow grinning bulb emoticon thingy when perfectly good words would do.  Or even not so perfectly words.

And to reinforce Pat's sentiments; really.  Whattya, nuts?

And criminy, Trav, you had your chance.  I gave you the keys to the dang jingling cap when I took off back around Easter.  I said, here you go, go be the stinking jester.  And you balked.  And then, you said you would.  That would be the mistake.  It was a trick question, see?  If you hadn't agreed to do it, then you could have.  But since you said you would, that proved you weren't yet appropriate for the role.  So you weren't allowed.  Aloud.

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.  That would not be you.  At least not yet.  Nyet  That would be me.  I know the pitfalls, the stopgaps, the ins and outs, the foibles, the roller coaster ride of emotions being Jester entails.  

I also know there isn't a stupid key to the cap.  Geez Louise, pay attention.   You gotta start learning this stuff if you're ever going to step in as the Resident Fool.

And, less anyone forget, people here may act foolishly at times, or daily, but there's only one Full Fool on the premises.  

Ace; the fool who's full of it.  Foolery.  Fooly full.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 04, 2004, 23:14 hrs
Well, let's get one thing perfectly clear: I don't want to be the Jester, or the janitor.  Much too much work, the pay stinks and I hate hats with bells.

Not fond of over zealous admins. either.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 05, 2004, 09:52 hrs
Well, now, hold on just a minute there.

(I said that with a Jimmy Stewart accent).

I'M a dang administrator... it says so on my badge, right by my twitching freaking stars.  I am a Full Fool Administrator.  And I approach my job with GREAT ZEAL.

I am as zealous as anyone.  People get jealous because I'm so zealous.  I am a zealot from the word "go."

Go on.. someone say "go."  I'll show ya.

I bolt from my desk and hurl from my chair and leap from my feet just to proclaim the Good News Of Jesterdom.  And, yes, that's how you spell "dom".  Dangit.

I go whole hog and full force and full speed and low bandwidth (I'm on  dial up, you know) and no holds are barred and all systems are go.  I can jest till the cows come home.  

Plus, if we'd just add an administrator whose sole function is to keep kids out we could get away with a lot more stuff.  Just card them, check ID's, send the little ones outside to play.

I know we might lose Trav in the process, but that's the price you pay for adults-only pay for poast.  You win some, you lose some.

Personally, I'll miss Travis... I missed ThatFridayGuy for awhile, too, until he came back.  But now that he's left again I miss him, again.

Ok; then.  Zeal is Good.  Heck, it rhymes with "veal" and that's good.  

Ace; Zeal; it's the Real Deal
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 05, 2004, 23:29 hrs
Not going to say"g-", I'm afraid what  your reaction might be.  Certainly would want you to "g-"as in out the door, or as in "leave".  Then you'd have to come back.

Some zealots make the world go around.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 06, 2004, 10:01 hrs
Well, no.  I wouldn't expect you to say "g".  

As far back as I can remember, I don't recall any poaster ever saying "g."  If I drink a corona fast, I sorta go "g g g g g g."  But not just one "g."  Maybe if I slice a golf ball and see if heading for the railroad tracks, I'd go "g."  Usually, then, I'd follow with (##)(!!%&@.  

Shoot, I shoulda asked Buffalo to step in and say "!(@Y@^^$$" for me.  Dangit.

I think maybe one time Trav had a poast that went
g :-* ;D :D
but it might have been k  :o ;) :) instead.

"K" is more used, as by teenagers expressing acceptance. "g" is just more of a guttaral hitch.  I pronounce it "guh" with the tongue doing the pop on the soft palate.  I like pop on my soft palate, but corona more.

Ace; I haven't studied linguistics for years.   :-\ I still don't care for smileys, much.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 06, 2004, 12:57 hrs
I'm finally back from gallavanting around the wilderness for five or so days, and I came back with a FranklinCovey planner. Wish it was computerized, as I now am renting a Palm Zire 72. Ah well. I guess I'll just have to take the planner to class every Thursday until the next break (this is a break day). Unfortunately, the computerized version I think costs a bunch, probably even with the school discount that I'd get. It also doesn't work except with Outlook, and I consider Outlook malicious bloatware (I use Palm Desktop), so I wouldn't be able to use it anyway the way I'd want.

As to Trav being a jester, let him for a few days. Give him the title "Jester's apprentice", show him the caveats of being a jester, give him a carbon copy of your life. Except maybe not for the shoes and the cap. That'd hurt.

Well, gotta go. It's luch. I record-broke on typing this one (upwords, er, upwards, of 80 wpm, maybe even 110). But it still wasn't enough to cram everything I wanted to say into the small period of time I had to say it...so so long, and Custard-style Yoplait yogurt is the best...
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 06, 2004, 13:53 hrs
Well, yes, if you're going to leave out letters of course you can type fast.  Maybe after luch you can have dinr.  Criminy.

I agree on the custard Yoplait.  It is.

Look; nobody is gonna carbon date my life.  Criminy, we don't have the time.  The shoes don't hurt that much; as long as you get them so the curve is past your toes, and not "on" them.

Now, Scuzzy's shoes would hurt.

If Trav wants the key to the cap, it's his.  I wonder if Stephen Covey uses a FranklinCovey planner.  I guess.

Ace; I'm gonna go galavanting in the wilderness too, first drive off the fairway.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 06, 2004, 21:59 hrs
He probably has all four types of planners, from the huge bumbly Monarch (come on now, Monarch Computer, sue them ;)) to the teeny pocket version. I have the compact version. Of course, It'd be nice to have a computerized version, but outlook has too mny bugs to use instead of even a monarch ;). As you can see, I use Palm Desktop for my palm, not Outlook. Gotta go now.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 06, 2004, 22:45 hrs
'K, ian said "go". Be zealous or a zealot or a Yopliat, just don't be custer, he was shot by Indians.  Was that in Indiana?

What have you against emoticons ???
Some folks use them all the time ;D
And some folks use a lot of them-

I  think we don't need any more monkey jokes or monkeys right now.
geez, Crikey
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 07, 2004, 07:31 hrs
Monkey jokes are dead, in a dead poast.

Hey; dead monkey jokes!  Those are the best.  I wish we had monkey emoticons; see no/hear no/say no/spell no... the whole group.  Even smell no and get your dang hands I mean paws off no.

I don't actually eat Yoplait.  Just, if I did, I'd choose the custard kind.  And, no, Custer didn't go down in Indiana.  First thing is, it's hard to find a hill to hide behind.  Secondly, we marched all the original Hoosiers I mean Indians outta here.  One of those death march things, that the welcoming committee threw together when they moved in.  That's why we have a Pottawattami Park but no Pottawattamis in great numbers.  Although they did a pow wow this weekend.  I'm against death marches, at least in principle, unless it's used for pandas.  For them, run'em right off a mountain side.  Just warn the people below first.

I don't use the Monarch for planning.  At work, I usually use the agenda from the meeting for making notes.  Then I lose it.  Or Post-It notes; I'll plan on those, and slap them around.  The rest I just keep in my head, instead of an electronic device.  You can imagine how slow downloads are, for me.

Ace; I know, I don't use technology often or well.  And, no, I'm not going to call myself a "l....."   Not when somebody else already took the name.  I call myself a bunch of things, but that one's reserved.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on September 07, 2004, 10:28 hrs
Kill this thing dead. NOW.

Hi! I'm back but gone again, until friday. Wute! as we say in the biz, because it's not n00bish or 1337 like w00t or woot.

ThatGuy; wute, don't pollute.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 07, 2004, 21:00 hrs
Well, I personally like Woot.  I mean, Teen Girl Squad says "Woot" and Wade said "Woot" and that's goot enough for me.

Sehr Gut means "my gut" I think.

You know, I've heard of 6 pack abs, but my brother in law must be going for a pony keg.

Ace; this poast can't die, because we won't let it.  We're like the mortician that keeps going "HEY!  WAKE UP!  HEY!!"
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 07, 2004, 22:51 hrs
Woot is good.  Its almost a top line word, but it isn't.  If it were, it would be "2995".  Now if those were letters it'd be a top line word.  
Crikey.

There is nothing wrong with calling yourself "l.....", or "el" or "ell" for that matter.  'Course what the connection is between not using technology and calling yourself "el" is beyond me. But then, a lot is.

Some technology just doesn't work for some people, or vice versa.  Kinda like the "Peter principle".  Hey if Post-It Notes suffice why use a mainframe?

Ever wonder what will happen to all the paper clips in the world when everything is really paper-less?  Same thing happened to banking pins?

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 08, 2004, 07:34 hrs
Microsoft tried to introduce an electronic paperclip into the paperless computer environment...  a sorta cartoon-talking-helpful little paperclip.

I slammed the cloying helpful little jerk with my fist.

Then I got the new monitor, and learned to right-click and hide him.  I hope he's hiding where pandas hide, as they await death.

As far as Peter, I'm pretty sure I've reached my level of incompetence in all manner of things.  I think being called El is kinda cool, though.  Especially if the El is followed by Conquistador.  I could go for that.

You'd think people would try to stick up banks with bank pins, so maybe that's why there aren't any around.

Ace; I gotta remember that when 2995 comes around.  It's gonna be a big year, apparently.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 08, 2004, 09:04 hrs
"El  Conquistador", as in conqueror, master, victor, winner?  
More likely "El Farceur" !

Or "El Jester" def2.:One who subverts convention or orthodoxy or varies from social conformity.... who typically demonstrates an outspoken passion against the continuing existence of pandas or other stinky creatures.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 08, 2004, 17:49 hrs
Or Le Jester.  I took French, so that's ok too.  I gotta look up "farceur".  I hope that isn't some gastronimical distress reference...  I don't think I'd care to be referred to, as that, then.

I like being Unorthodox.  If it was still the Olympics, I'd try for Greek Unorthodox.

Ace; or geek unorthodox, here.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 08, 2004, 22:30 hrs
Given your mastery of BIOS  and other assorted high tech planning technology, I think "geek", in this context, doesn't apply very well.

"gastronimical" ???  Sounds like something that should be referred to Buffalo in his new role as avante garde poaster of risky stuff.

Le Farceur sounds perfect.
Even that looks like a keyboardo- borrowing a Jesterism!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 09, 2004, 07:34 hrs
That's what makes me an Unorthodox Geek.  I am the anti-geek.  I am so far from a geek, I'm a ... a keeg.  As Trav would spell, staring into his mirror.

And look, dangit, the dang Bios mishap only happened that one time.  It was a long time, as it turned out.  I mean, if they don't want you to play around in there, they oughta lock the dang keyboard when it boots, you know?  I tried to flash it, even, but then figured I oughta quit because I had the shutters open on the window over my computer desk.  It's a sorta faux Scandinavian computer desk, if I hadn't mentioned previously.  But it was nice of you to say I've mastered that thing I do with the BIOS when things are working pretty well and I decide to change them.   This week, I spent an hour downloading the latest nVidia drivers from their site.  And then found my Links 2003 game wouldn't play at all, as the monitor stuck on some bizarre resolution it couldn't, and I couldn't get INTO the game to change its video setup... And Madden 2003 looked worse.  So I rolled back to the previous ones, and it's ok.  

The used to make Avantis in South Bend.  And they had guards at the Studebaker plant.

Maybe Buffalo could poast something really risque, or risky, here, and kill this poast.  That'd be a two-fold accomplishment.  Probably his poasting future, too, but somebody's gotta step up and take one for the home team on occasion.  If he gets banned for it, we can do a commemorative series of poasts like "Where'd Buffalo go? Huh." or "Was Buffalo the same as Bubba?" or "Are Igloo and Iansl the same person(s)?" or "How many dang JIms are there, anyway?" or "Why would someone name their cat 'Buffalo'...?" and wish him well.

Well.

I like coming here, because you never know what's next.  It's like a Restaurant (French) where you might get soup for breakfast, or ham and macarroni on your grilled cheese, or the french fries (not French) dumped in your lap.  Who can say?

Ace; I think gastronomical is a combination of gas, and astronomical.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 09, 2004, 11:59 hrs
Well they needed guards to protect the award winning style-certainly borrowed from plans from  a WWI torpedo.  Avantis, P1800s, gull-wing Delorens. ah, those were the days, to quote Mr. Bunker.  Speaking of gas-

I am glad to hear you were able to get the drivers resolved.  Otherwise we'd be going through another series of "Where's ACE?" - enough already.
American fries, or deep fried fries or "chips" if you will, if you please but not in my lap, thankyou.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on September 09, 2004, 12:44 hrs
Quote from: pat on September 03, 2004, 14:53 hrs
Quote from: trav on September 03, 2004, 14:43 hrs
I WANT TO BE A JESTER!!!  :P

I can only think of one possible response to that.

Why?



Because...uhhh.....you know? I dont know...heh heh heh......Crimminy..... Im trying to lay off of the smilies as well, so thats good!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on September 09, 2004, 12:55 hrs
And, thats not true, Scuzzy,

Quote from: Ace on July 16, 2002, 21:28 hrs
:P


:o !! :P
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on September 09, 2004, 12:59 hrs
Quote from: Ace on September 05, 2004, 09:52 hrs

Personally, I'll miss Travis... I missed ThatFridayGuy for awhile, too, until he came back.  But now that he's left again I miss him, again.


"I'll"? Does that mean its happening??


Nooo! :o! If i left, or had to leave, id be soo sad! I'd miss all of you! :(
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 09, 2004, 15:16 hrs
Oh, and we would miss your smiling face.

Faces.

too.

Ace; we would.  ;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on September 09, 2004, 16:05 hrs
Dangit, shoot, criminy, and gorsh! Can't you let this thing die?

ThatGuy1079; I'm sounding like Ace, now.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: pat on September 09, 2004, 16:15 hrs
Thank You
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 09, 2004, 16:53 hrs
Oh, and THAT was worth going to Page 5.

Dangit; what hath Scuzzy wrought?

Ace; stupid dead dang poast.  Probably gonna beat the pizza poast, after all.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on September 09, 2004, 16:58 hrs
You're not cool enough to top the pizza poast.

But, hot and piping would sure do it well. Not dead and cooling.

ThatGuy1079; This thread is a panda of a Poast.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on September 09, 2004, 17:23 hrs
"I'll", "Will", its all adding up :'(


I dont want to leave Poasters!! Please! Dont make me leave!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: pat on September 09, 2004, 18:28 hrs
Hold on there Travis. Don?t get in a hurry and keep the horse in front of the cart.
Don?t read more into a poast than is there. You?re not going anywhere unless you choose to do so.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 09, 2004, 21:13 hrs
Geez Criminy, Travis.  Calm down, willya?!  Nobody said you're going anywhere.  Geez Dangit, you're usually not even here to depart.  

I take it back.  I won't miss you.  There; you happy now?

Plus, I didn't even know you own a horse.  Heck, if I had a horse, I probably wouldn't hang around online much either.  I'd be riding that puppy.

Well, horse.  It'd be sorta cruel to ride a puppy.

I would disagree with Pat, though, as far as reading into a poast more than is there.  I mean, some of these, you pretty much have to add something from your imagination.  If you just took them literally, they're sorta mundane, you know?  Mine especially.  I would encourage everyone to read a LOT more into my poasts than is there.  At face value, they sorta have a "bulb in the neck", you know?

Thag, who the heck are you talking to, the poast...?!?,,?  Geez, I can see reading into them, but don't put words in their mouths.  Mouth.  Singular or plural, either way.  Trav needs to cool down, the poast is heating up, and everyone should listen to Pat, 'cuz he's an Administrator.

Hey, hold on a minute.  I'm a dang Fool Administrator.

Well, ok, like I was saying, listen to Pat.  And be cool, like ole 1079 says.

Ace; Thank you.  No idea for what.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on September 10, 2004, 16:05 hrs
Whew! Right on!


:)


Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 11, 2004, 07:08 hrs
Trav, when you're happy we're happy.  :D

Sheesh. :-X

Actually, when I'm miserable, Scuzzy's happy.  

Ace; left off.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 11, 2004, 09:22 hrs
Guys, I must say that I'm not Igloo. We're "across the pond" from each other, as you may be able to see by out spelling differences of color ;).

And I also must say that I've had so much homework lately that I havne't really had the time to go online much at all, unfortunately much less to Poasters. But now is the weekend and I'm backfor about 5 minutes, after which I'll work on Spiritual Leadership homework.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 11, 2004, 09:38 hrs
Well Geez Louise, Iggy, we know you're not

ok.  Hold it.  Lemme look at that again..

Huh. Well.

Alright, hey Iansl!  Nice to see ya!  Hope your side of the pond is well.  Good.  Good, and well.  Good ol' pond.

Heh; that reminds me of that joke of the Jims, where the blonde is on one side and yells at the blonde on the other side, and she says "you are on the other side!"

One of a million, that joke was.

Anyway, if anyone is gonna poast anything off-colour, then you need to get Buffalo in here.  He'll do it.  Maybe an off-color blonde joke, where she's really a brunette.

Well, no, I guess then that wouldn't be a blonde joke, would it.  Ok, I'll leave it to Buffalo to come up with something clever.  And Ian can lead us in a prayer or some spiritual uplifting.  Or a good religious joke; criminy, we haven't had one of those for awhile.  Wish Jims would try one of those again.

Ace; I'm glad my weekends are longer than 5 minutes.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 11, 2004, 09:42 hrs
Mine is, too. And I may decide to do Lit homework first. And my side of the pond is your side :)
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 11, 2004, 10:44 hrs
I just mowed the grass, so hopefully you'll pick up the limbs and other yard waste on our side of the pond.

Let me know if you can use any help with Literature; heck, I was an English major.  Scuzzy will probably appear, even if he did kill this poast, and say something smart alexy like "couldn't make to colonel, huh."  People can usually tell I majored in English by my poasts, as I typically use English in them.

The homonym thing stumps me, while keyboarding, but otherwise I can usually stick to the vocabulary.  You know, after reading so dang many books in college, usually the night before I had to, I don't even care to read books much anymore.  Magazines work fine for my attention span, and fit in the magazine holders in each bathroom quite well.

We should yell at igloo "Hey, you ARE on the other side!" sometime.

Ace; glad you're on my side.  I could use more people on my side.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 11, 2004, 15:19 hrs
Okay. Ya know C.S. Lewis's An Experiment In Criticism{/i}? I need to glean from hat 15 to 20 guidelines for reading well ::)
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 11, 2004, 21:32 hrs
[Q} No (R/$|}

I did read Moby Dick in one night.  The whale wins.

Ace; "Call me, Ishmael.  Anytime... day or night."
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 11, 2004, 22:17 hrs
Well, I got that done. Now for a historyy position paper, but that'll have to wait till tomorrow.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 11, 2004, 22:42 hrs
Hey Ishmael, are you certain you are (were) an English major.  Several of your poasts lately certainly sounded otherwise;

"El  Conquistador", "gastronimical", and "(French)" just to cite a few.  

How you made it past sergeant is a puzzel.

But almost everyone is on your side, 'cept maybe the dead monkeys - and pandas.

Someone alert the admins, we are about ready for Page 6.

Oh, I forgot you are an admin.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 12, 2004, 08:26 hrs
That's ok, because I forget it too.

I have trouble spelling "sergeant" and "sheriff". Heck, I have problems spelling English.

We have to wait for Pat to extend it to 6 pages with some pithy comment like "Thank you" or 'Hello" or "What margarita" or "Cheese is good" or some such.  Criminy, he's gotten as terse as Trav, but without the  :D to punctuate it.

Ace; isn't it a pithy
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: pat on September 12, 2004, 08:43 hrs
Terse?
Hmm, short and sweet perhaps, but not terse.

Ok you want that margarita? How about once a week, every month on the eighth day of the week.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 12, 2004, 10:25 hrs
Well, I've never seen you so I don't know how short or sweet you are.  I'm more the tall and sour type.  

I don't think I could do margaritas that often.  I had a 6 pack of Heineken while watching ND yesterday, so right now the Folgers French Roast is fine.

Hey... Ludd may be on to something, there.  Maybe those 5 years of French in grade school are coming back.

Non.

Ace; Monsieur Le Jestere.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 13, 2004, 22:27 hrs
Well it looks like the Power Vest accomplished what scuzzy set out to do.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 14, 2004, 07:39 hrs
Really.  For most of the last 24 hours I think I killed every living poast, in both rooms.  Even stalled out the hardware discussion zone for about 6 hours.  It was starting to concern me; I thought I closed down the whole chatroom for a banker's holiday or something.

I'm glad you and Buffalo and Carsick showed up, to bring it back to life.

Of course, now I've repoasted, and so have rekilled the same poasts, again.  This is kinda like "Blade; Trinity".  I mean, how many times can you kill a dead thing to make it stay dead....

Ace; quite a few, apparently.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 14, 2004, 22:30 hrs
Looks like you did it!

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 15, 2004, 06:56 hrs
Thank You


Ace; geez, now I'm quoting Pat.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: pat on September 15, 2004, 08:05 hrs
Worse things than that could happen.
You might find yourself quoting a bunch of smilies.
Oh, the humanity.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 15, 2004, 08:17 hrs
But then you'd be quoting Trav.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 15, 2004, 08:50 hrs
You mean like:
"
I DON'T REALLY HAVE TO LEAVE DO  :-\I???? I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE!!!!! :'( :'( ::) CANT I JUST STAY A WHILE LONGER??@!!!

I'm gonna miss you guys.  Hey wait, I have my own chatroom.  I CAN BE THE JESTER THERE ALL BY MYSELF!! :D!
"

Ace; emphasis on "all by myself"
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 15, 2004, 12:46 hrs
LOL, Yes, that was exactly what I had in mind!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 15, 2004, 17:56 hrs
Our viewers may find this hard to believe, but I actually created that parody of Travis from memory; I did not look back over any of his poasts, to copy or quote them.

Who could imagine.

Travis, if you're out there; you know we love you.   :-*

Scuzzy; this dead poast is going right off the cliff.  It has a life of its own.

Ace; it's bigger than Ohio
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 15, 2004, 22:31 hrs
'bout the same size as Ivan with an equal amount of hot air.

;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 16, 2004, 22:15 hrs
This thing dead yet?  I stayed away all day, and it looks like it finally dozed off.

Since I hope to go to New Orleans someday, I'm glad it's still there.  And didn't become the "Louisiana Aquarium."  My dad used to vacation in Alabama on the gulf, so I guess those guys woulda just as soon the bag of wind had sunk Nawlins.

I typed that with a cajun accent.  

You know, New Orleans has a lot of French influence, and even French quarters.  I'd probably fit right in.

Ace; if it wasn't dead, I probably just took care of it, regardless.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 16, 2004, 22:47 hrs
Well actually, Nawlins is the home of my oldest, a high school teacher who lives in the Quarter.  Just as glad it didn't become the Aquarium, then she'd have to switch teachin' from History to Marine Science.

You get down there, y'all be careful, 'cuz parkin' meters don't take no French quarters.  And the NOPD jest luvs writin' them citations.

Y'all pay the fine or work the time, one.

Scuzzy would feel right ta home.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 17, 2004, 08:00 hrs
Well, yeah, if he's still giving away Citations.  Although there sure aren't many on the road.

I sympathise with her being a high school teacher, and honor that calling, having been trained in that myself.  And my brother was a History major, although I have no idea why.  It's not like his memory is all that good.

Ace; I couldn't wait to get out of high school, then I couldn't wait to get back in.  What a maroon.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 17, 2004, 08:41 hrs
Aside from weathering (pun intended) the storms and floods, the biggest adjustment was getting used to having some freshman- or must I say 9th graders- who are older than the 1st or 2nd year teachers.  Odd place, that.  

Are you always purple?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 17, 2004, 15:28 hrs
No, I'm a maroon.  And pretty much colorless, most days.

Ace; I guess having seniority as a freshman would be beneficial.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 17, 2004, 17:09 hrs
While we're guessing, seems the humour has fled.

Must have been the Blond(e) jokes; just pure overkill.  Drove all the rest of the jokers (not jesters) elsewhere.  Or, maybe all the dead pandas and monkeys.

I've often wonered what a panda did to you to create such a fervor.  Now me, I hate slugs.  Slimy, filty, crawly things, followed closely by sloths, three-toed, tree climbing or otherwise.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 17, 2004, 17:29 hrs
Have you ever seen the skeleton of the giant sloth at the Smithsonian Natural History museum in DC?  That thing is awesome, and frightening.

I hate slugs too.  The other day I found an angel statue fell over outside, and I picked her up and she had little slugs stuck to her face and wings...  It creeped me out.  I picked them off and hurled them.  Where we used to live, we had slugs that would appear on our back porch at night; the full size ones.  Usually, I'd scoop them with a flyswatter and send them flying into the bushes.  Or neighbor's garage.  They don't take a hit, and keep on ticking...

I don't know where everybody is, either.  I like the idea of blaming the Jims for it, though.

Ace; better than me.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 17, 2004, 17:57 hrs
Okay, my bro just notified me that pandas just sit by streams and eat bamboo. Nice for zoos, but yeah, the cuddly black-and-white animals may stink from this, and they seem to have no purpose in life. Although they probably do. Except as of yet nbeither me nor Ace nor maybe lud can see it.]

Oh and I'm listening to Good Day Sunshine (Beatles). I can't stand anything more "Rocky" than Neil Diamond, so this fits in fine.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 17, 2004, 18:29 hrs
Well, I guess they also sit on the mountain side, and eat bamboo.
For awhile.
Until they're no longer sitting, but rolling.
"Eating Bamboo, lying about listlessly, stinking up the place, and having an impossible time figuring conjugal relations in captivity."  I'd say that pretty much sums of the essence of pandas.

Speaking of which, that is one smelly essence.  They are the only animal that smells better dead.

Ace; stinking bamboo inhaling stink traps.  Oh, and it's a good day's sunshine glimmering off our side of the pond.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 18, 2004, 23:02 hrs
A new perfume - Essence of Dead Panda-

Maybe the Admins could interest Chanel or Elizabeth Taylor in a licensing deal?

Now there's a proxy for a panda-
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 19, 2004, 11:07 hrs
I think Elizabeth Taylor is starting to resemble a panda... Maybe that's why Michael Jackson is fond of her.

White Diamonds before pandas are like pearls before swine.  Actually, I like pork before lunch.

Ace; dead poast, dead meat.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 20, 2004, 08:52 hrs
Actually, Taylor and pandas look remarkably alike if you switch from AA 4x to AA 0x!

"I try not to drink too much...." "I'm not leaving here until someone comes up to get me."
Elaine
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 20, 2004, 18:45 hrs
Benis?  Criminy, I have a hard time keeping up with you.

When I'm talking to myself, it's pretty easy, because usually I can tell where I'm going with something.  But Ludd throws me a curve, and I'm more of a fastball hitter.

Well, slowball hitter.

Well, T-Ball hitter.  

But even then, those things can be tough...  

I'd like to be a catcher in a T-Ball game.  I bet I'd be dang good.

Ace; dangit.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 20, 2004, 22:29 hrs
If you'd pass on Jeopardy or Wheel  for the really important stuff like Sunday night's Emmys.....

She was the only awardee that took advantage of the 5 second delay, and at 79!

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 21, 2004, 15:15 hrs
Elaine Strich. Oh. Huh.  Her I have no idea who she is.

I don't get HBO, so no idea what that show is.  Did watch some of the Emmys, but criminy it seemed lame.  Rushed, uninteresting...  

I think shows that aren't on network (mainstream) tv should have a separate category.  Putting the Sopranos or Sex and the City up against Joan of Arcadia or West Wing makes no sense to me.  They just aren't comparable, by format or delivery.

Glad you gave a hint; I was gonna say "No Way is Elaine Benis 79....!"

Ace; antenna head.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 21, 2004, 22:41 hrs
You're right, they were slow and boring.

If by "delivery" you mean the quality and content of the language, hey man, gotta keep it real.

Now, Elaine who?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Munki on September 22, 2004, 03:52 hrs
A drunk stumbles out of a bar and he makes his way into the cemetery behind
the tavern. He walks right to the edge of a freshly dug grave, loses his
balance and falls in.

There's a puddle of water in the hole, and he spends the rest of the night
yelling, "Help me, I'm cold! Someone help me, I'm cold!"

At closing time, another drunk walks behind the bar and hears the noise. He
gets to the open grave, looks down and says, "Of course you're cold, you
idiot, you kicked all the dirt off yourself!"
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 22, 2004, 07:43 hrs
Cemetaries scare me.  We once had a group of poasters wander off to a cemetary...  But a good topic for a dead poast.

No, Ludd, I meant "unavailable to people whom use an antenna for their reception."  I don't have satellite or cable, and so no HBO.  Or 57 channels with nothing on.  Just the usual 6.  I enjoy language, in its entire myriad of colors.  And off color.  

Hey, hear about the corpse who dyed her hair blonde?  Dyed... heh.

Ace; ok, that's enough.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 23, 2004, 23:26 hrs
I had to check - the pizza poast went seven pages and even includes some who seem to be missing.
I think we are all still here, at least for now.

Could you ask Trav to poast some more here or maybe one of the admins, sorry, one of the other admins could change the page numbers?  

Not quite ready to let the Dead Poast lie still.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 24, 2004, 07:22 hrs
How many pages is this one, now?

Ace; just tryin' to help.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 24, 2004, 08:53 hrs
I'll have to look. ;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 24, 2004, 16:35 hrs
Good idea.  Where is it now?

Ace; round and round she goes
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 24, 2004, 22:24 hrs
 ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 24, 2004, 22:32 hrs
6 pages, even though ludd didd a traviss poastt. No, no keyys arre sttuckk. I just felt doubly at that moment.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Munki on September 25, 2004, 01:59 hrs
Recent Posts has ten pages. Beats all.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 25, 2004, 12:28 hrs
Oh, you would notice that.  

And, criminy, for the umpteenth time, it's poasts. P-O-AST-S.  Geez Louise.  I know the dang button says "Post" but that's for the uninitiated.  

Actually, that oughta be erasticated.  Or elasticated.  

Ace; just got new tires on my Ford.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 25, 2004, 22:18 hrs
You ford what?  You out foolin with Whiz's pond?

Jesters from "magical" lands need to careful around water.  Remember what happened to the Witch.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 26, 2004, 10:57 hrs
Which witch?  The one who got the RV dumped on her or the one caught in the hurricane?  

You'd think one named Ivan would be a himicane.

Ace; this thing is gonna be 11 pages.  You just watch.  Go on.  Watch.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 26, 2004, 22:52 hrs
I was referring to the one with the winged monkeys.  Flying monkeys, crikey, dead ones are bad enough.  At least you know where they are and they stay where they're put.

Himicanes are only allowed in Key West.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 27, 2004, 08:03 hrs
I suppose they hosed down the monkeys after the witch.  I hate the smell of a wet monkey, though.  And they're darn hard to torch, after.

I cannot begin to imagine where Buffalo will take this chain.  It's not going to be pretty, that's for sure.

Ace; it's mystical and magical, dangit.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 27, 2004, 08:34 hrs
" it's mystical and magical, dangit. "..Peyton's arm ??

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 27, 2004, 17:06 hrs
or Michiana
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on September 27, 2004, 18:43 hrs
Ok; it's a tie now between Iansl and Pat for:

"Who can extend a poast chain an additional page with the least amount of effort, and/or words."

I suppose Peyton's arm is magical.  I tell ya, his head is alarming.

I don't know if you guys ever saw the movie "Pumpkinhead."  It's a great horror film, starring Lance Henrikson, about a hillbilly horrific legend brought to life.  Big revenge motif going on there.

Anyway, Pumpkinhead has one humongous scary looking head.

That's how I see Peyton Manning; "Ole Pumpkinhead."  With or without a helmet.  His head is huge.  

I suppose Pumpkinhead was "magical."  I guess you could call Peyton's bulbous noggin "magical."  Personally, I'd rather just think of it as bulbous, and overly large.

Ace; you know, Andre Agassi has a sorta weird shaped head.  Usually I wear a cap.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 27, 2004, 19:52 hrs
Bulbous is a neat word. Call someone that and you'll get a blank stare and a response of "I'm not bulbous either." or something like that, or maybe something not.

And I didn't even notice that we were going over to the next page. I had a limited amount of time on my hands to look around, so I stripped the poast I was thinking about to the barebones minimum and...poasted.

I just looked over at the Folding@Home project descriptions and there's some pretty neat stuff there. It's kindof neat knowing that your PC is helping do some noble work on proteins and such. I've finished up 2 work units (I think about 900 frames of simulations), and consequently got about 390 Folding@Home points for it. Nifty, although you can't redeem 'em anywhere. It does give you gloating rights, though.

I used WindowBlinds to make my desktop look very Macish, and the Aqua Dock pretty near finished the change over to Maclikedom. You never notice how clean a mac's interface is (or how confusing to PC users, since the minimize\maximize\exit buttons are on the left) until you've tried it in this way. I have to tell you that where it worked it was suweet :). Then I tried the MacOnPC theme that imitates OS 9 and I think that I wouldn't switch over to an OS 9-based mac for the interface by any means. It's kindof creepy, the greyish titlebars and such. OSX's look is way more cheerful, if not a little toylike, but that's OK. I then installed ObjectBar and tried its Mac theme running in tandem with WindowBlinds' theme (both are free for basic typa stuff), and it looked more like a mac than ever before. I had less of a preferance toward the OSX theme for this, but I still had that tendancy. If ObjectBar really took out the menu bar and put it into its bar, then I think I'd really look into it, but it doesn't do I'm not really, but I'll use it from time to time. As I will with the OSX Windowblinds theme. Right now everything on my system is OSX-looking except the taskbar, windows, and some icons. That means that quite a bit of the icons, the pointers and the sounds, as well as the background, is straight outta OSX practically (and totally, with some of the icons).

I'm downloading Digital World right now from PCWorld's site. I'm getting the HiRes version. I think the much longer wait will be worth it. I don't want to see low-res graphics. I want something I could print and it still look good.

I'm also trying to connect and failing to with MSN messenger. It seems I'm having a problem connecting to MSN's service no matter which program I run on my PC at least, which is annoying, given it says that everything is fine with Messenger on MSN's site.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 27, 2004, 19:54 hrs
Well, it looks like MSN Messenger will log in after al. I just had to let it through on ZoneAlarm (something I don't uite like but oh well) and set Internet Explorer to Online...except that it still refises to work. Ugh. Microsoft stuff (a conservative term).
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 27, 2004, 22:45 hrs
Window blinds keep out the sun. They also block the view.  

Why are we back to talking about hamburgers? Cheesesteaks I could understand.

I hope his little brother doesn't develop the same problem, he's already a giant.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: iansl on September 28, 2004, 21:03 hrs
Huh? What? How? Who? Why? When? Did I get all 6 of the questions? Yes? Great? You betcha.

I'm liking the OSX Windowsblinds theme more and more. I have to do homework, so I can't read much of my newly downloaded copy of Digital World. I read the article on Minimum Advertising Price and it's very interesting. I also saw that funny bonus (or maybe bogus ::)) about HDTV. That was...funny...a laugh...yeah. I didn't want to be redundant but then jumped on into it and added a bit to make it less so.

I've completed 3 work units or so with Folding@Home now. The one it's working on now is a 5000 frame section that may or may not be done tomorrow, but probably will be. It's already process about 400 of the frames and I haven't had the WU fop long.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on September 30, 2004, 22:32 hrs
And its probably 2 sizes too small, which would explain the clarity of some of your recent poastings.  

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 01, 2004, 17:32 hrs
I agree.  

As a disclaimer, however, I must say I have no idea what this poast is now referring to, nor do I think it "dead."  It's alive, if not coherent.

Ace; somebody had waaay too much caffeine before poasting.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 01, 2004, 22:42 hrs
Well, it's Scuzzy's poast.  Why don't we wait and ask him what its about?  

Where would the world be without caffeine?  Probably, most of us would be behaving like -heaven forbid- pandas.

More caffeine in a diet soda than most coffee.   Isn't that what you have for lunch?  Must help get you thru the afternoon - kinda floating along on your own cloud.  Same reason Coke in the morning , instead of coffee, works wonders for
a "big head".
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on October 02, 2004, 19:25 hrs
oh man, Ace. I'm under the bar. kind of. okay. I mean- have a lot to drink. no, I mean, I have HAD a lot to drinkl. My birthday is coming up! I'm hittihng 25 come october 20-th.

Comrona for tyou, buddyh!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 02, 2004, 20:13 hrs
Well, TG(if), what the heck are you telling me for.

Sure, go ahead; have a lot to drink.  What can it hurt.  Hair of the dog, you know.  Man's best friend.

Heh; beer.  Man's best friend.  Could be.

So, with TG's birthday coming up, he's decided to start the celebration nearly 3 weeks ahead of time.  That makes sense.  Talk about burning the birthday candle at both ends.

Personally, I was inhaling Sierra Nevada Pale Ales whilst watching Purdue tattoo the flighty Irish.  I enjoyed it heartily.  Them. Both.

Take Ludd's advice; do a lot of caffeine.  It won't sober you up, but you'll be one wide-awake drunk.

Ace; criminy, another birthday to watch for.  Wonder whose it'll be after we start it for Thag....
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 02, 2004, 22:40 hrs
Not advice, just the facts, man.
Joe.

"gotta be good lookin 'cause he's so hard to see"

In memory of Scott Muni
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on October 04, 2004, 22:08 hrs
It's beyond me why this poast continues to kick. I recall that there was once some stupid dead site that couldn't be kept alive. It too was born dead, and remained that way. Which is fine by me, since it smelled pretty bad anyway.

Now this one needs to die, too. Once and for all. I just my use my special powers to delete it, then pour nine yards of concrete on top of it.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 05, 2004, 08:49 hrs
Buffalo double crosses the lines of public decency, Ludd does homage to the recently departed on-air personalities, and Scuzzy wakes the Dead.

Halloween must be just around the corner.

Hey; remember last year with the link where you were to look out the window of that kitchen to see the ghost..?  And you were to turn your volume all the way up to hear the faint murmurings?  And the surprise ending, with collateral damage?

Geez Louise, I was in DC trying not to get sniped when I did that thing.  Once I peeled myself off the ceiling, I saw the humour.  Once I could breathe again.  Some time later that same day.

Ace; surprised I didn't run out the door screaming into a white van...
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 05, 2004, 22:31 hrs
Speaking of Halloween, the East Coast is literally sold out of Pimp and Prostitute costumes for kids.  Black net stockings and all.
Now that is scary.  


And the death of the poast is post poned


Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 06, 2004, 07:35 hrs
Well, they'll be walking the streets looking for tricks, and treats, so I guess it's appropriate.  

I feel sorry for the little boys whose mothers dress them up in fishnet stockings and dresses, and makeup...  Cross dressing would be a pretty simple costume choice, though.  I'd rather just see them as typical American icons, like Indians and Policemen and Firemen and

well, the Village People.  sigh.  Or a lumberjack.

Ace; phonetically, that's "eeaaaaugghh."
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 06, 2004, 09:52 hrs
Or Jesters.  Now that would be comical, a whole group of little Jesters running across the grass, tracking up rememberances of Scud, jumping over the dead moneys and pandas and other lawn ornaments yelling Happy belated birthday NEON!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 06, 2004, 16:14 hrs
There is nothing comical about Jesters.  Even if you leave dead presidents or money lying about, a crowd of those cretins is not going to bring any mirth or joy or glad tidings to anyone.  Criminy, I can't think of anything more depressing than a dang crowd of Jesters, miniature or full size, cavorting about annoying the heck out of people.

Maybe clowns; they're scarier.  Maybe mimes; everyone hates them, like pandas.  But Jesters alone can cause your skin to crawl and eyes to twitch, not like Shelby's whose are perfectly fine eyes and he's a beautiful cat really.  

I tell ya, if Iwas to go running across yards trying to leap over lawn ornaments I bet you'd hear me yell, too.  And it wouldn't be "Happy...." anything.  

Dressing kids up like jesters is just sick.  I mean, I could see the pimps/prostitutes theme as good-natured fun, but a jester get-up for kids along with the sour disposition and ill-tempered humour and general malaise and grumpiness would just make for a mob of mean-spirited dwarves.

Dwarfs.  Monkies.  Whomever.

It'd be like the ones from Snow White; Grumpy, Dumpy, Sleazy, Smelly, Stinky, Scratchy, Frumpy.

Ace; oh, and Gimpy.  He's usually at the end.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 06, 2004, 22:47 hrs
The noise of from the bells would be enough to wake the dead pandas.

But can you picture a six year old, crossed dressed in the fishnet stockings ringing the bell and instead of "trick or treat" the opening line is "Hi, honey"?

'course the only lawn ornaments around are rusted old cars and appliances.  Tetanus shots are included in the goodie bags for the more active jumpers.  At least they're still available.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 07, 2004, 07:07 hrs
Really.  There are days I duct tape the things down, just to stop the ringing in my ears.

Well, actually I've just got the one ring, in one ear, but still that can keep you up nights.

Here's a thought for those with kids, who are stuck with costuming the little ones for honoring Pagan holidays of worship for the harvest glommed in with days of the dead and other mythic events that do not coincide:

Shoot... I completely lost my train of thought writing that.  Oh, ok; hold it.. now I remember:

Dress Them Like Pandas.

It's not hard; just grab an old sheet, or pillow case if they're small, apply some black blotches with paint, and roll them up in it.  Sit them down by the tv or on the driveway, and just wait.

It's a safe costume; pandas don't move, so your kids won't be going out at risk and possibly getting bad candy or razor blades (unless you actually did send them to the drugstore for razor blades) or other danger or abuse.  

No one will approach your children, since no one approaches pandas.  Cars will avoid them, as much as people.  They won't even get near each other, since it's been observed that pandas in captivity or the wild will have nothing to do with one another.

So; let's recap the benefits of Going as a Panda for Halloween: it's cheap. It's safe.  It's scary.  Boy, is it scary.  You run across a dang panda in a dark alley, you only wish it was darker.

As for the inherent stink of pandas, which stink worse than stink stinks:  just hose them down or shower them after.  It'll take a lot of body wash or shampoo, and probably go through one loufa or wash cloth, but it's worth it for your children's safety and enjoyment.  Maybe try the tomato juice thing people do after a skunk nails them.

Ace; trick or stink.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 07, 2004, 09:01 hrs
Now come on, the only appropriate thing to do with tomato juice is to mix it with hot sauce and spirits and pour it on the inside of the stinky body.

The only down side to panda costumes and putting the kids in the driveway is you'll have to spend the next morning cleaning up the peanuts and other garbage thrown at them.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on October 10, 2004, 11:07 hrs
I can honestly say that this thread has been going on since back when I was in college.

Speaking of college, Here's a pic of my Study group, during one of our more difficult cram sessions. I'm on the left, Jardaine1138 is in the middle, and Preacher3380x is on the right.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v174/Thatguy1079/3inbar.jpg
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 11, 2004, 07:32 hrs
Your left, or our left? Or the other left?  Sometimes deciphering these photos is as hard as figuring out which William Shatner Neon is.

That's either the world's largest #2 pencil or a cue stick, I think. I don't know what you guys are cramming, besides ale.

I'm glad this poast hasn't been going on since I was in college, since back then the computer filled a room and I wasn't allowed in, anyway.  If I had to pick which guy looks the farthest gone I'd pick that guy on the left, too.

Ace; maybe the poast will get drunk and fall asleep, and that's how it'll end.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 11, 2004, 08:23 hrs
Not Denny Crane.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 11, 2004, 08:36 hrs
Dangit, Ludd, you had me thinking "who the heck is Denny Crane..?" and then I remembered I forgot who that was before.

Ace; dangit.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 11, 2004, 12:23 hrs
I've forgotten what this poast is about...something dead? Must be pandas or monkeys....

Ace;  wait,  no, someone else...

Kirk out

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Buffalo2102 on October 11, 2004, 16:15 hrs
I've refrained from poasting in this thread up to now as I thought that it was dead already.  Apparently not.  Maybe it should be renamed Elvis - dead but nobody wants to believe it.  Probably be spotted in Walmart by somebody next week.

I reckon it is dead and you lot should stop picking at it.  Bury it.  Leave it alone.

A bit like Pandas.  If the WWF (not the wrestling body) left the pandas alone they'd soon die out.

That's what I reckon.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 11, 2004, 21:15 hrs
This poast could become the Graceland of poasts.  Flamboyant, tacky, and garish.  

It is time for the reckoning.

Ace; the king died on his throne.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 11, 2004, 22:17 hrs
Reckoning, like a seance?  Maybe we could raise Elvis, or Jerry, or other dead things.

Just in time for Halloween!

The new hat your costume for trick or treating?
No one will recognize you!


Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 12, 2004, 07:05 hrs
Oh, heck, no one recognizes me anyway.  I don't know how many times I've been at a Yes concert or at Hacienda with Pat, and he didn't even recognize me.

Or Scuzzy.  Shoot, I'd recognize him most anywhere, but I doubt if he'd spot me.  No, not "shot", spot.  Don't give him any ideas.

Or Trav; I feel like I know him like a photo plastered in a chatroom, but I can't say my visage is as clear to him as his to me.  And ThatGuy, on the left.  I feel I could walk into a bar and ID him with any group of 3 drunks, as long as he doesn't change his seat or comb his hair.

I was thinking maybe I could comb my hair different for a disguise, and then I thought; ok.  Never mind.

Are we going to try to contact Jerry Lee Lewis?  Jerry Lewis?  Jerry Ford?  I wasn't sure which.  We don't have to raise Elvis; I think he's close to Michiana just up in Michigan according to gas station reports.  I don't know if a seance would be a good thing for the chatroom, since it could raise the dead and scare young children who wandered in.  Although this would be the right poast for it.

Ace; I wonder if Buffalo was named after his cat.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 12, 2004, 11:01 hrs
Well, it'd be hard to miss anyone with a light blub attached.

The world's largest #2 pencil would be a telltale sign that would be hard to miss.

Comb which hair?

Actually I was thinking of Garcia...other dead things.  But now would also be a good time to try Superman.  Maybe he could kill this poast.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 12, 2004, 12:47 hrs
Maybe Bizzaro Superman.

And, Geez Criminy, don't go resurrecting anyone named Garcia.  Geez Louise.

Ace; I guess if I grabbed light bulb I could go as Uncle Fester for Halloween.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 12, 2004, 14:03 hrs
Oops. Forgot about that one!

Isn't it "Festus"? No, wait..that was Gunsmoke.
Wasn't Shattner in that too?  The man got around.



Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 12, 2004, 17:49 hrs
No, Shattner wasn't in Gunsmoke.  Heck, I remember watching Gunsmoke.  And it was Chester, not Festus...  And I think Miss Kitty and James Arness had something going on there beyond the superficial...  What the hey was Festus in?  I'm drawing a blank, now.  Was that Gomer's brother in Andy of Mayberry?

Hey, wouldn't it be fun to match different Poasters with characters from the Andy Taylor show?

Oh.  True.  Been there/done that.  That's too bad..

Oh.  How about this; somebody start a poast about pizza?  That'd be dang cool.

Ace; geez, who cares what William Shattner's in as long as it isn't your stereo.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 12, 2004, 22:28 hrs
Festus followed Chester.  Fetus Haggen was Deputy Marshall of Dodge.
" Festus is fiercely loyal to Matt Dillon and counts Matt as one of his two best friends?the other is his mule."..TV Land.
He probably ate cats, couldn't keep one as a pet.

I think you shouldn't suggest poast topics, next thing you know dog and cat owners will be taking over.

Shattner can sing, just not well.  
Beauty always looks best in the mirror-light blub or no.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 13, 2004, 07:26 hrs
Well, that explains it then.  I must have stopped watching after Chester, and before Festus Fetus stepped in.

I've heard of child actors, but that's starting a bit young...

I think suggesting poast topics is alright, especially in terms of "you better or Ace will."  Nobody wants to see that.

There also is a whole chain that could be developed on "Marshall Dillon and his Kitty" but I'll leave that to Buffalo to risk.  There are dog owners, but no one owns a cat.  The cat owns you.

Oh, and Trav; Ludd called you a blub in the mirror.  Heh.

Ace; that might be a good poast topic, too.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 13, 2004, 14:34 hrs
True, it was when it was done last.  Maybe you could ask Trav to change the color of the blub for the holiday season, like the top of the Empire State Building, all red, green and blue.

Then there'd be something new to talk about.

Maybe that's where MS stole the name for their new processor-Miss Kitty's Long Branch Saloon?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 13, 2004, 17:28 hrs
Trav should add a blurb on his blub for his blog.

ace; bleah
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Buffalo2102 on October 14, 2004, 15:05 hrs
Hey, where IS Trav anyway - he's really quiet lately.  Perhaps he's blurbing right now.

Bleah! :P  I seem to recall Snoopy saying that a lot.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 14, 2004, 20:19 hrs
No..  I just said it.  

Bleah.  :P

See? There it is again.  I think Trav must be in sublurblia, just hanging out.  Or asleep.  Or maybe it's his birthday and he's celeblubbing.

Ace; Son of Blubber
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 15, 2004, 09:29 hrs
Or maybe his Power Supply, that he has been talking about for awhile, finally turned to blubber.

Or, maybe he broke the mirror.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on October 15, 2004, 18:09 hrs
...ladies and germs and jesters...i present to you....TRAV!!

:)


Nooo my PSU hasent fried yet...hanging in there! ;) And.....whats a bleh?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 15, 2004, 18:50 hrs
TRAV!! dUDE!! WHAT'S SHAKIN???

Ok. let's not go there.  This is a family oriented forum, and all.

TRAV!! DUDE!!  WHAT'S HAPPENIN??

Glad your back.  Where the heck ya been?  Bean?

What's a bleh?  I have no idea.  A bleah is an expression of... well, bleah.   :P  I don't know how else to express it.

Like when, you read a Joke by Ace, and you think about it...

and, after awhile, you go.. bleah.

Ace; like that.  Only worse.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on October 15, 2004, 20:05 hrs
Ehhh....not too much....ive been wondering what Ace's REAL AIM screen name is!


Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 16, 2004, 08:19 hrs
"Ehh."  How Canadian.

Whattya mean, what's my REAL AIM (he shouted)?  You mean like "purpose" or "mission" or "moral of the parable?"  Like, as in "why are you here" meaning of life stuff?

Well, let me think...

No, I can't think of any.  I don't think there is any.  Sure haven't noticed any, all these years.  Just sorta "been there, did nothing"...   Just sorta hangin' out, tucking it in, going with the flow, drying myself off.  No theme, no consistency, no reason.  As far as a real screen name..? Like in "Denny Crane"?  Isn't one.  Shoot, I'm not real.  

Ace; I'm a myth.  Somedays, it's hit or myth.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on October 16, 2004, 10:57 hrs
Nooooo....your AIM!!! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1740000/images/_1740135_aol300.gif) <--- :)
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 16, 2004, 12:03 hrs
Geez Louise, Trav, I don't do AOL.  You couldn't pay me enough.  Criminy, nor instant message thingys.  I've got Windows Messenger not signed in, so it'll leave me alone.  I sure don't want to be bothered instantly by anybody.  It's hard enough with the delayed reaction here.

If it's that dang important, just call me.  I'm in the book, for cryin' out loud.

Ace; like it's that dang urgent.  Dangit.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Buffalo2102 on October 16, 2004, 16:44 hrs
Yeah, it' not like people need a jester in a hurry these days........
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 16, 2004, 17:05 hrs
Anyway, Buff, to answer your avatar:
Nothin'.

But you'd be right.  Any crisis that requires immediate Jester intervention is probably doomed, anyway.  

However; my other roles, not to mention biscuits, like LOOKOUT!! or Janitor might require a quick response.  Just call 911.  I'll Be There.

Ace; wait'll they try to find 11 on the phone...
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on October 16, 2004, 20:59 hrs
*looks for "11" on phone*  >:( darn! i cant find it!  :-\
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on October 17, 2004, 13:20 hrs
I got me an early birthday present in the mail courtesy of my girl: Some old novel (She says it's a good book, but I really don't know; it's 'The Story of O' by Pauline Reage) and I also got sick- maybe she coughed into the envelope before mailing it off. Heh. The gift that keeps on giving.

As fer ole' Blub-neck Trav there... I've talked to him, oh wait he's back again, no wait dangit-

TG1079; I'd be behind the times but I'm too old.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 17, 2004, 19:49 hrs
"I gave you diamonds; you gave me disease."  I think that was from a David Bowie album.  No, not "Diamond Dogs."  Another one.  

Sorry to hear your anti-virus let you down.  It's been one year since I've been sick, so I'm knocking on my head.  Can't recall another disease free year.  Since I never get flu shots anyway, I'm expecting more of the same.

I never read that book.  Not that I remember any books I have read, but I know that wasn't one of them.  One about "Oz" but not just "O."  Unless that's a prequel.  O Henry I've read.  

Man, if you're too old now just wait until your birthday.  Anniversary.  Go on; wait.

Ace; I bet he can't wait.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 17, 2004, 22:18 hrs
The Story of O is not one you'll be reporting on here!

Think you are sick now, read on!

Judging by the current situation, you'll not be getting a flu shot this year either.  Jesters are immune, by nature, to any attacks on their Life Force.  Ever see a sick Jester, wait, no, how about an ill Jester?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 18, 2004, 08:09 hrs
"Cinematic Eroticism". "Massive quantities of nakidity."  Geez criminy Louise.  Why the heck would you read the book...

Oh; and I was wrong. I was thinking about it, and it dawned on me that "I gave her diamonds/she gave me disease" wasn't from Bowie.  It was from the Stones, Exile on Main Street.  Huh.  I just checked, and confirmed.

Ok, now that Ludd made me look again, I remember "O."  My wife used to get that magazine.  It was full of Oprah.  Heck, she was full of it.  They were pretty much the same, and both full of each other.

It was like reading a long magazine ad.  Real haute fashion stuff.  Lifestyles of the rich and famous.  Well, her.  And her friends.  And products she uses, I'm guessing.  Pricey products.

After finding the description of that movie on Amazon, I believe I shall now have to spray my computer with Lysol.  I don't think the Norton can keep up with it, nor the spyware blockers after going over that writeup.

Ace; geez, I can see why it's "studied" over and over again...
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on October 18, 2004, 19:45 hrs
weellll....i dunno......heh...w00t.... ::)


could be a prequel! And theres a misses Jester?

Dude; no, i'd miss the jeser greatly....but misses? well thats just incorrect english...id misses  the jester, dangit...Jester, even
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 19, 2004, 14:23 hrs
Geez Louise, I didn't want to have to craft a response to this... but whatever it takes to keep Scuzzy's memory alive.

Not "functional," but alive.

Dude; Criminy Yes there's a Mrs. Jester.  Holy Dead Pandas where the heck have you been...  Ever since I was a young attractive teenage Asian girl in the chatroom there was a Mrs. Jester, let alone now.

Anyway, the movie is as described.  At least is as described by the description I found on Amazon.  And I have a hunch that's as close as I'm gonna get to it, per Mrs. Jester.

Ace; woot whatever.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on October 19, 2004, 19:45 hrs
Quoteyoung attractive teenage Asian girl

Ah, yes. I remember those days. Trav bought you from a vending machine, as I remember. After all, we all know that there is a vending machine for everything in Japan, and that means they sell jesters. It also means that I was at the beer vending machine, and travis was looking for something to Rush the bulb out of his neck.

In any case, Happy birthday, ace. You're a year older than me. Or more. But I'll get you tomorrow, on the 20th, then I'll be a year older.

TG1079; go, fight, win.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 19, 2004, 22:43 hrs
Happy birthday TG.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on October 20, 2004, 00:50 hrs
Quote from: Ace on October 19, 2004, 14:23 hrs
Geez Louise, I didn't want to have to craft a response to this... but whatever it takes to keep Scuzzy's memory alive.

As much as I appreciate it, my memory is just fine. Both the neurotic neurons in my brain, and my RAM. I even remembered my way back here without asking for directions. I even know what room I'm in. I also recall already doing a funeral for this stupid thread.

Scuzzy; what the heck were we talking about?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 20, 2004, 07:19 hrs
We were talking about TG's self pronounced birthday.  Well, he has been for the past 2 weeks.  With that build up, it better be a big one, or he's going to be awfully disappointed.  Anymore I'm disappointed when I have a birthday, although it's better to have them than not have them, if you know what I mean.

Usually I apologize if you know what I mean, but I'll just let that one stand for today.

"I remembered my way back" "without asking for directions."  Fine, go ahead and show off.  Let me know when you're done.

Ace; we were talking about the little yellow AOL guy, who doesn't have hands or feet.  It figures Trav would like him since he has a round yellow head that doesn't say anything  :-X
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 20, 2004, 09:20 hrs
Thank goodness he DOESN"T talk. He does enough as it is.  The latest annoyance is his invasion of football games, plastered across the field in semi-transparent form, always headed in the same direction, regardless of which way the Offense is pushing.  Next thing you know, he'll be invading beer commercials.

Brilliant!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 20, 2004, 17:45 hrs
Geez Criminy Louise.

I'm reading this dang thing, page 9 as it were, and I'm thinking
"Yeah, probably good Trav doesn't talk... Huh.  I don't recall seeing him running across football games; either on TV or Madden.  That would be annoying.  And Trav in beer commercials..?  For what, Labatts?  Molsons?  TG I could see in a beer commercial, if there was any left, but dude..? What the hey..."

Ok.  The little handicapped AOL guy.  Not Trav.  Thank goodness.

Ace; I just remembered I have short term memory loss.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 20, 2004, 22:48 hrs
Well,
A: Trav may be little but he isn't yellow.

2: Trav does have a lot to say.

III: Guiness would do.

Directions out of here would be helpful.

Brilliant!

Crikey
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Mark H on October 22, 2004, 18:48 hrs
This "The Dead Poast" thread is hot on the heels of the record set by the "Recent Poast" thread.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 23, 2004, 11:32 hrs
Yeah, but the Dead Poast is made up of living poasters while the Recent Post is made up of dead poasters.

Ace; 'bout time the Pizza Poast came to life.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 23, 2004, 22:34 hrs
Wrong room  but, hey. ;D
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 24, 2004, 10:52 hrs
Well, if there were directions here maybe that wouldn't happen.  

Ace; all the rooms are the same, and the points don't matter.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on October 27, 2004, 22:53 hrs
Seems like you and the vest finally did it.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on October 28, 2004, 07:09 hrs
Shhh.  

Ace; I put new batteries in it.  I didn't know they'd run down.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on November 11, 2004, 14:19 hrs
Ressurection!


Muwahahahha...Yes, im short, but i dont run like that and carry around a big sign that says "Try our internet service for 59 Years FREE!". Me: I run around carrying a sign that says "I want to be the next Jester!"
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Buffalo2102 on November 11, 2004, 15:27 hrs
Well, if running around and carrying a sign was the main requirement, you'd be in there.  Like a shot.  But I think you have to be quite mad too.  The blub in the neck contributes towards that but I'm still not sure you qualify.  Almost though.  Perhaps you could become the Apprentice Jester

Besides, we already have a Jester.  I think the only way that you would get to be Jester is if Ace "steps down" or (god forbid) "shuffles off".

Still, keep carrying the sign.  You never know......
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 11, 2004, 15:33 hrs
Look; I haven't shuffled since I had gout, back in June.  Dangit.  I walk perfectly fine, pretty much, otherwise.  

I'd step down, but I've already hit bottom...  

Ace; he lost the election.  Tough luck.  Live with it.  Criminy.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 11, 2004, 16:45 hrs
Ace was declared the winner but the Iowa votes haven't been counted, probably won't be.

Maybe time for a brighter light blub, attract more attention.  Or, make the avatar bigger, no, wait mm, any bigger and it will take over the thread, maybe the whole room.

You haven't hit bottom until the batteries die.  Even if the Heineken bottle is empty.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 12, 2004, 06:31 hrs
That wasn't the battery-operated Heineken bottle. I can plug them in directly on the desktop, since the Belkin power strip is right there.

Maybe Iowa should've had a caucus, instead.  Then people might have paid them some attention.  Or a straw poll.  Well, a corn poll, I guess.  

Funny their team's the Hawkeyes.  I guess others might consider:
Cowsears.  Pigsnouts.  Goathooves. Eagletoes.  Falconbeaks. Chickenlips.  Oysterarms.

We don't want any eternal avatar showing its giant perpetual face in here...  This place is haunted enough, as it is.

Ace; the poast is off life support. It's breathing on its own.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 12, 2004, 08:12 hrs
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v493/luddite399/casperf1.jpg)



If Iowa held their caucus now it would give election officals enough time to count the results.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 12, 2004, 14:26 hrs
Casper looks like the lovechild of the Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man and the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Ok. wait a minute.

That's not right...  I don't think that's even legal now, in 17 states.  Let alone Iowa, if they ever get a chance to offer an opinion.

"Friendly Ghost."  I guess that's like "Nice Clown" or "Playful Pitbull" or "Pleasant Nightmare."  Oh, and "Funny Jester."  Yeah, right.

Ace:  Colon Powell.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 12, 2004, 22:46 hrs
Funny and Jester is redundant, assuming  'funny' is other than comical.  






Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 13, 2004, 12:11 hrs
Yeah, it is.  How the heck do you write a 1-line poast and then have to EDIT the dang thing...?   Criminy, what did you start with?

Ace - Not funny "ha ha."  Just "funny..."
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 13, 2004, 22:33 hrs
Correctness in all things.  I started with the wrong verb for a compound subject.

Ask a picky question....

not funny, at all. ;)

At least Trav has a new toy.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 14, 2004, 11:12 hrs
I appreciate your restraint, or at least oversite, in not noticing I edited my dang short poast immediately upon poasting.

Criminy, I don't serve well as an example.  

Ace; I do ok if someone says "Let's make an example of him.."
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 14, 2004, 23:02 hrs
congratulations on your new found acumen with avatars.  Not only are you linking, your using your own pictures.

Squirrel doesn't look that fat to me.  Another Jerster exaggeration?

Far be it from me to to exercise restraint.  I flat out missed it, darn it.  Another missed opportunity.
But, I am certain there will be others!

Poast more pictures.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 15, 2004, 07:22 hrs
Oh, he's fat alright.  Look at the pants on that guy.  He's not life sized.  I would've shot him from the back, but I don't have a wide-angle on the Canon.

Heck, it'd take a cannon to knock one of the lard-b's over.  

Ace; I'll poast a photo of my pet rabbit later.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 16, 2004, 09:25 hrs
Its not very sporting to shoot things in the back.  
Even fat, nasty, dangerous, donut-eating, peanut stealing squirrels.  

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 16, 2004, 10:06 hrs
It's ok if you shoot them from the front, as long as you yell "This one's playing dead."  

I'm afraid to stand behind the squirrels, in case they'd back up over my camera and crush it.  I'd stand behind any of you guys, though.

Ace; as long as you don't back up.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 18, 2004, 23:20 hrs
Now Bob qualifies as 'fat'.  Too many bananas or "Greenies".  

I don't remember seing him at your desk, if it was really your desk.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 19, 2004, 07:03 hrs
Criminy, no, Bob doesn't work at my desk.  Geez Louise, he's a dang monkey.

I mean, sure, I could mount him on my keyboard and take a photo, but that could be misinterpreted.

Hmmm.  That gives me an idea.  And you know that's never good.

Ace; dead monkey + dead poast = trouble brewing
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 19, 2004, 22:35 hrs
I can smell the wood burning from here, or is that the turkey?  



Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 20, 2004, 12:00 hrs
No, we have the turkey chilling.  I wonder how many "hands" a turkey would measure?  I'm thinking "two."

Ace; around its throat.  And to think that ugly thing was almost our National Bird/Icon.  Heh; could you imagine a flagpole with a Turkey planted on top?  That'd gain respect and awe in the world...
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 21, 2004, 10:16 hrs
It at least would have had the advantage of putting the world to sleep.

Imagine if turkey were the daily fare in the Middle East.  Everyone too sleepy to build bombs and argue about anything.

Hormones do serve some useful purposes.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 21, 2004, 10:46 hrs
Well, I know what's fatter than a big fat roasted turkey.  I think they oughta give turkeys peanuts to fatten them up, because it works on the yard apes here with their plump arms and bloated bellies and fat furry pants.  These guys wandered up today and shook the lawn chairs.
(http://srv.fotopages.com/2/3115053.jpg)
(http://srv.fotopages.com/2/3115055.jpg)

Ace; and they said they weren't all that fat.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 21, 2004, 22:33 hrs
If Mother Nature intended squirrels to eat peanuts, they'd all be in Georgia.  Fat they are and an insult to the natural order of things.

Nice fotos, by the way.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 22, 2004, 06:12 hrs
They're quite unnatural.  They're freaks of nature; my hands were shaking while that one towered out there, sticking his tongue out at me.

Ace; big fat-pantsed little men.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 22, 2004, 08:39 hrs
You certainly provide enough natural greens for her to eat.  Or are you simply behind schedule with the weed wacker?
Nice blacktop.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 22, 2004, 09:04 hrs
I asked my wife if I could keep a Bunny in the yard, but she wouldn't let me.  We do have rabbits, though, but I had something else in mind.

Ace; cute little cottontails.  And those ears.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 22, 2004, 09:35 hrs
Keeping a Bunny in the yard would be cruel, heartless and inconsiderate.  Even the garage would be better, and, a little more private.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 22, 2004, 19:13 hrs
When I was a kid my brother and I built models.  I guess that's where I got the idea.

I had a salad tonight, which is broaching upon excessive greens.  Most golf courses have excessive rough(age).

Ace; I had one of Carol Alt, and Cheryl Tiegs...  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 23, 2004, 09:03 hrs
And you kept them in a cage?

Here is a model that would be appropriate, particularly with 'greens':

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v493/luddite399/misspiggy4.jpg)
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 23, 2004, 12:05 hrs
Well, no.  They were 1/24 scale.  Although I wish we could've gotten a full-size model...  

Our mom probably wouldn't have let us keep her I mean it, though, then.

Dangit.

My avatar said he's turned on by the Miss Piggy photo.  I slapped him, which makes him jiggle and laugh hysterically.

Ace; first I thought it was a photo of Kirstie Alley...
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 23, 2004, 20:24 hrs
Ok; look.  I'm with Johnny on this.  I mean, everybody has a right to their belief system, and all.  I guess what bothers me is when people choose not to REVEAL their (entire) belief system.  You can look it up.  I did.  

That truly lousy Travolta movie, with the aliens and all..?  That's pretty much it.  Aliens will be coming, and that's when it all comes together.  Which, again, is fine... if that's what you think.  And, if that's how you feel it's going to go down, then say so....  Plus, open up to the internal conflicts and goings on, too.  If there are Scientologists here, among us, then I hope you take no offense. It's just that I don't hear them talking about the true mysteries of their faith.  Probably anymore than other fairly secretive groups say much about what they're about...  Like our fore-fathers hiding that big treasure thingy.

I would add that I'm saying all this as one who belongs to a faith that is under close inspection, and some degree of scandal.  And deservedly so.  And to not admit that, and face it, is bogus.

Personally, I believe in aliens.  Criminy, there are enough of them here to warrant closer inspection.  Just the Canadians alone are worth our while to study.

I did not know about an Earthlink guy linked to Scientology.  I shall check that out; thanks for the tip.  Keep in mind; the birth of this chatroom was in the Revelation of the Fountain behind Quantex.  If we hadn't pursued the Truth then, then whom knows where it wouldn't have led us.

Ace; oh, and you mispelled "fowl".  Like I said, it's been a rough spelling week.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 23, 2004, 23:22 hrs
Ace said fowl...
I must correct an earlier poast in which I called
tryptophan a hormone.  Its actually an amino acid and technically: L-tryptophan.  Just the name is enough to put you to sleep.

You might ask: "Who cares what the heck it is?"
Not me.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 24, 2004, 06:49 hrs
Well, I still say if J. Ron Howard really thought that aliens will come back and

Hold it.  That doesn't sound right...  I'm thinking Opey doesn't necessarily believe in... hmm.  

Oh; no, wait.  I'm right.  He's doing the Da Vinci Code movie, which I'd also rate in the category of "Made Up and Totally Bogus Things Presented as Historical Facts Which In Fact Aren't DUH And Even The Real Life Allusions And Historical Locations Do Not Appear As They Are Described In Said Text."  So it probably is him.

Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, Vinnie Barbarino; that is a brain trust unmatched by any other I mean group.  

Ace; I almost said "cult."  Good thing I didn't.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 24, 2004, 08:58 hrs
Well Good morning, and Welcome Back ACE, yet again.

In any cross-sectional group there are bound to be a few who rank as "genius".   Kerry and Bush are stereotypical examples.  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 24, 2004, 09:22 hrs
Thank you.  I enjoyed my sabbatical, but it's always nice to get back to work.

Like it's always nice when the scissors slip when you're cutting your toenails and you jab your foot.

And since when is tryptophan a hormone...?!  You know, I wonder if in nature it's ok for two hormones two join together in a bond, recognized under the laws of nature as a legally binding union

Ok; wait a minute...  I'm thinking of something else.  As usual.

Ace; I gotta keep on task today; there's a bunch of live poasts still out there.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 24, 2004, 09:42 hrs
I poasted a correction,  somewhere,  So many rooms, so little time....
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 24, 2004, 10:43 hrs
Oh, I know that.  I just like to see people get defensive.  That helps me in my pursuit of being offensive.  

Unless I wasn't paying attention, and missed it.  Then, the blame is yours.  

Ace; so many rooms, so little mind.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on November 24, 2004, 12:32 hrs
Good lord man! It's still alive in that not-alive meaning dead but not really sort of way?  :o

Speaking of attractive women ( I love to talk about them ;) ) I've been collecting pics of Miho Yoshioka. Quite the cutie.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 24, 2004, 14:19 hrs
Who?

Thats not a bad trick, read a poast, ignore it and question the accuracy of the original poaster.

If this were anyone else, I'd suspect you were looking for another star.  But in your case....
Too many stars already.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 24, 2004, 14:42 hrs
Yeah, "Thag."

As far as the senses go, "Talking" would be my least favorite involving attractive women.  

As far as Miho, I can't even pronounce all that let alone know who it is.  Criminy, I thought that was one of those Asian swords you guys are into...

Ace; no poast dead before its time.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Nestor on November 25, 2004, 04:00 hrs
3AM, what am I doing awake? I'll tell you.

Ace, I think it's dead. Pretty sure. Maybe.

...poke it with a stick, willya? I'm not sure I want to.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 26, 2004, 08:33 hrs
Ace is probably suffering from the  tryptophan syndrome, or maybe is waiting to make another grand re-entrance.  He seems to cherish the ballyhoo and hoopla surrounding his arrivals and departures.  Trumpets and drum roll, please.

Enter Indiana Ace in the Temple of Tome!

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 26, 2004, 09:26 hrs
ja,
Good idea, except I'm no the 1 to aske.  I hav trouble wid bof.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 28, 2004, 10:43 hrs
Well, ok, we're sorry to hear that, then.

Oh, and you mispelled "beef."

Ace; probably thinks the plural would be "cowz."
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 28, 2004, 22:53 hrs
No, now wait.  The plural would be "bofes"

I never said anything about bef or cowz.  If you ant to talk about food, I prefer chiken.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 29, 2004, 06:46 hrs
Ant about food would make it a picnic.

Or "beafy tee shirt" as Scuzzy would say.  Once.  

You know, this dead poast has now shifted to meat.  I think that's appropriate, since the meat we eat is dead.  You know, another anomaly is that the "ea" in meat is pronounced "ee" and the "ea" in eat is pronounced "ee" but the "ea" in dead is pronounced "eh."  You'd think it would be pronounced like "deed."

Or "the met we et is ded."  Or if you're from the south "The mayt we ayt is dayd."  Or Britain; "The moyt we oyt is doyd."  Heh.

Ace; sometimes I don't need anyone else around to crack myself up.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 29, 2004, 22:45 hrs
Which brings us back to the question raised earlier, I think, about discerning between a typo and a misspelling.  Which do you think 'ant' was?

I''d vote fot a server malfunction myself.  Couldn't ahave been atipo.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 30, 2004, 06:31 hrs
Ok; I've got this one.

One's mental, and one's physical.  

A typo is mechanical, when your fingers make a mistake.  They take off by themselves and hit the wrong keys, and are to blame. So it's a physical defect you have.  

A mispelling is mental; your fingers are just following instructions from your faulty brain.  You think a word really is spelled that way, and they follow your orders, but you were wrong in the first place.  It's not spelled that way.  Well, "It's" is, but not what you were typing.  Well, keyboarding.  You know.  

For some here, both the brain and hands are at fault.  The poaster is mistaken on the spelling, and the fingers botch it up anyway.  That synergy is something to behold.  If your stars are aligned you might accidentally blunder into the correct spelling, by mistake, if both your brain and fingers seize up simultaneously.  If you're lucky.

You have to be careful, though, since some will do intentional typoes just for the sake of a few laughs.  Well, maybe one.  Like in "your welcome."  I mean, using the possessive instead of the contraction is just wrong, but amusing nonetheless.  Oh; and running words together like nonetheless is another ploy: that can suggest haste and an acceleration of speech, like in:

"WhattheheckdoyoumeanIleftitopen...?"  If you capitalize them it heightens the excitement: "WHATKINDOFDOOFUSDOYOUTHINKiAMHUH?!"  

Shoot. That first one will probably get banned, or me.  Well, I'll just say it was a typo, and that oughta get me off the hook.

I generally only make mistakes intentionally, so any criticism of my brain or fingers is inappropriate.  Keep that in mind, everyone.

If you're not a native speaker of English, meaning American, that too can result in some egregious errors.  Or attempting words you really don't know, like "egregious."  That gets me into trouble a lot.  Or homonyms; they are my bane and downfall.  

Ace; although I don't care if they get married, or not.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on November 30, 2004, 08:27 hrs
Your pontification was elucidating but, as explanations go, it was a stereotypical Kerry-ism.  

How about a simple civil union and avoid the whole marriage question entirely. If 'bane' and 'downfall' were joined, it would be baleful, and depressing.

And, you misspelled 'misspelling', leading us back to the question: fingers or brain/ error or intent/ careless or lazy/ or Ace vs.the Keyboard.



Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on November 30, 2004, 10:00 hrs
Geez Louise, it was intentional...  criminy, you must have missed that whole section.  I told you, that's what I do.  There are no mistakes on my end.

Well, I still wear a cap a lot, but all the same.

Most civil unions don't seem to be that civil, anyway.  So making it legal doesn't make it right.  Also, I'm leaning toward baneful, or awful.  Actually, they oughta ban bane, since I find using it awkward.

I think a Mono Kerry is enough; there's no need for stereo with him.  And "Ant" wasn't all that funny on Last Comic Standing, so I'd figure him a mistake as well.

Ace; I wonder if anyone ever carjacked a car that was already carjacked.  Or kidnapped a kid from a kidnapper.  That'd be a twist, wouldn't it.  Or carjacked the kidnappers... heh.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on December 01, 2004, 16:27 hrs
I think a Kerry off my TV is perfect. He, at least, is not broadcasting in stereo or mono at the moment.

Bane, as in, "nonsensical attempts at humor are the bane of....."?


I didn't miss any sections, I chose to ignore it, just another way to not admit I didn't understand it. ???

Which end?
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on December 01, 2004, 16:39 hrs
It depends.  I've sat on them about as often as I've worn them.  I was thinking more like "wolf bane."  

I would not admit I didn't not understand it, too.  I bet somewhere Kerry and Gore are sitting in a cabin, commiserating, putting on weight and growing beards...  

Well, actually, that sounds like Al Qaeda more than Al Gore.  ::) Huh.  You know, if Hillary was to run, I suppose Bill would be all for her getting the job.  I'd have to think he sorta enjoyed hanging out at the place.  

Ace; I hope that came out right.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on December 01, 2004, 22:45 hrs
With Ace's last poast, number 307, Scuzzy's Dead Poast has outlived the legendary 'Recent Posts' . Who'd a thunk it?

Yup.  Just think about how much free time he'd have to pursue other interests. "Now where did I leave my cigar?"

Gore with a beard looked like an exploding bear. Though, in his case, it was 'imploded'.

Speaking of chads, I was not aware that Pennington played such a big role in that election.  He is certainly popular in NJ but how he managed to have such clout in Florida is a puzzle.  Must be a friend of Jeb's.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on December 02, 2004, 06:18 hrs
ACE IS AWARDED COMMEMORATIVE POAST BREAKING THE LONGEVITY OF PREVIOUSLY LONGEST POAST

Cool.  Good for me.  Now just watch; some monkey or someone will resurrect the recent poast, which is the true ode to the dead, just to be obstinant.  Even though it's neither recent, nor alive.

Scuzzy deserves all the credit for starting a poast that was meant to end and then botching it up to such a horrific degree where it won't.  What a doofus.  He probably has an extra set of keys to the place, because I bet he's misplaced his before.  

Well, ok, I'm glad the door's unlocked most days.  I guess I'd struggle otherwise, too.

Ace; I'm glad I don't have a birthday coming up.  Those things go on way too long.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on December 02, 2004, 08:07 hrs
People in Ohio heard that headline. Could you make it bigger? The West Coast folks deserve to hear the news too.

Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on December 02, 2004, 11:49 hrs
Well, only the near half of Ohio.  No way sound or traffic is gonna get across that expanse to the other side.

I'll try to be taller. Or louder.  Whichever.  Maybe if I shrink the monkey, I could make some room.  He can probably do without the cigar bands; I don't think he'd mind too much.

Is anyone here on the West Coast?  I thought we pretty much faded out at Colorado and Utah, and the signal didn't go farther.

Ace; I could do a louder color, too.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on December 02, 2004, 11:55 hrs
 :o :o It's still not dead yet??!


Ace! What are you doing man! Get over here and kill this thing!! :P


Geez-lou-light-builb-ise!!!!  WOW!!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on December 02, 2004, 12:19 hrs
What'd you do, shave?  I thought you were going to grow it out.  Unless the bulb can do an electrolysis thing.

Oh, I can't kill anything this week.  Batteries ran out in the vest, and I haven't been anywhere to get new ones.  I suppose they're NiCads.  Probably cost a lot.

Ace; maybe I could use the adaptor.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on December 02, 2004, 13:30 hrs
Yeah.....i've been on a hiatus or something, it seems, from here heh :(



Sorry. :P

Well...use the adapter! And i checked, its not NiCad, its 4"AA" batteries...pick em up and go on a panda rampage!!


:)


Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on December 02, 2004, 14:03 hrs
Ace,

Try this, you seem to use it for almost everything else.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v493/luddite399/snowblower.jpg)
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: trav on December 02, 2004, 14:25 hrs
Give me back my towtruck!!!
:P


errr....digging truckk....whatever you call it!
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on December 02, 2004, 14:27 hrs
"Tow Truck"... Geez Louise, Trav, that's as weird as something I'd say.

Look; let's do this.  I'll pedal, and you ride on the front.

Ace; that'll work.  Watch your toes.
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on December 02, 2004, 17:47 hrs
You see any dang  pedals?

I don't see any dang pedals.  I don't even see a seat for Trav on the "tow truck".  
Title: Re:The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on December 02, 2004, 18:52 hrs
I can pedal without pedals.  Geez Louise, I've got my own foot pedals.

I've got a volume pedal, a Black Dog distortion, A Very Tone pedal (also Snarling Dogs), a DW3 Distortion pedal, an Ibanez Echo, an Ibanez Chorus/Flanger, and another DOD Flanger where the battery connect fell out.  I can pedal till the cows come home.

Or Trav, if he's on the front of that meat grinder.

No seat; he rides on the handlebars.

Ace; well, the whirling blades.  Whatever.
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on January 07, 2007, 17:32 hrs
Hey, I found this old, dead poast lying around and figured I'd shoot it a few more times just to make sure it stays dead.

I remember standing in line at the threater in my hometown, back in 1968, to watch the opening of "The Night of the Living Dead". That was a really creepy movie. Then.

Scuzzy; black and white zombies are the best.

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Mark H on January 07, 2007, 20:16 hrs
How is it dead if I am still able to post to it? This must be Ace's doing in calling something dead that is still alive.  ::)

Mark H
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on January 08, 2007, 05:37 hrs
Geez, talk about stretching for something to do.

Interesting that the code fo the the phoato hot links didn't survive the translocation.

Bill
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on January 08, 2007, 08:12 hrs
ja,
You lost me on that one! But that's not hard to do, these days.

The Picture of Fido still works.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/foxybill/fido3.jpg)
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on January 08, 2007, 14:00 hrs
Quote from: Bill on January 08, 2007, 05:37 hrs
Geez, talk about stretching for something to do.

Interesting that the code fo the the phoato hot links didn't survive the translocation.

Bill

We're still in the process of transferring those files over. Unfortunately, the propagation is taking quite a bit longer than expected, which is slowing things down. For some people (myself included), www.poasters.com still takes them to the old site.

Until the domain is fully propagated, we can't make all the needed adjustments.
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on January 08, 2007, 19:07 hrs
Oh; wah wah wah

Let me get you some wine with that cheese...

"Oh, I started propogating the earth and now it's taken longer than I thought it would since I decided to remodel my perfectly good chatroom and get new furniture and order new appliances but that's ok I'll just move the old ones into my yard with my older ones."

Geez change Louise.  If you'd have just left well enough alone, I could have dusted and maybe vacuumed a bit and the place would've been fine but NOOOOOoooo you had to change it and add on and do whatever it is you guys do every few years when you get bored and decide to try to change the locks and lose the dang jesterjanitor.

Self induced limbo.  redecorating for the easily bored.  Unnecessary moving around of things, around.  Will you ever learn...

Ace; dead poast in a dead zone in a dead place.  Criminy, I hope you never come to my house to propogate.  You'd probably never leave.

Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Mark H on January 08, 2007, 21:22 hrs
Geez Louise, Ace has found the Dead Poast. Now I know that the world must be spinning backward.
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Mark H on January 08, 2007, 23:15 hrs
The Zombie Poast lives on.

Mark H
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on January 09, 2007, 05:38 hrs
Scuzzy,
That was an observation, not a complaint; but thanks for the explanation.

I'll take some of that wine as long as you're offering.  About 55 degrees in a stemmed globe, if you don't mind.

Bill
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: scuzzy on January 12, 2007, 01:20 hrs
I suppose phoato hot links could be called "phoatatos".

Bill, I didn't take it as a complaint, so no worries there.

As for the wine, I'm sipping some Sutter Home Merlot California 2005.

Suczyc; or however you speel my name.
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: halokid on January 12, 2007, 01:27 hrs
QuoteI suppose phoato hot links could be called "phoatatos".
Dan Quail- "sounds like a good idea to me"

looks like i belong here too i misspelled his name  ha ha
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on January 12, 2007, 06:41 hrs
Just like Bill to go complaining again.  You know, I haven't heard about the dog for awhile; how's Killer doing these days?

I hadn't heard we're on a stemmed globe.  That might support global warming, especially if it's getting to be 55 degrees down under. 

Ace; ding dong the poast is dead   stupid poast  big dead poast  ding dong the stupid poast is dead
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Bill on January 12, 2007, 09:13 hrs
Fido has developed a taste for redneck, medium rare.
http://tinyurl.com/cj6l7

The stem is how the globe spins, silly.  Even blond(e)s know that,

Looks like the batteries are dead, again.

Bill
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Ace on January 12, 2007, 16:00 hrs
"Where wolf...?"
"There wolf..."

Ace; not the time to give him a belly rub, I'm thinking.
Title: Re: The Dead Poast
Post by: Mark H on January 12, 2007, 16:04 hrs
Quote from: Ace on January 12, 2007, 16:00 hrs
"Where wolf...?"
"There wolf..."

Ace; not the time to give him a belly rub, I'm thinking.

That wolf looked mighty mean in the picture. I wouldn't mess with him unless I had a gun.

Mark H